How Green Becomes Wood

"I just, I," She tried to speak, but still found it too difficult. It was too much, there was too much. She still felt like she couldn't breathe, her heart was still pounding, and she was just regaining sensation in her fingers after her whole body had gone numb. With Lance gone, Dark was able to put more of his attention onto her.

"Breathe, Spider," he said, and like he had done with Alec only that morning, which felt like years ago, took a deep breathe, held it, and then exhaled, and kept doing this until she started doing it with him.

Eventually she was able to say, coughing as her lungs breathed deep for the first time since getting Dark's phone call, "I just want to go home. I want all of us to go home. I can't be here. It's the same. It's the same. Twenty weeks, and I'm here."

Dark stroked her hair with one hand, and turning towards Xander said, "She had, or is coming to the end of, a panic attack. It is this place, and everything else."
 
"We're going home, Daizi. All of us," Xander said firmly. "All of us." He glanced toward the door. "The doctor and the Lance guy are coming back. The doctor looks happier, the narc."

The doctor stepped in, smiling, but his smile faded into a look of concern. "Is everything alright here?" he said, uncertain if he should tell them about Alec or address whatever was going on with Daizi. "Do you need some water?"
 
Daizi shook her head, recognizing the voice of the doctor and not wanting him to leave without telling her about Alec, "Please just tell me how he is," she replied as she roughly tried to dry her face before wrapping her arms back around herself, "I need to know how he is."
 
The doctor approached and stood a little closer. "He's very weak, and he's going to need some help getting back on track health-wise, but he's going to be fine. Normally, we'd keep him overnight for observation, but we are stretched thin. Mr. Constable will speak to him and determine his mental well-being, and if he says Alec is okay and not at risk of hurting himself, you can take him home if you feel you are able to keep him under observation for the next couple of days. Just in case."

"He's not leaving my sight," Xander said flatly.

The doctor smiled a little at that. "He's awake now, so you can come see him, but Mr. Constable will have to speak to him and discern his mental state. Alright? When you're ready, follow me."
 
"We will keep a close watch over him," Dark replied, and stood before helping Daizi to her feet. She was still a bit shaky, but doing better, and was calmer after knowing Alec was going to be okay. Mostly, she just felt exhausted then, and leaning against Dark, they followed the doctor to Alec's room.

It wasn't until they were entering that Dark thought perhaps they should have gotten flowers, but they didn't know how everything was going to go, and then they were being questioned... Well, Alec would understand, and they had a whole garden of flowers back at home.
 
Lance waited until they reached the room and then reached out to stop Dark, not touching him but mildly blocking his way. "I know you're upset, and the first thing you two want to do is hug him, but I think it's best if I talk to him first," he said gently to Dark and Daiz, including Xander in his glance. "He might feel like he has to put on a brave face in front of you. Can you give me five minutes with him? Then you can come in and hug him all you like. Just wait on the other side of the curtain so he doesn't see you." He indicated the thin curtain raised between the two beds in the room. The one near the door was empty and waiting for an occupant. Alec's figure could just be made out in shadow on the other side.
 
"Whatever you think is best," Dark sighed, not wanting to argue with CPS, "Come on, darling. You should be sitting."

Daizi nodded, and was about to walk with Dark where they were allowed to sit and wait, but then she stopped, and turning slightly asked, "Doctor? My panic attack... did that, could that, harm my baby?" She waited only long enough for his answer before going where she was told and sitting on the unoccupied bed, or more accurately, curling up on it.
 
"The stress isn't good, but only in long term," the doctor said as calmly as he could. "If you are really concerned, then you should make an appointment with your regular doctor, but as long as you feel you are calmer now and don't feel any adverse effects, you should be fine. Just try to relax as much as you possibly can and avoid stressors." He gave a wry smile. "Not the easiest advice to follow right now, I know."

Lance went around the curtain and announced himself. "Hey, buddy, how are you feeling?" he greeted Alec.

Alec looked small and alone in the bed with only an IV to keep him company. Gone were his colorful clothes to be replaced by a thin hospital gown. A nurse had been staying close, but when the others arrived, she excused herself to go look after other patients. Alec looked up at Lance, a flicker of fear crossing his face before it faded. He was too tired to be afraid. "Hello. Who are you?"

"My name's Lance. Lance Constable. I need to ask you a few questions, alright? I know you're tired and probably don't feel well, so I'll try to be quick." He pulled up a chair and sat down. "Hey, you know what? I was told you like art, and I have something art related I really need help with."

"I can't help anyone," Alec told him quietly.

"That's alright if you don't want to," Lance assured him, "it's just... I have this tattoo, right? And no matter how hard I try, I can't figure out the right colors for it. I even carry around this pack of markers and occasionally try to color it in just to see if I like it." He pulled out a pack of washable markers and set them in Alec's reach. Then he shrugged out of his jacket and showed Alec a forearm full of tattoos with only the outlines done and no color. "What do you think?"

