How Green Becomes Wood

"Because I drive you to school, because I am going to the same place, and I need space to put you. And I will do the same with her." He could not understand why this was confusing for Xander, "so the only place I really go alone is to Cooger's, and it is not like I will not also be taking the baby there once she's weaned, and I am not putting her on the back of a bike like that. I would never use it--because I will always be transporting at least one of you, or groceries for five people."

Daizi answered the phone rapidly, after only about a ring or two, "Alec? Is everything okay? What's going on?" She was expecting a phonecall, but not expecting Alec to be the one to make the call.
 
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Xander frowned at Dark. "Ever think that maybe you need to start branching out more and finding places to go by yourself?" he pointed out. "Even me and Alec go places by ourselves sometimes. Okay, rarely, but that's different. You need to be like your own person and stuff, not an..." He turned to Alec. "What's that word for arms and stuff? Oh, right." He turned to Dark and finished, "Apendage. And chauffeur."

Alec ignored Xander's question. "Xander and the Professor are arguing about the benefits of getting a motorcycle, so I thought I'd call," he said cheerfully. "Everything is fine. We just finished up, and we have a surprise for you!"
 
"I am not an appendage," Dark replied, "I do plenty of things without either Daizi or Cooger: I work out alone, unless I am taking Enkidu with me, I spend hours alone in my shed crafting, and I will go to specific stores and places alone, but I am going to have a baby, and when she is able to be separated from her mother, why would I not want to take her places with me? What am I going to do, tell her, 'oh no goodbye baby, Baba is leaving you because he would rather be alone?' And if I go hiking alone, I still take Enkidu because he needs a lot of exercise, and he also cannot fit on a motorcyle. It just is not practical. If anything the baby is an appendage, but you would not cut off your arm because it would be more comfortable without it when lying on your side."

Daizi chuckled, "I miss when Dark had a motorcycle, it felt really cool riding behind him. But tell Xander they're dangerous," She sighed, and more seriously said, "I'm glad everything is fine. You didn't have to get me anything... How was he? Declan, I mean. Was he nice? Did he treat you well?"
 
Xander studied Dark seriously. "You really don't get what it means to have alone time, do you? Unless you are out in your shed making stuff. Are you going to take the baby out there so it can eat sawdust? Or better yet, why not move your stuff into the living room so that we can be around you all the time at all hours? Seriously, Professor, if mothers get to have me time, dad's should, too. It just stands to reason."

Alec moved the phone away long enough to say, "Daizi thinks you should get one, but Xander needs to know they are dangerous." Then he returned to his conversation with Daizi. "I am not sure of him yet," he said slowly. "He did treat us nicely, but he doesn't have any idea what he should actually be doing. I don't think he's hung out with anyone younger than him maybe ever before. He doesn't like the pro- I mean, Dark."
 
"No I am not bringing her into the shed, but I also do not need a motorcycle to ride into the shed, which is what this is all about. I spend plenty of time alone, but I prefer to be alone when I am within the home, not out in the world. It is not like Daizi and I spend every second of the day together, we have days where we only really talk at meals. Most of the places I visit alone are places Daizi can't enjoy, but since I like them, why should I not bring the baby with me so she can experience them too?" Dark argued back. He enjoyed going to aquariums alone, but it wasn't like he was going to look at his future-toddler and not take her to see the fish. When Alec interjected with Daizi's opinion, Dark spoke--in Arabic--loud enough that she would be able to hear him through the phone, "You just want me to have a motorcycle because you think they are hot!"

She did, of course, hear this and it made her cackle, because really he wasn't wrong. Then she settled herself again and said, "It's okay to not be sure of him yet... It's good that he's nice, but... I suppose, if I'm giving him a fair chance, he doesn't know what his role in your life is supposed to be. It's hard to come in and be a dad after letting you down for fifteen years, especially when you already have someone who is, in his own way, filling that role. And when he decided to make the slightest twinge of an effort, he probably developed a picture in his head about the people you'd be, and he probably had a vision of a little him, which--you are not," She had to catch herself, because she had nearly said, 'thankfully,' but she was doing her best not to speak down on Declan too much, "And nobody likes Dark. I mean, good people do, real, genuine people do, but it is hard to find people who can look past Dark's... aura, and into his soul. People who can like him a lot, people who can't, hate him. Nobody is neutral on him."
 
Xander facepalmed. "You are just..." He gestured toward the car. "Can we go now, or do you want to stay around in the parking lot arguing about this until someone calls the cops on us for loitering?" He turned and checked to see if it was unlocked.

"That must be hard to be two sides of a coin to people with no middle ground," Alec mused. "And I suppose it makes sense about Declan. It's hard not to try to create an image or an expectation of something to come. I just wish things were a little more clear-cut even though I know they can't be." He saw Xander turning toward the car and said, "Oh, it looks like the motorcycle conversation is coming to an end. I should go. Bye, Daizi! See you after work!"
 
