How Green Becomes Wood

"I'm going to drop food on her head!"

"You are not going to drop food on her head."

"I am!" Daizi giggled, which made Dark smile.

"I can always feed you," He offered, mostly teasing, "for practice."

"What, for when I'm old and feeble and need you to take care of me?"

"No," Dark laughed, which made Daizi realize it had been awhile since she last heard that sound, "for her, for Ivy-Qadira. When she is on solids."

"Oh." She replied, and laughed too, which lightened his mood a little bit more. There were still claws stuck deep beneath his skin that he couldn't shake loose: thoughts about CPS and his own childhood and how there had been nobody there to save him, and that his only salvation had been the destruction of his country and home. And other thoughts, too. But Daizi was laughing, and their baby was healthy, and the twins were... Well, he was worried about them, too, but he let himself think that maybe, maybe, they wouldn't be reported again.
 
Once Alec finished cleaning up the kitchen, he tiptoed up the stairs, trying not to distract Dark and Daizi as he slipped away to his room. It was good to hear the laughter in their voices again! He just desperately hoped that things would get better now. That everything involving the CPS would just fade away and be forgotten. That they could move on again.
 
After Daizi had successfully nursed Ivy back into a drowsy state, she passed her over to Dark and kissed him quickly. Like Ivy, she had gotten into the habit of napping after feedings so when she stood up, she stretched and yawned, but it wasn't time for her to sleep yet. Instead, Daizi walked upstairs and knocked on Alec's door, "Habibi? Do you still want to play music together?"
 
Alec popped his head out almost instantly. "Are you still interested in that?" he asked, having fully expected her to have forgotten and moved on mentally. Smiling, he came out the rest of the way. "I'd like that, if you're up for it."
 
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Daizi replied, seeming genuinely confused, "I'm stressed and sleep deprived, but neither of those things make me any less interested in spending time with you."
 
Smiling all the way, Alec walked with her to the music room. "I just want to be sure you are alright. I love spending time with you, but not if you're too tired. I want you to take care of yourself, but I also want to be with you. It's a constant battle of wills between desires," he said in his most melodramatic tone, heaving a mock sigh.
 
"Do you remember when you were discharged from the hospital, and we were all so tired we napped all four of us in my bed?" Daizi asked, tipping her head back somewhat, "I loved that. I'm sure it was a little too much for Xander to handle, but it felt safe. Like Dark and I were protecting you two. And Ivy, I suppose, since she was there too." She sighed, that moment feeling like a million years ago. It was only 19 weeks in the past, and it intrigued her that she was able to do that math. What would it feel like when she couldn't? "Sometimes, taking care of myself means spending time with you."
 
Alec glanced away, fidgetting with the cuff of his sleeve. He didn't like thinking about that time. He knew what she meant, but it wasn't a time he liked even really acknowledging it. He shook off the thought. "That was a lovely nap," he agreed. "A safe one. I loved it." Walking into the music room, he moved instantly to the piano. "What would you like to play?"
 
She reached out and lightly touched his elbow, "I don't really mind. I just wanted to spend time with you." It wasn't what she wanted to say, there were questions. She was blind but not stupid, and she had noticed how he stopped calling her 'mum,' and she noticed Xander's mood, and could sense this strange tension, even before CPS, and she had no idea how to address it or fix it and she worried it had started before October 11th, when she went into labour, but somehow she missed it, and how on earth was she supposed to address it now? Alec wasn't going to talk to her, because Alec always wanted to protect and shield her, and not make waves. But she wanted to fix it, she wanted to make it better.

But instead she let go, and went to sit at her harp, "How about you start, and I'll match you?"
 
Alec thought about what to play. After a bit, he decided to play Pachelbel's cannon in C. It was sometimes considered a boring and over played song, but he found it rather soothing and a good way to warm up. Plus, he loved how the harp sounded with it. Next they could play something more contemporary.
 
After waiting a few moments to be certain she knew what song Alec was playing, she joined in. It had been since a few days before Daizi went into labour that she had last played the standing harp (although she had made the occasional use of the lap harp Xander had wrangled for her), but even then it had been more sparse. In her third trimester, she found the little stool uncomfortable and didn't like the way the soundbox felt against her belly, which seemed to only get in the way. She was pleasantly surprised, and more than a little shocked, to find neither problem persisted--and the loss of the former issue meant good things for her physical healing.

The song was pleasant enough, and as it concluded, Daizi took control and began to play "A Thousand Years" which, admittedly, was probably just as overplayed as Pachabel's cannon. But she knew it worked well on both instruments, and yes, it was the cliché song at all weddings and also the Twilight song, but that didn't stop it from moving her. Especially now. She let the first few verses and choruses go by, but surprised herself again by realizing she was singing along: I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
 
Alec did not know "A Thousand Years" well, but he could follow along. He got better as each verse progressed, focused on playing. So focused, in fact, that he didn't realize Daizi was singing along at first. He listened as he played, not even trying to sing as he knew none of the words.
 
