How Green Becomes Wood

"I already am the coolest uncle ever," He replied simply, "and because Christmas is for children, it's meant to be a perfect day, and making y'all clean takes away from that. Just enjoy yourselves. Ya know, be kids."

"What if they like cleaning?" Dark asked, which made Cooger snort.

"Then we keep them from cleaning so they could learn to relax."
 
"Oh!" Alec blurted suddenly. "We forgot!" He set his art set carefully on the table next to his headphones. "We got you something. I hope it's okay that it's a joint gift."

"I'll get it," Xander said, standing up and heading upstairs at a quick trot.
 
"A gift for me?" He asked, blinking and sitting up straight, "Look at these kids, see, Dark, Tarot, they care about me."

"We care about you too, we bought you a present too," Daizi said flatly.

"I know, I've got one for you both, and Ivy, I was just waiting until it was just us adults to distribute," He laughed, "we so rarely get to spend time just the three of us anymore. Not your fault though," he said to the twins, "It's real sweet you thought to get me something."
 
Alec shrugged, not sure how to take that statement, but he was saved by Xander coming down with a really big box. It was wrapped nicely and in Christmas paper, but they'd run out of paper halfway through. So, one half of the box had blue paper with snowflakes, and the other half had purple paper with little reindeer all over it. It was also massive, easily big enough to fit a microwave inside, but shockingly light. Xander acted like it was heavy, though, and set it on the floor next to Cooger. He hoped Cooger would think the box was much heavier than it actually was and overcompensate when he picked it up.

"There. Got it down," Xander huffed. It was actually quite unwieldy even if it wasn't heavy.
 
Cooger and Dark watched Xander bring the box in, and one of them guessed the box wasn't as heavy as he made it out to be. The other one smashed it against his nose as he lifted it up.

"Okay, alright," Cooger grumbled, rubbing his face, "nice prank, very funny. It's nicely wrapped though," he said, then unwrapped the gift.
 
"Sorry," Xander said with an unrepentant smirk.

Inside the box were two more boxes. These two boxes, however, had been carefully designed, glued together, cut apart, and painted to create something new. One was a toy for cats where you could hide treats inside the holes, and some of the holes had fake grass, and one had a tiny fake mouse attached by a string. The other was designed to look like a barn and had been painted red with a short but sloped roof. The words "cat barn" were painted on the front, and there were two holes for cats to come in or out and a soft bed inside. Underneath the two cat toy boxes was a dark green "life is good" shirt that said, "You can't buy love, but you can rescue it." The word Love had a paw print in place of the O.
 
"Well look at that," Cooger murmured, looking through everything, having passed Ivy back to her parents before picking up the gift, "These are just great, thank you. The cats will love it, and this shirt is really nice. Thank you." He folded the shirt over his knee and examined the two cat items, "I go through so many toys, and beds, this is really really great."
 
"We talked about getting you something non-cat related, but we weren't sure what you'd like," Alec admitted.

Xander gave him a little nudge to tell him to stop fretting. "I figured with that many cat toys would be appreciated. I put them together, but he painted them. We both picked out the shirt."

Alec smiled and glanced between the three adults. "Well, we should head upstairs to our room and leave you three here alone. Being adults, I guess we can trust you to behave."

Xander picked up his puzzle and headphones. "Does Ivy count as a person?"

"No, I don't think so, not yet anyway," Alec said, retrieving his gifts. "It's not like we can take her with us anyway. Good night everyone!"
 
"Well I really appreciate it, and so will the cats," Cooger said warmly, squeezing Alec with one arm. When he released him, he said, "Yeah, go upstairs, chill out for a bit. Probably more fun than hanging with us, anyway."

"Of course Ivy counts as a person!" Daizi said, somehow both very sweet and loving but indignant, "She's just a tiny person, and she doesn't realize she is a person yet. But she still is one. And you could bring her with you, if you wanted to, you'd just need to bring her back or come and get me in... Probably about an hour from now?"

