How Green Becomes Wood

"Oh, you do not like colour?" Dark asked, turning very slowly and methodically towards Alec. "Perhaps you are all right, then. I have some paint in my shed, I would be glad to fetch it so I may paint over the garish rainbow in your bedroom."
 
Alec's eye twitched, but he stayed in character. "Excellent idea! I was thinking perhaps eggshell white? Or perhaps a lovely marshmallow would be so lovely."

"Bring a lot of light into the place," Xander agreed.
 
"I will go see what I have." Dark replied, standing as tall as ever, and he began walking to his shed, "You are welcome to collect your brightly colored clothing, I would be glad to donate them for you."
 
As Dark was just about to step outside, Daizi walked up to him and said, "Oh, darling, I was thinking of beginning to veil everyday again. My father was right after all, I think, it does set a good example if I commit to modesty. And I decided, to help support us when I'm no longer working, I'll start selling HerbaLife on the side."

She grinned, trying to distract him from this game of chicken for Alec's sake, "If that's okay with you, dear. You're the head of the household, after all."

Dark squinted at her and then took a deep breath, lay Ivy down in her downstairs crib, and then without another word, swiftly lifted Daizi off the ground and slung her over his shoulder. As she couldn't help but shriek and laugh from surprise, he said, "Seeing as you, clearly, are impersonating my wife, I am taking you outside."
 
"How improper!" Xander huffed, fighting down a smirk.

"Highly! Highly!" Alec agreed, choking on a laugh he couldn't fully keep down. "That is most certainly not how a man and a woman should behave together!" He scampered out of the way, giggling behind his hand.
 
Unabls to keep from laughing, Daizi lightly pounded on Dark's back with her fists as 'protest,' "How uncivilized! Unhand me at once!" She bit back a comment about the only times it was acceptable for a woman like her to be handled in such a manner, for the sake of the twins, and instead called, "Help! Help!"

Dark walked to the back door, opening it with his free hand, "My true wife will be glad to know I tossed out the imposter," he said, and promptly set her outside on the deck. There was a heavy pause as they realized that whoever made it inside first would lock the other one out of the house, and there were no other options.
 
Alec and Xander glanced at each other as they also realized the implications. Both were standing inside the house close to the door, though they had moved back to keep out of they way of Dark and Daizi's play. Xander raised a brow. Alec gave a sly smile and nodded. Both bolted for the door with the intent of closing it and locking out their foster parents.
 
Being blind, Daizi had no idea what the twins were up to, her only objective was to beat her husband to the door. Dark, however, saw that look in their eyes, and knew exactly what they were going to do, and knew also that they were closer to the door than he was. Even sprinting, he wouldn't be able to make it in time, which didn't stop him from trying. When he got there a moment too late, he stopped, looked Xander in his eyes, and immediately dashed off the deck, heading towards the gate that would let him into the front yard, hoping to get through to the front door before the twins could lock him out of that door, too.
 
Alec locked the door with Xander a step behind. He grinned in triumph, a grin which dissolved into puzzlement when Dark dashed off. Xander caught on first and sprinted for the front door, putting every bit of steam he had into the run. He must get there first! The product in his hair gave up, letting his hair spring up into a wild froth as he ran.
 
This time, because of Xander's delayed reaction in figuring out Dark's plan, he was able to get inside, all but jumping over the fence to make it to the front door. He got in just as Xander was getting to the door, and slid inside, not even fully opening the door. Quickly touching the salt, and panting slightly, he said, "It is rather improper locking your father outside, is it not?"
 
"Less improper than locking your mother out," Xander smirked. "Maybe I should have moved the salt instead. Then you'd really be stuck."

Alec still stood by the backdoor, cackling and very glad no one had gotten smacked by a door. "So... should I let the other parental figure in?"
 
Alec plastered himself against the door and nearly yelled, "The master of the house wants to know if you will behave. Do you promise to behave?"

Xander pondered that question. "Wouldn't the correct answer from the real Daizi be to refuse?"
 
"It's a catch-22," Dark agreed mildly, walking to the living room and picking up Ivy again.

"If he can't be a gentlemen," Daizi huffed with mock exasperation, but her crooked-grin broke through her ill-disguise of anger, "I won't promise to be a lady." Like Xander, the frenzy knocked her hair out of place, and now it fell loose and wild around her shoulders.

"You may let her in."
 
"Yes?" Dark asked, "I find it interesting you should say that, but certainly as a future Mathlete, you are an expert in 'normal.'"

"What would you have done if I had decided to become normal?" Daizi asked, walking up to him.

"You never would have lasted."

"If I had?"

"Then I would have had to corrupt you."

A faint blush spread across her face. He swallowed. Neither had meant for the conversation to take that tone.

"I am going to change her out of this horrible thing," Dark said, walking towards the stairs, "and probably burn it after."

"Oh, Cooger is upstairs," Daizi said quickly, remembering him.

"What?"

"In our bedroom. He came over but he didn't want to ruin the prank."
 
The twins glanced at each other. This conversation has taken a very strange turn. Time to not think about things. Instead, they dashed for the stairs, beating Dark to the stairs and heading up.

"Time to go back to normal!" Alec said happily. "That wasn't so bad."

"Says the guy who had a meltdown," Xander pointed out, following him up the stairs.

"I did not! It was just... shocking."

"Did too." Xander glanced behind him toward Dark. "Just ask Cooger."
 
Hearing this little comment, Dark went to his bedroom with Ivy rather than getting her out of the atrocious onesie first. "What did Alec do?"

"Oh," Cooger laughed, getting up off the vanity table stool, because there was absolutely no way he was sitting on the bed Daizi gave birth in, and even the chaise lounge they had seemed too suspect, "the lil' Sage went running out of the house, screaming his damn head off, convinced they had been cursed. Lex dashed out of the house with a plank of wood ready to beat someone to death."

"You were over there again?" Dark asked, turning his head slightly to the side.

"Yeah."

"Interesting."

Cooger frowned, following him out of the bedroom, "What?"

"You visit often, that is all," Dark commented, walking to the nursery.

"She's my client," He replied, "Her house needs a lot of work."
 
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Once the twins had changed into their more normal attire - with Alec deliberately choosing his loudest clothes - they headed back downstairs where they both went sniffing around the soup, both in hopes of getting more. It was the most special soup in the world! They had to make certain everyone got some, but they wanted more!
 
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