How Green Becomes Wood

"We definitely have more than we need," Amira said, setting it up and taking out the plates they had brought, "but we'll pass the extras off to the nurses and doctors. Then they'll take extra good care of Qadira, too."

"Or hopefully they'll let her go sooner," Daizi sighed.

"Ah!" Zeinab flapped her hands, refilling Daizi's cup, "That is dependent on you getting her weight up. They don't let babies go home if they're under five pounds---drink. I'll get you food." She squinted at the twins and then pointed at them, "You two, eat. You're still growing."
 
"Yes, ma'am," Xander grinned, eagerly helping himself to everything on offer. "Happily, ma'am."

Alec picked at his plate, forcing himself to eat. It was good food, he was just on edge with everything going on, which made it difficult to relax enough to properly eat. Still, he made a valiant effort to at least show his appreciation.

"How come this stuff tastes so good? I don't even know what I'm eating," Xander mumbled around bites. "I know what this is and that, but not that or that."
 
Zeinab and Neha, who were the ones who cooked the majority of it, took the compliment proudly, and explained what all of the foods were. They flitted about making sure everyone was satisfied. Dark finally pulled himself away from watching Ivy and sat beside Daizi while they ate. Her father hated seeing any physical affection between them, but Daizi couldn't resist resting her head on his shoulder, and after taking a glance to see if Saladin was watching, Dark quickly kissed the top of her head. In response, Daizi stretched up and kissed his cheek, not caring even a little bit if her father saw.

Fadia saw, and rolling her eyes muttered, "They've never changed."
 
Alec and Xander finished eating, Alec long before Xander, and they stood leaning in the corner, now thoroughly bored since all the find stuff seemed to have ended. Neither really knew how to strike up a conversation with the elders, they didn't want to talk to Saladin, and they didn't want to take up time with Daizi and Dark. Besides, they seemed lost in their own world again. So, they stood and tried to blend in with the wall and did their best to not be rude, distracting, or in the way.
 
Occasionally an aunt or Saladin had a brief conversation with the twins, because they weren't actively trying to ignore them, but the cultural barrier, in addition to the age gap, made it awkward (especially since they were all trying not to say something potentially upsetting or tricky), so for the most part, they all chatted amongst themselves. When Ivy cried, demanding to be fed, Saladin left the room, deciding he was far, far too uncomfortable being in the same room as his daughter while she breastfed.

At some point one of the aunts went to give away some of the extra food, and it came time for them all to leave for the night. Cooger had decided to go ahead and rent that minivan, to make transport easier, and he came to get everyone so Dark, Daizi, and the boys could have a little bit of time just the four of them together.
 
Alec came over to Daizi but didn't touch her in cause she'd been over-touched over the last couple of hours. "That was a lot of fun, and Ivy seemed to enjoy herself."

"She's going to grow up an actress or something with how easily she took to being the center of attention," Xander snickered, finally sitting down on the edge of a chair.
 
"She really seemed curious about it," Dark commented, lightly touching Ivy's hair. She had finished feeding and was, once again, milk-drunk and sleeping hard.

"Now she's all prepared for the sounds of daily life and capable of handling anything life throws at her," Daizi looked so proud, the way she had after the twins performed at the talent show.

"Oh, is that all it takes?" Dark asked, lightly bumping against her shoulder, "I hadn't realized."

"Yeah. That's why I'm so good under pressure. Haven't you noticed?" She laughed and Dark looked at her with that soft, soulful look he had sometimes, "I'm glad you two had fun. I hope it wasn't too alienating--I kept trying to work my way over to find you, but..." She shrugged, "The room was so crowded, I didn't trust... And I couldn't pick out your voices."
 
"It's alright, it was no worse than what we expected. Less, actually," Alec said cheerfully. "Your aunts are a lot of fun, and they did try to converse with us, but I think we're just a little too foreign for them. It was kind of them for everything they did do."

"And they cook great," Xander said bluntly.

Alec rolled his eyes but agreed, "They are good cooks."
 
Daizi nodded, pulling Ivy close, "I'm just, I'm so happy we got to do it." She swallowed, "So much hasn't gone right, but that..." She hunkered back down against Dark, "But we were able to celebrate her surviving a week like we're supposed to."

"It was a really special day." Dark murmured, but looked away. He did truly find meaning in his daughter being honoured like that, and seeing the look Daizi had on her face made it worth anything, but he still couldn't quiet lose the ache of knowing he didn't have his own people, from his own culture, to do anything like it. At least the food had some comfort, "We do the Aqiqah-- that was the meal--in Iraq too."
 
"Oh, no, I apologize," Dark said, "What the aunts made, the sheep we ate, that is what we do. Actually, you are supposed to give away some of it to the poor, and everybody knew my family had very little, so anytime someone had a baby I knew I would actually be full for once."
 
"Then we'll do something later concerning that," Alec assured him cheerfully.

Xander stretched and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. "So what happens next? Or is that it for Ivy's introduction?"
 
"That's it," Daizi said, "She's all ready now. Well. I guess what's next is we wait for her to go home. It's true what Amty Zeinab said, they don't let babies go home if they're under five pounds. And she was born at four and a half, and all babies lose weight after birth, so now we have to try to get her back up. Or I do, I guess."

"You will," Dark said, having no doubts, "I am just glad they all agreed to leave her be when she got a bit overstimulated. I did not like all that hiccuping and sneezing."

"Her sneezes are cute, though. She's adorable. And now she's 35 weeks, so we're only two weeks away from when she'd be counted as full-term. We're getting there," Making it to the week mark and having the celebration made her so much more secure and grounded, "Do you want to hold her, Alec?"