"No, we can go, I was just saying," He shrugged, and then chuckled quietly, seeing how absurd the whole debate was. He couldn't imagine Xander could really understand, anyway, since Dark had spent so many years wanting a baby, he wanted to, when he had one, spend lots of time with her and take her on trips, and have that close, dedicated father-daughter time. Of course, just as Daizi was naïve enough to earnestly believe the baby kicks wouldn't get annoying, Dark couldn't imagine ever getting tired of spending time with the kid. Getting into the car, he lightly added, "When Tarot wants to be alone with her, then I will have time entirely to myself."

Daizi sighed sweetly, "Nothing in Dark's life has ever been easy, but I think he's made his peace with it, and he's found his people..." She lingered on the thought for a little while, and then taking a breath said, "I understand how you feel. He does too. Very often over these last few days, we have talked about how it would be so much easier if we just knew the end, because at least then we would know how to act. But, it's like what Gandalf said, you know? Even the wisest cannot see all ends. Get home safe, I--'ll talk to you more at home."
 
Alec hung up and scrambled into the car after Xander. "Daizi will see us at home after work." He frowned. "I forgot to ask her how her day was going. Should I call her back?"

"No, you should call her back," Xander grumbled, leaning back in his seat. "She does have things to do, you know, and taking non-emergency personal calls at work is not one of them."

Alec glanced at his brother, realizing his sour mood, and quietly tucked his phone into the pocket on the back of the passenger seat in front of him. "You're right. I'll ask her when she gets home," he agreed meekly. He reached down at gave the little blue deer a gentle pat and started stroking it.

Xander stared out the window as the car rolled along. There was something about the conversation - argument - with Dark that was really bothering him. It took him a moment to identify what it was. The baby. Not the baby exactly, the relationship Dark anticipated having with the baby. He was going to take the baby everywhere, do everything with the baby be with the baby constantly unless it was with Daizi. Everywhere. Constant father and assumed daughter bonding time. Logically, he knew that things were not going to work out the way Dark expected and that it was silly to wish the same for himself, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't remember a time when Dark suggested taking the twins, together or separately, anywhere that wasn't for a purpose or with Daizi. There was no bonding time between them and Dark, at least not like that. It was always for important things, problems, or life lessons. There was no going out to the aquarium because Daizi couldn't see the fish. They went for nature hikes. No baseball or football games because Dark didn't seem to like them. They went to hobby stores. No going to games or ice cream just because or things like that. Sure, they could suggest going somewhere and Dark would most likely take them unless Daizi was home, but that wasn't the point.

Xander liked Daizi and Dark. He really did. He respected Dark, especially, and Alec was head-over-heels with them both, but they weren't a part of this family. Not really. They were the added appendages, and this natural baby was doing nothing but underscoring the difference. They didn't get the chance from birth to bond. They had to figure things out while already mostly through their development. They didn't get the chance to gradually wade into the pool, meaning they had no choice but to belly flop, and belly flopping hurt and made a lot of waves. Would they ever be a true part of the family? He knew they cared about him and Alec, but would they ever be accepted as sons? Did he want to be accepted like that? No. And... yes. He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted. He rested his forehead against the car window and wished to be home faster.
 
Dark checked the time as he pulled away from the arcade, "It is just a bit after her lunch break, otherwise it would not be a problem to call her back, although I do not know if she adjusted the time depending on how long the initial call was." But that was all he said. He hadn't realized how the little debate had affected Xander. If he had, he would have felt terribly about it, and would have immediately tried to make better, but he didn't expect there to be an issue there. To him, he was talking about a person who just naturally needed more attention than a teenager, and most teenagers, he believed, wanted space to do their own thing. For ten years, he had overheard conversations teenagers had with their friends about how annoying and needy their parents were, and he remembered being 15 and wanting nothing to do with adults, so he believed giving space was the proper thing to do. It didn't cross his mind that the reason why he didn't want anything to do with adults was because he didn't trust them, so it didn't occur to him that teens who are learning to trust might want or need a little more.

Anyway, it wasn't like he had only the other day offered to take them to a theme park, after asking if it was something they would be interested in--one a few hours away and everything. He liked rollercoasters, sure, but he offered because they had no experience with them, and he wanted them to. And they were just coming up on summer, where they were about to have so much free time. So he didn't know there were any problems in the car.

He parked outside their house and got out, stretching, and said, "I think Daizi is bring home takeout tonight, so... We do not have to worry about dinner, which is nice."
 
"She is?" Alec asked, following Xander out of the car. "That's fantastic! What kind of-"

"Alec, you left your phone in the car," Xander called over his shoulder, remembering seeing Alec stick it in the seat pocket and not retrieve it.

Alec scrambled back into the car, retrieved his phone, and climbed back out. "What kind of food is she bringing home?" he finished as he closed the car door.

Xander headed inside to remove his shoes. He'd realized how comfortable it felt without them and that wasn't a problem. However, he hesitated a little when he went to touch the salt. Why did he have to do this? He didn't believe any of this. Why did he have to follow someone else's beliefs? Yet, as much as he might want to rebel, he ended up touching the salt anyway and heading to the living room. "Enkidu? Where are you? We're home!"
 
