How Green Becomes Wood

"Do you want to hear about the time he stripped off all his clothes and started running away right there at the zoo?" Russ asked with a little laugh.

"Or how he kept trying to climb up the counters?" Abbey added, grinning, "Or when we visited Russ' office and he called his boss a moron?"

Cooger, by this point, had been trying to follow after Lex, but kept finding himself in conversations with his other guests. He happened to look over at his parents and Lex, and seeing the look on their faces, was suddenly filled with great fear. They were getting along much too well.
 
"No way, did he?" Lex grinned, her eyes gleaming. "Sounds like a wild boy! I guess he wanted to join the animals in the zoo. That must have been so cute to see. But how did he survive calling your boss a moron?"
 
"He was something," Abbey sighed nostalgically, "I mean, we were both busy, so he was with a nanny a lot of the time during the work day---not that we were ever neglectful, one of us always made sure to be there in the evenings, even if sometimes one of us had to work late---but every moment with him was just so fun. And so much to handle."

"God, remember when he ate that worm," Russ rubbed his hands over his face, "And the time he ate the spider."

"And another worm," Abbey sighed, "But with Russ' boss, well, the man was a..." she eyed Ivy, sleeping though she was, "a jerk, and Russ would come home complaining about him. And would regularly call him a moron. So on a day I have off, I take him to go visit Daddy, and his boss comes in to meet him. Jasper was like... two, at this point, maybe two and a half, and Russ goes, 'Jasper, this is my boss, Brian.'"

"And Jasper looks at him and says, 'You're a moron,' and, he started to say a word that was likely to be 'Daddy,' and out of fear he would share he learned the word from me, I took a bit of chocolate off my desk and more or less shoved it into the kid's mouth while making up some bullshit about where he learned the word," Russ finished, "Luckily, Brian found it funny, and as far as I'm aware, didn't put together the true story."
 
Dark leaned very closely in towards his sleeping daughter, and near her ear whispered, "Tifla, Baba knows you are sleeping... it is very important the stories Jiddo Russ and Bibi do not inspire you," before smoothing her hair and kissing her on the head, "Do not be like your Uncle when he was a little baby."

"I'd tell him he's why I was going bald," Russ chuckled, "Well, I did, I thought it was playful, but then one day he got into trouble, and I caught him, and he started crying and saying he didn't want to make me lose more hair and he was sorry. We had a big long talk after that."

"Come over to the house sometime, Lex, I'll show you the scrapbooks," Abbey promised.
 
"Aw!" Lex cooed. "That's so sweet! Poor guy. I'm glad you set him straight. And I'd love to come see the scrapbooks. I never kept a scrapbook, but I wish I had. I think my mother might have. I should ask her next time I call her."
 
Finally, Cooger came up to them, feeling like he was drenched in sweat, "Hey!" He said, smoothing his beard with one hand, "What are we talking about over here?"

"You," Daizi grinned.

"Oh," Cooger replied, "Oh no?"

"Yeah," She said, more than willing to break the news.

He looked at his mother, "Please tell me you did not mention the zoo."

"We did," His mother admitted willingly, "and at mentioned the worms."

"Mom!"

Russ shrugged, "The lady asked."
 
"It's good to know my cooking won't be the worst thing you'll ever eat," Lex said cheerfully. "Also, I need to be careful when introducing you to clients I might not like much."
 
"Are you not a good cook?" Russ asked, "That might be the first bad thing I've heard about you."

"That's sexist," Abbey chided.

Russ shrugged, "Maybe it would be if Cooger wasn't so passionate about food. And I don't mean that in the, uh.... What's it, the bodyshaming way people are always worried about---" Cooger buried his face in his hands, feeling like he was 17 again, "---I just mean he's a foodie but he himself can't cook to save his life."

"Dad, you ask me to grill for you every time you come over," Cooger groaned.

"I have been teaching him to cook," Dark said, "He has a cookbook, now. He is doing quite well."
 
"I'd say I'm an average cook," Lex said, watching Cooger in amusement. "I have a handful of recipes I'm good at, but I'm no domestic goddess. Cooger is a pretty good cook when he puts his mind to it, I think. Especially on the grill. Dark is doing good for him." She winked at Dark.
 
Dark nodded back at her and then said, "I make sure he goes to the doctor and the dentist, also."

"Oh good," Abbey said earnestly, "I worry. So many men," she pointed to her husband, "avoid going to the doctor, and it frightens me. Our health is all we've got."

Cooger glared at Dark, missing the days when he was the responsible one, "Thanks man, very helpful."

"You are welcome. Happy Birthday."
 
Lex chuckled and nodded. "These two are very good for each other, and I gotta say, Cooger getting reminded reminds me to get my health stuff taken care of. It's so easy to think, 'I'll do it later,' and next thing you know," she snapped her fingers, "too long has gone by between dentist visits."
 
"Well, Dark, you have your fake teeth, don't you?" Russ asked, "It's no wonder he cares about it."

"I don't think we need to talk about my teeth," Dark said, waving one hand.

"I'm just glad Lex is here so I'm not managing them both by myself anymore," Daizi said brightly, loving every second of this.
 
"You're very welcome," Daizi said, shifting Ivy, who was starting to feel very heavy on her.

"We were, yes," Abbey answered, "We're both retired now, but I used to do family and property law, Russ was in corporate."

"I ran for judgeship twice," Russ sighed, "I never won the election."
 
"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Lex said and then grinned mischievously. "My dad always told me to avoid lawyers. You couldn't trust them any more than you could trust someone from New York. I like to think my old man might have been a little wrong there."
 
"You can't trust lawyers," Russ laughed, "Especially not in my area of law. Half my coworkers were like Norman Bates. I mean, hell, it's not like I ever fought for the little guy. I was at a Fortune 500 company, we once had this class action lawsuit after a data breach and it was my job to make sure the claimants didn't get the money they probably deserved. And the worst part was it was one of the best moments of my career because I love going to trial and being in a courtroom, which I didn't get to do too much, but the benefits of corporate law were too good to pass up. We were all scum." He nodded towards Dark, "Argued with him about it all the time."

"I was helping the little guy," Abbey shrugged, "I took on a lot of single-parent cases, and my workers comp cases were all helping the injured party. I definitely did some cases I'm less proud of, but while he was commuting to Wall Street, I was in the Bronx helping stay-at-home mothers leave their abusive husbands. And given my son's choice of friends, the good relationships I had formed with immigration lawyers ended up being very important."

"Where's your father from?" Russ asked.
 
"I bet that would come in very handy, and I have rubbed elbows with your peers a few times," Lex said, nodding to Abbey. To Russ, she said, "A little city with fewer than five thousand people called Highland Lakes. His family moved to the big city where he met my mom a few years later. Where did you two meet?"
 
"I don't know it," Abbey admitted.

"We met in law school," Russ said proudly, "I was drawn to her accent, which she was trying to get rid of, and she absolutely despised me."

"If you think he can be cocky now..." Abbey chuckled.
 
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