How Green Becomes Wood

Neither Dark nor Daizi said a word. They wanted to give Ciara and Xander their moment, and didn't want to sway anything with their input. Anyway, they were torn about what they would say if they could speak on it.

They knew they had both made dumb mistakes when they were around the age Ciara would have been when the twins were conceived. Daizi had run out on a wedding and cost her family thousands of dollars and broke a heart in the process. Dark had been a cheater. But both knew what Ciara did was different. Her actions, in one way or another, led to children living on the street... But it seemed evident she regretted it. Daizi, warmer than her spouse, wanted to suggest maybe Tara had tried to reach out, but just like her sister, was unsuccessful.

And they wanted to stand behind Xander, and let him know whatever he felt about what Ciara had said was valid, and that they would support him, and that he didn't need to feel any guilt for it. But it wasn't clear what Xander's reaction was, yet. They didn't want to sway him, and they didn't want to rush him.

So beneath the table, they found each other's hand, and held it tight while they waited. Dark looked over at the twins and Daizi only listened, her head tilted slightly, while the smell of flowers floated on the breeze.
 
"That's not a very good excuse," Xander said flatly.

"Most excuses aren't," Ciara agreed mildly.

"And because you didn't want to get over yourself, we ended up with a crap life," Xander snapped.

"True," Ciara agreed calmly, "I did not, and neither did Tara."

Xander's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Coming to her family for help, for support, would have meant returning to the judging eyes of her parents and grandparents and, yes, her sister. Staying away meant she had her freedom, but it also meant you all had to suffer for it," Ciara pointed out calmly. "If I had reached out to her and she had come home, or if she had come to me, then the odds are good that what you would have been raised with instead of squaller would have been judgement. Under my parents and grandparents, you would never have felt want in any material way, but you would have never been allowed to forget that you were bastard children. So your mother made a choice. She made a choice to stay where she could make her own decisions and live in a harsh world, and I chose to allow my parents to influence how I saw things. In the end, we both made choice, we both paid for it, and so did you."

Xander's lips thinned. "So you're saying it was her fault?"

"Yes," Ciara replied without blinking, "but it was also mine. There is no changing what happened. There is no reversal of time. There is only accepting that we are imperfect people and moving forward."

"And how do you suggest we move forward?" Xander demanded.

"I would say you are doing an excellent job of it right now," Ciara replied. At his confused look, she said, "You invited me to come and allowed me to talk. You confronted me on what you felt I had done wrong, but you also listened instead of yelling me to silence. I would say it is a good start."

Xander slumped back in his seat and looked away. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?" he growled.

"Rarely," she said calmly.

Alec took a deep breath and inched forward. "Aunt Ciara?" he nearly whispered. "If this is a good start, then... where do we go from here?"

Ciara sighed. "That is an answer I do not have, but I think... if you wish for me to stay in your lives, then, yes, I will do my best to make the time to do so."

"Out of guilt?" Xander demanded.

She lifted one hand slightly almost as if in a shrug. "Guilt, duty, call it whatever you wish, I think the end result is the same. I cannot say I love you just yet, but I care enough that I am willing to give it a chance."

Alec smiled slightly. "I'm willing to, as well." He looked at Xander.

"We'll see," Xander said grudgingly.
 
"Well..." Dark said slowly, "As long as they are both willing to see how it goes... You are welcome here. Although," his eyes flicked back from the twins and settled hard on Ciara, "I do hope I do not need to caution you against making promises you cannot keep." It clearly wasn't a threat, but he was wary. They gave Declan too long a leash, and were still recovering. If similar events happened with Ciara, who could guess the immensity of the fallout? Ciara seemed infinitely more trustworthy than Declan, more settled and less likely to flee, but he was going to be protective. He just was.

Though, he quickly shifted out of the mood and settled back into his chair, finishing the last few sips of coffee. Then, Daizi put her hand on his arm, and he sighed.
 
"I understand completely," Ciara said in a tone that hinted she really did understand exactly what Dark meant. If not the nuances, then definitely the broader spectrum.

"Good," Alec said in satisfaction. He glanced at Xander. "So... if the rough stuff is out of the way... we told you what our hobbies are, what are yours?"

Ciara's brows arched at the sudden change in topic. "I am afraid I do not have much time for hobbies. Most of my life is dedicated to my work. When I do find some spare time, I enjoy reading a good book, and occasionally I torture myself with crafting attempts such as knitting."
 
Dark nodded at Ciara's response, apparently satisfied. Daizi grinned and sat up a bit straighter, "If you like torturing yourself with crafting, you should see Dark's life work. He dedicates all his spare time to it, I've hardly gotten to be around him all summer because he spends all day locked up in his shed." She nodded towards it.

"That is not true," He replied, "whenever you are home you are in the garden, and I sit outside to work. And I have a strict deadline."

"Yeah, Goose, you keep saying that, but your deadlines are entirely self-imposed." Apparently, she had not begun to suspect what he actually had been focused on all summer.
 
