How Green Becomes Wood

"I work with the animal shelter, so they're always looking. I really just get them to a temperament where they're ready to be homed permanently. There've been a few who I've decided to keep. Despite my preference for old cats, a few years ago I adopted this sweet little girl Sarah, I named her that 'cause she reminds me of Tarot, and there were like, a thousand Sarahs in the Salem Witch Trials, she's a grey one with socks who typically stays inside. But for the most part I like sending them off to their forever homes, it doesn't hurt any. They get to go somewhere they'll be cherished, that's a great thing."

As Xander milled around following the chickens, a fairly substantial goose came around the other side of the house, following the majority of the chickens, and when she saw Xander, she began flapping her wings and strode right up to him, honking incessantly. At the sound, all of the cats except for Hank quickly returned to the inside of the cabin while Cooger just laughed and said, "Told ya, that's Millie. Millie ya dolt, I brought 'im here, relax." He fished around in his pocket and found some few spare pellets and tossed them towards the goose, which diverted her attention completely.
 
When the especially large chicken with the misshapen head and neck came charging at Xander, flapping and screaming like a broken car horn, Xander took off running. Small chickens were one thing, this thing was as tall as his waist! He wanted no part in fighting with a dinosaur chicken! He didn't stop even when Cooger tossed out the pellets. He took a running leap and vaulted over the porch railing to land a couple of feet from Hank.

"Safe!" Alec cheered, holding up his hands like a referee.

Xander straightened and brushed himself off. "Right, who's ready to go inside? Inside sounds fantastic, let's go!" He turned and strode toward the door.

Alec smiled and followed after him, waving goodbye to the goose. Once they got inside, both reached for the salt bowl and started to take off their shoes. There was no salt bowl. They stopped in confusion. What were they supposed to do without a salt bowl?
 
Seeing Xander bolt away from the goose, all Cooger could do was laugh, "I warned you! Have you never seen a goose before?" He shook his head, and, still laughing, watched bemused as the boys looked around looking lost, "Dang they trained you good! You don't gotta take your shoes off here."

The inside of the cabin was relatively small. The kitchen and living room were all one space and a loft held Cooger's bedroom. A small hallway led to a couple more rooms and the whole interior was wooden and rustic. It was pretty simplistic, because he was not a man who drove himself insane over decor. When they walked in, the cat he had mentioned, Sarah, strode up and rubbed against their legs before sauntering off. Two more cats lounged on the couch, "The rest are probably back in their room," He said, walking further into his cabin, "I've got three bedrooms, one of 'em is the cat room. The sofa," he pointed, "is one of those with the buttons on the side that makes it recline, so the living room is basically a fourth bedroom if it's needed."
 
"What's the third bedroom for?" Alec asked curiously, struggling to get his one shoe back on. "If one is for you, one is for the cats, and this one is optional, that leaves one bedroom unaccounted for."

"What are you, the bedroom police?" Xander asked. He strolled around, watching his feet in case of cats, and looked around curiously. He rather liked this space. It was bigger than he'd expected even seeing the outside. He'd always more or less pictured Cooger as living in a studio apartment that reeked of cats. This was surprisingly nice, although he now worried about getting splinters. Splinters were the worst.
 
"Dark and Tarot, originally," Cooger replied, "They're giants, they can't sleep on the couch. Both of them? Nah, when we moved into separate houses, which was really weird, because Tarot had always been the one coming to our place, and suddenly I was the one going to their place, and I still think that the three of us should live together, but I guess it works out, 'cause the three of us have our dream homes, but after they moved out, they'd come over to my apartment, and sometimes they'd be too tired or otherwise unable to drive home, so they'd stay over. When it came time to build the cabin, I figured I better put in a room for 'em."

He went to his fridge and pulled out a rootbeer. It seemed a bit early in the day for soda, but it was way too early for alcohol, and it was the 4th of July, he didn't want to just drink a glass of water, "Also my parents sometimes stay there. And if when Tarot has that baby of hers it goes overnight, it'll be your room. I don't imagine y'all have a problem sharing a bed." He offered a bottle of rootbeers to each of the twins while they got settled. Never in his life did he want kids, and that hadn't changed, but for a long time he was excited to be an uncle, and now having Dark and Daizi's kids over meant he was finally truly living that dream.
 
