How Green Becomes Wood

Dark looked down at Alec with bright eyes, but couldn't think of anything to say. Daizi was still stunned, thrilled, but stunned, and on the verge of tears. She had her stillborn at 20 weeks, so still further along than she was now, but that whole pregnancy she was told how tiny that baby was, and they could never detect the sex until after he had been born silent. And none of the others she had ever learned the sex of. But now she knew she was having a daughter, and that everything was exactly as it should be. On the screen, the baby kicked again, and when this happened, Daizi whimpered, not from pain, "We have to tell Xander he's having a sister," she squeaked out at last.

Because her doctor worked specially with patients who had struggled in the past, she was exceptionally understanding and gentle with all the emotions in the room, and so after a moment she asked, "Would you like me to get him?"

"No!" Daizi said quickly, and gesturing down towards her belly with its few tiny stretchmarks and the dark brown line running down from her navel said, "I think he'd simply expire if he walked in here now. After we're finished and I'm--cleaned up and packed away, then we'll tell him. I need him to be okay, too."
 
Alec giggled and gave Dark a half-hug, or as much as he could from his awkward angle, and said, "Daizi, she is beautiful! A little grey and flat from this angle, but very cute. Xander is going to be so excited!" He didn't know what else to say, so he clamped his mouth shut before he could start babbling nonsensically. The baby was actually going to happen! Everything good was actually going to happen! Everything was fine! In a few weeks, there would be a baby, and the baby would be a part of the family, and he could be there with her! He could be her family! And she his. he wondered how old she would be before Dark or Daizi let him hold her.
 
"I can't wait for when I can see her too," Daizi sighed, and for her sake the doctor let her hear the heartbeat again. Then the scan continued and Dr. Greene took all of the required measurements before turning off the machine, and handing Daizi the box of wet wipes so she could clean herself up.

"I have some really good images from that. How... many should I print off this time?" The doctor asked, because typically she'd only print off two for Dark (one he kept on him, the other he added to his box), but she suspected at the very least, given the look on his face, Alec might want one.

"Oh, one of my friends wants one," Daizi remembered suddenly, pulling her shirt down and then doing up the straps of her pinafore.
 
"Can I have one?" Alec asked cautiously. He didn't want to overstep his boundaries, but it might be fun to have one to show Peter and Sloan. Then he remembered he should probably ask before he shared the picture. He started to and then realized he should probably wait until after the appointment was over. Xander would definitely not want one.
 
"Of course you can have one," Dark said, and the doctor nodded before sending them off to the printer

"These print to the office, I will go get them," She said brightly, and then left the room. As she passed Xander she said, "the exam is over, you are welcome to go in, now."
 
Xander jumped when the doctor spoke to him and then stood. Cautiously, he inched to the door and peered inside. "Uh, how did it go?" he asked uncertainly.

Alec ran over and tugged his arm. "It's a girl! Xander, it's a girl! Isn't it that great?"

"Uh," Xander said slowly, still feeling a little in shock from where they were, "that's pretty good." He rallied himself and said, "But not as great as a boy!"
 
"Everything went really well." Dark said, looking truly glad to see Xander.

"You already have a brother. Now you get to have a sister too." Daizi told him, still reeling. She wanted to call everyone. Her father, her aunts, all of her friends, and Cooger--no, Dark should probably be the one to tell Cooger--she even felt a brief desire to tell Declan and Ciara, just because they were more people she could share the news with. The fact she was excited to tell people was another new feeling she wasn't used to.
 
"Oh, yep, that's pretty great," Xander said, nodding. "I have no clue how to deal with a sister, but from the way the professor was talking, even you might struggle to have some time with the kid."

Alec nudged him gently. "Don't tease!" he scolded with a smile. "We'll all have our jobs! We'll all help looking after her."

"Right, yeah," Xander agreed, trying to look a little more enthusiastic and nodding. "It's just this place, that's all. Sorry. Don't let me be a downer."
 
"Goose, what is he talking about?" Daizi asked, turning towards her husband with a teasing smile.

"No, nothing, I just... I am excited. My parents never wanted anything to do with me and it messed me up," He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, "Babies come into the world without any past experiences, so I do not want to mess her up by not spending enough time with her."

"Oh darling... you won't. And like Alec said, she's going to born into a very loving family."

