How Green Becomes Wood

"I guess so," Daizi replied, taking a few moments to think about it. As she did, she slowly leaned more and more heavily against Dark until saying, "It makes me nervous. I've not let anybody else watch her, before. I mean, when Amty Zeinab stayed with us for the first week or so when we came back from the hospital, she did, but Dark and I were home. And when Cooger's kept an eye on her for us, at least one of us have been here. It's weird to... let someone else just... take her."
 
"Then don't," Xander shrugged. "Although it'll be interesting when you go back to work and you have her with you trying to grab everything."

"You still have some time before you have to do that," Alec hastened to assure her. "Just enjoy the time now."
 
"I know at some point I am going to have to leave her with someone," Daizi replied with a little shrug, holding onto Dark's arm, "There's a day care near my work where we're looking into enrolling her in when she's only nursing once a day and I'm back in the office. But even before then--at some point we're going to want to go out as a couple, eventually, and we'll need to trust her care to someone. I just... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"I am reticent about day care at all." Dark added, scratching his beard, "I still think we should get in-home care."

Daizi inhaled slowly, a little indication this had been a significant conversation, but said, "In any case, I'm trying to adjust to the idea of it. I just don't know if I'm there yet, she isn't even aware she's an individual person, yet. I don't want to stress her."
 
"Far be it from me to argue with the experts, but in my lowly opinion, I think she has an idea that she is a person," Alec said. "Not that that particularly changes the fact that she still relies almost entirely upon you and probably doesn't have a lot of self-awareness outside of her plus the person holding her, but if she knows who we are - and she definitely knows the difference between us - I believe she knows who she is. Which is Mama and Baba's sweetest little baby."
 
Dark shrugged, trying to organize his thoughts despite the lingering disorientation of a late, deep sleep, "She cannot recognize herself in a mirror, so we know she lacks some level of self-awareness. Much of what she does is sort of... Instinctual. Her joy is not predicated on an awareness of what brings her joy." He rubbed his face, "but that is difficult for us to grasp, because we cannot remember what it is like to have such a different awareness of the world."

"It's something about realizing when we're not here. She doesn't fuss when we leave the room or anything," Daizi explained.
 
Alec shrugged. "If you say so. All I know is that she adores you perhaps as much as you adore her."

"I dunno if that's possible," Xander said, busily texting Cooger. "That's a lot of adoration."

"Good point," Alec giggled. He stretched and yawned. "I think I'm going to go sit out on the back deck until bedtime."
 
"Her not being aware she's an individual doesn't mean she does still love and adore.
Just that she doesn't know I'm not an extension of her, or the opposite. We can only know what we observe, and what those who have dedicated their lives to researching babies have learned," Daizi said gently as she stood, knowing this debate had gone on since Ivy was born, and wishing, somewhat, he would trust all the research she and Dark had done. "I think I'm going to bed now. She still wakes up obscene early. Are you coming, Goose?"

"In a moment," He replied, "I have to finish this tea."
 
"Goodnight," Daizi replied, and slipped upstairs, whistling softly to Enkidu followed her up.

Dark stayed downstairs, slightly hunched, and staring at the wall as he drank the rest of his tea.
 
Alec went to bed next, but Xander stayed where he was until Dark finished his tea. Only then did he move in the direction of bed, too. He just wanted to make sure Dark was alright. He pressed his lips together tightly in nervous anticipation. The day after tomorrow, he was getting a new car! No, he shouldn't get too far ahead of himself. The three he had picked out might not work out. He was only going to look. He wasn't going to buy a junker out of desperation. He could wait and buy a nice one.

The next morning was business as usual for the household, and Xander stood tapping his foot impatiently while Alec scrambled to get his stuff together and both their lunches. Alec scampered over and handed Xander his lunch and shoved his feet in his shoes before they both headed out to the car, calling out their farewells to Daizi and Ivy.
 
Dark was fine. He might have been disassociating somewhat, but he wasn't upset or dealing with something. Just in a weird half-awake state. When his tea was finished, he stood, stretched, rinsed his mug, and set it on the drying rack before mumbling goodnight to Xander and going upstairs, where he changed into pajamas and crashed again, not waking until morning, at which time he seemed like he always did.

After making his goodbyes to his wife and daughter, he was the last one out of the house and drove the twins to school.
 
Once at school, the twins told Dark goodbye and headed in to the gym as they always did. Xander commented on how when he had a car, they wouldn't have to come so early, and Alec rolled his eyes at him. Classes came and went like usual, and it seemed like no time at all before they were walking into the cafeteria and finding their usual table. Peter was already there, and he waved to them happily as they came to sit down.

"Everything is all set for this weekend," Peter told them.

Xander frowned. "What's set for this weekend?"

Alec grinned. "I'll tell you later."
 
Sloan joined them not particularly long after the questions about things being set or not, and sat carefully down at the table with them. "It was great going out to eat with you all yesterday," she said, "but I should've gone home and taken, like, an epsom salt bath or something. I'm stupidly sore today."
 
"Ouch, I'm sorry," Alec winced. "At least it's only soreness and not anything broken, right?"

"Soreness can feel almost as bad sometimes," Xander grumbled.

Peter started to say something but stopped and looked behind Xander and Alec. His brow knit in such a confused frown that Xander and Alec both turned to look. Other teens yelped and hopped to one side or the other, creating the illusion of a shark fin cutting through a wave, though instead of a shark fin, it was someone wearing a beanie cap. As the last of the students scrambled out of the way with curses, Toby rolled into view riding a small skateboard through the cafeteria. He rolled straight toward their table, completely at ease on his board and unaware of the scowls behind him.

"Hey, neighbor!" he greeted Sloan first. "Neighbors," he added, nodding to Xander and Alec, coming to a stop.
 
Sloan had begun to make a comment about how she wouldn't be sore if it wasn't for her fall off the beam, but she followed Peter's gaze and watched in confusion as Tobey skated up to them. "Uh. Hey dude. What's up?" They hadn't really spoken much since she gave him a tour, so even though Sloan was a fairly friendly person, him coming up to what felt like specifically her made her a bit anxious, and she was trying to figure out if she had done something.
 
"I heard about your performance yesterday. Second place! Rad!" He offered her a fist bump. "And any fall you can walk away from, right?"

Alec munched on a carrot stick, watching curiously. Xander and Peter stared blatently, trying to think of the last time they'd talked to Toby at school.
 
"Thanks," She replied, returning the fist bump, "I took first in the Uneven Bars, it was just my team overall who took second. Word definitely travels fast, how'd you find out so soon?"
 
Toby indicated over his shoulder, theoretically motioning toward someone in particular, not that the others at the table could tell for certain who he meant. "One of my mates has a little sister who does gymnastics. You took first on the bars? That's awesome!" He twisted his board to one side. "I'll catch you later, neighbor!" He pushed off and rolled away through the cafateria.

"He's such an odd fellow, but I like him," Alec grinned.

A few seconds later, a teacher came trotting after Toby, huffing in annoyance that she had to chase a skateboard through the school.
 
Sloan nodded, "Thanks. I hope your sister did good at the match yesterday too. I'll see you around, okay?" She smiled as he skated off, and watched in quiet amusement when teachers tried to catch and reprimand him for using his skateboard. When she felt she had seen enough, she turned to the rest of them and said, "She'd be able to catch him if she wore heeleys."
 
"But then she'd have to write herself a reprimand," Alec giggled.

"Unless they make an exception for law enforcement," Xander smirked.

"What are heeleys?" Peter asked curiously.
 
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