How Green Becomes Wood

"I hope you don't mind my saying so," Cooger said, setting his toolbox on the floor and taking out a towel from it which he then put on the puddle so he could kneel down a little easier, "but this house looks like it needs a little more than a fixed sink. It's got good bones though, don't it. Let's get a look here..." He opened up underneath the sink, taking out his flashlight to check what was going on underneath.
 
"Yeah, I thought it was too good to be true when I saw this place on the market at a price I could actually afford," Lex said, leaning against the counter and watching him. "I don't mind a challenge, but it is a bit more worn around the edges than I thought. Plumbing, though, I hate plumbing. Closely followed by electrical work."

Xander moved closer, trying to stay out of Cooger's way. "What's up with plumbing?"
 
"Everybody's got their Achilles' heel. But I've been around enough that I either know how to fix it, or I know someone who can." He assured her, asking Xander for some tool to aid him, "Did you do get an appraisal done? Have anyone check out the home to test for what sorta problems might be here? If not, you might want to start thinking about getting one done. An old house like this, there could be a lotta surprises, and if something's on the verge, you'd want to know before it goes."
 
"Yep, got an appraisal done. The roof is old, one of the bathrooms definitely has mold in it, and the plumbing needs some help, obviously, but most of it is actually in decent shape. It's mostly cosmetic. Mostly. I can live in it as I make changes." She scowled and tapped the baseboard of the counter with her foot. "This kitchen is going to get gutted bit by bit, I can tell you that much. But I should do that to the moldy bathroom first."
 
"I'd tell you it's smart to always start with mold, but I don't want to sound patronizing. So many guys I've met in this profession talk to clients like they're dumb, and I try real hard not to come across that way." He said, fiddling underneath the sink, "If you like my work, feel free to keep this number on file. Normally, when I calculate my fee, I include the cost of travel, but you happen to be neighbors with my family, so I won't charge you for travel, since I'm over here often enough already."
 
"That seems like a fair deal," Lex agreed. She glanced at Xander, who was dutifully watching and handing Cooger tools. He was trying to guess the right tool and have it in hand before Cooger even asked for it. "Do you charge by project, by time, or by materials?"
 
"Now that is a complicated--question." He sat back, squinting at the work he had accomplished, "And it really depends on what is is. If I'm painting a house and I'm expected to bring the paint, I'm charging for paint. But if they bought the paint, there's no sense in charging them for it. Normally it's just hourly, unless I know it's something small. This here, like I said on the phone, this is hourly, 'cause I don't know the cause, so I don't know what it'll take. But something like, I dunno, you want a new door put up, that I'll probably charge a flat fee for," He told Xander to test turning the sink on and then went back under, "And me, you know, I don't really need the money, 'cause I've got a nice bit of land, so I take other forms a payment too."

Again, he sat back, this time looking right at Lex, "I don't mean nothing untoward by that, I see how that may be misinterpreted. But, ya know, I work for this one ice cream shop, and they can't always afford to pay me money, so we have a deal they just pay me in ice cream when I come by."
 
Xander stood up and turned on the water. The leak hadn't been fully solved, but it was much smaller this time. He quickly turned the water off.

Lex raised a brow at that. "Yeah? Labor, skill, and goods trade, like in the old days, huh? Not a bad idea. I don't have any skills or goods on offer right now, but I'll have to think about it. As much as I'd love to say I can tackle this house on my own - and I probably could - I'd also like to not be living in a construction zone from now until Armageddon. If your schedule's not too packed, maybe we can discuss some work hours for you here."
 
"We sure can talk about it," Cooger agreed, frowning at the leak and asking Xander for more tools, "I think what probably happened here is that your tubular p-trap isn't installed right. That's what I hope anyway, because otherwise it might be rotted. And that's no problem, it's a common enough problem I keep spares I could fit in here." He stuck his head back under the sink, "So, I'd just recommend start writing up what you want done, in order of priority, and then we can talk about pricing as it comes and figure out a schedule. I'm not saying we gotta book it all now, but if you're wanting that work, it's good to have a plan, cause renovations like this can cost a helluva lot. Not that I need to tell ya that, I'm sure, just kick me if I'm bein' patronizing. Oh, but if it's a loud repair, we gotta schedule it around nap time."
 
"Planning is a good idea, bit nap time?" She asked, amused. "Scheduling naps in already there, old man?"

"My baby sis next door," Xander growled at her, rankled.

"Yeah, alright, that makes more sense," she agreed, unoffend by Xander's tone. "Most of the noise should be pretty contained in the house unless both of us leave windows open, but I'll keep it in mind."
 
