How Green Becomes Wood

"When your tax return comes, you get some money back as a check, if you did it right--and, like, technically it's if you did it wrong, 'cause if you get a return it means you let the government take too much money from your paycheck--but most people like getting a little money back, and if you get a little money back, then that means you have a little extra to spend. For a lot of people, that means, 'let's repaint the living room,' or 'let's do some landscaping.' And for a guy like me, that means business." Cooger explained with a sly grin, "What you should do, and what I do, is maybe buy a small little thing but put it into savings, because you were content not having that money already, but it feels a lot nicer to spend because it feels like you're making a buck off the government."

~~

"I do not believe so. Not in the living room in any case," Dark said, raising his eyes, "you may have a need to go upstairs. Or I could fetch it for you."
 
"Huh. That makes sense," Xander nodded thoughtfully. "I'll have to remember that. Maybe have tax return sales on some of my stuff."

~~

"I'll go.get it and be right back," Alec said, hopping up. Still holding his book, he headed upstairs.
 
"That's not a bad idea," Cooger said approvingly, "They kind of come out at different dates depending when taxes were filed, but if you do any sort of major sale around the median date... You'll probably make some nice money off of it."

~~

Dark promised he would still be there when Alec returned. Just as Alec was coming upstairs, however, Daizi was stepping out of the nursery, having just layed Ivy down for the night (...hopefully, for the night. She had been fairly consistent, but nothing was every guarnteed), and because she was more focused on being quiet leaving the room and being absolutely certain Enkidu had followed her out, so he wouldn't start whining when he realized he was trapped, thereby waking Ivy and ruining everything, she didn't notice Alec's soft footsteps in the hall.
 
"Thanks. I'll start looking into that," Xander nodded. "Maybe I should look into a line of handyman wear."

~~

Alec hesitated when he realized Daizi hadn't heard his approach. He considered sneaking into his room silently, but that had the potential to startle her, too. He debated and settled for clearing his throat in the hopes of startling her as little as possible.
 
"Like what I actually wear, or steampunk handyman wear?" Cooger asked with a low chuckle, "Because, I gotta tell ya, I've got no idea what that'd look like."

~~

She did jump slightly, but shook it off easily, because sometimes she couldn't help but be startled, "Is that you, Alec?" It was an easy guess, because of the sound he had made and the lack of the faint scent of her favourite colognes and wood, "You snuck up on me."
 
Xander snickered at the idea of Cooger wearing steampunk to work. He could probably pull it off. "Like what you wear but maybe with a touch of fancy."

~~

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," Alec smiled. "I came up to get a bookmark. Ba is downstairs, and we were chatting, making me realize I forgot my bookmark."
 
"Do I look like the kinda guy who needs a touch of fancy?" Cooger scoffed, "Looking fancy is more Dark's thing." It did not occur to him how fortunate he was to have made that comment with his friend not around, because had he done so, the response would have immediately been a remark about admitting to not being fashionable.

~~

"What were you talking about that made you realize you didn't have a bookmark?" Daizi asked, but then paused, tipped her head to one side ever so slightly and said, "Is it a new book, then? What are you reading?"
 
"Yep," Xander said without missing a beat. "You could definitely use a little help."

~~

"Um." Alec hesitated, realizing he'd not actually looked at the book he'd picked up. He quickly lifted it to look at the title. "Black Beauty." Oops. That was one of Xander's. Not that he would have minded, but he would be annoyed if Alec put it back in the wrong place. "It's getting a little annoying to hold my finger in the right spot, that's all."
 
"Hey now," Cooger replied, looking at Xander, "What is that supposed to mean?"

~~

"I haven't read that one... It's about a horse, right? Do you like it so far?" She asked, walking further down the hall so they weren't right outside Ivy's room, and gesturing just slightly with her head, but expecting he'd follow regardless, "I don't mean to stop you from getting your bookmark, I'm just curious."
 
"Nothing. Nothing at all, Mr. Hanyman, sir," Xander replied with a faint smirk. "You're perfect just the unfashionable way you are."

~~

Alec followed willingly. "It's alright. It's about a horse and social commentary about the day, I think," he said, trying to remember what he could of the book from the one time he had read it a couple of years ago. "I don't know why people say this is a girl's book, setting aside the obvious issue about segregation, because it's so intense. Adventure! Action! Politics! Surely anyone can be interested in those. In fact, it sounds more like a boy's book than a girl's if you just go by that." There. Daizi would be distracted by gender shenanigans and not focus on the fact that he hadn't actually said whether or not he liked it. Or what it was really about.
 
"Oh, like you're much better," Cooger replied with a huff, "What's your style? Anything black with just a hint of leftover glitter?"