"She did not say," Dark replied, heading into his house, "I think I might watch a movie. I do not do it very often, it seems like a waste of time most days. Do either of you have a suggestion?" He didn't have any grading to do, he wasn't cooking, and he still had hours before Daizi came home from work, so... He thought it might be nice, but because he so rarely actually used their television, he had no idea what was good.

Enkidu, hearing his name, came charging into the room, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, and came wiggling across all of their bodies, fully expecting to be pet by all three of them, and at once, if he could manage it.
 
Xander and Alec obliged, though Xander was more reserved in his petting, mostly sticking to scratching Enkidu's ears. Alec knelt and put his full attention on giving Enkidu every bit of attention he could. Both of them paused and turned to stare at Dark when he said he wanted to watch a movie.

"You watch movies?" Alec said slowly.

"What kind of movies do you watch?" Xander asked.

"I thought he was a pure documentary man," Alec said.

Xander nodded. "With maybe a smattering of news now and then."
 
"No I do not watch movies. Or, I rarely watch movies, which is why I am asking for suggestions." Dark replied, mildly bewildered at their reaction, "I like Wes Anderson films, and very classic horror like the Exorcist, and really bleak films. But besides Wes Anderson, most of the movies I watch make me sort of sad, which is fine, I like being a little bit sad, but it is not what I want today, so... Again, that is why I am asking. What movies do you like?"
 
The twins exchanged glances. They didn't know who Wes Anderson was by name, though they may have seen one of his movies.

"I like happy movies, but creative ones, like Laika movies," Alec said.

"Scary movies are fantastic, but I'm not in the mood," Xander said. "But what kind of movies do you even have? Or are we ordering one online?"

"Can we see if there are any Laika ones? Professor might like Paranorman," Alec suggested as the pair started searching for movies.

"Ugh, not Paranorman. It's gross," Xander groaned.
 
"We have Netflix and Hulu, so... Whatever is on there we can watch. You can go look and pick one, if you like," Dark said, gesturing towards the living room, "I do prefer it if it does not rely on gross-out humor, though. I can make a snack, have you ever had Italian Soda? It is nice. Although, if you would prefer to dash off to be alone, I completely understand, it is only if you would like to."
 
Xander hesitated, considering doing just that, but why not stick around for a movie? "Yeah, I could go for an Italian Soda, sure."

"Laika isn't on any streaming services that I know of," Alec sighed in disappointment. He turned and handed the controls to Xander. "Here, you pick. I want to go set up my lava lamp."

"Alright," Xander agreed. "Can you take up my stuff? Except the dog toy." He sat on the coffee table and started scrolling. He didn't even recognize most of the things on either service. He wasn't a big movie watcher. It required being still for too long. Then he found a series that looked interesting. It looked pretty inventive, and the title was cool. Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia! It seemed to be about two ordinary kids who got involved with giant stone trolls underground. Seemed childish, but interesting to look at.

Alec, for his part, hurried to put their things away, setting up the lava lamp on the desk but not turning it on yet. Then he headed down to help Dark with the snacks.
 
Dark, as usual, was in the kitchen, and smiled to Alec when he came in, "We do not normally have popcorn, but thankfully, Daizi has been very into it this past week, so I have had to buy massive amounts of popcorn," He shook one hand to indicate just how much popcorn, "so a bag of the standard buttered popcorn and one of the bags of caramel corn should be good, yes? The caramel corn comes prepared, which is helpful. Real, American movie night!" He chuckled to himself and turned around to Alec, "Your brother expressed interest in keeping more American food in the house, but was nervous about asking for what he wanted. Do you know what he would like? We cannot get it this instant, but going forwards. I hear a lot about pizza rolls."
 
Alec giggled. "I think the thing is most American foods like pizza rolls are quick and easy. You can microwave them or put them on a tray and heat them in the oven with virtually no effort. Everything here that you eat takes effort. Sometimes it's nice to take no more effort than pouring a bowl of cereal after school or for a late-night snack, but something a little more substantial than a snack." He paused and fished something out of his pocket. "Oh, I got this for you." It was the little monster doll. It was a soft plush that would sit if balanced properly and seemed to have a slightly bewildered look in its massive purple eyes.
 
"Not everything. Khubaz is quick. We are not a snackless home," He said this, and was suddenly relieved Daizi was not there, because he knew she would have made a joke about that, "we have things that are a little bit more filling but still easy, just not the same things. But still, if there is anything you would like, just let us know."

When Alec said he had gotten something for him, he turned around, and couldn't help but laugh a bit at the silly face on the monster, but not derisively, "Thank you," He said, taking it, "he is cute... What made you pick this for me? And you did not need to get me anything."
 
As was usual, as soon as someone asked him what he liked, his mind went blank. Music? Never heard a song in his life. Snack? He didn't eat food. Shirts? He had no idea what shirts were. He shook it off, deciding to write down some things they liked later.

He smiled when Dark laughed at the monster. It was such a rare thing to hear! "Well, I saw him, and he just seemed like you. Or something you'd like, I mean," he said. "I thought maybe he could sit on your desk or in your exercise room so you'd have someone to spot you. Or whatever it is partners are supposed to do in exercise."
 
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