Alec hesitated a moment. Then he reached out and carefully pointed to a geometric shape near the middle. "That is a nice one. It looks like the shapes I wanted to do on our bedroom wall, but not quite."

"Wow, that'd pretty cool. What colors were you going to do?"

After a moment of encouragement, Alec picked up the markers and began carefully coloring in the shapes, talking as he worked.
 
Dark held Daizi close, watching their frail shadows from behind the curtain. She was listening closely, and doing her best to remain quiet, not wanting to accidentally interrupt them. Her eyes were closed, not that it meant anything to her. Soon they would be home, she kept telling herself. Soon. And then they could all sleep. They could build a big, beautiful fort in the living room, and all crawl inside, and nothing would ever reach them. Not in there. She would hold onto Alec and keep him safe. She would hold onto Xander and keep him safe. She couldn't hold her baby any more than she already was.

She reached out one hand towards Xander, knowing if she was worried, he was too, and even though she didn't expect him to respond to her gesture, she still wanted to do it.
 
Xander was so intent on listening in he didn't notice Daizi reaching out at first and jumped when a hand suddenly appeared. Silently, he took her hand, stepping closer to her and gingerly touching her shoulder. He was here.

"You gave everyone quite a scare," Lance said calmly while Alec busily colored. "Your brother, especially."

The marker paused over Lance's skin. "Xander left," Alec said softly.

"Yeah, he did," Lance nodded, "but then he came back to find you passed out on the floor."

Alec smiled a little but then looked worried. "I didn't mean to."

"I'm sure you didn't. That's not something people like to do. What about that spot there?"

"Oh." Alec colored in the spot he'd missed. "My stomach hurt really bad. I just... I wanted the pain to stop, so I went to get something for it. Then I dropped the bottle and they spilled. I didn't mean to do that. Then I just... I got dizzy."

"I see," Lance said gently. "So you weren't trying to hurt yourself?"

"No. That would hurt Dark and Daizi, but I think maybe it would be easier for them if I wasn't here," he said quietly.

"I don't think they'd agree," Lance said gently. "I don't think they'd agree at all. Do you want to ask them?"

Alec hesitated, glancing at Lance. "No. I don't want to hurt anyone. I really don't. But I seem to. That's why Xander left."

"If he left because of that, do you really think he would have come back?" Lance pointed out.

Alec bit his lip, looking down. He finished coloring and capped the marker. "I really want to go home, but I'm scared they don't want me back."

Lance patted his thin shoulder gently. "Let's ask them, okay? If they say no, that has to be better than suspecting it, right?"

Alec nodded slowly. "Yes."

Lance stood and looked at his arm. "Thanks, buddy. This looks great." He stepped to the end of the bed and looked around the curtain. He didn't say anything, just gestured for them to come.
 
Being given permission to go see Alec, Dark indicated to Daizi to get up, and slowly they came out from behind it. Surprising herself, Daizi didn't cry, she just went right to his bedside, fully expecting Xander to push past her to get to him first, "Oh habibi..." She murmured, she sat down on the edge of the bed, and caressed his thin little face, because she couldn't just watch from a distance.

Dark came and stood behind her, thinking to himself it all sort of felt like the ending of The Return of the King. Then, he thought, and felt it a really silly and strange thought to have while watching his son laid up in a hospital bed after being interrogated by CPS, that they really should watch those films, "Of course we want you to come home," he said, "it would not be home without you there."
 
Alec sniffled, tears coming to his eyes as he let Daizi stroke his face. He reached up and put his hand on hers and looked to Dark. "Really?" he asked, his voice wobbling. "Really and truly? I'm sorry I scared you, I really didn't mean to."

Surprisingly, Xander hung back. He hugged himself as he watched Dark and Daizi, biting his lip. How had he been so blind to his brother's discomfort and fear? How had he pushed it off so much? Selfishness. Pure selfishness. He looked away, unable to bring himself to meet Alec's gaze, certain of the hurt he'd see, and possibly worse, the anger.

Lance hung back, watching them, observing the family as a final test. It looked like his instincts on this had been right, but he needed to be absolutely certain.
 
"We know you did not," Dark said. Then he glanced behind him at Xander, and went over to him, and whispered, "He loves you. I am sure he wants you more than anyone."

"It is only fair," Daizi murmured, wiping away his tears once she felt them against her hand, "after how I've frightened you. Remember when I was so sick and you thought I had died? I guess this is payback for that, huh. Oh my sweet boy. Now we're even. Oh, I'm going to make you so much soup," she kissed his forehead, "Uhibbuk, habibi. I love you."
 