Dark glanced at Xander, "Do you think you will ever hold her? I understood why you do not, and I hope you do not take me asking as me pressuring you. But when she is older and can be swaddled so it feels less like holding a person and more like holding a rolled up blanket, do you think you would?"

"It is okay if you still wouldn't," Daizi added, running her finger down Ivy's nose.
 
"Okay, but only if you think she'd enjoy it. She's been passed around a lot the last couple of days," Alec agreed, already moving toward the designated "hold Ivy" chair. "If you think she doesn't need some personal space, I'll happily hold her."

Xander tensed. Despite Dark's assurances to the contrary, he suddenly felt put on the spot. Logically, he understood why Dark was asking and knew that what he said would likely be better than any vague answers or no answer at all, but he didn't know what to say. He really didn't know how to put into words the fact that he didn't want to touch her other than to say, "no touching me, I no touching them." Which was weird and kind of rude, he figured. He looked away and got up from the chair, slouching toward the corner again. "Well, you know, maybe, if, you know, later. When she's not over getting held," he mumbled uncomfortably.
 
He blinked mildly at Xander's initial word choice, but all he said was, "Okay. I was only curious, I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Then he shifted his attention back to Alec, "She has been held a lot, but she is sleeping now, so I do not think it will matter. But if she starts hiccuping or sneezing we will give her some alone time."

"She's too young to even recognize herself as an individual person," Daizi commented, getting up to change out of her 'nice' clothes and into something ugly but comfortable, "You can stay near us, Xander, the room is much bigger without the rest of the family crammed in it."
 
"How do you know she doesn't see herself as an individual?" Xander grumbled. "It's not like you can ask her and get an answer. She's aware enough to know who's holding her, so what makes you think she doesn't know herself?" He felt guilty as soon as he said the rather harsh words. In truth, he just felt all around guilty and uncomfortable. Holding Ivy was a sore point. He just couldn't do it, and if it was just a daily thing, like not shaking a hand or really anything more than a fist bump, he wouldn't care, but everyone seemed to see holding her as something special, for both themselves and her, and maybe even for Daizi. He felt he was letting Daizi and Dark down by not being able to do this simple thing. He felt like he was missing out. He felt like this physically tiny thing was driving a wedge. Not Ivy herself, he didn't blame her, no, his own failing and weakness. Why couldn't he just do the thing?

Alec sat quietly and took Ivy, not saying anything. He smiled down at the tiny face. He wouldn't voice it, but he felt it didn't matter if she had self-awareness or not. She should be treated like she did. It was good practice, and it reminded everyone that she was a person. Not just a baby, not an accessory or a duty or some kind of life achievement, no. She was a person who happened to be a baby now, but later she'd be a toddler. Then a preteen. Then a teen. Then a young adult. Then a full adult. He didn't know if she knew herself yet now, but she would someday, and he wanted to be ready for that day, should he see it.
 
Daizi came out of the bathroom somewhat uncomfortably, glad the door was closed so nobody saw the face she made at Xander's comment, "It's just what the books say. They describe babies this young as sort of 'floating in a sea of needs', unable to differentiate what need is coming from the outside and what is coming from the inside. I don't really understand the specifics of it---But I'd love to find out." She smiled warmly and sat down on the bed, wincing, "Obviously we still care about her newborn boundaries and are careful about her being overstimulated, but when I said she doesn't see herself as seperate, I meant that, to her what's familiar and comfortable is being in a warm, enclosed space as part of me, without being actually conscious of a 'me', and being held is as close as she can have to that."
 
Last edited:
Xander shrugged uncomfortably. "Makes sense," he said, even though he didn't really follow. He felt like he got the basic idea, but he was tired and not listening very well. Everything was just... a lot.

Alec carefully moved one hand so he could touch her hand. "Am I a safe space?" he cooed to her. "Am I a good second to your mother? Or third after your father?"
 
Ivy, still sleeping, nonetheless gripped onto Alec's finger with all her might. It was only a reflex, but it felt like more. Dark smiled, watching the pair of them. He truly did not expect Xander to want to hold her, and although he worried about how it would impact their ability to bond, he accepted it. Boundaries were important, even with a newborn. And yes, a tiny voice in his head did say, 'But this was his newborn, and she wasn't like any other one, so he should take a bigger interest in her, because she was the most fascinating, beautiful baby in all the world,' but he tried to quiet it down. That day was the first time in the week of Ivy's life he had asked Xander if he wanted to hold her--at least that he could recall. He supposed it was possible he had asked that first morning. But seeing the way Alec was bonding with Ivy was special. He saw that smile, and remembered so vividly when Alec cried on his shoulder all those months ago over not wanting this baby. And now... Well, now he had nothing to worry about between the two of them, certainly.

"The bed's surprisingly comfortable if you need to take a nap," Daizi offered, "I don't mind sitting somewhere else for a little while. It's probably good for me. And if you want to go home, you can... I just, I don't imagine you'd want to go home separately--although you can."
 
Alec lit up when Ivy grasped his finger and curled her fingers tight. His logical side said it was just a reaction, but of course he was going to claim it as an answer to his question. He was a safe place! At least for this little baby, he was safe. That meant he was a step above Saladin in Ivy's eyes. Of course, the moment the thought crossed his mind, Alec tried to stamp it out, but he couldn't help a nugget of glee at the thought.

Xander reddened, embaressed. "No, no, it's okay. I can wait. I don't mind. Sorry. Don't mean to be cranky. Um. Do you... need anything?"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top