"And you should see the entire garden. It's beautiful!" Alec told her.

Ciara consulted the slim, gold watch on her wrist. "I have time for a garden tour, I suppose, but I should be leaving within the half hour."

"Half an hour is plenty of time," Alec assured her, scrambling to his feet. "Come this way. I'll show you all the ones I can name."

Ciara stood and followed Alec, stepping carefully in her heels. She seemed somewhat bemused but willing.

Xander stood and started clearing off the table. The cake should go in before it melted, he figured.
 
"Oh, don't worry," Daizi said, rising to follow them, "The garden is large, but not that large. I planted almost everything myself, and until the twins came along, I more or less cared for it all, too, except for after--For when I was ill. Then Dark, and our good friend Cooger, took care of it, since I couldn't. My apple tree and my roses are my favourite, but the tree is too young to bear fruit. It's a fragile little thing, we hope it survives. I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't..." She hummed slightly, "The oak tree was here when we moved in, and we won't do anything to it. Except, maybe a tree house, one day. And I'm very attached to our climbing ivy..."

Dark stayed behind to help Xander clear the table, and after a few moments, he said, "It was good of you, to ask those questions. I am glad that you did."
 
"This is an extensive project," Ciara said admiringly. "I rather wish I had your green thumb. I have a few houseplants I look after, but I do not think I could handle anything like this."

"She is really amazing, and there are berry bushes," Alec told her, pointing.

Xander shrugged and balanced the plates in a pile. "Yeah, well, it might take me a couple of times to learn something, but I'm not a complete idiot." He glanced at his brother. "I just wish I could figure what's up with Alec. He seems to think she's some kind of magic tome to our mother or something."
 
"I needed something to care for," Daizi replied, a hint of melancholy in her voice, "The red roses are thirteen years old. And inside we have our dog, our rats, and my darling tarantula Neith. But the rats are old, they only live two or three years. And our house is a bit more crowded than it used to be, and increasingly so," She lay a gentle, loving hand on her middle. The movement was habitual, not done for emphasis, "and I like flowers. I can't see their colours, but the rest I can understand as well as anyone. Do you know," She grinned slightly, "when Xander met me, he didn't recognize I'm blind? Alec needed to point it out. Or was it the other way around? I'm sorry, I've been forgetful lately."

"I know you are not. I knew it before you did, I think," Dark teased, looking only at Xander, "but I think... With him... It is normal to want some link, some way to get answers. I would be similar, I think, if I had a relative show up. It is bothersome I have no one. Does Ciara look very much like your mother?"
 
"I had to tell him," Alec said with a grin. "He's more of the big picture type, and I'm the detail-oriented one."

"I can see that," Ciara agreed. "It is good to have both in this world, but it can be difficult to be both. Oh, my, this is a lovely flower. It smells wonderful."

Xander shrugged, sneaking a glance at Ciara. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, not like twin identical, but real similar in the face structure and the eyes. The hair is the same color, too, but Aunt Ciara's a bit more, you know, soft in the body. Our mum was always skinny as a rail. But I guess if you stood them up side by side, they'd look like sisters."
 
"Dark is better with details than I am, but that's not really my fault. I have to engage in the world with in big shapes and broad strokes... And he's an artist, anyway. But then again, I notice details sighted people miss, and I like to think I've got good insight into people, because I have to trust strangers so much more than most people..." She breathed in the scent of the flowers, "I'm glad you like my garden, Ciara. I think it's one of the most peaceful places in the world. And Dark likes it, because we can't really see the neighbors back here, he said. And it's fenced in, so it's safe to let Enkidu out, and this one, when it's time for that."

"So that could be why. Or part of why. It's not exactly like looking at your mother again, but it's the closest you have. It might be nice," For him. When Xander made his comment about their mother's thinness, Dark looked up at Daizi. She had always been slender, and even now, from behind, she didn't look pregnant at all. Because of everyone going on today, they didn't have the time to acknowledge it, but she was 24 weeks, today. At 24 weeks the fetus was viable... They were actually going to have that baby. They really were.
 
"Have you chosen a name yet?" Ciara asked politely because that was the thing most people asked. She paused to look at the roses, reaching out to delicately cup one of the blossoms and sniff it.

"They won't tell anyone," Alec told her. "They've picked one, but it's not for anyone to know."

"Ah. That must have made it quite difficult for anyone who wished to personalize their gifts at the shower," Ciara said, sounding amused.

Xander grunted and shot a glance at Ciara. Was it nice? Or was it just going to cause more pain? He hoped the first one but fully expected the second.
 
"I don't know if we're going to have a shower," Daizi said lightly, "we haven't really spoken much about it. It's simple enough to say it's not been an exactly easy rode getting here, so we're sort of behind on everything, and also I feel like every baby shower is so... soft and quaint, and they all have really weird and uncomfortable games like melting chocolate bars into diapers and guessing the mother's size... And none of that is really something either of us would enjoy... Plus so many seem to neglect the father, and he's just as excited as I am. Anyway, if we do wait to reveal her name, then if we decide we want or need to change it, nobody is going to have to scramble to fix whatever personalized item they have."

