How Green Becomes Wood

It's cool he and Daizi have like... a supportive relationship. I don't think my mom and dad really talk to each other. Then, she read the next message, and after a moment asked, What's weirder?
 
Sloan typed a message expressing she did not want to hear about her friend's sex dream--jokingly--but then stared at it for a moment before deleting the message. With what she knew about the twins, this wasn't a good time for jokes. Dreaming about a girl like how?
 
Like I'm attracted to her. I've seen her around at school, and then, one day, just like a week or so ago, I saw her again and... He bit his lip. I feel ashamed objectifying her. I think I might know her name, but I'm not certain. I've never talked to her. I just saw her and thought she was very attractive. And then I had a couple of dreams about her, and I don't know what's happening or what to do! Plenty of girls are pretty. Why her?

After sending that message, he hurriedly sent a second, ears red. I'm sorry if this is too weird. I don't know who else to talk to. Mama is overwhelmed with Ivy and Ba, and you know Xander and how he feels. I can't tell him. He must never, ever know.
 
Sloan swore in surprise and sat up straight: She was not going to bed anytime soon. I don't think you're objectifying her, it's normal to feel attraction to people. Is that who you were looking at? What does she look like? Don't worry, I won't tell Xander.
 
She has this long black hair, pale skin, and perfect eyes, Alec texted back and then felt weird again, but pushed on. She's shorter, but like real short, just shorter end of average, and I don't think I've ever seen her not smiling. She has a really kind smile.
 
She sounds pretty, Sloan replied, You should point her out to me when tomorrow. It's normal to have feelings like that, dude. I'm happy for you. Like I know nothing might happen but it's still healthy to have those feelings, yk?
 
Alec sighed miserably. I know that logically, but I don't want to have these feelings. They just complicate things. I'd really rather not have these feelings, no matter how normal they are, but I'd rather turn them off if I could. Maybe it's just because I'm a, what do you call it, late bloomer?
 
Maybe. You've also spent how long swearing that stuff off? You've like... repressed yourself, or something. Sloan replied, and after a few minutes worked up the courage to say, I'm a lesbian, okay? And if my mom knew that she would be so disappointed and never look at me the same way again. And I knew that, so when I started to develop feelings for girls, I tried SO hard to pretend like I didn't. Like, I compensated SO hard. Those feelings don't go away by ignoring them, that's not how it works. You've gotta just ride them out, and that doesn't mean you have to ask her out or anything, but pretending like you don't feel anything and shaming yourself into shutting them down is only gonna f** you up, I can promise you that.*
 
Alec sat staring at nothing for a bit, thinking about that. Thank you. That really helps. Thank you for talking to me. I know it wasn't easy, but what you said makes sense and helps.
 
Don't worry about it. I've been telling you since we met that you can talk to me. Sloan replied. FWIW I think you should talk to her. Not ask her out, unless you want to, but like. Chat, you know? So she's a person in your mind, not an ideal. The quickest way to get over a crush is to realize they're not like how you imagined, but it can backfire if you realize you like them more than you thought. Regardless, though, I'm serious. Just feel however you feel. Unless you start, idk, fantasizing about hurting her, you're not doing anything wrong.
 
I keep it real. But you've got this! I mean, ngl, you'll probably embarrass yourself, but that's what having a crush means. Everyone embarrasses themselves talking to their crush for the first tiem. I'll see you at school tomorrow!
 
Alec smiled at that. Good night, Sloan. See you tomorrow if you're not too embarrassed to be seen with me! That sent, he curled up and finally dozed off to sleep. Tomorrow was a new and hopefully better day.
 
Daizi and Dark stayed up late that night, and once needed to get up with their daughter, but the hardest part, for Dark, was managing his own swirling thoughts. There were some things he felt compelled to do, as he felt increasingly enveloped by them, but he knew it wasn't right to, so he fought against those urges--successfully.

Come morning, both he and Daizi weren't exactly well rested, but they were prepared to meet the new day nonetheless.
 
Come morning, Alec and both tried to help with breakfast while simultaneously quizzing each other on the tests due that day. The nice thing about being in nearly all of the same classes was the fact that it was easy to be study partners. They were distracted, but still noticed how tired Dark and Daizi were. They said nothing since it didn't seem like something they would want to talk about and headed to school as usual.
 
Ivy was a bit more manageable that day and so Dark was able to spend the full day at school, anxiously awaiting for the end of the school year. It was Wednesday, just two more days to go. Yes, he had many tests to grade, but he could do that at home, and since that and makeup work was all he had left to do, he was able to get a lot done during his planning period. He wasn't happy, and getting out of bed still felt nigh insurmountable--that morning, Daizi had combed and styled his hair for him--but at least soon it would all be on pause.

Then, at the end of the school day, a parent came demanding to see him, and chewed him out for not giving her son extra credit work, and when he tried to explain that he did not give any student extra credit, but her son had plenty of chances to submit late work, which he had communicated with her before, he was only yelled at, until the parent felt satisfied enough to storm off. For a few moments Dark stood tense and then forced himself to exhale before driving home to take Ivy over from his wife until it was time to go back to work on Thursday and do it all again.
 
Wednesday was a normal day for the twins, or as normal as a day of final's week could be only two days away from the end of the school year. They only had a couple more finals left, meaning Friday was free and clear! Some of the other kids talked about not bothering to show up on Friday, but the twins would be there. It didn't matter if there was nothing left to do, they'd be there. It had never been something they did before, but with Dark there, of course, they were going to be there. At lunchtime, Alec did slip away from Xander long enough to point out a girl to Sloan. She was of Asian descent and, as Alec said, pale with long black hair she let hang loose. Alec got as far as walking toward her and her group of friends before pretending like he was actually going somewhere else and shamfully slinking back to Xander without a word. Nope. Couldn't do it. Nope.

Thursday. Xander had one make-up test to do, and they both had two finals. That was it! Then they were done! A couple of the teachers were having things like mini parties in their rooms to keep the kids occupied, but they'd already agreed they'd probably just get permission to hang out in Dark's room. Peter had already said he'd join them, and Xander intended to ask Milo if he wanted to join them, too. A nice, quiet room.
 
Sloan thought she had seen the girl around before, and agreed with Alec that she was very cute. When Alec attempted, and failed, to talk to her, Sloan good-naturedly squeezed his shoulder but didn't say a word about it. God, she understood exactly what he felt in that moment, but talking about it would just make it worse.

Of course, on Thursday he allowed his sons and his friends to come to his classroom. He did not host parties, but he did allow students to drop in. Occasionally, a student or two would come to his room to study, but when the twins and their friends came in, the classroom was empty except for him, and he had low music playing as he graded a stack of makeup work.
 
"I brought snacks," Xander announced, holding up his backpack.

"I wondered why that was heavier than usual," Alec mused. "I brought a couple of mini drinks, but if anyone's really thirsty, they'll have to hit the water fountains."

"Wow, that's great!" Peter grinned. "Where's Becky and Tom?"

Alec winced. "Tom had a bit of a breakdown and got permission to go home early. He'd finished his tests, anyway. Becky is hanging out in the art teacher's room."

Xander claimed a corner of the classroom for their own gathering. Alec helped him spread out a large, soft blanket they'd brought from home and settled down, leaving plenty of space for Milo and anyone else who wanted to join. Peter lent a hand spreading out the snacks while Alec brought a couple of Dark's favorite over to him. They quieted as they settled down, and Alec had even brought a book to read.
 
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