How Green Becomes Wood

"It's not so much a 'bad thing,' as much as it is a thing. The fact they're at the root of the problem suggests the issue at hand is an emotional one, rather than, say, physical. The core of it is how people are feeling, and that could be too much or too little." Daizi explained, touching the card, "Don't think too deeply about the overall meaning of it all, yet, we're only three cards in, and we're just setting out the basic facts. The current situation, the problem, and the cause of the problem. The fourth card, which for you is the Eight of Wands, represents the past. When I say that, and this is important, I don't necessarily mean your distant past. It's really easy to hear that and think back to childhood and then reject it, and it's a whole mess, but this card could mean a month ago, or yesterday, or a decade ago. It's the past... as it relates to this situation, okay? Keep that in mind. The Eight of Wands is saying you felt a high energy to fulfill your plans, and desires, and even though things were changing, you had learned to move with it. You weren't letting your fears hinder you, and you were allowing yourself to move with your own momentum and force."

She gave a moment to let his thoughts catch up with her, then said, "Now, card five represents your strengths, and you have the Seven of Wands, which suggests you've learned how to hold your ground, maintain your boundaries, and defend your beliefs. It takes courage, and you still keep a 'worst-case scenario' plan in your back pocket, because still, sometimes someone opposes you and they catch you unaware, and they're able to cut you down, but you've gathered more power and pride, you're more solid. You have convictions, and you're willing to stand for them..." Daizi paused, frowning a little, but not at the cards. She expected Alec to try to argue both of these points, try to say he never really learned to cope with change and that he wasn't that brave, but she certainly had noticed he was more steady than he used to be, even if he didn't.

Then, she touched the sixth card, and for the first time hesitated a little bit, and needed an extra moment to determine how she would express this card to him, "The sixth card is the near future, and again, I need you to understand, it's not the end. This is not the outcome, it's what you're likely to face on the way to the eventual outcome. Yours, for this question, is the five of wands, which represents conflict and change. There will be tension, and and fighting, the sort of fighting where everyone wants to be heard but nobody wants to listen. It's a very antagonistic card, but, if you look, even though all men are fighting each other on the card, nobody is getting physically beaten, see?" She had spend a long, long time memorizing the designs on the cards, "This isn't a conflict that can't be risen above, what's important is learning to hear all sides, being open to differing opinions, and coping with changes. Card seven is the King of Wands, and this is the card which gives advice, specifically, and it's urging you to step into the role of a leader. People are drawn to you, like they are to the King of Wands, because you are charismatic, focused, and determined. So use that. You have grand ideas of what the world might be, so see it through, don't toss it aside, even if it's difficult," she tapped the five of wands when she said the word 'difficult,' "You hold more power than you realize, and you have to harness it.'

'Card Eight is your environment, it's the Queen of Wands. It's saying the people around you are also courageous and determined, they're bold, and they have so, so much to offer, but they also have a darker side--and again, that side doesn't mean it's bad, it doesn't mean the people who surround you are all like Wormtongue, trying to tear you down, it just means there's some aspects of who they are that they aren't revealing, that they want to protect... They should be more open about it, but they aren't. At least not yet."
 
Alec nodded quietly as Daizi spoke, letting her tell him about each of the cards. There were some things he didn't agree with - he knew he was charismatic, but he really didn't see people flocking to him. He certainly didn't see himself as a leader. Then again, maybe that was the power he was supposed to harness. The whole thing just seemed so... subjectable. Like he could take whatever meaning he wanted from these cards and what they supposedly stood for. Someone was hiding something they should be open about? He could think of four people that could apply to, including himself! He didn't want to tell Daizi and offend her, especially not with all the effort she was putting into this, but he didn't bye it. Then again, maybe that wasn't the point. It didn't matter that he didn't believe it. She did, and she was trying to help him. Perhaps that was all that mattered.

"I think I follow so far," was all he said out loud. "And the last two cards?"
 
"Card Nine is your Hopes and Fears. It's the Page of Wands, and the Page of Wands wants to embrace new opportunities, he wants to take on the world, and uncover a fully-actualized version of himself, but... He just can't get started. He's got plans, and dreams, but none of them are concrete, and he doesn't know how to take that first step. What I'm reading in this, for you, is you feel an urge to make advancements in your life, and you want this new shining future, but every time you really want to make moves for that, you get overwhelmed with anxiety and you get discouraged. You can't move forward into your desires, and it ties back into your first card, the Moon, which also grapples with uncertainty about which path to take... There's something holding you back. The Moon speaks to trusting in the moon's light, and similarly, the Page of Wands encourages you not only to take courage in yourself, but to seek help of someone wiser."

