How Green Becomes Wood

He jumped when Alec touched him, but didn't pull away or freak out, so it might've been worse. Instead he did everything he possibly could to not cry. For godsakes, he had been told worse than what Xander told him, although, to be fair, it wasn't like the other insults didn't gnaw away from him, but it was the fact he had tried, for once, to actually give making friends a shot, instead of avoiding it at all costs, and then... And yeah, he knew Alec was there, but for how long would he stay. As soon as he learned the truth, he'd probably distance himself, too.

So he fought to contain himself, eventually succeeding, because he didn't want to let them know anything else about who he was. He already let them have too much.

"You should probably go see your brother," He mumbled, still leaving his head down on his knee.
 
Alec squeezed Milo's shoulder gently. "He can take care of himself. Besides, he's in class, and sneaking in now would garner a lot of attention. I'm not used to skipping class, but it's kind of thrilling." He smiled at Milo's gently.
 
"Oh, trust me, I know that." Alec handed him another tissue. "It's worth it this time." He reached out and grabbed his backpack, pulling it closer. He found his water bottle and handed it to Milo. "Here. You can unscrew the top."
 
"Thanks," Milo said quietly, only taking a sip of water because he knew he was expected to, and feeling a deep pit of shame well up inside him. The worst part was desperately wanting to go home, but knowing he didn't have a place that felt like home to him. He hadn't in years. They were all just temporary places he happened to live. "You didn't have to stay, though."
 
"I know," Alec said. "I wanted to. Unless you want me to leave? If you do, you just have to say the word, but I would like to stay. If you want me to." Alec picked up his backpack and moved to stand, his eyes on Milo. If Milo didn't protest, he'd leave, but if there was even a hint of hesitation, he'd stay.
 
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Alec lowered himself back down and set his bag aside. "Well," he said thoughtfully, "I did take the effort to find you, which was no small task, so I thought I'd at least make it worth the effort of finding you by sticking around. You don't make it easy to find you. Ever, really, and you can be hard to talk to, but I choose to believe that you're worth the effort." He drew up one knee and held it. "Xander and I asked the reverse of that question to our foster parents a lot. We're a bit like you in the desire to run away from even imagined issues front, but I'm more of the 'hide everything inside' type, and Xander... he was like what happened with you but daily. We didn't make it easy on them, neither of us, but they stuck with us because they believed in a worth we couldn't see, and they taught us - me, at least - to see that worth in other people."
 
"I don't try to be hard to talk to," Milo mumbled, because it was the easiest thing to say, "I just never learned how to be good at it. I'm like a... social vampire. Not in a 'I drain you of your energy,' kind of way, in a, 'I can't speak unless I'm spoken to first,' kinda way. I need to be invited in, first. And if I'm not, I don't know how to do it."
 
"That's fair," Alec nodded. "Unfortunately, a lot of people are either like that, or are so busy they don't notice the perfectly awesome kid standing on the sidelines. I can't really help you with that, but I can say that if I ever see you standing there on the sidelines, I'll try to invite you in as best as I can."
 
"While I'm still here." Milo added, quietly. His mother was supposed to be released next month, and that meant they'd be on their way, again. In some ways, he was glad for it. It was familiar. He was collecting states. He had seen a license plate for the majority of U.S. states, and once a Canadian plate. But it also meant starting over again... although, just then, starting over could have been much worse.
 
"I'm just guessing here," Alec said very carefully, "and I don't mean to step on your toes, but I'm guessing your constant moves have something to do with your parents or parent. You don't have to tell me, I'm not asking for details you don't want to share, but... if you like living with your grandparents, you can ask to stay. If you wanted. You're old enough now that if it's a state custody thing, the judge would listen to you. Of course, if you like moving and you can't wait to get away from here, I can understand that, too. Especially right now sitting in this closet, but emotional times are never a good time to make life-altering decisions. It's just something to think about." He smiled at Milo. "I've gotten rather used to having you around, and, personally, I'd like to keep it that way, but that's just my selfish side talking."
 
It had never occurred to him he could ask to stay with his grandparents, when his mom got out. It had been just the two of them for so long, without anyone there to intervene... There had never been an option, before. But on the other hand... It was his mom. For eight years it had been the two of them, and it hadn't been like this for all eight. It was his mom, and sometimes she frightened him, but she never intended to, and she was getting help, it wasn't going to be like this, anymore. She promised.

