How Green Becomes Wood

Cooger exhaled through his nose, amused, "Please, as if she's not going to start saying Arabic swears. Do you pay attention to what he," He nodded to Dark, "says under his breath?"

"Me?" Dark blinked, touching his hand to his chest, "My friend, I let you say all the filthy words you like, all day, and I do not begrudge you, because I know you are Qalil al’adab."

He looked at the twins, "What did I tell you?"

Daizi laughed lightly, "Cooger, he said you're 'of little literature.' He's saying you're ill-mannered."

"I know what it means! I was just hoping he'd say something like Kol khara and prove my point!" Cooger explained, laughing at being bested once more before focusing back in, "Don't feel selfish kid, it's a hard hard thing. I know you were around when their last rat died, it's tough. And it's expensive. There's a whole lot you gotta make peace with so it don't destroy you."
 
Xander smirked at Dark and said quietly, "Trust me, I've heard it all." And taken notes.

"Thanks, Cooger," Alec smiled. "Maybe someday I'll get a middle-aged cat. That would be nice, I think!"
 
"Swears are only taboo because we need to have taboo words to sufficiently express emotion," Dark replied elegantly, knowing full well how crude the translations of some of his swears were. But, in his defense, the other half were incredibly poetic.

"Cats, once they've really settled into themselves, that's the best age. Less worry about them being stupid, no sharp kitten teeth, just a pal. And cats just sorta cat, so you don't gotta worry about what their previous owners taught 'em, like you have to with dogs. Still gotta worry about how their last owner treated 'em, 'cause a cat can be traumatized definitely, but you don't gotta worry about a cat only barking at people of certain hues, if you catch my meaning. There was this one dog at the shelter----Man. Felt so bad, 'cause she was a sweet girl, but her owner taught her some nastiness."
 
"The best part about cats is you never really own them. They don't let you. Nobody has ever owned a cat, they're just little creatures who decide you're worth spending time with. Doesn't make it any easier to lose them, but it sure feels good to have 'em."
 
"Guardianship makes sense, I guess," Cooger replied with a shrug, "I still think people own dogs, though, dogs are happy to just follow you around. I like 'em, but it's a different dynamic."

"You give Enkidu too little credit," Dark mused, nearly tossing a bit of his dinner to his dog out of respect, but knowing he got enough extra treats purely due to the nature of having a baby who was learning to feed herself.
 
"Dogs follow whom they choose to follow, and they'll give loyalty - full loyalty - only to those they respect," Xander said, rising to the defense of Enkidu and dogs everywhere. "And there are dogs that will make you earn their respect. If they don't respect you, they won't follow you. Some might out of fear, but how long does that last?"
 
"Exactly," Dark confirmed with a satisfied nod, "Dogs are one of the only animals who will look at where you are pointing to and not at your finger, because dogs try to understand what you need from them, and want to do well. I enjoy cats, and I miss when our girl was slinking around the place. But you and your dog are a team, it is not that way with a cat, however deep the bond is."

"Dogs give loyalty if you feed them," Cooger said, with a little grin.

"As if cats do not," Dark replied, "Cats are more swayed by food than dogs are."
 
"Some cats can develop a deep bond with their human and work with them just like if not better than dogs," Alec said, putting himself on the cat side of the argument. "And they are social creatures who, for the most part, prefer to be with more of their own kind rather than alone. They are all about teamwork when taking down a rattlesnake or a raccoon or even a dog."

"Yeah, but the cats who give their humans teamwork are the exception," Xander pointed out.
 
"You are giving teamwork to cats, the assemblage notoriously difficult to herd?" Dark asked, unable to not appear incredulous, "You are giving cats teamwork over dogs, who are notorious for pack behavior? It was not cats who brought medicine to Alaska."

"Are you talking about---"

"Balto, obviously."

"How do you know about Balto?"

"Everyone knows about Balto, he was a very good dog, and I was a history teacher," Dark replied with a wave of his hand, "and I have read Where the Red Fern Grows which is not about Balto, but Big Dan saved his owner from a mountain lion, and dogs deserve credit for that."
 
"Maybe, but you forgot about Little Ann," Alec pointed out. "Big Dan was brave, but Little Ann was smart and clever. She deserves equal credit. Also, cats are all over in the history books!"