Again, she took a breath, and sat back, taking some time with the tenth card, which she then passed to Alec for him to hold and feel, "And finally, the Outcome. Or, well. A possible outcome. Nobody has only one future, everything branches, and it still comes down to our own actions to determine which possible future we come to. But this one, the Three of Wands, warns you first to keep your mind open and amenable to more opportunities, which makes sense, because your challenge card involved limiting yourself and not seeking new solutions, and it also indicates your hard work will pay off. That fortune favours the bold. It suggests the outcome for this problem is a positive one, and that your dreams are bigger than your limitations..." She smiled, and taking the card back from him, lingered, running her fingers along its edges, "I didn't need the cards to tell me that about you." Then she set it down, back in its proper position, keeping it upright as it was before.

"Taken together, to read the entire puzzle, what I'm seeing really clearly here, is that to answer your question, you need to trust yourself. You need to allow yourself to step into this leadership role. If you want to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, it's suggesting you allow yourself to become someone people will listen to. Set aside your doubts, and your fears, and follow this new path. Show the world that you are strong, because people are already primed to listen to what you believe, they're already primed to take your advice. So let the moon guide you, let wisdom guide you, and take courage in yourself, rather than assuming you can't fix anything. These cards are all saying you can do so much more than you are letting yourself believe. And there will be troubles along the way," she tapped the five of wands again, "but... It seems like you can make it through that if you allow yourself to be assertive."

Then, Daizi sat back and exhaled, now speaking in a different sort of voice, "And I know it may not mean anything to you, but not everybody who uses tarot cards believes they foretell the future or that they're communing with anything, or that it's magic. For some people, they're just a helpful meditation tool, something to use to help focus all the thoughts going on in your brain. So... if you don't believe, I still wouldn't discount it."
 
"Sounds like a recipe for disaster," Alec said uncertainly. "No one likes a Bossy Betty. But... I guess someone's got to be in charge somehow or it's just... anarchy." He frowned at the cards. He figured this "reading" whether it was a real one or not was helped along quite a bit by the person doing the reading knew the other person very well. Still, he figured this was decent, if vague, advice from someone he trusted. "I guess I could give assertiveness a try."
 
"I don't think you have to be a 'Bossy Betty,' to be more assertive. Just, for one thing, don't let people walk over you. Stand up for yourself. You don't have to yell or make demands, and if they're really not willing to listen to you at all, it is true that it may be better to cut your losses and let it go, but..." She began taking the cards back up and putting them back into their pile, "If you are trying to help someone, and they're shutting you out, or retaliating against advice, instead of allowing that energy to make you doubt yourself, take a step back and trust your own intuition. Great leaders aren't great leaders because they pester those around them and get on their case, they live by example, they always lend an ear to those who need it, and offer advice. Nobody who doesn't want to be saved, and you have to participate in your own rescue, but I think people are typically helped more by those who are confident in their own advice than they are by those who don't stand behind what they are saying."
 
"The thing with tarot is that it's only a tool. It's not going to give you a manual that you just follow and everything will turn out perfectly, because that's not magic is about," Daizi told him, earnestly, "All of magic, all of ritual, it's all about being an active participant in your destiny and acting in alignment with your Will. It's complicated and I don't want to bore you, but you can fathom it for yourself as our perception of reality changing reality through ritual and by communing with certain outside forces, and then taking what you gain from these rituals and applying it to your life, and through all of it, you learn more about yourself, and more about the universe. It's all just tools."
 
"Tools are good things," Alec said carefully. "As long as they aren't misused, and, yes, I know, that's true of literally everything." He stood and stretched. "Thanks for doing the reading and trying to help. I think it did, a little, but I should probably get to my homework so I can finish that up before Da- Baba gets home. Do you need anything from me first? I can take Ivy from you when she wakes up."
 
"Take some time to reflect on it." She advised, putting the cards away into their box, "It may prove more helpful the more you work with it. And if I knew more about it, I might have been able to give you my own advice, separate from the cards, but I was limited, then, to the question you asked. But if you ever want to tell me more, I'm always willing to listen to you about it, habibi. Because I love you, and because you're worth it."
Daizi reached forward to squeeze Alec's shoulder, and kept her hand there as she said, "And thank you for indulging me in this." She dropped her hand and settled back down on the couch, "No, I'm alright. You go do your homework, I've got Ivy."
 