"Old man. Old man she says to the man fixing her sink." Cooger muttered, although he wasn't really offended, looking up at her with furrowed brows, "If I wanted to, I could fix this just well enough to last a few months, just so I could be called back here and make more off ya, right? Could get it to leak in a different way than now, you'd be none the wiser." After saying this he cracked a bit of a smile, "You're lucky I'm ethical. Anyway, I think we'd all be happier if we took more naps in adulthood... I don't really think we gotta be too worried about the noise, but what kinda uncle would I be if I didn't worry about it at all. 'Cause depending on what we do, our windows gotta be open so we don't die or inhale something that'll make is die a decade from now, and if their windows open... I mean, really, this little girl is the cutest damn baby I've ever seen."
 
Lex just chuckled, returning his smirk. "I may hate plumbing, but that doesn't mean I'm an easy mark. I appreciate your honesty, though, so I'll consider keeping you around for other repairs." She winked at him and straightened. "I can do most of the demolition myself, but I'll get a game plan in place and give you a call later. By the way, you want a drink? I got lemonade and some soda. How about you, kid?"

Xander narrowed his eyes, not thrilled at being called "Kid." "No, thanks."
 
"I think you're doubting how subtle I could be if I wanted to be." Cooger replied with a shrug, "Lemonade would be great. Thank you. And thanks for offering to my assistant, here. See, it works out, 'cause when your dad teaches you how to fix stuff, he's gonna yell at you and fuss at you for not holding the light steady. But I'm his uncle, so he learns how to fix stuff without the anger. Right, Gladiator?"
 
"Right," Xander stated, though he couldn't even fathom Dark getting annoyed like that. Fussing, absolutely, but not losing his cool over light placement. Other dads? Definitely.

Lex glanced at them quizzically as she poured out a glass of lemonade for Cooger and brought it over. "Uncle, huh? You two look like you could be father and son. Strong genetics you got there." She wondered briefly if she'd gotten the neighboring houses mixed up and Cooger's family was not the one in the dark, gothic-style house.
 
"Oh, no, we're not blood-kin," Cooer said, sitting back and thanking her for the lemonade, "we're all sorta hodge-podged together. I'm not blood to my brother, they're not blood to their folks, but we make it work alright." He shot a teasing grin at Xander, "I hope she didn't ruin your confidence too much by being told you look like me. Don't worry, you're much better looking."
 
"Don't worry. I'll get over the insult, I think," Xander said dryly. "He means I'm adopted, and he adopted my dad as his brother. Forcibly."

Lex chuckled at that and stepped away to give them more space. "Ah, I get it! Nice. That's a pretty special family you've got there, then." She glanced down at Cooger, amused. "Yeah, he is a bit better-looking than you, but I suppose you aren't too heavy on the eyes, yourself." She glanced at her watch. "School should be letting out soon."
 
Cooger took a quick and subtle glance at Xander, knowing he wasn't adopted but that Dark wanted to formally adopt him and Alec. But that wasn't his conversation to have, so he smiled up at Lex, "Well, thank you kindly, although I'm not sure I know quite how to take that, since just a few moments ago you called me an old man." He finished his lemonade, set it up on the counter, and then went back underneath the sink, "Don't worry, I should have this fixed up pretty soon. You gotta kid?"
 
Xander caught the glance but chose not to react to it. He knew what Cooger was thinking, and normally he did say "fostered" or something along those lines, but the "adopted" had kind of slipped out. It felt more accurate, anyway, even if it wasn't technically true. The paperwork was just semantics.

"Yep," Lex said cheerfully, watching Cooger work from back and out of the way. "Pride and joy of my life, star in my sky, representative of most of my world, and cause of the majority of the grey in my hair," she smirked light-heartedly. "He's a good kid. Product of an ill-spent youth and all that, but a good kid. You?"
 
Wrinkling his brow and shaking his head slightly, "Nah. That's never really been anything I was interested in. Even had I been, I never really found someone I'd want to make that kinda commitment with, and I can hardly take care of my own self, so there's no way I could survive being a single parent. One of us would always be unwashed or running late to our plans or something. And with kids you gotta make sure they've got, ya know, proper nutrition or whatever, I'd end up feeding a five year-old pizza rolls for half the week."
 
Lex laughed at that. "I think pizza rolls did make up a fair amount of our diets, for better and worse, but I get what you mean. Better that you figured it out rather than had it dumped on your lap. It wasn't the best situation, but Toby's been good for me. So, how's the leak coming?"
 
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