How Green Becomes Wood

"Thank you," Daizi said, ducking as she was told, and pulling Ivy into her lap.

Dark glanced at Lex, "I was going to before Toby stepped in. My sons blame him, but he helped them as well as her."
 
The twins shot good-natured insults at Toby as they squirted their guns at him. Toby returned in kind, both in word and water. Unfortunately, the drips from Toby's gun and some of the twins' shots still managed shower Daizi with a light misting.

"I'm sure they did," Lex agreed. When Dark had moved to watch the twins and Daizi, he'd moved a little bit in front of Lex, and they had a casual distance between them already. Lex eyed Dark speculatively, weighing the consequences thoughtfully. Then she took a step back, pulled out her water gun, and, thanks to their moderately close proximity, managed a perfect shot to the back of his neck between his hat and his collar.
 
Feeling the water hit the back of his neck, Dark took out his water pistol, turned just enough to see Lex, and without any hesitation, shot her in the stomach. Without another word, he turned away again and replaced his gun in his jacket pocket.

Mentally, he was cursing his best friend for introducing this to the party. He had put much, much too much work into his outfit to feel much compulsion to get it wet. Likewise, the effort everyone put in was also why Dark did not shoot Lex in the face. Although it may have not seemed like it with the methodical coldness with which he had shot her, he had shown mercy, just this once.
 
"Oof, a gut shot? Really?" Lex said, looking at the wet spot on her shirt. "That's not great, I gotta say. At least you got the fast death. Oh well. Points for me, points for you. Where's the birthday boy?"
 
"I did not want to ruin your makeup," Dark replied, smoothing his vest, "and anyway, I have not received military training since I was a child. I am out of practice." Then he gestured his chin towards Cooger, who was leaning against the railing and drinking a root beer---the most western of drinks---and chatting with a few other guests, and said, "He is holding court."
 
"I've never actually wielded a gun. Blunt instruments and knives were my thing," Lex said, shielding her eyes to see. "So he is. I have half a mind to break up his court with my newfound power and weaponry," she held up her gun, "but he looks pretty happy there."
 
"I am aware of your penchant for blunt-force trauma." Dark replied dryly, looking back over to Cooger, "Aiming for the Sheriff may not turn out well for you. Do as thou wilt, but I cannot protect you from the outcome."
 
"Protect me?" Lex snorted. "I thought you might want to join me! I might not be Annie Oakley, after all. I might be..." She paused and frowned, trying to remember. After a moment, she reached into her skirt's generous pockets and pulled out her notebook. After flipping through a couple of pages, she smiled triumphantly. "Belle Star the Outlaw!" She put away her notebook. "You're a snake oil salesman, after all. You can't have a great reputation with the Sheriff. Why not set up a distraction on your soapbox, and I'll do the dirty deed?"
 
"My dear, if I were to join you, it would direct attention towards me I do not need. My business only thrives when the law looks the other way." Dark said, turning to look Lex over, sizing her up, "If I were to assist you with a distraction, what would be in it for me?"
 
Lex tipped her head and squinted at him. "How do you feel about homemade salsa? I have mild, hot, and melt your mouth. My brother in law makes them. I can give you salsa and the promise of future cooperation in a stunt, should you need it."
 
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"It's more compelling than offering cookies or sweets, ain't it?" Lex asked with a wink. "And it gets you different veggies for health reasons. Hummus is great, but doesn't the occasional variety help you remember how much and why you like hummus."
 
Lex laughed. "Someone's never had decent salsa, but alright. I don't really have much else to offer. How about some new drawer handles for your kitchen? Or wherever else you might need drawer handles. Specialty made, and I can do a lot of different shapes.
 
"True, but do you have enough gothic whimsy in all of your handles?" Lex asked with a smirk. "Or handles with labels etched into them? Or how about nails for your wood project? Or do you need your tools sharpened?"
 
Dark thought about this and then named a number which was reasonable, but favourable to him, and he made a point to clarify the size of nails he would prefer, since not all were the same. Of course, the number he named was higher than the amount he would truly be satisfied with.
 
Lex came back with a lower number that was just a little bleow the number Dark had in mind, guessing the number he actually wanted. "And I'll throw in a promise to be your future partner in crime if you ever need one. Have we got a deal?" She held out her hand.
 
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