"You mean like the cat that left its footprints on the old texts and stuff?" Xander smirked. "The monks even named it and shamed it."

"That just proves the monks cared about the cat enough to name it, meaning the love of cats is not new. But no. That's not what I mean. I mean cats that have kept lost children warm in the snow, squared off against mountain lions, and bapped alligators back into the water! And there was that cat that ran off a dog that was attacking a little kid."
 
"Both of those dogs were heroes," Dark said, "Little Anne does not help you argument, she was also a dog. She was not a cat. I only mentioned Big Dan specifically, because he died from his injuries, Little Anne died from a broken heart. I do not believe cats never save lives, but it is inarguable dogs save more."

Daizi rested her head in her hand and turned her face towards Ivy, "Are you hearing this, habibti?"
 
Alec gasped. "That is an unfounded argument! It is impossible to say with true certainty that dogs actually save more than cats for one reason: dogs are more likely to praised and documented in the salvation of lives than cats. Cats often go without credit because they deal with the problem before it becomes a problem. Like, for example, a cat killing a rattlesnake in a farmer's barn isn't going to be praised for doing that. They have to do something really big to actually accomplish recognition while dogs get the same recognition just by existing. Not to mention the vast number of cats that help with mental health. That's life saving, but no one talks about them."

"He's got a point about it being impossible to statistically prove which animal saves more lives, especially if you take into account the 'might have beens,'" Xander said mildly.
 
"Rescue dogs," Dark said simply, "In addition to natural, unexpected moments of pet heroism are dogs specially trained to save people. Therefore, dogs save more people. Service animals are also primarily dogs. I am not saying there are not service cats, but the bulk of service animals are dogs. And you need not talk to me about mental health, but remember all pets help with mental health, so you cannot attribute mental health to cats. Especially since dogs force you to leave the house, rather than rotting in bed."

"What do you think, Ivy?" Daizi asked, tickling her baby's cheek with one finger, "Do you like kitties or puppies more?"

"Think of the black plague," Cooger said, "Carried on the fleas on rats. Who killed rats?"

"Fleas attach to anything with blood," Dark replied with a frown, "and it is not that I dislike cats, I love cats, I have nothing against them, but it is disrespectful to insult dogs in front of Enkidu."
 
"I did not imply dogs are better, I said dogs and humans form a different bond than humans do. If you think different implies one is worse, than that is your own burden to bear: Certainly you would agree Daizi and I have a different bond than Cooger and I have."

"Am I the cat or the dog in that scenario?" Daizi asked dryly, picking up Ivy's spoon to help feed her the rest of her dinner.

"You are the human," Dark said immediately, knowing there was no other safe answer.
 
"No, you said that cats don't form bonds, or as deep of bonds, as dogs do to humans rendering them incapable of doing most dog tasks, meaning they are less valuable to humans," Alec stated.

"That's what it sounded like to me, but I'm not arguing against that statement," Xander drawled.
 
"It is a biological truth cats cannot perform the same tasks dogs can. That is not a slight against cats, but it is the truth. Cats and dogs were domesticated differently, and are domesticated from different species, and the result is two different brains suitable to different things. Dogs were the first animal to be domesticated, and dog domestication was more actively enmeshed with human behavior. Dogs learn more tasks, because the trainability of dogs is what made dog domestication so advantageous for humanity. When cats were domesticated, there was a different niche to be filled, not one based upon trainability but upon what cats are already prone to do: hunt." Dark explained, with all the passion he had as a teacher, "I do not talk about values, I am not a political economist, all life is valuable. But they have different brains, and therefore different bonds, and because of how dogs were domesticated, they make a more cohesive team with humans."
 
"Cats aren't domesticated," Alec said in amusement. "Right, Uncle Cooger? They are with us because they choose to be with us. They are an apex predator in a teeny-tiny body. They don't need to be around us or give us affection, but they do because they choose to. Meanwhile, dogs follow people around because they were given handouts as wolves and decided, sure, we'll do the whole pack things with the humans. Dogs are sell-outs."

"Nah, dogs do the pack thing with humans to get stronger, choosing the paths that were better for dogs as a whole, unlike cats who only choose the individual," Xander said.

"They do not! Cats utalize teamwork with cats they've never met to defend against a common foe. Dogs have to really know each other to work together, so which pack is stronger?" Alec countered.
 
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