Alec smiled and turned to give Daizi a proper hug. "You are the best," he assured her. "Thank you for trying to help. It means a lot." He let go and hurried to grab his backpack and haul it upstairs. He couldn't help the shiver of delight at Daizi's words. He was worth it! Oh, he "knew" that, but it was still good to hear. Strangely, it had even more of an impact than being told he was loved. Not that he discounted that, either. Leaving the door open a crack, he settled down to do his homework. Xander had at least opened his books to pretend he was studying, but it didn't look like his eyes were moving across the page. Alec decided to leave him be and turned to his own work.
 
Daizi hugged him tightly, taking just a moment to savor it, because she knew how uncommon it was to have a teenager who still regularly hugged their mother, and then let him go. Soon enough after Alec went upstairs, Ivy stirred awake, and like her parents had recently described, began to fuss and cry, and did not make it easy on Daizi to soothe her.

She was still in a grumpy, irritated mood when Dark came home from work, and as soon as his shoes were off and the salt was touched, he hurried up to his wife to give her a break (which she gladly took), and then he went upstairs and knocked on the twins door, and even though he saw it was slightly open, he still stayed outside until he was granted permission to enter, if he was granted permission to enter, "I wanted to let you know I--Ivy, shh, darling, you are being impolite--returned home."
 
Alec sat on the floor with his books instead of using the perfectly good desk, so it was a simple matter to twist around and use his foot to pull open the door. "Hi! It looks like you've arrived just in time. How was your work day?" He grinned up at Dark - really far up - and waggled his brows. "I bet it was hugely different from my day at school."

Xander didn't even look up. At least he'd gotten through some of his work.
 
"I believe school for me is surprisingly similar to how it is for you, only from the opposite perspective." Dark replied, not wanting to overburden his sons with how conflicted going to work every day had been making him feel, and he hadn't done enough self-reflection to tell if his desire to be a present, available support system to his sons during their day (and his fears about making them feel replaced or less valued) was greater than his desire to be a present, available support system to his daughter during her day (and his fears about missing out on major moments in her life). And all of these budding feelings made work more difficult to get through, but that wasn't for them to struggle with. "If neither of you like doing schoolwork at a desk, we can remove it to give you more space in your bedroom for something you do find useful. I do not think I have ever come in here and found either of you working at the desk."
 
Alec glanced at the desk. "It's a thought," he admitted. "We'll discuss." He looked back up at Dark. "What's for dinner tonight? Can I help? I can either hold Ivy or follow directions as you tell me what to do. Or we could have a leftover night!" ANything would be more fun than geometry.
 
"It could be nice to remove it and not replace it anything, too. Just enjoy the larger space. Something to think about." He said, and while briefly scanning the room for interior design ideas, noticed the lemonade and uneaten snacks, "Was everything okay at school? And of course you are welcome to help cook. Those skills are important."
 
Alec happily closed his school books, shoving them off to the side where they wouldn't get tripped over. "School was... okay, I guess." He glanced at the tray, following Dark's look. He grabbed the lemonade and drank a bit. It was a touch warm, but no reason to let perfectly good lemonade go to waste. If Xander wanted more, he could get his own. Alec did leave the snacks for him, and walked out to join Dark. "Teenage drama and angst. I'm sure you are not at all familiar with that."
 
"Oh, no, I have never met an angsty teenager in my life." Dark replied, adjusting Ivy, "I was planning for us to have leftovers tomorrow. Really, I should plan it that we have leftovers on Monday, because who wants to cook the first day back after the weekend... But on the other hand, who wants to finish their first day back at work with microwaved food?" He looked at his daughter, "Now, my darling, would you keep your head if I let your brother hold you while Baba makes dinner?" His gaze shifted to Alec, "Do we dare try it? It may backfire."
 
Alec smiled and held out his hands. "We'll stay in sight of Baba the whole time! And try to help him as best as we possibly can. Right? Come on! Come here and have some red hair to pull instead of black."
 
Dark passed her over, and at first Ivy grumbled and seemed like she was preparing to fuss, but was, thankfully, quickly distracted. Dark watched her for a few seconds to make sure she was settled, and then said, "You know, even if the issue at school today was simply teenage drama and angst, that does not mean it is not real, and it does not mean it cannot still really bother you. Or him. I care about those things, and if it is upsetting you, it is not stupid. I would care even if the issue is someone wore the same outfit as you."
 
"I would be impressed if someone wore the same outfit as me," Alec said with a half smile. "But I get what you mean. Well, Xander had a fight at school - a verbal one, for once - and it's really bothering him." He gave a little shrug then smiled at Ivy. "Not that you will ever know what it means to fight, will you? Eh? Come on! Let's see what goodies the kitchen is hiding!" He bounced his way down to the kitchen, making silly noises as he went.
 
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