Shortly after saying this, Dr. Greene returned, and handed Dark the majority of the sonogram pictures, but also handed Alec his copies directly, "I managed to get a shot of her little yawn, so I printed that one and the normal one. And now you're free to go, I'll see you in two weeks."

"Thank you, Dr. Greene," Daizi said, standing up from the exam table, and Dark shook her hand before the two of them began to leave. As they walked back to the waiting room, she said, "Hey, babe, will you pull the car up to the office door? It's just, we parked so far away. You can go with him, Alec, enjoy a few brief shining moments in the front seat."
 
Alec took his copies gleefully and peered at them with a sparkle in his eye, nearly walking into a few things he was so intent on keeping his eyes on the pictures. Xander had to grab his arm and steer him places as they walked.

When Daizi suggested Alec go with Dark to get the car, Alec finally looked up and grinned. "I've never sat in the front seat before. Only the back. Okay!" He started for the door, intent on going ahead of Dark and then hesitated. "Where's the car?"

"Stay close to the professor so you don't get lost," Xander said, rolling his eyes.
 
"I will make sure he makes it safely to the car," Dark said to Xander, "Come on, Alec, let us go pull the car around."

Daizi turned towards Xander, "And you'll wait with me, right? I'd feel so awkward staying here all alone." When Dark and Alec walked down towards the car, she then took a side-step closer to Xander, and said, "Thank you for coming today. I know it's difficult for you. It means a lot that you still decided to come. And thank you for correcting Declan about how my name is pronounced yesterday. That means a lot too."
 
"Right!" Alec happily trotted ahead, checking back at Dark now and then to ensure he was going in the right direction. "Have you ever thought about how we say things that are just understood? Like pulling the car around. We are not going to literally pull the car around, we're going to get in and drive the car around, but imagine if you were a literal person and didn't know that."

Xander shifted awkwardly but nodded. "You're welcome. It's, you know, the least I could do." After a moment, he said, "You can put your hand on my shoulder, if you like. To steady yourself."
 
"I think there is a children's book series with that premise," Dark replied, casually following Alec, "and you can understand how difficult it was for me learning English. There were so many little things like that which completely bewildered me."

"Are you sure?" Daizi asked, hesitating, but ultimately did as he allowed her, and inhaled deeply, "You're really special, do you know that? You really are. It might surprise you, but... I don't believe in luck, I really don't. It's always seemed too easy. But I think I'm really lucky to have you in my life, truly," she paused for a moment, and almost imperceptibly squeezed his shoulder, "Please don't think I'm just saying this because I'm hormonal. I am hormonal. But that's not why I... It just, it means so much to me that even though you couldn't be in the room, you still wanted to come with us, when you could have more easily stayed home."
 
"It must be really, really confusing!" Alec suddenly stopped amidst the parked cars and turned to look at Dark. "Why did you want a girl?" he asked suddenly, his eyes quiet but earnest. "You and Daizi, why did you want a girl?"

Xander blushed clear up to the roots of his hair and squirmed, but not due to the touch of her hand. He still didn't like it, but it didn't hurt. At least not like it used to. He appreciated the compliment so deeply he could practically feel it, but he didn't know how to respond. How did one accept such open honesty and appreciation of something someone did? "You're welcome," he finally mumbled, feeling it was woefully inadequate.
 
"Oh." Dark looked at Alec, having not expected this question. He had been trying to remember a particularly funny example of when he had misunderstood a metaphor or a cliché, and this caught him off guard, "Well. I suppose because I love Daizi so much, and a little girl seems more likely to be like her than a little boy. And I like to braid hair, and... Have you ever seen those fairy princess costumes? Boys can wear them too, but boys are more likely to be teased for wearing them, and, well," he glanced over his shoulder, "our kid will be brown, and tall, and bring weird, strongly scented lunches to school, and be raised by us, so... They'll probably be bullied anyway, I do not want to make it worse. And..." he sighed, shifting on his feet. He had stopped walking entirely, "We had a son. A few years ago... He was born dead at twenty weeks. We named him Omar, after Daizi's brother, and now he is our apple tree. So I suppose having another baby, another boy, would feel sort of like replacing him. Having a girl would not feel that way." He looked up at the sky, and across the parking lot, and down at his shoes, and everywhere other than Alec for a few minutes after sharing that. He chewed on his bottom lip, and eventually looked at Alec again, and said, his voice a little tight, "and we have you and your brother. So we have our boys. We did not need a third, or fourth."

