CoR Moving forward

[illirica]

Location

The Railyard

Things seemed to have settled down after the trip out to the Den, which had been far more eventful than it needed to be for a place that was currently an abandoned fire scar. It'd been fine for a while, and then there'd been magic and extradimensional corpses and werebadgers.

Admittedly, there had only been one werebadger, but there'd certainly been a lot of him. They'd managed to get him back to the Railyard in approximately one piece, plus or minus a few bits here and there, which was good enough for practical purposes. After that, well, after that he'd become Ragenard's problem, and however that problem got resolved, it looked like it was likely to get resolved in Iverian.

-Fuck-

This being the relevant sum of her Iverian knowledge on the matter, Rhetta had decided to let that one fall as not her problem, at least after she'd made sure that Jesse was going to look him over. She'd have to track him down later for an assessment, and find out what he thought the man's weak points were, in case she ended up needing to sit on him later. For now, it seemed like he was going to be out for a good long while, and everyone else was wrapping up with whatever had happened there, and heading... home.

Yeah.

That was a thing.

It would have been different, she thought, if it had been the Den - but the Railyard didn't have the right feel, not yet, and it wasn't exactly set up for transients. That was something to talk to someone about. Ragenard probably had enough to deal with, maybe she'd run it by Desmond. Or Baron. James.

That could be a later conversation. Putting it off was as easy as following the gross cherry candy scent of Ziessel's vape to where she was standing outside under an awning, watching the rain to see when or if it was going to stop. It had let up some, since before - not as deafening, just somewhat soggy.

"Hey." A quiet opener, as Rhetta settled her back against the wall. At least the damn cherry scent was familiar.

Nothing else was.

 

[Hollow glade]

After their return from what remained of the Den, Ziessel had waited around to see what happened with Broch, their dangerous ally. When it was clear the situation was handled, she had gone back to her room and place of work, to get through more paperwork and also record what had happened that day. A lot more than any of them expected, most likely.

She had just come out to enjoy the rain and have a smoke, or a vape, when Rhetta came out to join her. She had been on her phone, emailing the energy company in charge of the electricity back at her house. Which she wanted to get working as soon as possible.

"Hey, didn't expect you out here." She said quietly.

 

[illirica]

"I ran out of crisises," Rhetta said, by way of an answer. Maybe it was more of a non-answer, but maybe not. Ziessel would probably understand. They'd both been throwing themselves at whatever they could find that needed doing, because doing something was better than doing nothing.

She shrugged a little, watching the rain coming down. "It's too quiet in there."

Inside the Railyard. The Den had been different. There were always people there, for one reason or another. The Railyard... people came there when they needed to, and did what they were supposed to, and then they went home. The Den was home. This felt more like an office. Maybe it would change. It was too soon - too soon for all of them, and maybe a lot of that was just that half the people who were supposed to be there hadn't made it out, the past two weeks.

So. It was too quiet.

"How about you?"

 

[Hollow glade]

Rhetta was right. It was quiet. Ziessel had never minded quiet and she preferred it, too. But this was different. It wasn't lack of noise. It was empty hearts and new faces. Unexplored espaces and recovering bodies, still as death waiting in the infirmary.

"Getting the utilities working so I can go home soon." She said, letting an awkward silence blanket them while she thought about what to say next.

Have you had enough of me yet? Do you want to come with me? I don't know how to sleep without knowing you're in the next room over. I'm scared of going home and being alone. Not that Rhetta wouldn't ever come over, or Xandre. But they were all busy, so busy Ziessel might as well sleep here before going through her morning routine without someone noisier than her to growl at before she had even had her tea.

"Are you staying here?" She asked, after clearing her throat a bit. I would miss you, please come along. Was what she wanted to say. But neither of them were fucking telepaths. So she had asked the next best thing she could put into words.

 

[illirica]

Utilities. Right. Home.

It was too quiet out here, too. There was just the sound of the rain, and too many thoughts seeping in like groundwater. I don't know that there's any such thing as home any more. I thought it would be there, but it isn't. There's here, but here isn't home. I could go somewhere, but it wouldn't feel right. Prison felt more normal than this does. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go anywhere else. The place I want to go doesn't exist any more.

"I haven't decided. Maybe." Rhetta shrugged a shoulder, as if she could push off the weight of uncertainty. "Figure I'll keep an eye on that badger. Someone needs to do that."

I need to do that because then I'll be someone. Half the people here don't know me, half of the ones I know are gone, and the ones I do know have changed so much I'm not sure if I know them any more, and I'm not sure if they know me either. I'm not sure I know me. I know who I used to be. I know who I want to be. I don't know who I am right now.