~~

"I think there's a weird notion about liking horses being 'girlie', which I don't really understand, myself. We're not really planning to teach Ivy the idea of 'girl' things or 'boy' things, she'll get enough of it out in the world." At first it seemed like his plan had worked, but then she shrugged, because her thoughts on gender were a little bit more complicated than 'girl thing' and 'boy thing,' and anyway she knew Alec and Xander tended to check out of those conversations anyway, even though, in her opinion, they should pay a little more attention, "It's a classic for a reason, and it's not worth listening to someone's book critique if all they can say about it is 'it's for girls.' So what if it is, right? Yes, and? Besides that, though, how has your night been?"
 
"Plus red and leathers if I'm feeling extra that day," Xander replied with a smirk.

~~

Alec had been about to comment on how it hadn't been too long ago when horses had been for boys, something about how a lad always looked forward to his first pony, and other cowboy things, and express interest in how the focus had shifted to horses being for girls, but Daizi's question brought his ramblings to a halt. "It's been good. Quiet. Very quiet and good. Perfect for reading and letting the mind wander. After homework, of course," he added hastily.
 
"Daring." Cooger said flatly, rolling his eyes.

~~

"The mind wandering..." Daizi sighed, fluffing out her hair with one hand, "That's something I'm very familiar with. Not always as nice in practice as it is in theory, is it? I know Dark is infamous for being the overthinker between the two of us, but on a quiet night like this..." She raised her shoulders, "It's just a very normal part of life."
 
"Yes, I thought so," Xander agreed mildly, enjoying pulling Cooger's leg.

~~

"I don't think I can even imagine what it is your mind wanders to," Alec remarked, moving toward his room to fetch the bookmark. "I don't think all those kids at school talking about how they can't wait to be adults really pay attention to adults. Being a kid is no easy feat, but at least we usually have adults to fall back on. Unlike adults."
 
"Some adults have adults to fall back on, if you have older adults who you have to support you. I talk to Amty Zeinab and some of my other aunts a lot. And we've got friends, often, partners or siblings if we have them... Adults still have a support system, often, maybe not always. It's just the older you get, the harder it is to find people who are older than you, which, thankfully, hasn't been a problem for me yet." Daizi replied following after him, "It doesn't always feel like it, but I am still in my thirties. I just catch myself worrying about people during the day, especially now that it's just Ivy and me home during the day. When you're folding the same set of baby clothes for the fifth time that week, it's easy to think about the family members who aren't around and worrying if they're okay. It's not all-encompassing or overwhelming, but I think about it, sometimes."
 
Alec found the bookmark at last and held the strip of paper for a moment, looking at the innocent pattern on it. "Yeah," he murmured quietly. "It's hard not to worry about people you can't see right in front of you." He turned the bookmark over in his hand before finally sticking it in his book. "But it is what it is, right?" He forced a smile. "We just trust everything will be alright."
 
"It is a normal part of life," Daizi agreed, leaning against the doorway, "and it's especially hard not to worry when you've had people not come home before. I'll never forget the day my brother didn't... What's really been getting to me, lately, is Dark. Because now we've got three kids together, and I;m not sure what I'd do if something happened to him. But when I'm at home and I start thinking that way... He wouldn't want me to be so caught up in the worst-case scenario, and sitting anxiously isn't going to prevent anything," she gestured, "out there from happening. And it's not going to make something terrible from hurting less. I don't try to prevent thinking the worried thoughts, because that's like trying not to think of an elephant after being told, 'don't think about elephants,' but... You can really just take it as it comes and help decide what is productive... And maybe occasionally request an update from the person we're worried about, when we really need it."
 
Alec looked at Daizi skeptically. Did she know what was going on inside his head and was trying to give him life advice? Or was she only talking about herself? Perhaps it was a little of both. But... How could he apply her advice to himself? It may be good advice, excellent thoughts, but when it came to trying to implement the advice, that was where he locked up.

Finally, he said, "I guess you are right about that. I'm sorry that you are feeling like that here. It won't be for much longer. Well, I guess then when you'll be at work worrying about how Ivy is doing at daycare."
 
"What do you mean, it won't be for much longer?" Daizi asked with sweet, small laugh, "When I go to work, I'll be worrying about Ivy in daycare, but I'll still be worrying about you, and your brother, and Dark. It doesn't really matter where I am, and if somethng happens to him..." Her little smile faded and she tipped her head up towards the ceiling, "If I didn't have him, I couldn't do most things. With any of you four, I do not know how I would manage to be strong, and I think I'd agree to sacrifice him first if it came to that, for you three, but there's something different about the love you feel for your soulmate. But I don't need to explain that to you, I'm sure. You know."
 
"I never really thought about it like a 'soulmate' situation, but you're right," Alec admitted. He glanced at Daizi, hesitating, turning the book around in his hands. "I know it doesn't help to sit and fret and worry, but it's just... so hard not to. I don't know how to distract myself from those sorts of worries. I don't know how to... to not worry. The world is a big, scary place when you don't have something stable to cling to."
 
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