How Green Becomes Wood

"But you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not going to fore you to tell me anything, I just wanted to check on you." Daizi told her gently, having guessed enough about Sloan to understand why she was hesitant, and not going to force her out of the closet. "Your secrets are your own, and that would be true if I was your mother, but it is doubly so since I am not."

Sloan looked directly at Xander for as long as she could stand and then looked away, taking a long sip of water from the cup he had given her. Then she swallowed hard and confessed, "I don't even know how to talk about any of it."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like... there's too... much," She slumped, holding the cup tightly, "and I don't know how to hold all of it, because it all falls over itself and I can't separate it, so I don't know how to explain it."
 
"It sounds like it's a knotted ball of string," Alec commented. "In which case... if you want to talk about it... the best thing to do is to find a string, any string, and just... pull. One bit at a time. It'll get a lot messier before it starts getting worked out, and some knots will never come undone, but it'll get easier the more you pull at it. One strand at a time. Sometimes this one, sometimes that one, and you never know what's connected to what at first, but slowly, it all becomes clear."
 
"I don't even know what string is loose," She murmured, "or what will happen if it starts to unravel."

"It can be hard to find, and scary. And I'm sorry you don't have parents you feel like you can talk to about it. I could never tell my father anything either, and it hurt so much. But you have people you can talk to, who listen better, and I hope you can see that," Daizi told her gently.
 
"Maybe it'll look better and easier to face in the morning," Alec suggested. "We're not going anywhere. Anytime you need us, all you have to do is call." He smiled and put his hand on Sloan's arm. "It doesn't matter if we agree or disagree or even understand, we'll always love you and support you as best as we can, even if the only thing we can is listen."
 
Sloan nodded, hugging the clothes and everything close because it was what she had, and she did lean slightly against Alec's hand. But she wished, almost, she hadn't called them, or called someone else, so they didn't have to see her like this, because she liked how they thought she was normal. Or seemed to. And now they knew she was just as screwed up as the rest of them, and she couldn't undo that. "What are you going to tell my mom?" She asked meekly.

"I haven't thought so far ahead yet," Daizi told her honestly, "You are seventeen, you are closer to adulthood than not."
 
"She doesn't need to know jack sh**. It's her fault, after all," Xander stated.

"Xander!" Alec scolded.

"Think about it," Xander defended himself. "It's standard for kids like us to act out, right? Being stupid is part of teen life, and there's some strict parents out there, but she's so strict her own damn daughter can't even think for herself. Or isn't allowed to, anyway. And her own daughter is scared of her. What kind of a parent do you gotta be to make your kid scared of you without even smacking them? Peter's got strict parents, but I'd bet my shed that if he was in trouble, he wouldn't be scared to tell them. You guys aren't strict, and there's stuff we wouldn't want to tell you, but not 'cause we'd be scared of what you'd do to us. It's her own fault, and, like you said, Slo here's nearly an adult. I say she doesn't have the right to know anything. Especially since no lasting damage was done. She's not hurt, she didn't hurt anyone else - much - and nothing illegal happened. Well, mostly, but dozens of others were part of it, so, you know." He pettered off, suddenly looking a little embarrassed.

"Don't ask, don't tell?" Alec suggested meekly.
 
"I agree with you," Daizi said cautiously and turned to face Sloan, "But you live across the street, what is your plan to make it home without your mom finding out you were here? I don't mean to stress you out, and we don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to, but if your parents see you walking out of our house tomorrow morning, when you were supposed to be somewhere else, it won't matter what Dark or I tell them or refuse to tell them, they will know you were lying."

This was a thought which, clearly, had not occurred to Sloan yet, and she swallowed hard, "Um. I guess. Wake up early? My car is still at the party."
 
"If I can borrow the car again, I'll give you a ride there to get your car," Xander offered. "If we get up early and move quick, if they happen to be looking out the window, they might just think you're Alec."

"That could work, especially if I lend you my coat," Alec agreed.
 
"We have different coloured hair," Sloan pointed out morosely, "and it's a different texture."

"You can wear a hood. And you have to ask your father for permission to borrow the car again," Daizi said, privately wondering about the ethics of helping a teenager sneak around her parents. It was absolutely something she did when she was young--both sneaking around and helping others sneak around--but it seemed a little bit different now that she was an adult. It still felt right, because sending a child into a harmful situation wasn't something she was comfortable with. And doing that meant if Sloan was ever in a situation like this again, she wouldn't be brave enough to go somewhere safe. "I doubt he will say no."
 
"I have a hoodie, too, a couple of them," Alec supplied. "Just wear the jacket over the hoodie. That's totally something I would do, too, so she won't look twice. If she sees at all."