"Why?"

 

[Hollow glade]

The little silences between their words were heavier than said werebadger, or so Ziessel thought. It was an estimation because she had not actually tried to lift him. But damn if that man wasn't dense.

"There's a lot of eyes on him already" She said, very quietly, taking another drag from her vape. Cherry flavoured not quite smoke. Like that fateful night. She still remembered the policewoman's face. And she knew her name. She'd find her one day. But that day could wait a little bit longer.

"Anyway, because... This feels like a completely different world than it was five years ago. And I thought... Fucking hell I guess I've forgotten how to explain myself now." She growled at herself, frustrated to no end with her difficulty to breach the damn subject.

"I have a guest bedroom. And it's yours if you want it." Please want it?. She folded her arms over her chest and sighed, looking away from her friend. Because she was too old to make puppy eyes at another girl so they could keep being best friends who shared a common ceiling. Even if she low-key wanted to get tattooed friendship bracelets that wouldn't last. Or matching earrings. But that was too much, wasn't it? Just fleeting childish desires she didn't dare entertain.

 

[illirica]

Ziessel felt it too. Rhetta wasn't exactly comforted by that - she'd rather Sel were having an easier go of it. She deserved to have an easier go of it. Still, there was a comraderie in it, in knowing that she wasn't just crazy. Not about this, anyway.

The offer was... not exactly anticipated, but it didn't take her long to know her answer at all. Yes. Fuck. I want it. Somewhere to be that isn't here, that isn't ashes. Best not to speak too quickly, to seem too fucking desperate. They were both fucking desperate, weren't they?

"Yeah. All right. For a while. You can kick me out if things change, though."

Things always changed, they always would change. Maybe it was silly to try to hold on to anything, but damn if she didn't want to.

 

[Hollow glade]

It was like she had been holding enough air to take a thousand breaths. Maybe it wasn't that much in perspective but it felt like enough to drown in, had it been water.

Ziessel smiled.

"Noted, we'll make you a copy of the keys on our way there. I should have the situation sorted in a couple of days." She added, going quiet after that. She should go back inside, back to work. But the rain painted a beautiful landscape of melancholy that was hard to want to escape. Like a fur in a cold winter morning, with its own symphony to match. Composed by nature, the finest artist in the world. It brought memories of Tiranoth, of love and stolen moments before returning to a daily routine. Of what had been home. Once upon a time.

Slowly, she leaned a bit more into Rhetta's space and against her shoulder. It was a well guarded secret that her favourite scent was hers, mixed with the one of 'smoky' cherries.

 

[illirica]

The silence stopped, filled with simple, practical talk. Practical was easy. It didn't get stuck. Keys, utilities, that sort of thing. Those things had answers, instead of all the other questions that they weren't asking, or all the other things they weren't talking about.

Ziessel leaned in, and Rhetta let her. It'd been five years just the two of them, after all, with no one else from the Pack around. If Sel wanted to lean in, she got to lean in, no questions asked. Sometimes the questions didn't need to be asked.

A hint of a smile appeared for a moment, then turned just a little bit wicked. "You sure Xandre doesn't want that second bedroom?"

 

[Hollow glade]

Oh well, that topic was bound to come up eventually. Xandre and her weren't exactly spreading the word, but they weren't hiding it either. And friends teased each other about it, didn't they?. At least they got the housing situation sorted out first. The place would need repairs for sure, and they also needed to visit Sal's place. Either to pick up some of his stuff, because some of it was special enough Ziessel refused to leave it to fall into grubby hands ... Or to break in and steal shit. But now, back to the topic of her recent dalliances.

She snorted, amused.

"I think you've heard enough to know if he stays over it will be in my bedroom." She said, not really moving from this comfortable spot she had obtained, and wasn't being pushed away from.

 

[illirica]

"Didn't need to hear anything. You were looking at him from that first moment." At first it could have been just the relief at something familiar, but it hadn't taken that long to tell it wasn't just that - or maybe it was that and that was all it needed to be, that was fine too. Rhetta wasn't going to judge.

"I have heard some things though. Just so you know." Of course, there were always rumors, about - well, any combination, really, especially from the idiot prospects who didn't know how to read people yet and just made their speculations by throwing darts at a board. Rhetta rather enjoyed the rumors. It was a good way of knowing things were comfortable, somehow.

"Besides, maybe he needs the second bedroom for his shoe collection or something, I don't know." Mostly teasing, certainly, but there was also a tacit approval couched in there somewhere.

 

[Hollow glade]

That last comment almost, almost made her laugh! She snorted again instead and covered her mouth with her hand to hide her amused grin.