Daizi stood quietly with her hand on Xander's shoulder, giving him space to say anything, if he ever chose to. She didn't push him. When he finally did speak, she said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to hug you. I'd like to, but I won't, because I know it's not what you need... There's just... There's so much I'd like to say, and that Dark would like to say, to you and to your brother, but... It's not easy. There are just some things that are still so difficult to say out loud, but... You're both very wanted here. So it's nice, for big family moments, to have you with us, in whatever capacity is most comfortable for you."
 
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All of the reasons Dark said sounded like odd reasons to Alec - though, to be fair, he wasn't sure what he actually expected - until the final reason. They didn't want to replace Omar. Alec turned away, walking a few paces, before turning back. "Do we replace Omar?" he asked quietly.

"Oh. Um, I, yeah," he mumbled, feeling oddly guilty though he couldn't identify why. "It's nice to be here. For you. I just want things to go well for you." He looked out through the window, wishing desperately that Dark and Alec would get here with the car. A part of him liked that Daizi was talking to him and opening up, but the rest of him felt uncomfortable. He didn't know how to respond to her, leaving him feeling awkward, and he hated awkwardness with a passion!
 
"No, no you do not." Dark replied, exhaling. It was such a difficult conversation, but they were in it, now, "It's different. You came to us much older, with different needs. We love you and Xander so much," He did not realize what he had said, "but you are not babies, so we get to enjoy having sons without laying you down in a crib at night and thinking about what we lost. I do not know if that makes sense. With you, it is like... We get a vision of what our future with him would have been, twice over, and so instead of feeling like he has been replaced or forgotten, it feels sort of like..." He paused for awhile, trying to think of the best way to phrase it, "Like we lost the child we were supposed to be taking care of, and you lost the mother who was supposed to be taking care of you, and now all of us get to have each other. All of that grief is still there, but we get to use it for good. I guess. I have not really thought about it."

"If it's easier we can wait outside," Daizi said, "I know we aren't in the actual office anymore, but we're still in the building that holds it." She shifted her hand and lightly ran three of her fingers up his shoulder blade as a much smaller version of rubbing his back, and then she drew her hand away, not wanting to go beyond his limits, "And it's okay if you don't feel as strongly for us as we do for you."
 
Alec nodded and smiled. "Good," he said simply before turning and walking down the row of cars once more. He kept his outward appearance calm and composed, but inwardly, he was turning summersaults. Dark and Daizi loved them! There had been no doubt in his mind that Daizi loved them even if she never said it. Love was proven by a lot more than just words, after all. Dark, on the other hand, he hadn't been fully sure. He suspected, but it was harder to read Dark. Now he knew it to be true! They were loved, and they were family! They were a bit of a patchwork family, but patchwork could be even more beautiful than... whatever the non-patchwork version was, his analogy fell apart in his head. He was so happy he walked right passed the car and kept going blithely.

"Outside is a good idea," Xander agreed, shivering at her touch. His voice squeaked lightly, and he hoped she hadn't heard it. He didn't know how he felt about them, not anymore. It was all just a confused jumble in his head! It should have been simple, but it didn't feel like it. He decided to not think about it as he started heading outside, remembering just in time to stay close to Daizi for her sake.
 
Dark paused for a moment, and then walked the rest of the way to the car. When Alec passed it, he chuckled and said, "It is over here. Come back."

Daizi walked outside with Xander, and using her cane found her way to the bench she could swear she remembered being they, and then sat down with a quiet oof, "I have to do something for Dark for father's day," She was trying to change the topic to make it easier on him, "I'm not sure what."
 
Alec turned and hurried back to the car. "Oh, oops!" He smiled at Dark and started to go to his seat. Then he stopped, changed his mind, and walked over to Dark. He wrapped his arms around Dark and hugged him tight. "I love you, too, Professor," he whispered into Dark's shirt. He wasn't sure if Dark would be able to hear him or just hear a few muffled words, but it felt good to say it.

Xander stood next to her, hands in his pockets. "You could always get a father's starter pack," he suggested. "A pack of all the stereotyped dad-gifts, like a tie, cufflinks, a belt, maybe some golf clubs or a fishing tackle box, things like that."
 
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