How Green Becomes Wood

"Some foods are just kind of overwhelming. It's not that I never try new foods, I just need to try new foods at the right time, you know? If I don't eat at lunch, I won't be able to make it through the rest of the day, and I just, I have to be in the right mood to try new foods, and I don't think now is the right time." Milo replied, scratching his arm as he sat down at the end of the table, scratching his arm.

It wasn't something he really knew how to express, but he still didn't feel totally comfortable eating lunch with... everyone. He liked Peter and Sloan (who, at that moment, was speed-walking to the table while typing furiously on her phone, not even looking up as she sat down), and Becky and Tom were okay too, but... they still didn't really feel like his friends. So anytime he sat down to join them, he felt like an interloper who wasn't really invited. By then, he had been able to convince himself they weren't mad at his presence, but he still fully believed that with the exception of Xander and probably Alec, they wouldn't really care if he was there or not.
 
Xander reached over and very gently caught Milo's sleeve between his thumb and forefinger before tugging the scratching hand away from his arm. He let go almost instantly as soon as he'd disrupted Milo's scratching. "It makes sense to me. Food is good. Food is life. Even people who like surprises know there's a time and a place. What kind of sandwich did you say you brought?"

Alec watched Sloan for a bit before timidly asking, "Is everything okay?"
 
"Oh, um, it's just a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich," Milo replied, wilting a little bit at being caught scratching at his arm again, "but I used raspberry jelly instead of grape. It's not all that special."

Sloan shook her head, roughly putting her phone away, "It's just my mom. She's on one again."
 
"I prefer it, I think. Not in a life-or-death way, or anything, I wouldn't go to war for it, you know, but... I think it's nice." He shrugged, "It's really good with, um, nutella. Or any chocolate spread, really."

Sloan sighed and pushed her hair back, "It's just... more of the same s**t. I made the mistake of mentioning that I might want to get my cartilage pierced, and she, of course, lost her mind, and I pointed out that on Friday, she won't have control over anything I do with my body anymore. Which went over about as well as you'd expect."
 
"Huh. I'll give it a try sometime," Xander nodded.

"Oh, that's unfortunate," Alec winced. "Well, next year is collage, which means you'll be able to establish yourself as more independent. I guess then you can poke whatever you want to poke." He couldn't help shivering. "Even if I don't understand the appeal."
 
"You'll probably like it. If you like raspberries, anyway. If you don't, you'll hate it." Milo replied, "Jam isn't particularly interesting, I don't think."

"As soon as I'm in college, I'm going to do everything I wasn't allowed to do before, I'm serious," Sloan said with a heavy frown, taking out her phone just to put it on silent, as it hadn't stopped vibrating since she put it down before, "I'm going to shave half my head, and I'm going to have them put designs in it, and I'm going to get another hole in my ear, and I'll wear my sweaters however I want to, and buy whatever clothes I like, and I'll just not go home anymore."
 
"Nah? If jam's not interesting, then what is?" Xander asked, listening to Sloan's conversation with half an ear but not paying much attention.

"Sounds like a lot to do all at once," Alec commented carefully. "You might want to space it out a bit so you can get extended enjoyment.
 
"I dunno. It's just mashed fruit, isn't it? I don't think it's particularly interesting. Maybe if it's your entire profession." Milo responded, turning to take a shy glance at Sloan.

"That list is just a few things," Sloan grumbled, trying and failing to be less agitated, "It's just---You grow up your whole life, and you're supposed to trust your parents want what's best for you, okay, but then they just treat you like a toy. Right? Like, they didn't have kids because they care about the future of humanity, they don't want to devote themselves to caring for another life, they just want a doll to dress up, or they want a do-over, because they're miserable in their own lives, and they never take the time to think, oh, maybe my daughter doesn't want to be like me. I've spent my entire life, basically, doing things my mom told me to do, and anytime I try to assert myself as my own person, with my own choices, she acts like I should be so grateful for taking care of me, but that's literally the entire job of a mom is to take care of their kids. If you give birth to a person, you don't get to act like a martyr because you fed them. You're literally supposed to feed them. That's the point."
 
"I think it's interesting because you can change it up a lot. Even if you use the same fruit, you can make it more bitter, have a different body, all that jazz. Or mix different fruits together. And then jam can be used on something as simple as breakfast toast or put in a super fancy cake." Xander stopped talking rather abruptly both because he realized he was rambling and because of Sloan's rant.

"That's really frustrating," Alec agreed, still cautious, "and I can see why you're upset, but she still cares about you at the end of the day. She just doesn't know how to show that care in a good way for you."

Peter trotted over then and punked down across from Sloan. "Hey, guys! This second day is a doozy, isn't it? Did any of your teachers already assign homework?" He stopped, wilting a little as he read the room. "Uh, what did I walk into?"
 