"I guess whatever you heard doesn't count unless you got it from Xan or me." She said, not losing the smile. It was also a sort of reminder, that rumours were rumours. They could get nasty sometimes. But she didn't think they'd bother their short friend. And they wouldn't bother her either.

"Nah don't worry, you can keep the space for your fake eyelash collection or something, I don't know." She teased back, pretty sure it was one of the most unlikely things to be found near Rhetta. Hell, she would believe s doppelganger had taken over if she did!.

 

[illirica]

"Oh, I was planning to keep those in the bathroom, right by your toothbrush." Not that Rhetta currently owned any fake eyelashes, or... anything else, really. There hadn't seemed to be much point to it. There still didn't, not really. She had never been materialistic. Everything she'd ever had was replaceable, nothing she was attached to.

Almost nothing, anyway.

"You two be good to each other, all right?" Sel could definitely use a little of that, and Rhetta didn't know what Xandre had been through recently, but just being a part of what everyone else had been part of... it couldn't have been good.

 

[Hollow glade]

That was one way to get teeth bacteria in your eyes that Ziessel had never thought about before. But huh, she would be more careful about it now. She had a couple of pairs of the magnetic lashes, from way back. But she preferred mascara anyway.

"It hasn't even been two days! But... I don't know what we are or what we will be. Only that he's nice, hot and he makes me laugh." What more could she ask for? She struggled enough to make connections that this had surprised her the night before. That it was reciprocal, that it was fun. That it went so well.

But still, whatever blossomed or died between her and Xandre, didn't mean she loved Rhetta any less. She had been one of two best friends before their jail time. Now she was her best friend, period.

"I still need you around though. Don't go thinking you can slack off." Don't even think that you're any less important, or a lesser part of my life, just because there's more people in it now. As few as they were that she let close to her heart. Their numbers now diminished, crumbled, slaughtered.

 

[illirica]

It hasn't even been two days was just protesting too much. "So... be really good to each other, hmm?" There was a definite implication there, and Rhetta wasn't even going to pretend there wasn't. If it lasted, it lasted - and if it didn't, then they could enjoy the time they had together, and that could be enough.

Of course, then Ziessel had to go ruin everything by being nice about things. Rhetta debated shoving her into the mud just on principle, but... not this time. Maybe some other time.

"I'll be here, Sel." Quietly. They might have been teasing about some things, to make them easier, but some things needed to be serious. Some things needed to be quiet.

Not for too long, though. "Someone's gotta stick around to kick Xandre's ass if he starts leaving his socks on the floor, after all. And we go way back, so I know where all his weak spots are."

 

[Hollow glade]

Ziessel pulled away from Rhetta then after letting out a satisfied little hum, and lifted her arms over her head, with an also little, yawn. She stretched and took another drag from the vape before putting the thing away.

"Make sure to remind him too, before or after he starts coming over." She said with a tired smile, doubting that Xandre would go around spilling clothes outside of her bedroom. But who knew, maybe they should start a gymkana style hunt with dirty socks around the house. If the smell wasn't a concern, she might suggest it. To add a little spark of benevolent mischief to their lives.

"I should get back to it, but I'm glad we talked. See you around?" Until move in day, but she could text Rhetta the details for that.

 

[illirica]

That seemed to settle a few things, didn't it? Maybe it would be all right. Rhetta hadn't really lived with anyone else since her mother's death - and she'd hardly lived on her own, either, if she were being honest. She'd technically had a tiny apartment, but she'd spent almost all of her time at the Den, because that was where the rest of the Pack was. She had probably spent more time truly on her own during the last five years than anything else, due to random bouts of solitary confinement when the prison guards were feeling prickly. She'd kept everything under wraps enough that there had never been anything that they could use to push out the sentence, just like Sel had, but there were always little things. Looking at someone funny, usually, because it didn't have to be proven or disproven and was more of a goad to try to get her to do something else, something with real repercussions. Rhetta had declined to be provoked, because she'd known that the Bloodstones would be there when she got out.

Instead there had been all of this. It was probably no wonder that she and Sel were gravitating towards each other. It was probably also unhealthy, for a variety of reasons. Her mother would have said something about codependency, no doubt.

Sel was Pack, though, and watching out for her came with the territory. After everything they'd been thought already, Rhetta wasn't going to leave her to go through this next part alone. She'd make sure Ziessel was settled in with everything and adapting to all the changes, because Sel was a friend, and friends didn't let each other struggle through that sort of shit on their own.

Being entirely aware that this was a rationalization to avoid confronting the fact that she didn't want to be alone either was not helping the situation.

She gave Ziessel a casual nod, as both of them had other things to be doing.

"Yeah. See you around."