How Green Becomes Wood

"Alright, I'll let you know," Xander promised. He headed upstairs to his room. Only once the door close did he let out a quiet sigh, his shoulders slumping. He didn't mean to hide anything from his parents. There just wasn't a lot they could do about the heaviness in his chest. Except soup. The soup made things better. A lot better. Easier to handle, but it was still there. He found his music player and sat in his usual corner, closing his eyes as he let the music flow through him.

Alec sat on his bed with his sketchbook and pencils. He glanced up briefly when Xander walked in before turning his eyes back to his work. It was a sketch of his mother as he remembered her. He knew his memories of her painted her a little different from reality, but that was okay. As long as he remembered.
 
There didn't seem to be much left for either Dark or Daizi to do to help the twins that evening. After calling the school, Dark went out to his shed and Daizi went to play the harp once Ivy was in bed. She wondered if she should knock on the twins' door to alert them she was on her way to do something she enjoyed, so she could feel like she was really committing to the therapist's homework, but they were dealing with enough. Maybe they'd hear her. But even though she was physically doing something she enjoyed, her mind kept wondering off and occupied she struck a sour note.
 
Alec could hear Daizi playing, and he looked up when he heard the sour note. He glanced at Xander, but Xander was off in his own place now, relaxing quietly bit by bit. Alec set aside his drawing and got up, creeping quietly out the door. He stood in the hallway, listening for the harp. A sour note was so unusual for Daizi.
 
Since she couldn't see, Daizi had no idea her son was standing there listening. Really, she didn't look all that different than she had at dinner. She wasn't crying and her face wasn't blotchy, it just... looked like her heart wasn't in it. As she played, she made an attempt to focus in, but she'd grow distracted in time and hit a wrong note. Sometimes, she just shrugged it off and continued on, but as Alec watched her, she pulled her hands back, rubbed her face, and took a few deep breaths to try and shake out the cobwebs before placing her hands back on the strings.
 
Alec hesitated, going back and forth on what he should do. Part of him wanted to go back to his room, but another part wanted to be here. He chose to be with his mother and quietly walked to the piano. As Daizi started to play, so did he. This music was much different from what he normally played with the band in the pizza parlor, but he loved it all the same.
 
At the sound of the piano, Daizi jumped, accidents hitting the strings with a slight twang.

"Oh," She exhaled, settling after the brief fright, "Sorry. I didn't realize anyone was there."
 
"I know," Daizi replied with a little exhale, trying to shake the surprise out of her head. Then, after a few moments of listening to Alec carry on, she brought her hands back to her strings and resumed playing.
 
When Daizi continued, Alec played with more confidence, allowing the piano to join the harp without reservation. It felt good to play with her again. They hadn't been doing that as much lately. He hoped she didn't mind his joining in, but it had seemed like she needed a littl help with focusing on the music. Maybe this would help.
 
Having him there did help her with focusing a little bit, but her heart still wasn't totally in it, as hard as she tried. Hopefully this didn't count as her not actually taking time for herself, it was really the only reason why she was playing that evening, even though she didn't really feel like it. It just, it was the only thing she could think of to do.
 
Alec played to the end of the song. Then he stood and went around to Daizi. He wrapped her in a hug, trying to make her feel just a little better, like how she made him feel better.
 
At Alec's touch, following the initial moment of surprise, the softest whimper escaped her lips before she had a chance to stop it. Then she turned and hugged him back, not crying, but just taking a little while just to hug him before saying, "Thank you for checking on me. I'm okay."
 
"Thank you, baby," Daizi murmured, resting against Alec instead of forcing herself to pull away. Hearing the praise really did mean so much, but it didn't stop her heart from squeezing, although that wasn't her children's fault, "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."
 
"We all do," Alec assured her. He squeezed her gently in his arms. "I bet you more than any of the rest of us. It's okay. It's okay to be... overwhelmed I guess is a good word."
 
"I don't know if I have more," She replied quietly with her eyes shut. The twins had a still-recent loss to mourn, and an adjustment to having completely new parents to cope with, and Dark had... everything he was burdened with. No, it didn't seem right to claim she had the most. But she knew he was right about one thing, she was overwhelmed. And it frustrated her so, so much.
 
"It will get better," She replied, slowly pulling herself away and pushing her hair back either both hands. For two years, she had been telling herself it would get better.

After a few moments, she reached out and squeezed Alec's hands, "I think, ultimately, it has been getting better. It's not... perfect, now, it's not easy, now. But it's better than it's been before, surely. Even though it's not easy, surely it's easier than it used to be."
 
Alec smiled and squeezed her hands in return. "We've had lots of good moments, Mama! Lots of amazing times and good times. Even now when it's kind of a bad time, you're right, it is easier than before, and we're learning to deal with things better."
 
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