How Green Becomes Wood

"Good idea," Dark agreed, putting his hand on Alec's shoulder, "You will do just fine, have no fear."

He led the way to the car and got in, driving to the emptiest parking lot he could find, and when they parked, he looked at Alec, "Are you ready for this?"
 
"No," Alec squeaked, clutching his seatbelt. He took a deep breath, opened the door, and got out. "But there's no time like the present. I got this. Xander believes in me. You do, too. Daizi. Enkidu, but I'm not sure he counts. He'd believe in me if was handing out pamphlets to a fake concert." He walked around to the driver's side and took a couple of deep breaths before getting in the car. "Okay." He paused. "First things first, to make it so I can reach the peddles and you won't be able to get back in the car." He started fiddling with the seat and mirror positions.
 
"That is important," Dark agreed, settling into the passenger seat. "Ivy believes in you too, she just does not know that she does." After the seats and mirrors were adjusted, Dark added, "Okay, now take some deep breaths, okay? There is nothing here to hit. Everything is okay."
 
Alec settled back in the seat and took several shaky breaths. He tried to focus on how the seat felt under him, how the bits of snow glittered in the sun, and how the car smelled like Dark and Daizi. There was so much spice! So warm and comforting. Finally, he gave Dark a nod. "I'm ready for the next step. I can do this."
 
Alec pressed the break peddle down with all his might before putting the car into drive. Cautiously, he released the break. The second the car started rolling forward, fear shot through him, and he pressed the break hard. Too fast! Too sudden! No, he could do this. He was in control. Just a little at a time. He let the break up again until the car started rolling forward. His heard pounded in his chest. His knuckles were whitening on the steering wheel. He kept his foot on the break without pressing on it. The car calmly and casually rolled forward as the slight slant of the parking lot tugged on its weight, but many grandmothers could have outpaced it when walking.
 
Not for the first time, Dark was glad to be stone faced, because it meant he didn't react at all when Alec slammed on the breaks. Instead, he just said, "It is okay. You are going great, Alec. You are doing just fine."
 
"Right, just fine, just fine," Alec warbled. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and moved his foot off the break. The car was slowing down even more and nearly stopped. He should give it some gas. He moved his foot over and hesitated, freezing up. What if he gave it gas and it wouldn't stop?! What if he killed the car by giving it too much gas? That was a thing, right? He touched the peddle. Nothing happened. He tried putting the tiniest amount of pressure. The peddle still didn't move. He pressed harder. The car jerked forward. Alec screamed in shock and reflexively stomped both feet down. Unfortunately, one foot was on the gas, and the other was on the break.
 
For a few moments, Dark said nothing, wanting to give Alec time to process what had happened. Then, very gently, he said, "It is okay if the car jerks a little bit. You are still learning how to apply the amount of pressure you need." He gestured to the parking lot, "There is nothing here to hit, not even poles. It is okay if the starts and stops are not smooth."
 
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Alec managed to get his foot off the gas and took a moment to sort out his feet. Then he tried again. The moment the car jerked, he would panic and slam on the break again. Sometimes he only hit the gas, sometimes not. He did this several times, getting jerkier and jerkier, yanking the car this way and that as he tried to sort things out, but it didn't work. Finally, heart still pounding, eyes stinging from sweat, he put the car in park and let his head thump on the steering wheel, visibly shaking as he still gripped the wheel. Such a simple thing that people did every single day, and he couldn't do it!
 
The whole time Alec attempted to drive, Dark did his best to offer advice, corrections, and comforting words, all while maintaining a calm, gentle tone, never once even slightly raising his voice--despite the mild concern something would happen to his car. But people were more important.

When Alec finally parked, Dark slowly reached over and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Hey. Good job."
 
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"No it wasn't!" Alec snapped in frustration without looking up. "That was a terrible job! Terrible!" Blinking away tears, he sat up and flung open the car door. He tried to fling himself out, but the seatbelt held him back. Angrily, he fumbled with the strap until it released him. Then he jumped out of the car and stalked across the parking lot. He had no goal, just wanted to be away from the car.
 
"Alec--" Dark began, but quieted when Alec stormed out of the car. As the teen fumbled with his seat belt, Dark unbuckled his, and soon followed him out through the parking lot.

Still maintaining the same, calm tone, he said, "This is the longest you have ever driven, and that is progress. And you did not freeze up or hit anything, which is also progress."
 
Alec started pacing in anxious, irregular circles. "I was panicking too loudly to freeze, and there's nothing to hit! Otherwise, who knows what would have happened? If there was one car or one pole in the entire parking lot, I would have rammed right into that!" He gripped his forearms tightly. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to drive. I don't want it."
 
"Alec," Dark cautioned, coming closer to him but not touching him yet, "Please remember you will not become a master over night. It takes time and effort. You did not do perfectly, but you did better than last time. If you want to go home we can, but you did do better than before."
 
"Okay." Alec agreed miserably. He followed Dark back to the car, but he'd already made up his mind: He was not driving again if he could help it. That feeling of helplessness, of uncontrolled strength, of powerlessness to control things, he hated it with every fiber of his being!
 
"I know it is frustrating..." He said softly, squeezing Alec's shoulder, "But trust me, this is an improvement. Little improvements are still improvements, albuma. What would you tell Xander if the first time he attempted to paint something, he could not manage to go beyond a beginning sketch, the second time he ripped it up, and the third time he made a finished painting--even if the painting was not lovely?"
 
"Painting can't potentially kill somebody," Alec mumbled sulkily, staring at the window without seeing through it. "Little improvements are how you learn to paint. Big improvements are needed for things like cars and not dying."
 
"That is why we went to a place where nobody can get hurt, yes?" Dark asked, first trying to get into the car, then quickly realizing that was impossible, reaching in and pushing the seat back, "Nobody got hurt. I am not going to tell you it is wrong to be terrified, because you are right, a car accident can be world ending. And I think this is a bigger improvement than you think it is."
 
Alec gave a cautious glance toward Dark. Did he really believe what he said? Yes, he really seemed to believe it. Maybe it was an improvement, but it didn't feel like one. It felt like a failure. He looked down at his lap. Maybe, just maybe, he could figure this out someday. But not right now. "Okay," he said in a small voice, "but... can I please wait to take driver's ed? If that's possible? Or do something else? I don't want to learn how to drive like that."
 
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