But she knew that probably wasn't really something they were looking to do, especially since Xander wasn't willing to hold her, and it seemed unlikely they'd have fun going over their spoils while one of them was saddled with a baby. But it wasn't like she wanted to pawn Ivy off, either, so she wasn't bothered. And with the twins upstairs, it did free her up a little, because Dark, of course, had no issue with her breastfeeding around him, and Cooger wasn't phased by it either, which meant she didn't have to interrupt her life at all.

He kept them up late, and although it was intentional on his part (mostly, he did also miss just hanging out on his friends' couch, which meant 'late' arrived much more quickly than he thought it would), to Dark and Daizi it just felt like time had gotten away from them. Typical for her, Daizi fell asleep with her head on Dark's shoulder, and not too long after, since Cooger was once more holding Ivy, he fell asleep too.

Then, the next phase of Cooger's plan began. Amongst other gifts, he had bought them a baby sling, which he used himself that night to clean up the house--to Dark's standards, or as close as he could manage--while still giving their sometimes demanding baby the comfort she needed. Of course she still woke regularly throughout the night, but with the exception of feedings, Cooger refused to let them do anything, and threatened to hog tie them to the couch if they dared refuse to sleep and not let him take over for one night.

Come morning, when the twins came downstairs, it was to two shockingly well rested foster parents and a very American breakfast, "They ain't got bacon, and I wasn't about to run to the store to buy some at 6 a.m., so you'll have to do without." was all Cooger really said about the night, although he had changed into the t-shirt the twins had bought him. The one he wore to the party needed to be washed.

Next was that awkward week between Christmas and New Years where everything felt a bit off and strange and nobody knew what day it was--although, with a newborn, neither Dark nor Daizi had really known with full certainty what day it was in weeks--and then New Year's Eve. Dark bought champagne and sparkling grape juice and made seafood, and expressed great gratitude throughout the evening about how they lived in a neighborhood who didn't shoot off fireworks, although he did grow more somber the closer it got to midnight, which wasn't true for Daizi. Still, he did participate in the countdown exactly as everyone else did--and fortunately, Ivy was awake in that period, so they didn't have to be concerned about waking her. Unfortunately, Enkidu was not a fan of the horns or cheering.

When the clock struck twelve, Daizi turned to Dark and kissed him, partially because it was a New Years Tradition, but not exclusively, and as she pulled away she murmured, "Happy Birthday, Darling."
 
Xander and Alec enjoyed their time off, but they were starting to get restless, especially Xander. There weren't any good winter sports nearby, and he wasn't about to ask Dark to take him anywhere, so instead he ended up shoveling the driveway. For the entire neighborhood. And making an entire army of tiny snowmen that were no bigger than a foot tall and sometimes shorter. Otherwise, it was indoor activities and trying to stay out of Daizi's way and not wake up Ivy constantly. For his part, Alec mostly focused on his art and putting a dent in his reading list.

New Year's eve arrived with a bit more excitement, and they cheered and enjoyed themselves, and the next day, Alec tried to be the first to wish Dark a happy birthday, not realizing Daizi had already gotten in the first one. The twins both gave him presents and then insisted that he should take the day off and relax while they did the work.
 
Dark and Daizi both had been able to tell the boys were growing restless, but it was complicated because they both felt so limited in what they could do, since Ivy, amazing as she was (the start of her 12th week of life, three months old! Although, not quite so developed), seemed in some ways like a chain to the home. They weren't yet comfortable with the idea of taking her anywhere other than the pediatrician's, although, like the boys, Daizi was growing a bit restless, too, so soon she knew she'd snap and demand to go somewhere, even if the boys were too polite to.

"Oh, you did not have to," Dark said softly while looking over the gifts the twins had given him, "Thank you, but it was just Christmas, you do not have to do anything else for me." But the softness in his eyes betrayed how meaningful the gesture was to him, and Daizi, who normally teased him for his ardent refusal to accept nice things, just rested her hand on his shoulder and said little.

"I keep trying to tell you, Goose, people caring about you is inevitable." She said, and then, after a moment, "but it is not a funeral. What do you want to do today?"

"I never know..." He shrugged awkwardly, "I just enjoy being with all of you."
 
"We could have our own impromptu karaoke and introduce Ivy to more music," Alec suggested.

