How Green Becomes Wood

"Please--" Dark said quickly, stepping further into the room, the sight of more crumbs making him itch, "Why are you smashing cupcakes on the counter? You are upset, I see that," he grabbed a cutting board and slid it towards Xander, hoping it would help at least contain the mess, "why? What is going on?"

He ran through in his mind what they had in their cabinets and fridge. Did they have enough butter to make frosting? They could make cake balls, then, and Xander could smash without wasting food. Maybe? Did they have plastic gloves?
 
Xander glared at the cutting board. "It's a kitchen. Kitchens are made to get messy. That's the whole point of having every single surface wipable including the floor! Which you keep so clean I would totally eat off of!" He brought his fist down on the cupcake a couple of times just to make certain it was well and truly dominated. Then one more time for good measure. It looked like it still had some fight left in it. He started to sweep the crumbs off the cupboard onto the floor to make a point, but he couldn't quite bring himself to. Instead, he grabbed the cutting board and pushed the mangled pieces onto that instead. It got out his urge to swipe. Then again, maybe he could crush a few of these under the cutting board...
 
"They are," he agreed, "but not... needlessly. If you put the smashed parts into a bowl and washed your hands we could make cake pops, or... something." Dark sat down on a chair, watching Xander, "Do you want to talk about it at all? Or are you sending the Muffin Man a message?"
 
"If it was the Muffin Man, wouldn't these be muffins, not cupcakes?" Xander retorted. He left the latest cupcake victim to sit undisturbed for now and grabbed out a mixing bowl. He banged it down harder than strictly necessary and started scooping the unfortunate remains of his other victims into the bowl.

Once he had most of the big chunks up, Xander started picking up the little pieces, muttering as he did so, "Alec is being an ass, Sloan is being a hyperemotional girl, and Peter is being the clueless angel he normally is. Makes me wanna punch him sometimes."
 
"Probably, but there is not a Cupcake Man." He agreed. The tone Xander used for 'girl' did not feel... excellent, but that could be addressed later, "What exactly is going on with the group of you?" He asked, "I know Alec is going off with Crystal, and I know parts of Sloan's history with her, but... you all seem very... worked up," he eyed the smashed cupcakes.
 
Xander snorted and messed about with the crumbs, not really sure how to go about making cake pops. He wasn't even sure what they were. "Crystal's bad news, we all know that, even Alec knows that, but for whatever reason, he decided to give her a try as friends or whatever. That made Sloan completely lose her gourd. Yeah, the bitch hurt her bad, I got that, and I don't blame her for being upset, but now it's all about her. How dare Alec hang around with some girl who hurt Sloan's feelings? How dare he go be with her when Sloan tells him not to? She's acting all weepy and betrayed and junk and it's really annoying! Not to mention pissing me off that she thinks my brother, her so-called friend, would be that shallow. To be honest, I think that's the only reason Alec's been sticking around with Crystal longer, 'cause he's mad at Sloan for first ghosting him when he wouldn't do what she told him to, and then because she thinks he'd be a shallow ass and side with Crystal over her. He'd never do that. He was curious and wanted to see what was what, but Sloan's acting like he signed a pact in blood with the devil for the express reason of hurting her. So Alec's acting like an ass because Sloan's acting like a jerk, and Sloan's acting like a jerk because he's acting like an ass, and I've had it up to my eyebrows with both of them!"
 
Dark inhaled, "That is a lot," he agreed, "it would be a good idea for the two of them to talk to each other. Because if they just ignore each other, nothing will be resolved." He got up and went to the fridge to get the ingredients he knew they needed to make frosting, "but I am sorry you have been dragged into the middle of it."
 
"I'm about to take myself out of the middle if they don't start figuring things out for themselves," Xander grumbled. "I don't do delicate, I don't do negotiations, and I don't do niceties. I'm a total backward chauvinist, I know it, and I'm not changing fast enough to sort this out. I say let Peter smile that smile of his and put that accent to good use." He poked the bowl of crumbs. "What's a cake pop?"
 
"It is basically a ball of cake stuck onto a stick. We have kebab sticks, so we can use those," He explained, beginning to make frosting after washing his hands, "They do need to talk, regardless of if you get them to do so or not. I could, as a teacher, use my powers to put them in a room, but I doubt that will go over well." He sighed. It was strange how suddenly Alec appeared to want to assert his own independence and make his own choices. He glanced out the window towards Sloan's house, where, he guessed, some teenage girl was struggling just as badly as his teenagers were.
 
