How Green Becomes Wood

"Thank you for that. Especially with it being Thanksgiving next week... No, I do not have anything else. Thank you for calling." He sighed, and hung up after making goodbyes. Then, after tossing the notebook aside, he rubbed his face and let himself flop back on the couch.
 
Up on the stairs, Alec heard the murmur of Dark's voice. He started down, curious to see who he was talking to but stopped when he realized it was likely on the phone. He hesitated, curious, but Dark's bleak tone filled him with sadness he couldn't fully explain. Quietly, he went back upstairs to his room and pretended he hadn't heard anything.
 
Dark hadn't noticed Alec while he was mid-conversation, and after it was over he lay on his back feeling sort of like he needed to cry, but also not sure if he could. But it didn't really matter, because Ivy could, and did, so only moments after letting himself lie down, he sat back up and picked her up, checked her diaper, and after spending some time trying to soothe her, brought her upstairs to Daizi, figuring she was probably hungry.

Then he went back downstairs, after seeing his suspicion was correct, and just went to stand out on the back porch for a little while.
 
It was about dinner time, so Xander finally dragged himself out of the shed. First, he made sure to put everything back neatly. It was more out of a desire to stall than any urge for neatness, but it did mean he could find what he needed faster. He headed up to the house, hands firmly in pockets, shoes scuffing the grass.

Inside, Alec had finally come down and started hunting through the freezer to see what might suit everyone's appetite. He didn't feel like eating, but he knew he should.
 
Dark was still standing on the back porch when Xander emerged, just resting his arms on the railing and looking up at the sky. It was getting colder, and he probably should have put on a jacket before stepping outside, but he hadn't thought about it. In a few weeks, it would be snowing. In a few weeks the twins would have been there for a year, and it was a really irritating year because it was a great one: he took the boys in, had a lovely weekend away with his wife, and had a baby-- but it was also terrible and stressful and his mental health hadn't been this heavily overburdened since the stillbirth. So even though it had been a really, really great year... But his therapist always said he thought too far ahead. It wasn't even December yet.

When he spotted Xander, he smiled vaguely and greeted him, "Is the shed warm enough?" He asked, because it was easier, "Let me know if you need a space heater, okay?"

Daizi came shuffling downstairs, carrying a very-awake Ivy. One of them looked content, the other still exhausted, but even so, when she heard the rustling in the kitchen, she smiled brightly. Even though from the sound, she couldn't tell who it was, she knew it was one of her family members, and that was a good enough reason to smile, "I can't tell if you're in the fridge or freezer," She said, "but I hope you find something good." Daizi came extremely close to making a joke about avoiding the stored bags of milk she had to store in there, but if it was Xander, he'd definitely expire on the spot, and with Alec it was a 50/50 chance, so it was better to avoid it.
 
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Xander glanced at Dark then away. His hands pushed harder into his pockets. "No, it's fine. Too small for a heater," he mumbled. "It's good." He moved at an angle to climb up onto the deck as far as physically possible away from Dark while still utilizing the stairs. His stomach twisted and knotted restlessly, caught in a battle of annoyance at himself and at this man he genuinely respected. He didn't want to deal with it. He just wanted to get food and ignore it all.

Alec looked up toward Daizi and forced himself to smile because he knew she could hear the smile in his voice. "I think I have. Aunty left a lot of good options, and Xander didn't want to make dinner tonight." Well, he assumed Xander didn't want to cook because he'd stayed in the shed until nearly time to eat, not giving himself any time to cook, and Dark had been holding Ivy.
 
"I will still get you one for winter," He said, turning back to look at the sky. The sun was already setting even though it wasn't that late. It always surprised him, despite it happening every year, "I doubt snow and frost will keep you from working in there, and I do not want you to freeze. I am sure we can find one that fits."

Dark seemed different that night, like he was somehow smaller. More human. He was grounded but withdrawn partway into himself, and he was very still in the calm chill of early evening.

"I can help cook, if you need me too, I just have to set her down. Or finally take the sling out of its box. I'm glad Amty left us so much food, it's made all of this easier." She came closer to him, just as warm as she always was, even though she was still upset from the afternoon, "and I really appreciate how helpful you and your brother have been. I don't know what we'd do without you, habibi."
 
Xander paused on the stairs and studied Dark for a moment. He frowned, wavering, then shook his head and kept going. He wasn't Dark's nanny. He wasn't going to ask hi what was wrong. Besides, he knew what was wrong, or at least the cause of it. What would be the point?

