How Green Becomes Wood

"I do not know." Dark answered simply. "I think she really only meant I... was not... defeated." He took some time to think through what he had told them before cracking a small smile, "So you see, now, how I am kept up at night. Each answer has its own questions."
 
"The mind is a very busy place," Alec agreed soberly.

"Maybe you should both stop looking for questions to answer," Xander stated. "Life's a lot simpler that way."

"Less fullfilling, too," Alec told him. He frowned, looking across the sky. "Is that the last of the shooting stars?"
 
"It may be. A meteor shower may last for hours or days, and I do not know what this one is projected to do. I did no research. You both can go back to bed, if you need to. You probably should. Sleep is important, you can take that from me."
 
"It's not that early," Alec said. "We could stay up." He looked up at Dark. "Do you want company?"

Xander moved around on the porch, looking around. "The world looks weird at this hour. Can't remember the last time I saw it this early."
 
"I will not force you." Dark replied, walking back to the table to shut his notebook, even though he knew they could not easily read what he had written anyway, "This is my favourite time to see the world. In the Summer, you see all of the fireflies... I have seen owls land in our apple tree, there are few cars, and it is the same sky I have always seen, regardless of where I have been in the world. And I like the shadows." He took a deep breath of cold air, "Did you enjoy the party before you fled?"
 
Xander and Alec both found a sat and leaned back to look out over the garden. Alec nodded drowsily, but he was determined to stay awake. "It was alright. The food was good."

"It was pretty boring," Xander stated. He was still keeping his voice low, feeling it was only right in the delicate morning air. "Toby's cool. He beat me by three olives."

"They were seeing who could fit the most in their mouths," Alec yawned. "Sloan and I sat and talked."
 
"That does sound more enjoyable than the adult side of the party," Dark told them, still standing by the porch, watching the shadows in the rose bushes now, rather than the sky, "Strange, and like a choking hazard, but easier."
 
"Toby didn't seem to mind too much, but Toby's mom looked about as comfortable as you," Alec grinned.

"At least she didn't threaten anyone with a baseball bat," Xander smirked. "And you looked about as comfortable as a telephone pole at a pool noodle party."

"Did you have any fun at all?" Alec asked.
 
"I enjoyed being able to show Ivy off. I think she is the most popular of everyone who lives in our home." Dark said, keeping quiet about how the neighbors who judged their parenting or made other strange remarks, "And it was pleasant to overhear Shelby from down the road rant about how nobody was eating her mac-and-cheese."
 
"I did try just a bite," Alec admitted, slumping down in his seat. "It was awful." He rested his head on his hand.

Xander snickered. "Eh, she's new. Don't worry. Eventually, the novelty will wear off, and they'll go back to speculating on what creepy witchy things are happening in this house and how you're attached to the camel maffia."
 
"I would prefer she stay in the spotlight over myself." Dark said, looking down at the grass, "I think it's only the high school who think I am part of 'Big Camel.' But I know, or guess, the worst of their opinions left as soon as our old neighbor fled. But even if they were all the kindest suburbanites this side of paradise, I still do not think I would enjoy their company very much."
 
"Guess you can't pick your neighbors, but it's still hilarious to see our family stuck here in the middle of white-washed perfection," Xander snickered.

Alec had dozed off, his hand supporting his head.
 
"I think this is the only family I ever could have found. I listen to these conversations, sometimes, and I think about how little I understand about how they have grown to walk in and understand the world, because we were forged in different worlds. It feels insurmountable, at times. But the four of us, I am intentionally excluding Ivy, all have built ourselves... knowing... there will be blood." He struggled, almost visibly, at the end of the sentence to pick his words, trying to narrow down a nebulous feeling into something expressible. More than that, comprehensible. "It was only ever this."
 
Xander turned to study Dark, his expression serious, but confused. He thought he understood the main thrust of his point. This was the only family Dark could ever be comfortable in, and they four had all built themselves up out of the struggle of life, but what did he mean by blood? Or that it was only ever this? He could tell Dark was trying to get something across, but he wasn't sure he understood. Should he stress Dark out more and ask him to explain, or should he potentially disappoint him by letting it slide?

"I guess you can pick your family more easily than your neighbors, despite what people say," Xander said cautiously.
 
"Ivy is the only family I did not choose," Dark pointed out. "I was assigned to be Cooger's roommate, but we chose the rest. I chose to marry Daizi. I chose to foster you." He sighed heavily, tall and grim against the starlight, "When two aliens meet in a strange place, it feels a little more like home."
 
Finally Dark turned to look at Xander again, rather than out at the yard and the sky, "I think I may just be talking. I apologize. Do not pay me too much mind. I only mean to say... It can be isolating, attempting to interact with... people, who have never had to worry for their safety, at least not in a prolonged sense, not in a way other than walking down the street at night or getting lost in an unfamiliar area of town, or trying to interact with people who have never--" He gestured, grappling for the right words, and then shut his eyes, spoke a phrase in Arabic, and said, "I have felt alone and different, alien, for much of my life, you understand, but here, with you all, and with Cooger, I feel less different and strange, because all of you are different and strange. And so I do not like attending events like--that, because it reminds me I am unlike them, in all ways. And even with the nicest of them, even with Mr. Hollis, I have never learned how not to be on the outside of it all." He frowned, feeling like he still wasn't making sense, and the more he spoke, the more he felt like it wasn't thoughts for his son to hear anyway, but it was the night, and it was the unending dance of trying to have open lines of conversation with his children without putting the duty of emotional care onto them. "It is late," he said, "Alec has already fallen asleep. You should go to bed, too."
 
Xander leaned back in his chair and frowned a bit, more because that was his face's natural resting state than anything else. "I'll get him to bed," he said, standing up. He stopped at his brother's shoulder, though, and looked at Dark. "You ever think that maybe what you're feeling is more universal than you realize? I mean, not everyone's gone through your type of hell, and they'll never really get it, but you ever think that maybe some of them look at you and desperately wish they felt brave enough to be like you? Or at least to be your friend?" He shrugged. "You're a hell of a guy, not everyone's cup of tea, and you've got a baggage train behind you, but I don't think you give yourself enough credit. Besides, while you're holding up your mask when at parties like that... so's everyone else. I'm just glad we," he nodded to Alec, "were weird enough to get you on some level."
 
"Maybe," Dark agreed. But he knew it was the only way he knew to survive. And he was tired. "I know it is not their fault, anyway. And I do not blame them. It does not sadden me, really. And now," he smiled, "you understand what I get up to in the dead of night, when everyone else is sleeping."
 
"Yep. You think about questions that lead to questions and think about the best decision you ever made. Namely, taking me and my smart mouth in," Xander smirked. He got Alec's arm over his shoulders and lifted him up, carrying him bridal-style back into the house. Alec mumbled fretfully then snuggled in happily while Xander grumbled at him.
 
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