How Green Becomes Wood

"Those are always the best games. My cousins and I used to play Clue but we'd get to punch the killer and lock them outside for an hour. My parents hated it," he looked over at Stanley, who was actually purring for once, "eh, rats only live two to three years, and they're already about a year old and a half old. With the baby around, they may decide keeping rats are too much of a hassle since the cage takes so much time to clean. You may be able to swing a cat then. Although I know people who keep cats and rats, but their houses are much less full."
 
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"We promised to clean the rat cages and look after them until the baby is more settled in," Alec said, smiling at Stanley. "I wonder if they'd even notice an extra cat?"

Xander cackled. "Are you thinking about sneaking a new pet into the house? That's more like something I'd do!"

"I can always say he needs a place to stay, like how we did," Alec said, giving Xander the "innocent eyes."
 
"I'm legally responsible for these hairballs," Cooger said, "I can't pawn them off unless I can be completely certain they're in a good home and the dues are paid. And you can always just ask if you want to adopt a cat so badly. Luckily we know Enkidu has a good temperament with cats because he was a tiny puppy when he first being around them, and he's well trained."

He walked over and scooped up a different cat, "They used to have a cat. She used to follow Dark around everywhere. But you've gotta be careful with cats in that house," he turned the cat he was holding around to face them, "This little monster, for instance? You can't adopt her, because she likes to try to trip people on the stairs, and Daizi wouldn't be able to see her to avoid her."
 
Alec smiled and returned to giving Stanley his full attention. "I know. I was joking. Getting a new cat would be the worst idea right now." He buried both hands in the cat's fur, savoring the feeling, then drew back, not wanting to invade Stanley's space too much if the cat didn't want it.

Xander shrugged. "Easy solution. We just have to come visit more often so you can see 'your cat.' Right?" He glanced at Cooger.
 
"Oh, sure," Cooger nodded, "come over as often as you like. Once you get your license, I don't even gotta be home. Dark has a key to the cabin, so it's really no problem at all."

Stanley seemed to actually scowl when Alec drew his hand back and then forcefully pushed his head against his hand, purring more aggressively than before. Outside, meanwhile, Enkidu was still running back and forth in the yard, occasionally stopping to sniff something with too much intensity before continuing his gallop.
 
Alec's smile brightened when Stanley pushed against him, seeing more attention. He was only too happy to give it!

"I think I'll stick with dogs, myself, but these furry creatures are pretty cute," Xander admitted, scratching the top of the head of the cat Cooger held. "Speaking of dogs, I'm going to go check on Enkidu. Yell when food's ready?"

"After we've eaten our fill so we actually get some," Alec quipped.
 
"I sure like 'em," Cooger said, looking down at the feline menagerie, "and yeah, you should go play with him. I doubt he understands what's going on like we do..." He sighed, setting the cat down and then putting his hands in his pockets. He murmured something about how they'd be sure to call them, and tried to remind himself of what he had told Alec: they'd be fine, it wasn't that abnormal, everything would be okay. But damn if he didn't love Dark and Daizi, and the thought of what they were going through was hard. At that moment, although there was no way for him to know it, not much had changed. Nine minutes had turned into seven-and-a-half, and Dark had almost finished turning their bedroom into a birthing room while Daizi bounced mildly on the exercise ball. Not having that information, though, left Cooger imagining his friend howling in pain and...

He pushed his hair back and went to get one more soda, this time for himself, only because it was too early to start drinking, "Don't worry, I'll make enough, Alec. I'm not gonna let you starve or nothing."
 
Xander headed out to play with Enkidu, feeling as restless as the dog and preferring some wild exercise instead of mild talking.

Alec looked up at Cooger, frowning slightly as he tried to remember. Had Cooger ever answered this particular question? He might have, but Alec couldn't remember for certain. "Would you ever, ever want a miniature human of your own?" he risked asking Cooger.
 