Alec and Xander gladly accepted the drinks and found a spot to sit, Xander leaving his backpack of supplies by the door. They hadn't wanted to both take a pack, so Xander had shoved everything into his.

"We don't mind," Alec assured Cooger. "We've shared a bed most of our lives, usually because there wasn't room for two beds. Now that we do have two, well, most of the time we end up sharing the one bed anyway. Especially in winter. It's cold sleeping alone."

"In summer it's awesome having two beds," Xander admitted. He glanced around the cabin. "It's funny. I would have thought the professor would want to stay in a place like this, too, but the big house does suit him and Daizi."

"Cooger," Alec said slowly, "we've... we've been wanting to do something nice for Dark and Daizi. We know they'd protest until they were blue in the face, but we know that we've been, well, we've brought a lot of stress into their lives."

"Even if it is worth it, we want to show them we appreciate it," Xander told Cooger. "I mean really appreciate it."

"The thing is, we're not sure what we can do," Alec concluded. "Gifts? They have everything they need. A vacation? They should totally go on one, but it's not like we could plan it."

"Maybe a dinner or something like that?" Xander suggested. "But that's kind of every day. I did make Dark a gift, a small thing, but I haven't had a chance to give it to him yet, and I dunno what to do for Daizi."
 
"They would both prefer the seclusion of this place compared to that suburb," Cooger agreed, "but they wanted to have kids, so they picked a place in a good school district. And Dark likes carving things out of wood, but he's not 'woodsy,' the man loves his suits and gothic horror, he needs his castle. We're like if Bigfoot and Dracula grew up together," He chuckled, and sat down on in one of is chairs after shooing a cat out of it, and stretching out, he took a few sips from his bottle, thinking about what they had said.

"See, now you've reached a conundrum I've been dealing with for most of my life. But, you realize that anything you do would mean the world to them, right? I mean, Tarot still talks all the time about that rainbow you gave her on mother's day... Making things for them is always smarter, so whatever you made him, he will definitely adore because the two of you have made them both so soft. But I suppose, to narrow it down, if you do something like a dinner, or something of that type of gesture, do you want it to be something you set up for the two of them to enjoy alone, or do you want it to be something the four of you do together?"
 
Alec and Xander exchanged a quick glance, considering. "Even if it begins with the four of us, it should end with just them two together," Alec stated. "Together with nothing to worry about."

"They keep talking about going on a little vacation together, but they still haven't pinned down a time," Xander grumbled.

Alec grinned and nudged him. "There's an idea! We could get them a hotel room. We make them dinner ourselves, or you can, I suppose, and then they can go off to the hotel for a little mini vacation of their very own."

Xander raised his brow. "I like it, but it sounds really clunky. 'We got you a gift, but you have to drive yourselves to it?' Not to mention, I know neither of us have spent much of our allowances, but I don't think we've saved up enough for a really nice hotel."

"Oh, good point," Alec mused.
 
Cooger nodded, drumming his fingers and listened to them, "Since they're planning to go away regardless, you don't really have to worry about affording a hotel for them--and they wouldn't want you to spend that much money on them anyway--you can just pick a weekend and a hotel and tell them to go. Because you both know why they haven't gone yet, right? So you can make them their dinner and, you know, put the effort into it with the candles and music playing or whatever, so it doesn't just feel like they're eating at home, and at dinner let 'em know that you can't afford to send them yourselves, but you did the planning, and you want them to, you know, have a nice relaxing trip together." He chuckled and shook his head, "And then you try like hell not to think about what sending 'em off alone means. But even if you had the money, I wouldn't pay for their hotel room and surprise them with, 'congratulations, you're leaving tomorrow,' because you know how Dark is. My man is obsessed with planning and if you tried to pack his bags you'd probably forget one of his seventeen thousand skincare products and it'd stress him out so much he'd be miserable. So you still have to leave time for him to plan for himself."
 