Xander washed his hands and watched Dark work for a bit before digging in himself. "We've never had friends before," he told Dark. "Not once. The closest we ever got was a guy who almost married our mum and... well, it didn't work out. I guess he's just hurt that friendship isn't working out like how Sesame Street taught us it would. And all the books say hormones basically turn all teens into, well, me. So good luck with that."
 
"Do you think that part of why he is upset is because he thinks he should be able to make friendships be more idealistic?" Dark asked, genuinely trying to help figure out what was going on with his other son, "and that he is trying to befriend Crystal so he can fix her? Or see if it is possible? As to hormones... I have been dealing with you two and a pregnant wife, and I have been teaching high school for a decade. I can survive hormones."
 
Xander sighed and pressed his hands deep into the cake pop dough as hard as he could. "I don't know. I don't know! I thought I knew him. I thought he was the only person in the world I did know, but he's been acting all screwball lately and won't... Ugh, I dunno. Maybe it's my fault. Probably is. Maybe I should have made him sit and talk or something. He makes me talk when I don't want to, but I don't know how to return the favor. I think he just... I think he just wants more people around him than just me."
 
"I do not think it is your fault," Dark said calmly, "but the good news is, neither of you are dead. And that means you still have time. You feel you should have made him sit and talk, you still can do so. And if you do not know how to, the least you can do is try. And if it does not go well, then you know you did your best, hm?" He looked at Xander, "it is healthy for him to want to have a wider net of people in his life. It is hard, but normal. How he is going about that," he shrugged, "but the soul of it is normal."
 
Xander hunched over the counter and heaved a sigh, suddenly very tired. "Sometimes," he admitted, "I wish it was back to just being us. Just him and me and facing stuff on our own. It was less complicated then. It sucked, but everything was black and white and simple." He shot Dark a wane smile. "Pretty messed up wish, huh?"
 
"No, I understand. Sometimes I wish it were just me and Daizi on our own again too," he said, looking earnestly at Xander, "We love you and Alec. And we are very excited for the baby. But our relationship, our marriage, it is different now. It is not a bad thing, but a different thing. But I wonder if your lives ever were black and white, or if you just pretended they were to make it easier on yourselves."
 
Xander shrugged. "Who knows? All I know is I'm tired of dealing. I'd rather make and destroy cupcakes." He scowled at the bowl of frosting. "That's not going to be enough for, like, three dozen good cupcakes. Nevermind, can always decorate those later. What colors?"
 
"Whatever colours you want, I suppose. We have the standard primary colours and green. This is your project, so you can pick. Or we can split the frosting in half and try to mix enough of the colours together in one so we can do black and white. I do not know how feasible that is." Dark said, going to get the rarely used food colouring. Dark, ironically, didn't like staining his mouth, and Daizi couldn't see, so most of their desserts were whatever colour was natural to them, "I wish I could tell you that it will not always be so bad, but unfortunately there will always be something new to deal with. You never have it all figured out."
 
"Black and red," Xander announced with a sharp nod. "That's what they'll be decorated in." He glanced at Dark. "I'll set up on the table so you can have the space to get dinner ready. I'm in your way here." He started moving everything over to give Dark more room, setting the cupcakes in order of when they'd come out of the oven so he could work with the coolest ones first.
 
"Alright," Dark agreed, helping him to move a few things before procuring the ingredients for dinner, "Other than everything with Alec and Sloan, how was school?"

As they cooked, Daizi came home, a bit earlier than usual, but not by a huge amount. She more or less dropped everything she had--shoes, cane, sunglasses--in a pile by the front door and shuffled into the kitchen.

"Hello, darling," Dark said, turning to greet her, "you are home early. Is everything okay?"

"Mmhm... My boss said it was okay," She crossed the kitchen, following the sound of Dark's voice, and hugged him from behind, resting her head against his back and looking mildly frustrated that she couldn't get as close to him as she used to be able to.
 
Xander glanced up from decorating the cupcakes. He'd been focused on experimenting with the black and red decor, and each cupcake was looking a little better than the last. He'd set five aside that he thought looked the best. A red rose with a black background, a black rose with a few red leaves, a skull with red eyesockets, a ladybug, and a spider with a black body and red legs. He'd even gotten a bit of raised portions on the spider's legs. The rest were mostly abstract designs and lots of flowers as he tried to get the flower petals right. He nudged the spider cupcake silently toward Daizi's usual spot and went back to work.
 
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