How Green Becomes Wood

Ohhh... I think you mean "regression" and not "remission," remission is like... when you beat cancer? Sloan texted back, And I don't know, I guess so? I'm not like a therapist or anything, but "one step forward, two steps back" has to come from somewhere. Idk if it's like... an intentional thing though or what would cause it. Why?
 
Alec paused and looked at the ceiling. "Regression and remission, not the same thing," he muttered to himself. He read the rest of his text and considered his reply. I should probably be talking to my parents about this, but that would be a very serious affair, and I was hoping that perhaps you might have a bit more of a casual approach. Or at least you can't look at me all serious over text. I feel that Xander has "regressed" in his personality improvement.
 
Sloan stared at the text and sat up in bed, because this conversation seemed way too serious to have lying down, What do you mean? Because of the fight that got him suspended? Or is there something else? I know he definitely seemed different after he came back to lunch.
 
He got in a fight, a verbal one, with, he paused, trying to decide if he should name names or not. He trusted Sloan, and he supposed it made sense to give her the facts. With Milo. Please don't let on I told you with who. Anyway, ever since, he has been really gloomy, like old Xander.
 
I don't tell anyone, dw. But why would he get into a fight with Milo? He's like... the meekest kid on the planet. Milo, I mean. But idk if being gloomy after a fight means he's regressed. Have you ever known anyone who is cheery after a fight? Who isn't, like, a sociopath? And like, I mean, you know him better than me, obvi, but I've never really seen him after a verbal fight, only physical ones. Verbal fights hit different, yk?
 
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That makes sense. I'm just worried about him. He doesn't do verbal fights really ever. And I think he likes Milo. He doesn't have friends, so i don't think he knows what to do with a friend fight. I don't know what was said, either, and he won't talk to me or anyone. Do you have any general advice for friend fights?
 
It'd be weird if you weren't worried. But idk, like, it's hard to give advice if he's not talking to anyone, because I feel like most people, when they're refusing to speak, aren't really open to hearing advice, but yk... It helps to remember your friends don't normally want to hurt you, and if you feel like you said the wrong thing, it's important to apologize instead of hoping it'll get better on its own... If you don't know how to say sorry in person, write a letter and put it in their locker...
 
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That's a really good idea. I have no idea where Milo's locker is, but I'll try to talk him about jkkljkl;jojlmlkmkhoi

"Ow," Alec mumbled, peeling his phone off his face. It had slipped out of his hand and landed smack on his nose and cheek. He squinted at the screen and realized the random string of letters had sent as a message. "Oops."

"What are you doing still up?" Xander asked as he walked in.

"Waiting for you," Alec said, rubbing his nose.
 
...You good? Sloan sent, seeing the key smash and making Alec's phone buzz. Then, immediately after, And like, I know you're worried, but idk if anyone reverts back to the 'old' version of themselves just because of a fight. At least not permanently. I mean, I know your situation is complicated, but I also think that, like, you've got a good support system and whatever, so like... idk if it's possible to go back to how he was last year.
 
I'm good. Just dropped my phone. Thank you for that reminder, I think that's what I needed most. It's nice to not be alone anymore, and it's nice to have friends like you to remind me to stop being silly. See you tomorrow at school! he texted back hurriedly. It wasn't the most poetic reply, but he wanted to turn his attention to Xander.

"I was just down in my shop," Xander grumbled as he started to get ready for bed.

"I know, but it's a big, empty room without you," Alec shrugged. "How's your project going?"

Xander flopped into bed. "Finished. Don't know what I'm going to do with it now."

"Why not give it to its intended recipient?" Alec suggested. "If they don't want it, you can always sell it online."

Xander grumbled and said nothing else. Alec fell silent, and the pair of them eventually fell asleep.
 
Ivy did not sleep through the night, but since Dark had been struggling with his insomnia again anyway, it didn't bother him too much to sit up with her in the unlit nursery to rock her back to sleep. And, miraculously, after laying her back down to sleep, he was able to crawl back into bed with his wife and fall asleep himself, and since Ivy only woke up once during the night, he was able to stay asleep until morning.

It was a fairly standard morning, marked by another long goodbye to his wife and baby (and, in his defense, when he drove Daizi to the train station, he had long goodbyes then, too) before driving the twins to school.
 
For once, Xander sat in the back instead of in the front like he normally did. He had his backpack like normal, but he also gripped a rolled-up plastic bag in the other hand. He'd only eaten half of his normal mountainous portion of breakfast, and he sat staring out the window moodily. Alec sat in silence, waiting, feeling as though Xander wanted to talk to him. Why else would his brother sit in the back? But the conversation never came, and they arrived at the school in silence.

Xander mumbled his farewell to Dark and set the pace to the school gymnasium, but Alec took the time to say a proper goodbye. Then he hurried to catch up to his brother.

"I got a favor to ask you," Xander said as they walked.

"Okay?" Alec said with a puzzled glance.

Xander held out the bag. "Give this to Milo for me, would you?"

Alec almost took it but then stopped himself. "Why don't you give it to him?" At Xander's awkward shrug, he said, "You always meant to give it to him. Why change that plan?"

"I don't think he wants to talk to me," Xander mumbled, offering the sack again. "He'll still talk to you, so I need you to do this for me."

Alec took a steeling breath and shook his head. "Nope. Not this time."

Xander gave him a baffled and annoyed look. "Why not?"

"Because I am a thousand percent positive that you need to do this," Alec said, pushing the sack back toward Xander.

Xander scowled but gripped the sack tighter. "It's not going to go well."

Alec shrugged. "Maybe not, but you won't know if you don't try, and you certainly aren't going to fix this by hiding behind me like Peppermint Patty behind Marcie." When Xander gave him a confused look, he explained, "Thanksgiving Charlie Brown episode?"