"If you could go back," He began to ask, but knew before he finished it was an impossible and unfair question--he didn't know why the twins were in foster care, how long they were, or what they knew about their parents. So he fell silent again until he thought of something new. "I think my grandparents would be happier if I didn't live with them. They don't begrudge me, and they aren't mean, but they enjoyed the empty nest."
 
Alec smiled. "Perhaps it was an unfair question. Maybe you really like traveling with your parent or parents, I don't know, but I thought perhaps I could present the possibility. But... if I can be a little nosier, how do you know your grandparents wouldn't like it if you don't ask them? It's rarely a good idea to make decisions for someone else based purely on assumptions. Of course," he rubbed his chin, "maybe you don't like living with your grandparents. I don't know the kind of relationship you have. Sorry if I'm rambling." He fell silent and looked at Milo curiously. "If I could go back to where? Or when?" he prodded gently.
 
"Because my bedroom is my grandma's scrapbooking room. And their birds' room. And the cabinets are all built int the wall, so they can't really be removed. For a few months, it's not a big deal for them, but..." He trailed off, feeling like it was a good brief answer to his question that didn't reveal too much, but he shook his head at Alec's next question, "Mine would've been unfair too."
 
"It might surprise you to see what lengths people will go through to try to help a loved one feel at home. I know it shocked me!" He fell quiet and patted Milo's shoulder. "I don't mean to try to convince you in any direction. I just want you to know... someone cares, and someone will miss you when you go. That's all. I don't know if it'll make things better or worse, but there it is." He picked up his phone, trying not to blind them both with the flashlight that was still on, and checked the time. "It's about time for the next class. Do you want to come with?" Then he had another thought and started digging through his backpack in search for something.
 
There was nothing Milo could say to that. He only drummed on his camera, trying to work through how Alec's words made him feel, but also trying to shove it all down, but also trying not to hear him speak at all.

"Yeah," He murmured eventually, moving to stand up, "I guess I may as well. It's math. My math grade sucks."
 
"Hang on... ah! Here it is!" He held up a pencil triumphantly and a notebook. He scribbled his number onto the first blank space he found and tore it out before shoving everything back in to be lost once more. Scrambling to his feet, he held out the paper to Milo. "Here's my number. No pressure whatsoever, you never have to use it, but in case you ever want it, you can have it. Although I should warn you, I have a habit of losing my phone," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "I'm not a great emergency contact, but... I'll see it eventually." He grabbed his phone, realizing he'd been about to walk out without it, and turned off the flashlight before shoving it in his pocket.
 
Milo looked at the piece of paper in the dim light, completely surprised by it. "Thank you." He squinted down at the numbers for a moment longer, then folded it up and shoved it into his pocket. Then he rubbed his face again, fixed his hoody, and slipped out into the hall, after making sure there was nobody just outside the hallway at that moment. He would have walked off to class, but he hesitated, then, just for a moment, and after Alec stepped out too, Milo added, "Bye," before walking away.
 
"See you later!" Alec called after him. Then added, "I hope." He walked to his next class and waited outside the door, trying to be inconspicuous. A few minutes later, the bell rang, and students filled the halls as they went to their next class. He took a deep breath and hugged his backpack to his chest as his heartbeat increased. He hoped he'd done the right thing, but how he hated the full hallways when he didn't have Xander with him!

Speaking of Xander, here he came barrelling down the hallway scanning everyone's faces as he went. He spotted Alec in a second and shoved a girl out of the way to get to him faster. The girl stumbled but didn't fall and called an imaginative phrase after him before going on her way.

"Alec!" Xander half yelled, grabbing his brother's shoulders. "Where have you been? Where did you go? I thought you were right behind me! Then you were gone, poof!"

Alec stared at the half-angry, half-frightened look in his brother's eyes. He reached up and caught Xander's face gently in his hands. "It's okay," he assured his brother. "It's okay. I'm fine. I just took a detour, that's all. I'm here."

Xander relaxed a little, but Alec could still feel him trembling under his hands. "Why didn't you show up for class?"

"It was too late by the time I got to the right hallway, so I came here instead," Alec told him. Not a complete lie, but he didn't want to tell Xander exactly what had happened. He dropped his hands and smiled. "Ready to go sit in the back and pretend to be interested?"

Xander glanced around and realized they'd gathered a bit of an audience. He stiffened, his usual mask falling over his face. "Yeah. Yeah, sounds good. This day can't end soon enough."
 
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