Dark looked again at Xander, "You are too much like me. Optimists lead happier lives, you know."
 
"I've never cared much for showers, myself," Ciara said with a little sigh. "They always seemed so... childish and undignified. However, if you desire a shower, than you most certainly should have one, one designed to your tastes, of course, but if you do not want one, then there is certainly no reason why you should feel it is an obligation to fulfill." She checked her watch. "I should be going."

"They also walk head-first into a lot more preventable pain and disappointment," Xander pointed out.
 
"We need to talk about it. We never thought we'd get this far, to be honest..." She sighed, giving a few loving taps to the baby, "Right, you do live a long way. I'll walk you to the door, and I'm sure we'll pick up a veritable parade while we head that way."

"No, I agree with you," Dark said, "I have never really understood optimists either. Daizi tends that way, and I am still confused by it. But whay I will say, Xander, is that I have needed to sort of... force myself into that mindset, for her sake and I think for mine, while we try to prepare for this baby, and I think it makes difficult situations easier to cope with if you can believe, even slightly, it may actually turn out well."
 
"Thank you so much for coming, Aunt Ciara, it was really good of you," Alec said as he walked on her other side toward the door. "I hope you can come again sometime. Perhaps to a carnival!"

"A... carnival?" Ciara repeated, looking less than thrilled at the idea. "I suppose that is a possibility."

Xander glanced at Dark and gave a slight shrug. Perhaps he was right. He was probably right. He didn't really want to think about it right now, though, because Ciara, Daizi, and Alec were heading their way. "Party time over?"
 
"Oh, they're Dark's favourite. We went on Saturday, I think they're all still in that mindset. This one, too, he was able to feel her kick for the first time at the top of the Ferris Wheel." Daizi explained, "But it is very nice that you came today. Like Dark said, you're always welcome. He doesn't exactly love guests, but he loves getting to show off, and our house had been mostly empty for a really long time. It's nice to have that remedied."

"It seems that way," Dark responded in an undertone, and then more broadly towards the group, "Are you leaving so soon?"

"Well, she lives so far away!"
 
"I can understand that mindset," Ciara agreed to Daizi. To Dark, she responded, "Yes, I am afraid I have to leave now. I look forward to our next meeting."

"You should take some cake with you!" Alec urged.

"Oh, no, thank you. I appreciate it, but I would not be able to eat it until it spoiled. You keep it and enjoy," Ciara told him.

Xander opened the door for her, and she almost stepped inside with her shoes but caught herself just in time. Awkwardly, she slipped out of her heels and minced cautiously across the floor toward the front door. She paused there and opened her purse.

"I almost forgot to give this to you," she commented, pulling out a small, square object wrapped in gift wrapping. The wrapping had seen better days, but it still held together enough to hide the gift. "This was a birthday gift meant for Tara," she explained, handing it to Xander. "I held onto it, always intending to give it to her the next time I saw her." She smiled a sad little smile and turned to go. "Thank you for having me. Mr. Dark, your home is lovely. Daizi, I wish well for your pregnancy."

"Goodbye, Aunt Tara," Alec said, letting her out. "Drive safe!"
 
"You have our numbers," Dark said, while they walked to the front door, "so just let us know," and then, after the gift had been given, and Ciara was about to leave, he said, "Thank you. I dedicate a great deal of time to maintaining it."

"Thank you," Daizi said brightly, "she's very strong. I feel very confident we'll be able to hold her in our arms soon."

"But not too soon," Dark said quickly and with a slight frown. They needed time to prepare, lots of time, "I hopenyou get home safe."

After the door was closed, he sighed and loosened his tie, and Daizi wandered back into the kitchen to sit down, "What time is it? It feels very late, but I've had a long day. That felt like it went well, right? Alec, habibi, come here, I want to hug you, because I want to hug both of you, but can't. I'm so proud of you both."

"She has kept that present with her a long time..." Dark remarked, "I would guess, technically longer than both of you have been alive, if we go by your birth date and not..."
 
Alec went to Daizi and practically melted into her hug. His smile disappeared, and he let out a long sigh of relief. The tension was gone. The need to put on a brave face and proper behavior. It was safe to relax now. He said nothing as he hugged Daizi as tightly as he dared.

Xander turned the small gift over in his hands curiously. It felt like a CD case. He went to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch, leaning over the table as he unwrapped the gift as carefully as he could. The old wrapping paper fell away with ease, the tape unbinding without much trouble. It was a CD.

"Celtic Thunder?" he said, reading the front of the shiny, new case. He turned it over in his hands. "Oh. I remember. This was their first album, I think. Our mother loved them and, um, Celtic Woman. They were a show, and she always wanted..." His voice trailed off as he spotted the piece of paper taped to the back of the case. It was a concert ticket dated for shortly after when he figured Tara's family had fallen apart.
 
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