"Right, but who said I wanted to fix this?" Xander demanded.

Alec poked him lightly in the shoulder with his finger. "I'm not even going to justify that with an answer."

"Doubt I'll even find him," Xander muttered as they finished the walk to the gymnasium.
 
That morning, Milo was even more slippery than usual. It wasn't that he was intentionally hiding--well, he was intentionally hiding, but he wasn't consciously aware of it, he just knew he woke up in the morning feeling dull and isolated, and so at school, he kept to himself even more than he typically did. And it served him well, because he also went to school knowing, or at least believing, that if someone arrived to beat him into dirt, nobody would step in. He guessed he was okay with that. For one thing, it was the result of his own actions (you should've kept his mouth shut. You should have not tried to be different. Why did you have to try to be different? This is what you get. This is what people like you deserve.) But beyond that, he was used to nobody stepping in, so now, if nothing else, he was back to how he used to have to live. And maybe that was just who he was supposed to be.

After, lunch, though, his plan to scurry away was delayed purely by chance: his shoe was untied, and one thing that was bound to mess up your chance of successfully running away was an untied shoe, so he stopped to tie it.
 
Finally, after spending all day looking into shadows and corners and getting told off by a janitor and two teachers for trying to look into closets, Xander spotted Milo. In more-or-less the middle of the hall was the last place he expected to see Milo. He took a step forward and hesitated.

"Alec," he murmured. "Let's go."

Alec was in the process of walking toward the hall trash bin with a handful of spent papers, but he stopped and looked where Xander was looking. "Hmm. Nope."

"What?"

"I told you. You broke you, you fix it," Alec said firmly. "Go on. You can do this. You have the courage and strength." He patted Xander's shoulder and kept walking.

Xander wanted to hesitate, but if he lingered, he'd lose his chance. Gathering his courage, he walked toward Milo.
 
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Hearing the approaching footsteps, Milo practically sprang to his feet, and when he saw Xander he first, on instinct, began to relax, but then he tensed up and slouched his shoulders more than usual. "Oh. Hey." He murmured, averting his eyes.
 
Xander turned and stood next to Milo, not quite looking at him. "Hey," he mumbled. His palms felt a little sweaty. He was not used to this kind of thing. How did one do it? He took a deep breath and plunged ahead, figuring saying the wrong thing might be better than saying nothing at all. Maybe. "I've, uh, got anger issues. Thought I'd gotten over them, but, um," he lifted one shoulder in a shrug, "it's not something... it doesn't work like that, being done and dusted after just a short time. So, I kind of... I've been going through something, and it got outa hand 'cause I'm not good at dealing. Doesn't excuse or anything, just saying. Probably not the last time I'll lose it, either, even trying. If you don't think you can deal with that, it's okay. You don't have to. I'm not really worth that kind of stress, which is kind of why I don't make friends. I can go to your place to make your granddad feel better, if you want, but if you don't want to, me, you know, it's okay. You don't have to see me anymore than you want to." He stopped talking abruptly, not sure how to wrap everything up. "Anyway. Yeah. So."

He started to turn away and then remembered the bag he held in his hand. Turning back, he thrust the bag in Milo's general direction. "Here. I was going to give this to you later, but, um, if you don't wanna... you don't have to keep it, but it's yours. Keep, toss, sell, give... whatever."
 
Milo stared shocked at Xander while he spoke, struggling to know how to respond or if he was supposed to respond or where to interrupt Xander so he could respond. The anger issues thing wasn't all that surprisng, given what had happened, but Milo wasn't going to say that, and anyway he still pretty much believed had he behaved differently, Xander would have, too.

He took the bag from Xander, but before he looked inside of it, he said, "You do have a weird way apologizing." Very intentionally, he avoided saying, 'your brother was right,' because as he had asserted the day before, he wasn't a narc.
 
Xander wasn't sure if that was an acceptance, a rejection, or just a statement. He chose to react neutrally and gave a little shrug. "Yeah. So. I should... go, I guess." He didn't expect Milo to forgive him. Didn't expect anything other than the leery look he'd gotten when he'd first approached the lanky fellow. At least Milo had heard him out. He turned slowly in case Milo had something he wanted to say. He didn't think Milo was the type to vent, but if he wanted to give Xander a good scolding, who was Xander to stop him?
 
Milo looked into the bag and carefully took out the camera cover. Unlike Dark, he immediately recognized it for what it was. "It's okay to get angry enough to yell. I mean, it's not great, but it's not the end of the world, losing your temper... It's, um... It's the vindictive part, that's the issue, for me. And I can't trust someone if I know anything I say or feel might be flung back at me. Because you aren't the only one who's got issues and who doesn't have friends, and not everyone is going to just... forgive and forget because you've been through shit." Still not looking at Xander, he turned the camera cover over in his hands, "And this is very cool, and I really like it. But I don't know what to... do... about it, because I want to keep it and use it, but I also don't... want you to think that anytime you mess up and yell at me and try to make me small... or I guess, smaller... that you can just give me a really cool gift and I'll be okay about whatever you said. Okay? As a... a ground rule...?"
 
"I'm not, that is not, I mean it's more..." Xander stopped, took a breath, and blew it out noisily as he tried to organize his thoughts. "It's not a gift to buy your silence or whatever," he tried to say. "It's just a... a thing I made for you. That's all. It's not supposed to try to make you forgive me because I don't expect you to. I just wanted to give it to you now since we wouldn't have a later." He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "I said the things... about friends... because you not... you not making it easy was... for me..." He gave up and went for the short version. "It affected me. What you were doing. I was not being... patient enough, I guess, but I was frustrated about it. That's why I brought it up. Not to make you... smaller? I guess to hurt back where you were..." it took him a second to get the word out, "hurting me."
 
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