Alec smiled faintly at that. "You raise a good point, and I like your alternative."

Xander frowned. "What does sending them away alone mean? She's currently, you know, so they wouldn't do anything particularly, you know."

"Cooger just said to not think about it," Alec reminded him. "Anyway, I think that's a splendid idea! Xander, you do meal, and I'll plan out the weekend for them. I can't book it for them, but I can make certain of availability."

Xander nodded. "Guess I need to try to read a cookbook," he muttered.

"Thank you, Cooger," Alec told him. "You really helped."
 
Cooger did not respond to Xander's line of questioning, because he didn't want those images in his own head, and he didn't want to be the one to explain those things to the kid. He could figure that out for himself in the distant future while performing some mindless activity when the intrusive realization pops into his head and horrifies him.

"Cookbooks aren't too hard to follow, I'm a dumbass and I've been able to successfully use them. And you can set the table a bit fancier, you know, use a tablecloth, get some fancy non-alcoholic wine," He finished his rootbeer and set it on the counter, and to Alec said, "It's really no problem--the amount of time one of them have come to me for help surprising the other-- I'm basically an expert at it, although I'm better at helping to surprise Dark than Daizi, I still don't know what girls like."
 
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"I'm beginning to think girls don't know what girls like either," Alec told him seriously.

"So what do you do around here when you aren't out on a job?" Xander asked, looking around curiously. "Do you do television? Read? Bowl?"

"Bowl?" Alec repeated in confusion.

Xander shrugged. "He's got the space for it if he wanted to build an outdoor bowling alley."

"Okay, but, why?"

"I dunno. Just seemed like something he'd like. It's more realistic than obsessing over chickens."

"You make no sense."

"You make no sense!"
 
"Nah, girls know. It's just, like, the mistake is thinking all girls want the same thing, you know? 'Cause they're not a hivemind. And that's why Tarot's so great, right? But like, even though I'm pretty sure that if she could see, she would be able to kick all our asses, from what Dark says she still really likes kind and romantic gestures, and I ain't built for being soft and sweet like that. He is, so basically everytime 'we're' planning what to do for her, it's just us sitting out on those rocking chairs on the porch while he lists of grand ideas and I help him be more realistic. Dude loves his wife. Not that it stopped him from proposing to her in a café on his lunch break, I really expected a lot more from him. Welp." He slapped his thighs and stood with a grunt, "Pointless to stay inside all day."

Leading the twins back outside, Cooger said, "I do watch a lotta TV. Go walking a lot, got all these forest trails. Sometimes I go hunting, or just shoot bottles and cans off my porch. Or I'll go out on my boat and fish, or sit on my dock and fish. I've been trying to teach myself how to play the harmonica, 'cause I figure if I'm ever on a roadtrip somewhere and the car breaks down, it'd be really funny. Sometimes I'll just sit in my rocking chair, smoke some," He glanced at the twins and squinted, unsure of what he was allowed to mention to them, "...alternative cigarettes, and just watch the sunset. Oh, I've got some brownies inside--do not eat 'em."
 
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Alec and Xander squinted at him speculatively for a moment before Xander said, "As long as the government doesn't come banging down your door because of a special garden patch you've got growing, we're good."

Alec nodded and stepped down off the porch. "This place is lovely. I think I could get used to this." He paused and frowned. "Except for nighttime. That's when the monsters come out, and I'd rather be with other people than alone."

"What's fishing like?" Xander asked, walking in the general direction of the lake just to move. "I've never been fishing. Never used to like fish, but I guess it's just how you cook it. Do you just... dangle a string in the water with a hook at one end or something? Scoop with a net?"
 
"That's why I've got night cams," Cooger told Alec, "at least then if the monsters come out, I've got 'em on tape. But I don't really have a choice but to live alone, never met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I'm an only child, and I've got no interest in being a dad, so." He shrugged, "I live alone. And it's not so bad once you get used to it."