"Sure she cares, but she cares about her project." Sloan retorted, resting her weight against her arms, which were folded on the table, "Do you know she thinks I should diet? She says I'm 'too bulky' and it makes me look 'mannish' and, first of all, I'm not, and I don't, but god forbid I don't look like a gymnast from the 60s who couldn't do half the things I do. And also, literally every woman on my dad's side are pear shaped, and maybe she should consider the possibility that she's jealous that I have an ass. I looked great in the skirt I wore yesterday, actually. And it's crazy, actually, because she talks like b*y high school girls, but I can tell high school girls to f off, I have to pretend to 'respect' my mom, because respect is earned, not given, unless they gave birth to you." She resisted the urge to rub her face and shake out her hair because she had really tried to look nice that morning. She took a quick glance at Peter and still answered his question, "I had homework assigned starting yesterday."
 
None of the boys said anything, just stared at Sloan with varying levels of confusion, concern, and worry.

"You are not a project," Alec said softly. He started to say something else but stopped when Xander nudged him under the table.

Xander had come to school wearing two earrings in one ear. One was a clip on at the lobe, and the other a magnet higher up. He took off the magnet one and leaned around Alec. "Dude." He put the earring in front of Sloan. "F** the matriarchy. Give her a scare. And it's a cheap one, so you don't have to worry if you lose it or she tosses it. Just don't stick it in your nose."
 
Sloan stared down at the earring on the table, but she couldn't pick it up at first because everything was too blurry. Then she took a breath, dug her nails into her palm, and did all of the little things she had been forced to do to learn to push things down until later. "Thanks," She murmured, picking up the earring and turning it over in her hand for a little while, wondering if she'd be brave enough to let her mom see it or if she'd take it off before stepping inside. Then, with a breath, she put it on, gave Xander a slightly deflated smile, and fell silent, suddenly feeling awkward with so many of her friends just looking at her. They didn't know how lucky they were to not have been expected to be perfect. Had it just been her and Xander, she might have felt comfortable sharing something else, but it wasn't something she wanted to say around Peter, and especially not around Tom or Milo, who she didn't know nearly well enough.
 
Alec reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder, leaning closer in a near-hug. He didn't want to give her even a full side-hug in case that was too much, but he did want her to know that he was here and would support her as best as he could.

At the end of the table, Tom cleared his throat. "You were saying homework, Peter? I got a couple of assignments, too. Really jumping right into it."

"Same," Peter admitted. "I'm going to try to get as much work done at school as possible because I want to keep my weekends free and clear."

They started talking homework, and Peter asked Milo about his workload, but didn't focus on him too much. Peter wanted Milo to feel included, not interrogated.
 
It took a moment, but she did lean back towards him, not knowing what else to say, really. She had just grown so, so tired of putting up with it all. Quietly, she considered how nice it would be to move away and never talk to her mom again. That seemed pretty farfetched, too.

Milo answered Peter's questions with his usual amount of stammering and lack of eye contact, but he did his best. He didn't really have extracurriculars to keep his weekends clear for, but he did generally try to compete assignments as they came.
 
Alec hugged Sloan gently and waited for her to pull away first. He didn't say anything, and for once didn't even try to think of something positive to say about it. He just let her take the lead and show him what she needed. For now, he figured she needed to not have attention drawn to her.

Tom and Peter agreed that keeping the weekends clear for no other reason than to have a clear weekend was an excellent thing to do. The talk moved on, and soon lunch was wrapping up.
 
Sloan didn't want to talk about it anymore just then. Even saying what she had exhausted her, and she was glad to have gotten it out, but it didn't exactly make her feel better. Just less bad. Although part of that was the unease at having such an open breakdown in front of so many people, hopefully most of them would just forget. For godsakes, it was only the second day of senior year.

Eventually she did pull away, and slowly rejoined the conversation. Although she couldn't say she ended lunch in a good mood, if nothing else, she didn't end it miserable, which was about as much as she could ask for.
 
As lunch ended and everyone cleaned up, Alec and Xander walked with Peter and Milo toward the hall. Peter bid them farewell and headed off toward his next class.

As they entered the hallway, a group of footballers was heading in their direction including the new guy, who looked like a walking refrigerator. They goofed off, shoving each other back and forth, until the leader of their group spotted Milo.

"Hey, it's the camera dude! Take any good pictures of the cheerleaders lately?" he sneered at Milo.
 
Milo blinked at the football player, recognizing at last how delusional he had been to think he had escaped being hassled by strangers. Clearly not. And this dude seemed liable to beat him into ash for the hell of it.

"Cheerleading practice hasn't started yet," Milo told him quietly and biting his tongue to keep from adding you'd know that if girls talked to you.
 
"I bet you can't wait to get some good shots of them, can you?" the guy smirked as his friends started slowly creating a semi-circle around them.

Xander took hold of Milo's shirt and pulled him back as Xander stepped forward, placing himself squarely between the footballer and Milo. "Why you asking? You want a picture of one so you can take it to prom? That's the only way you'll be getting any girls to go with you, after all," he shot back.
 
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