Xander Glanced at Dark uncertainly but slowly inched closer. Alec had always forgiven him before, but he'd never done anything this bad before. How could he forgive this? He'd stay no matter what.

Alec reached up and hugged Daizi awkwardly, pulling a little on his IV. "I love you, Daizi, very much. I just want to go home." Then he spotted Xander standing there and leaned back. "Xander? Why'd you come back?"

Xander took a shaky breath. "Because I realized I'm a bastard and wanted to try to fix what I broke. Also, to tell you you were right all the time. I'm... I'm sorry."

Alec held out his arms to his brother. He didn't say anything, just waited. Xander broke and crawled into the bed with his brother, moving cautiously because of the narrowness and Alec's delicate state. He laid down and pulled Alec into his arms, hugging him tightly.

Lance gave a nod and disappeared to find the doctor.
 
"We will," She promised, squeezing him gently, and then backed away so the twins could have some time together. She was so tired, and she must have been clenching her teeth because her jaw was sore. And her back hurt, but that was just from the baby, who had started kicking like crazy, "I know," Daizi mumbled to herself but not to herself, "it's been a very long week," and then sank into Dark's strong arms.

They sat back down on the other bed, after pulling the curtain back. Since it was unoccupied, it didn't seem like a problem. As they sat down, Dark felt his phone vibrate, and he took it out to see he had received an email, and reading it, a sly smile spread over his face. Then he looked at the twins, and murmured something to Daizi in Arabic, who smiled too at whatever it was he had told her.
 
After a few moments, the doctor and a nurse walked in, pausing a bit in confusion at the drawn curtains. "Uh, right, well, we're going to help Alec with his IV, we'll give you some informational pamphlets, and you can head on your way," the doctor said brightly.

Xander slid off the bed, and Alec let the nurse deal with the IV. Then she gave him the bag of his clothes, and Xander went with him into the bathroom to help him change. Once Alec was dressed, he walked out with Xander, and the nurse had a wheelchair ready. Apparently, it was hospital policy, but Alec didn't protest too much. He was weak, wobbly, and still somewhat lightheaded.

While the nurse oversaw Alec, the doctor made himself available to Dark and Daizi for questions.
 
Dark and Daizi promptly bombarded the doctor with questions about how best to care for Alec and what to do if it seemed like he wasn't improving. For his part, Dark used to be the underweight and malnourished teen, but his situation was different. They needed to be sure they got it right. After having all of the questions they could think of answered, they brought Alec to the car.

"You should try to rest when we get home," Daizi said, taking a deep breath the second she walked out of the hospital doors, after Alec had been formally discharged and they were set free.

"And you need to thank Enkidu," Dark said lightly, "He let us know you were in trouble. He is a very, very good boy."
 
"How are you feeling?" Xander asked as he got Alec settled in the car. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Alec told him, hugging the small bag of random items the hospital had returned to him. "I will give Enkidu all the treats I can."

Xander buckled up and made sure Alec was buckled in. "Me too. He's probably so freaked out right now."

"You should rest, too, Daizi. I'm worried about you," Alec told her as he leaned back. He was so tired, but he didn't want to close his eyes. What if when he opened them, this had been a dream and they were gone?
 
"I will if you will." She replied, settling into her seat. After buckling, she lay her hands on her belly and chuckled, "And if the baby lets me." Daizi reached one hand back towards the twins while Dark at last drove home. He rolled down the windows to air out the hospital scent, which his wife appreciated.

When they came inside, Enkidu immediately ran up to them, whining and wiggling amongst them, but Dark made him sit so he wouldn't throw either Alec or Daizi off balance. And the poor dog tried, but bounced, not quite wanting to obey but also knowing he should.

"I know I know," Daizi yawned, "it's been a scary day for you too, but it's okay now." She kicked off her shoes and touched the salt before petting her dog. Her bed called to her, but she couldn't bring herself to leave her family, and she wondered if it would be strange to drag them all up into her bedroom and have them all share the big bed together, and then they'd all get to rest and she wouldn't have to be apart from them. Maybe if they were younger it wouldn't be... but they were probably past the age where that was acceptable.
 
Alec took off his shoes and touched the salt, leaving his hand in the bowl longer than usual. Then he turned and knelt down, hugging the dog tenderly. "Thank you, Enkidu. Thank you very much. You're a good boy. Such a good boy." He sighed, burying his face in the dog's fur.

Xander managed a smile and rubbed Enkidu's head. "Good boy," he said softly.

Alec pulled his face away from the dog to say, "I want a shower. I stink."

"I'm watching," Xander said flatly. When Alec hesitated, he said, "Me or Dark, take your pick."

Alec looked up at Dark then back at Xander. "Okay. You."
 
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