"Not really, no." Cooger replied, turning back to towards Alec with a calm smile, "I like my solitude too much, and I've never really liked babies much. Or toddlers. Once they're about eight or so, then I really hit my stride, but until then," he shrugged, "plus, you know, once you have a kid, that's basically it, there's no going back, and they'll just be in your life until you die, unless you seriously screw up and they stop talkin' to you. If I suddenly decided cats weren't really my thing, well, I could foster out all these fellas and it'd be no problem. And Hank's a senior, so I'd keep him for his remaining years and be free, you can't do that to a person without totally traumatizing them. Nah," he shook his head, "I'm gladly child free."
 
"With the exception of kids that you can eventually send back," Alec said with a quirk of a smile. The smile faded, though, and his hands stopped petting Stanley. "Cooger, what if something bad does happen? What if the baby... or Daizi... or both... what happens then?" He stared down at the cat, not really seeing him. He felt selfish fearing for what might happen to himself and Xander when Dark's world would be utterly destroyed, but he couldn't help it, either.
 
"Well." Cooger said slowly, sitting down on the floor with Alec, "if something happens to the baby, then Dark and Tarot will do their best to pull themselves back together like they have before, and we have a funeral, and we plant something in the garden to remember her by," he did his best not to show his fears about how hard they'd take the loss of this baby, but he couldn't hide the pain in his face when he spoke about what they would do if something happened to Daizi, "then we would love her daughter very, very much, and raise her to know it was not her fault, and help keep her memory alive... and you would be tasked with keeping her garden alive, and we would all take comfort in knowing that Tarot would want the baby to live instead of her, because she's a mother... And if they both..." He scratched his beard, looking out the window, "Then we are all very grateful Dark will have the two of you living with him, so he does not have an empty house. And I would probably move in, for a time."

His gaze made its way back to Alec, "but none of that will happen. That kid is fighting to live and has been since her conception, literally. And Daizi is healthy and stubborn." For once, he didn't use her nickname.
 
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Alec leaned toward Cooger but resisted nestling into him like he would Daizi or Xander. "Thank you," he said softly. He gripped his hands tightly together. "I... I am a terribly selfish person, Cooger, a terribly selfish person. If I had to choose, I would choose Daizi. No matter what, I want her to live, and I'd pick her, not the baby. That's just awful. I'm glad it's not up to me. I just hope that no matter what happens, I can do what's right for them."
 
Cooger leaned against Alec, meeting him partway like he expected he should, "You're not selfish, kid. The only one out of us who would pick the baby over Daizi is Daizi. Even Dark, who wants this kid more than anything, almost anything, would choose Daizi, if he could. But, if it comes down to it, and there is that choice, he'd have to choose the baby, because Daizi wouldn't forgive him if she learned what he had done." He shrugged, looking down at Alec, "but ask yourself, little Sage, would Tarot's doctor be okay with the home birth if there was a real chance of something going wrong? And do you think if the doc were against it, Dark wouldn't force her to get hospital care?"
 
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"I guess I have to trust that the answer is no and yes to the appropriate questions," Alec said with a wobbly smile. "I'm sorry. I know you're probably even more scared than me since you saw it happen before. Thank you for talking with me about it."
 
"We're all scared," Cooger admitted, "but it's good to remember that Daizi, even with how freaked out hospitals make her, went twice within twenty-four hours to make sure she and that bean are okay. I guess she's bigger than a bean, now. But this time is different than last time, you understand that right? Last time, nothing anybody could've done would have saved their baby, he was just too young. It would've taken a medical miracle, it would've made the news. Now, this baby's got, like, right around the same survival rate as if she'd been born on time. I mean, I won't bullshit you, she'll need a bit of help to get going, but I started doing some reading last night when they went for the first time. She'll be okay."
 
