How Green Becomes Wood

"I doubt you are. He loves you more than anyone," He watched Alec try to touch the meat, "Do you need help? And is it just because he is not talking to you that you think you are the problem? Because, sometimes I know I cannot talk to Daizi or Cooger about something on my mind, just because I cannot even fully make sense of it to myself, so talking about it to someone else feels insurmountable. It does not mean I care about them any less, or that they are causing the issue. It is just... hard, sometimes."
 
"I guess there are a few other little things, but that's the main one. He always talks to me." He reached in and started stirring the meat with his hands, squishing it tentatively at first and then more firmly. "I just think... I think he's tired of me. We've always been a team, that annoying twin group that lives up to the media hype because we actually like each other and are always together, and I like that and want that, but I feel like he is pulling away." Alec squished the meat as hard as he could, making it squelch unpleasantly. "I think he's tired of always having me around, hanging onto his arm and being always right there. You know?"
 
"Well..." Dark mused, peeling potatoes to make fries, "Maybe it is not that he is tired of you, but that since he knows you have a safe place, and that you will be taken care of, he does not need to fear something happening to you like he used to. He has always protected you, right? But maybe now it does not seem like you need it, so... He feels like when you hang onto him, it is for his sake, which makes him feel like he does not have the same purpose he used to, and that is why he seems less open. Or, maybe because you are both more secure than you used to be, he is starting to be interested in trying new things, and maybe not all of those things you would be interested in, and he does not want you to feel obligated to do them, just because he likes them?"
 
"I guess that could be the thing," Alec said slowly. He gave the meat one last squeeze and started trying to clean off his hands. "I think maybe he might want to try new things, I just..." He sighed. "I wish he would maybe ask. Or talk to me. Communicate! I know I'm not one to talk, but..." He shook his head and turned to wash his hands. "I don't understand, and I kind of don't want to. I'd rather return to the streets than live without him."
 
"Communication is the hardest part in any relationship, unfortunately. It is both the most important and most difficult thing. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? Or if you find it too difficult to say, you could always write it down in a letter and give it to him. But I promise you," He set down the potatoes so he could look at Alec directly, "You are not going to have to live without him. This is normal, you have had a messy and complicated year. And less than an hour ago he just defended you, so it is not like he has woken up and decided he no longer cares about you--not that you ever have to worry about that happening to begin with."
 
Alec looked up at Dark and gave him a small but genuine smile, feeling a bit of the anxiety within ease a bit. Still, he couldn't help glancing toward the door and wondering when Alec was going to be back. He shook himself. Xander needed time to himself. He needed to run and move and work out some of his own feelings. Maybe that's all he needed, a little space, and then things could go back to normal. Maybe it was just Declan's stories of being free and loose to go wherever he wanted, giving Xander a restlessness that had never been before. Hopefully, a good run with the dog would scratch his itchy feet for now. Alec would wait for him and be here when he got back. He sighed softly and turned to see what else he could do in the kitchen.
 
Dark helped Alec through the remaining steps, without letting him anywhere near the mandolin slicer, because if anyone was going to cut off their thumb making curly fries, it was going to be Alec, but besides that, there was a lot he could help with without risking culinary annihilation.

But because he had come home late because he first went to the bakery, and then because he had started cooking late, Daizi came home from work while they were still cooking. Dark did not notice, though, because he was not looking at the clock, and because Daizi did not come home right away, and instead sat down on the front stoop, taking some time to herself in the open air before going inside.
 
Xander noticed Daizi as he was taking one last lap around the block. He turned the dog toward home, whistling awkwardly as he drew closer so Daizi could hear someone was behind her. He didn't know what to say to get her attention without scaring her, so he stuck to whistling. The run had cleared his head, and now he felt a little bad for leaving Dark and Alec cooking alone. He wondered how many bandaids Alec had gone through.

Alec was in the process of counting things out and getting them in layers to add to the burger when he heard a noise at the front door. "Xander's back!" he said brightly, moving to see. "Oh, no, he's not."
 
Luckily, even if Xander had been quiet, when Enkidu saw his lady, he pulled at his leash, whining, so he could get pet. It still startled her, but then she was able to scratch behind his ears and she quickly settled herself, "marhaban, sweet boy," she murmured, and then, raising her head, "And, hello person walking my dog...?" Since there were any number of people who may have been walking him now.

"Oh, what is he doing?" Dark asked, he couldn't turn and look because he was in the process of actually cooking the burgers, and it was not something he felt comfortable leaving unattended.
 
"Xander," replied said dog walker. He frowned at her curiously. "Why are you sitting on the front steps? Are you okay? Should I go get the professor or leave you alone for a bit?"

Alec leaned over and peered out. "Oh! He's talking to someone. Daizi! Daizi's home."
 
"Hey Xander..." She smiled at him, but only for a moment, "We should eat dinner outside today, I think. It's a lovely day. I'm okay, I just... I didn't have a good day. Had a really bad day, actually, so... I know that if I go outside Dark will ask me how my day went, and I won't be able to keep it together, and then your brother will panic, and I don't... really want to deal with that yet. How about you? How was your day?"

"I did not realize it was that time already," Dark replied, at last glancing at the clock, "it is good we are just about finished, the food will be hot for her."
 
"Oh." Xander hesitated for a moment. Then he turned and carefully sat next to her. There wasn't a lot of room, but he made it work. "It was alright. Had some weird moments. And some good moments. Alec told Sloan about the... the baby." He tapped his finger on his knee, remembering. "And Peter gave Alec something he's supposed to give you, but he might have forgotten." Another brief pause. "So, uh, what was so bad about your day?" he asked with great caution.