He followed Xander down to the lake, which sparkled blue under the July sun. His dock was built out over it, with his boat already in the water, "That's the basics of it, yeah. We can give it a go, if you like. Just gotta have your pole in the water with a good enough bait and some patience. I like fishing but I'm not one of those people who obsess over it, so I never bothered learning the complicated ins and outs of it all."
 
"You'd make a good dad if you ever changed your mind," Alec said, "but I can see how it wouldn't appeal to everyone, that's for certain." He walked over and peered into the lake. "Are there really fish in here?"

Xander laid flat on his stomach on the dock and reached down, touching the water. "Yeah, there's one right there!" He watched intently for a little bit. "There's another one! And another- wait, no, that's the first one again. You could just about scoop them out right here." He reached down experimentally, and the fish darted away. He wasn't bothered and shook off his hand, still leaning over.

Alec spotted something interesting farther along the bank and wandered off, leaving Xander to chase the fish with his hand while he went to investigate the shoreline. He had zero interest in fishing, but he'd go along with it if Xander wanted to give it a try. He didn't like the idea of a fish flopping around at the end of a line, and they looked incredibly slimy.
 
"Nah, I'm good for a fun time, but I can't keep my temper like Dark can. I'm not violent or nothing, but," he looked at Xander, and without mentioning the argument with any great specificity, said, "I would've yelled right back at you. That's why I make such a good uncle, I don't have any real responsibility besides making sure you don't die, so if you get into trouble I can just call Dark and Tarot and let them deal with it. Don't have to worry about the pressure of it."

Cooger crossed his arms, looking over the lake, "I can go get the rods if you'd like to try. Hey Alec," he turned his head towards the other twin, "Do you want to feed the turtle mafia?"
 
Xander paused, a bit of the fun taken out when Cooger mentioned the fight, however indirectly. He didn't blame Cooger. It just hurt, like poking a bruise. He reached down and splashed the water a bit. "Yeah. I think it sounds like fun," he agreed quietly. "Fishing looks weird."

Alec looked up from where he was dipping his toes in the water cautiously. "Turtle mafia?" he repeated curiously. "You have turtles?"

Xander sat up on the deck. "Dude, you'd better mind your toes! Turtles bite."

Alec quickly scrambled back from the water and grabbed his previously abandoned shoe like it was a shield.
 
"Wild box turtles. I feed 'em while I drink coffee in the morning, but turtles are dumb so they think anytime I come out here they get fed and come circling." He pointed out a tiny head popping out of the water, "There, see? Gotta pay our dues."

He strode off the dock and came back a bit later with two fishing poles tucked under his arm, his tackle box, and a bottle of turtle pellets which he tossed towards Alec. Back on the dock, he handed a pole to Xander and sat down on the edge of it, talking Xander through all the steps of how to fish, "We'll just throw back the fish if we catch any today, probably. I got steaks for dinner."
 
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Alec fumbled with the turtle food and nearly dropped it but recovered at the last second. He gave himself a little nod of satisfaction and stood behind Cooger and Xander. He took the pellets out one at a time, meticulously picking them up and tossing them at the turtles. As the turtles ate the piece he tossed out, he would prepare another and toss it out. Their rubbery-looking necks and skull-like armored heads bobbing around in the water amused him, and he eventually sat on the edge and tried to coax them closer by tossing the pellets close to him rather than out where they were.

Xander focused on Cooger's teachings, trying to get it right. As he cautiously tossed out the fishing line, his mind drew a strange connection. Declan with the pair of them versus Cooger with the pair of them. Cooger didn't seem that much more knowledgeable about kids in general, though he had gotten a chance to know Alec and Xander decently, but when given a situation where one of them wanted to do something and the other didn't, Cooger didn't leave the one who didn't want to do it out. Instead, he offered up something else without prompting. He didn't try to force them to be together and do the exact same things, and he didn't seem to mind that Alec was obviously reluctant to fish. It was a standing offer, not a forced thing, and they were still there enjoying the lake together. It was a strange and glaring comparison. Xander shot Cooger a covert glance, studying him.
 
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