"That's something you want to do and good for Ivy, not something he'd ever want," Xander pointed out. "How about something like watching a movie? Playing chess? Or a painting thing where we follow Bob Ross? I hear that's quite a thing."
 
Dark couldn't quite think of anything he'd like to do less on his birthday than karaoke, but since Xander pointed that out first, he just said, "Chess could be nice. Not all day, not a tournament, but a game or two... Following Bob Ross is not something Daizi can do, and I do not want her to feel excluded."

"I'll survive," She assured him, but he shook his head:

"I also think relaxing landscapes are not really my art style," He said, joking mildly, but then added, "really, we do not need to make a fuss. I know you want to, and I really appreciate that," the tone in his voice confirmed it, "but really, I do not need it. It is enough to be with you, and be calm, with no new calamities. We can put on a movie and play chess, but I am okay."
 
"Chess tournament it is!" Alec said cheerfully, heading off to get the board.

"Dude, he just said," Xander protested.

"We only have the one board and so many pieces," Alec pointed out. "We're going to have to take turns somehow unless we want to learn four-sided chess."

"Ugh, count me out," Xander shuddered.

"So, winners play losers for a casual game with no stakes." Alec paused to consider and grinned slyly. "Winner kisses the birthday boy. I mean, man."
 
"Darling, you better win," Dark said, glancing at his wife, who laughed.

"Would you like to kiss him?" She asked both boys, but more specifically Xander, since that condition seemed like a nightmare to both him and Dark, "and what if he wins? Does he kiss himself?"

"You two can play against each other first," He said, standing to fetch their chess set.
 
"If he wins, then he gets to pick who he wants to kiss," Alec pointed out reasonably, comfortable in the assurance that he was not good enough at chess to beat Dark or Daizi and probably not Xander.

Xander scowled. "Now I'm conflicted. No, I most definitely do not want to kiss anyone, but I do like to win."

"I guess you'll have to figure out your conundrum," Alec said with a wicked smile.
 
"That makes it easier," Dark agreed, setting the board down and placing all the pieces where they belonged on the board, "Do you want to begin in our usual pairings? Daizi against myself and you both?"

"Oh, you're not ready to admit defeat too quickly, Goose?" Daizi asked, and when she did, from her cradle, Ivy cooed in response. Daizi got up and crouched over the cradle, stroking Ivy's cheek, "Not you, Hummingbird, I was talking to Baba! I know that if you could pay you'd win, you're such a smart baby."

"Oh, she is very smart," Dark agreed, handing Ivy a piece and grinning (or as much as he ever grinned) at the way she was holding it in her hand, "Look, she has already captured the king." He watched her hold the piece for as long as she could, and then picked it up and set on the board. "Do not worry, Xander, you will still win in a way so long as you do not take fourth place. You only need to beat one person to win, in a manner of speaking."
 
"If third place is your idea of winning, you have a strange concept," Xander told him soberly. "Yeah, sure, I'm up for our normal pairings."

"Prepare to lose!" Alec said, plopping down on the white side.

Xander rolled his eyes. "I guess we're going first while our parents play with the world's smartest potato with grabbing appendages."
 
"It is closer to winning than losing every match," Dark responded calmly, looking over his shoulder at Xander before looking back at Ivy, "Do not listen to him, you are not a potato. Hmm? No, you are not, he is only jealous." He gently scooped her up while she cooed and squirmed, bringing her to the couch, "My sweet girl. Xander does not know, my darling little star, how to cope with how special everything you do is." Again, Ivy cooed. Recently she had figured it out, and since then had become very "talkative."

"You can't deny it's fun now that she's able to do slightly more than before," Daizi said, knowing full well Xander would probably try to deny it, "but if you'd like, we can start talking to and about you like we do with her."
 
"If you start doing that, I will barf," Xander said flatly, not really paying attention to the board as Alec cautiously made a move. "She's still a potato. Just a mobile potato. Who can somehow not know she's a person and be incredibly smart at the same time."

"I think it's called the potato paradox," Alec said brightly. When Xander stared at him, he shrugged. "Okay, I made it up, but it sounds like something that would exist."

"Right," Xander said dully and moved his piece.
 
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