Alec passed a judgemental eye over the cooking patties and nodded. "They are looking very good. I think you did a god job," he praised Dark as if he had any idea how to make burgers on his own.
 
"Weird days are good," Daizi replied, "weird days become great stories later. And I'm sure later he will remember, once I'm inside and ask him about his day..." She exhaled and gently cradled her belly, but this time it was mostly to soothe herself. After a few moments, she said, "I just... It was like everything that could've gone wrong did. Sometimes I pop into the guided tours, because I have expertise or whatever, and tour guides like it, and most of the time the guests do too, but I did it today and the guests were just so rude. And that would be fine, that I could move past, but then I was at the train station, and there's this man there, and he speaks kindly to me but since I've really started showing he keeps touching my middle, and I don't like it, but here's the thing: I like to think of myself as strong and capable, but I can't defend myself, not like that. Even before this, I can't throw a punch, I can't aim pepper spray. And it's worse now, because now I'm slow and clumsy and if I fall I risk hurting two people. But I told him to stop today, because I do not know him, and he stopped being nice. I don't want to repeat the things he said," She scratched her head, and then said, in a frustrated tone of voice, "And people wonder why I've been defensive around strangers, lately, and why I've been slow to trust anyone new."


"Thank you," Dark replied, carefully eyeing them, "I have never made burgers before. I suppose they are not so different to the sorts of food I have made, though."
 
"That really sucks," Xander said sympathetically. He could relate to hating people feeling like they had some kind of right to just touch whenever they liked without permission. That happened a lot when you were a kid, and it had spiraled into a ridiculous level after their mother had died. At least he could do something about it. He nudged her shoulder very gently. "Maybe you could get a like the belly part of a suit of armor and wear it around. Maybe put spikes on it," he suggested, mostly joking.

"They are mostly round, although that one looks square. Square is fun," Alec said with a nod.
 
"Yeah maybe..." She nodded, and leaned against him slightly, "I'd probably have to get it refitted every week. At least. I'll probably start asking one of my male coworkers to wait with me at the station from now on. I was terrified. And Dark will be on the warpath when he finds out. I just kept thinking, as this man was yelling at me, that I couldn't see his hands, and that if something happened, I wouldn't be able to describe him to the police." She tensed up, and then moved to stand up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be... You don't need to have this on your shoulders."

"That should probably be mine, then," Dark teased, "nobody has ever accused me of being fun. That is what people call being a square, right?"
 
"No, it's okay," Xander assured her. "You were scared, and anyone would be. That dude was way outta line and deserves to get Dark set on him, but you'll probably never be around him again. He's a jackass, but I'm more mad that no one else stepped in to help you." He snorted angrily. "People are trash. But metal armor is still a cool idea. You could get it made about as big as you expect to get and wear that all the time. I'd like to see anyone try to handle you then." He paused and smirked. "Or you can just reach out and start petting his belly and see how he likes it."

"I guess so, although I've never really understood that saying." Alec glanced toward the door. "They've been out there a long time."
 
"They probably didn't notice," She murmured, but managed to laugh when he brought up the armor, "Oh god, I don't even want to think about that. I'm already bumping into everything, and I'm not even halfway through yet." She grunted softly as she stood, and lightly rubbed her wrist thoughtfully before saying, "and I couldn't dare touch him. I don't know what he would do."

"I am not the person to ask for English colloquialisms." He replied, and at last went to the window, frowning, "They have been..." Dark looked at them and then went to open the front door and asked, "Is everything okay?"

She turned, startled, and then smiled and said, "Of course it is, we were just coming inside."
 
"The dog wouldn't stop talking," Xander told Dark. "He's chatty." He urged Enkidu inside and took off his leash before touching the salt and removing his shoes.

"You'll never guess what's for dinner!" Alec called, hurrying over to them.

"Okay, then what is it?" Xander asked.

"Guess!"

"You just said I couldn't guess!"

"Try anyway."

"Alright, uh, meat and rice."

Alec made a face. "That's not much of a guess! But it's burgers!"

"Really?" Xander looked at Dark. "Impressive."

Alec bounced over to Daizi and touched her arm, ready to hug her in welcome. "Hi!" He paused and frowned. "What's wrong? What happened?"
 
"Yes I think he loves her more than any of us. And now he has started sleeping between us, rather than at the end of the bed like he used to." Dark frowned, petting his dog, who seemed intent on replacing him. When Daizi came inside, removed her shoes, and touched the salt, he could clearly tell everything was not as it should be, so he tentatively said, "I missed you, Spider."

"I missed you too." She replied, and even though her tone was more or less typical, it confirmed his suspicions.

"You look tired."

"I am a bit."

He watched her, "You should rest after dinner. I can join you, if you would like," then he turned towards Xander and said, "I am trying. I made curly fries too. Who am I to rob you of your ancestral diet?"

"I would really love it if you did," Daizi told Dark while she touched Alec's shoulder, "No, it's okay. I just had a long day at work. How was your day? You're on summer break, now, that's exciting! I was thinking, we should eat outside today, it's perfect weather for it."
 
Xander snorted. "I'm pretty sure our ancestory is Irish, though we still haven't heard back from Ciara yet, have we?" He couldn't help grinning at Dark. "Curly fries are awesome. I didn't know you could make curly fries at home."

Alec brightened and nodded, grinning. "Yes, let's eat outside! I'll get things ready!" He hurried to grab the plates, nearly dropping them in his eagerness and having to catch himself. "Sorry! Nothing's broken."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top