At the conclusion of the song, Daizi pulled her hands back from the strings and quickly wiped her face and eyes. She wasn't crying perse, but there were one or two rogue tears the song had drawn out of her. There was some embarrassment at crying because of the wedding song from Twilight but... Everything had turned out to be so much harder than she expected it to be. The sleep deprivation, that Daizi had been prepared for. That didn't bother her. Leaving her meals half finished was just mildly irritating. But the CPS visits, and whatever was happening with her boys, and the guilt she still carried over not being able to keep Ivy inside of her for longer. And she feared Xander just wanted nothing to do with her baby--she could understand why he didn't want to hold her, but it felt to her like he never so much as spoke to her, like he'd much rather pretend she not exist, and after his behavior tonight, she worried that possible want of his was why.

Daizi was so happy, anytime Ivy snuggled against her, or held her finger, or nursed, she was so happy. And when she nursed, Daizi adored the way Ivy rested her hand against her breast. The way Alec interacted with Ivy was also so beautiful, and so special. So Daizi was happy, and felt no regrets over having this baby, but at the same time, it felt like everything around them was fracturing. Again. And she had wanted this so desperately.

"Your turn," She said, placing her hands back on the strings, biting back her feelings because this was meant to be time spent with her son. She could cry about it later.
 
Alec hesitated, sorting through his brain for a good song. Finally, nervously, he started playing a song by Avicii, "The Days." It was a melancholic song, one that to him felt like an urging to hold onto the good memories, to not lose the happy things in life. He might have been wrong, but that was how he heard the song. He tapped out the tune carefully, following a cover he'd found by someone called Jasmine Thomspon. The first time he'd found it, he'd listened to it over and over until Xander had found him crying and freaked out thinking something was seriously wrong. He stopped listening to it for a while after that. Now, he hoped that while the song was sad, it would fit with the theme he and Daizi had found themselves in. He just wanted Daizi to be happy.

These are the days we've been waiting for
On days like these, who could ask for more?
Keep them coming 'cause we're not done yet
These are the days we won't regret
These are the days we won't forget
 
It took a few moments for Daizi to understand the song Alec was playing well enough to join in, and when she joined in, she allowed herself to just give in to the music and played with her eyes shut. When Alec's song ended, she went straight into a new one, and just bounced around a time or two.

On the first song, she was a little out of practice, but soon fell back into it as if she hadn't been, and was so absorbed into it that, had she been sighted, she still wouldn't have notice Dark standing just to the side of the doorway, trying really hard not to be noticed, holding a very awake baby, who was about as wide-eyed as a 5 week old premie could be.
 
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Alec fumbled a bit, sadly out of practice on the piano. He hadn't been keeping up with his music practice as well, though he did still play the guitar on a fairly regular basis. He was starting to relax and enjoy the music in spite of his mistakes. This was what he enjoyed doing. This was what he loved about being a part of a family.

He caught sight of Dark first, though he had no idea how long he'd been standing there, and jumped, hitting a sour patch of notes. "Oh. Sorry," he mumbled bashfully.
 
The wrong notes startled both Daizi and Ivy, but nothing made Dark flinch. Miraculously, despite being spooked, Ivy didn't begin to cry.

"Wait, what happened?" Daizi asked, immediately laughing because, not being able to see Dark, to her is sounded like a cat had leapt onto the piano (impossible) or Alec had suddenly decided to slam on the keys (improbable).

"Oh, no, I am sorry," Dark replied at the same instant Daizi was asking for clarification, "I did not want to interrupt. I was trying to be subtle, I heard you from downstairs, and I thought she might like to hear it. She seemed to be enjoying it. And she heard it a lot before being born, so this is her first time hearing it without distortion."
 
Alec relaxed again and smiled. "She can come in and listen if she wants. At least, I don't mind. Does she have a request? Maybe, um," he quickly tried to think of the most improbable song, "Baby by Bieber?" He tapped out the first few notes as if he was about to play, but he didn't actually know the rest of the song.
 
Dark glanced down at Ivy, who was seeming to get a little bit more grumpy now that the music had stopped, "You do not like teen pop, right Ivy? No, of course not."

"Oh, so that's what happened. Goose, you've really got to stop stalking around the place," Daizi teased, "It's okay if she's in here, I've never had a problem with her listening before. She felt the harp's vibrations before she could hear."

When Ivy squirmed in his arms and began to suck on her fist, Dark marveled at how early this person had been experiencing the world, and how soon Daizi had gotten to share experiences with her, "What do you think, baby? Do you want to sit here with Mama and Alec?"

"Here," Daizi offered as she began to play the melody to the lullaby she sung to Ivy, but had also sung to Alec at times when he had been crying on her shoulder. She started slowly, and softly told Alec the notes so he could join in, if he wanted to.
 
Alec hesitated only a moment before joining in. It was a special song. A loving song. A song that, to his surprise, he didn't really want to share with Ivy. It was silly and he knew it. It was a song for soothing people who were upset, it was not his personal song to share privately with Daizi. Besides, Ivy was Daizi's real child. It made perfect sense for her to share the song with her. He pushed aside the tinge of jealousy feeling ashamed and tried to play his absolute best for Ivy. What kind of a person was jealous of a baby? Ridiculous.
 
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