Alec smiled faintly as he tried to make out the instructions written on the top of the frozen dinner. He was getting pretty good at deciphering Egyptian Aribic when it came to food, mostly out of self-preservation. "I'm sure you would have figured something out. You always do. Looks like I need to preheat the oven, and then it'll be ready in... fifteen minutes."
 
"Amty is amazing," Daizi chuckled, sitting down in her usual space since her help wasn't needed and adjusting how she was supporting Ivy, "and I guess I probably would have, but this is... I'm just very grateful, Alec. In about five weeks, she'll be developmentally one month old, and then we'll all be able to relax a bit more. It's always the first month that's the hardest, right? And because she's early we get an extra six weels of the first four weeks. But we're getting there, and Dark and I will be able to start taking more chores back so you and Xander can start going back to just being high schoolers... How is school going?"
 
Alec wondered if they'd ever been "just high schoolers." Perhaps for a few brief moments after they'd first arrived here and had settled down, maybe. After that... No, wait, last year's talent show. He'd felt pretty normal and accepted after that. Why did the new year have to reset everything? He realized he was staring at the oven without having actually turned it on and quickly did so.

"School is going fine," he said. "There's nothing to report, really. A few interesting rumors, and that's about it."

Actually, he had no idea what was going on in school. Not really. His already shaky grades had dropped significantly, he wasn't paying attention in class, and he felt on autopilot during lunch. The worst bit was that he didn't feel guilty for any of it. Well, sometimes during lunch he felt a bit guilty when Sloan had to repeat herself because he wasn't paying attention, but he didn't care about the rest of it. It was just stuff that happened around him until he could go home.

Xander walked into the kitchen and looked around. Daizi, Ivy, Alec, and no food. Frozen food on the counter waiting to go into the oven, but no eatable food. He turned and walked back out without a word.
 
"That's good," She said softly, before falling quiet for a few moments, but Ivy made a tiny noise, so the room wasn't. There was no way to know he was lying, Daizi had just assumed if there was a problem the school would call. And it was almost midterms, so she could send Dark to parent-teacher conferences, so she trusted him.

"Do you know what we haven't done in awhile, habibi? We haven't played music together. Maybe after dinner we should, just us," Daizi suggested, "I miss getting to spend a lot of time with you, just you."
 
"The house has been awfully devoid of music lately," Alec agreed. "It would be nice to maybe sit and play a bit." The oven indicated it was preheated, so he slid in the tray and made certain to set and start the timer. He checked three times to make certain it was the right amount of time and that he had indeed started it. "If you're not too tired, that is. Grown-ups aren't really built to only get two hours of sleep here and there, so I understand why you're tired."
 
"No, they're not, you're right. But they're also not meant to do nothing all day but feed a baby and sleep, and I haven't really done much for me since she was born." Daizi said, only really realizing that fact as she said it, "and what I want today, more than anything, is to spend some time with you."
 
"Really?" Alec asked, surprised and a little puzzled that that was what she would choose to do when she could do anything. "Alright, if that is what you want to do, that is what we can do. What should we play? A piano and harp accompaniment?"
 
"Of course. I'm the one who taught you, so I have to make sure you're still up to par, right?" She teased lightly and reached one hand out to him, "but I like making music, and it's more fun to do it with someone, and I miss you. We used to spend much more time together."
 
"We did, but I don't mind sharing," he reassured her. He moved closer automatically and touched her hand so she knew where he was. "Other people need your attention more right now, and that's okay. I'll just take my turn later." He pitched his voice to be lightly teasing.
 
She gripped his hand and smiled, but then after a second she let go and instead pulled him into a side hug, "I love you, Alec. I told you that wasn't going to change, and it hasn't. I'm still here, I'm exhausted, but I'm here."
 
Alec hesitated for a moment before leaning into the hug and returning it with one of his own. "I know," he said quietly. "I know. I am glad you are still here, and I am glad Ivy is here. I'm sorry that things aren't as... celebratory as they could be."
 
She rubbed his back with the one hand she managed to have free, "It hasn't gone how any of us have imagined," She replied, her voice breaking only slightly, "but that's been true all of all our lives, right?" She kissed his head, "But, still, it could be worse, right? We're all still healthy, and we're all still together. Everything else is just details, right? Oh my sweet, sweet boy... You don't have to apologize to me, you've done nothing wrong."
 
Alec managed a smile. "It'll all work out fine," he said softly. Then he pulled away gently. "I should set the table and get it ready for dinner. Do you just want water? I can get you that."
 
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