"They are going to need a lot of help, all of them," Alec said quietly, wiping his eyes. "I think they... they don't want to think about that. They think they'll be superhuman parents, and I think... I think Dark is scared of a lot more than just having her... and they both think we won't be much help because we don't want to do things like change diapers, but taking care of everything else is helpful, isn't it? Looking after the pets, Xander keeping us fed, cleaning the house, all of that. Surely they know that we do want to help, right? And I just hope they won't overextend themselves. I'm just... I'm worried about so much, and now it's all happening at once. I thought we'd have more time to get everything sorted."
 
"They don't think they're going to be super parents," Cooger softly corrected, "they want to be, they wish they could be, but besides each other, I'm the one they open up to the most, kid. Tarot is terrified her disability will make her a worse, or at the very least disappointing, parent. She'll never be able to look at that baby's drawings, see her do a cartwheel, she'll never be able to answer when the baby points in the distance and asks what something is. And you can already guess at why Dark doesn't think he'll be a super parent. They both believe they are going to mess up and let her down in a million tiny ways, and they're probably right. It won't make 'em bad parents or nothing, although right now they worry that it will, and they're wrong there, but all parents mess up, and yeah, when Dark can't go to the fourth of July celebrations, that'll let her down, and when Tarot has to say she doesn't know what that sign says, that'll let her down. But publicly admitting that?" He whistled, "Now that just sounds like admitting defeat. And that's not them, do you think those two would ever take a back seat and let society dictate if they'll be good parents or not just based on their past, mental health, and physical differences? Absolutely not, they're going to be incredible parents, and that baby is going to be so loved and cared for that..."

He trailed off, looking down at Alec. Stanley had rolled onto his back, "And Dark also has to show that, because he was so unloved. If he never had someone growing up to love him, to make him feel safe, well, he can't go back in time to save himself, but he'll make damn sure his child won't suffer the same fate. And yes, taking care of the house is helpful, and they know it. But they want to be superhuman parents to you and Xander, too. And they want to make sure you feel loved and safe and not let down too, and not like now that there's a person with their genetic material in the picture that y'all no longer need to be looked after." He smiled slightly, nudging the teen, "and they keep hoping you'll offer to help directly with the baby because they still worry you two'll reject her as some interloper who ruined what you had going for you."
 
Alec bit back a smile. He'd thought that Dark, Daizi, and Cooger had nothing in common, but it turned out, they did have one thing in common: All three made very good, very in-depth speeches. Cooger's were just fewer. Just as good, though, in his way. He reached out and rubbed Sanley's ear with one finger, being very careful as he thought about what Cooger said.

"I suppose it makes sense. I just hope there will be people to catch them when they fall down from exhaustion because I don't think Xander and I are strong enough. Especially with how big and tall Dark is," he said, half joking. More seriously, he said, "I don't think either of us would ever reject her. It'll be awkward, sure, and maybe a little strained sometimes, but we still care about her. We always will, if only because her being happy will make Dark and Daizi happy."
 
"Neither of them are alone," Cooger said seriously, looking down at Alec, "and you and Xander ain't the only ones they've got in their corner. I will be there for them all the time, and I'm sure that new friend of Tarot's will be too, and her boss and coworkers are all majorly supportive. It'll be grand, everything will work out just fine," He sat back, scooping another cat into his lap, "I don't think you'll reject her either. Babies are weird, everyone thinks they're supposed to immediately love them, and some do, but they're still a stranger, and love at first sight's for suckers. You'll probably meet her and be like, 'yep, that sure is a baby,' but in a few months time..." He shrugged, "Just try to remember, when it is hard, and you do feel left out or ignored, that it ain't her fault. She didn't ask to be born any more that you did. And Dark and Tarot certainly never planned for her arrival neither."
 
"You sure know a lot about babies for not wanting one yourself," Alec noted. He straightened and shook himself before giving Stanley one last scratch. Then he pushed himself to his feet, commenting, "The pizza rolls are probably done by now. We should get them out before they burn." He reached out with both hands, offering to help Cooger up.
 
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