Xander stood up. "We'll figure out the rest tomorrow. Right now, you should get some sleep. Nothing ever looks good when you're tired."

"True," Alec agreed. "Do you want me to show you to the bathroom so you can change in peace?"
 
"I know where your bathroom is," She mumbled, standing up awkwardly, "Thank you..." After some hesitation, she apologized again and hurried to the bathroom not only to change, but to be alone for a few moments. Everything happening seemed overwhelming and she didn't know how to process or take any of it, and being able to shut herself up, even temporarily, away from everyone looking at her.

While she was gone, Daizi couldn't help but sigh and murmur, "That poor girl..."
 
Alec inched over and hugged Daizi loosely. "Thank you for coming to our rescue. Especially hers."

Xander grunted sourly. "Why do parties have to be so stupid? I'm off to bed. She probably doesn't want me tucking her in." He headed upstairs, pausing briefly to listen at the bathroom, just to make sure everything was as okay as it could be before going to his own room.
 
Daizi hugged him back, "I'm not sure if I really rescued her, but. You're welcome. Xander, thank you for going to get her... Maybe tell us next time there's a situation like this, so we can be prepared, okay?"

Inside the bathroom, Sloan was still upset as she changed, took off her makeup, and took down her hair, but she grew up with strict parents. She had learned how to cry silently. They were right, and she knew it, it would be better tomorrow but just then she was overwhelmed and frustrated that she didn't know how to talk about it.
 
Xander nodded briefly to Daizi. He figured maybe he should have, but he hadn't wanted to reveal all of Sloan's secrets without her permission. When he stopped by the bathroom, he thought he might have been able to hear something, but it didn't sound suspicious or worrying, so he went to his room and left the door open. Just in case. He'd close it once Alec arrived and they changed for bed.

Alec hugged Daizi a little tighter. "I should get to bed, too. Unless you want help making a place for her to sleep? I can get the blankets."
 
"Yeah, get blankets," Daizi said, squeezing him once more and letting him go, "and a spare sheet, we can fit it over the cushions... You don't have to help, you can get Dark to. I'm sure he's sitting upstairs trying to figure out what he can do to help without making her feel uncomfortable."
 
"Alright." Alec hurried to fetch the sheets and blankets, bringing them down to the couch before going on the search for his foster father. "The couch needs made into a bed," he told him. "I can do it if you're busy."
 
"Who in this house is busy this time of night?" Dark asked calmly, getting up to follow Alec, but stopping him in the hall. In the same hushed tone as before, he asked, "Is she alright?"
 
Alec chose not to answer Dark's first question even though he knew it was rhetorical. To his second question, he murmured back, "Not great. She's not hurt or anything, but she's... I guess it's a lot of things. I don't think she ever wanted us - me and Xander, and espeicailly not our folks - to see her so very vulnerable and know that she's struggling as much as she is. That on top of the party not going how she hoped, and I think something else happening while she was there has her pretty overwhelmed. I knew her parents were bad, well, strict, especially her mum, but I didn't know it was quite this bad. I think she's just chafed raw right now."
 
"I can understand that." Dark murmured, "Things may look more manageable in the morning. I am less surprised by her parents, but it probably is not right to talk about them. I am sorry she is carrying what she is, but it is good that she at least has people she can trust, and that will help. But I am sorry she found her breaking point at all." He heaved a heavy sigh and squeezed Alec's shoulder, "Try to get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning."
 
Alec gave Dark a little smile and nodded. "Will do. Thank you." He paused and added, "Xander's going to want to talk to you in the morning." Then he headed to his room, carefully closing the door behind himself.

Xander sat on his bed scowling at nothing in particular. He got up to change into his pajamas when Alec came in, and the pair of them sat down together on the bed. Little by little, Xander told Alec about the party and everything that happened. He finished by telling him what Sloan had said had happened between her and Emily.

"That's why it's so much harder than a regular break-up," Alec mused. He glanced at Xander. "There's that nice little area at the edge of the park where no one will find a body. I'll bring the shovel."

"Tempting," Xander agreed, "but that might make Sloan feel worse."

Alec clicked his tongue. "True. Such a shame. Well, now I know for certain we have to leave the house more and take her with us." He paused and added slowly, "You know... if her mom thought she was dating both of us at the same time..."

"Might make the lesbian thing easier," Xander snorted. "We can suggest that to her tomorrow."

"Perfect," Alec agreed, lying down.

"Sorry I didn't leave a note," Xander said quietly, lying next to him.

"I wish you had, but it was alright," Alec forgave him. "You get tunnel vision in emergencies."

"Yeah. Night."
 
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