How Green Becomes Wood

"I think that's a fair deal," Milo said in a little voice before repeating, "Thank you." As they walked back inside, he finally looked at Xander with a tiny, cautious grin, "I'm gonna put stickers on the helmet, I think... And you should probably know how to ride a bike... for if the government collapses and we can't buy gas anymore. You get by faster on a bike."
 
Xander considered this for a moment. "You make a good point. I think my uncle would approve. I think I'd rather ride a horse, but a bike could fit in tight places better. What kind of stickers are you going to put on the helmet?" He held the gym door open for Milo.

Alec sat with his eyes closed, his expression tight in a frown of concentration.
 
"It's easier to care for a bike," Milo commented, "In a situation like that, if it's difficult to get fresh water and food, trying to keep your horse healthy is going to tough. But, I bet a horse is harder to steal. But it'd be more emotionally devastating if something happened to it. I guess it's a trade off."

"Hey dude, what're you up to?" Sloan asked, walking up from a lower bench and dropping down beside Alec.
 
"A horse would also be like another pair of eyes and ears that could look out for trouble," Xander pointed out. "If you had a decent relationship with your horse, he could let you know if trouble was coming. A bike couldn't do that, but I guess you could get a dog."

~~

"Thinking about elephants," he told her, peeking at her. "Their herds are mostly matriarchal. Did you know that? I just learned that."
 
"That's true, but if you're with a group of people, and food runs scarce, nobody is going to suggest eating your bicycle." Milo said with a blank face.

~~

"Oh." Sloan blinked, but then shrugged and went along with it. "I think I did know that. Did you know they get like... humanlike breasts when they lactate? I read this book once, A Primates Memoir, and it was about this guy researching baboons in Kenya, I think. He mentioned it, and I looked it up. It's crazy."
 
Xander did not have an immediate answer to that. After a moment, he said, "Yeah, but if it's my horse and it dies of natural causes or I have to put it down for some reason, then I can eat it. It might be tough, but you do what you gotta do to survive." He noticed Sloan up talking to Alec and felt strangely relieved. Someone was looking after him.

~~

I did not know that," Alec admitted. "Sounds very... I don't have a word for that. Meanwhile, the animals we were all taught was all about the queen, turns out bees don't really listen to their queen all that much, and neither do ants."
 
"That's why I said there are pros and cons to both sides," Milo said with a shrug, "I'd eat a person if I had to, you know? But I'd be nice to not have the pressure to shoot some living thing I cared about to eat it. With just a bike, I'm absolved of that."

~~

"Most people don't, you'd think they'd have udders like cows, but they don't..." Sloan said, trailing off, "I had heard about that, about the queens in insect colonies. The animal kingdom is weird."
 
"Fair point," Xander agreed. "I guess you've talked me into figuring out how to ride a bike. Once the world collapses into anarchy." He gave Milo a quick smirk to show he was joking.

~~

"I think I am quite glad to be human. Humans are weird enough for me," Alec agreed.
 
"It's fun. I like riding a bike." Milo said, hesitating as the neared the bleachers. Sloan was there, and she was nice, but it still felt like an intrusion. They still weren't friends, really.

~~

"Sometimes I think humans are more weird, because we've got these weird brains. I bet a dolphin never looks into a mirror and says, 'my flippers are too big,' right?" Sloan joked, "We broke our own brains because we're too smart."
 
"Maybe sometime I should take you horse riding," Xander commented, pushing down the nervousness at talking about horses. It was Milo. Milo wasn't going to say anything to anyone. He started up the bleachers toward Sloan and Alec. "I've only been once, but it was," he hesitated briefly, "awesome."

"True, but dolphins are jerks to, like, everyone in the ocean," Alec remarked. He spotted Xander and Milo and grinned, waving to them. "Hey! Which is weirder, humans or animals?" he called to them.
 
"That could be cool," Milo said, not saying a single word about horses, because there was nothing weird about liking horses. When he walked up to Alec and Sloan, he stared at them for a moment upon being asked the question and then said, "Humans."

"See? I told you. Anyway, I could've said any animal, dolphins were just the first ones I thought of who could recognize themselves in a mirror," Sloan told Alec, "It's not like the average human isn't a jerk to every other living thing. We're worse than dolphins."
 
"I don't know, dolphins are pretty mean, and so are Orcas," Alec mused.

Xander glanced between them and shook his head. "This is one of the weirder conversations you've had. Neither are weirder. It's a whole apple and orange situation."
 
"Last I checked an Orca never nuked Japan," Sloan replied with a teasing grin.

"Or made a belt out of the nipples of other orcas," Milo said flatly, "or sent taunting letters detailing their crimes to the families of their victms."

Sloan looked at him, trying not to make a face, "...Yeah... I just think, Xander, humans have all the weird biology stuff that all animals have, but a stupid brain that thinks too hard. Like, a woman bleeds for, like, twelve weeks after giving birth, but also we're like, 'oh, but I have a really complicated gender and sexual identity because our brains invented the concept of strict gender roles,' you know?"
 
Xander stared at them, looking downright queasy. He'd turned a little green at the mention of "nipples" and had gone a little greener with each sentence after that.

"Right, change of subject," Alec said hurriedly. "How are, uh, how are classes going, Sloan? Do you still get Mrs. F for English?"
 
"Thankfully, no. She doesn't teach upperclassmen. Which means in a few months, you'll be free of her too," Sloan said with a pleased grin, but then it faded, "But it does mean you'll have to learn to cope with Mr. Mutz, who teaches science in the upper levels. He marks off for everythihng, but if the class passes his ridiculously hard tests, he brings in cupcakes."
 
"I do love cupcakes," Alec said as Xander sat down and turned slightly away from the group, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm not great at science, but I guess if I can deal with Mrs. F, I can deal with Mr. Mutz! I hope. Did you hear about what Mrs. F made Peter do?"
 
"No?" Sloan replied, raising an eyebrow, "What happened?"

While the other conversation happened, Milo looked over at Xander with slightly furrowed brows, watching his friend's reaction and trying to figure out what was happening without asking and forcing him to say anything.
 
Alec told her about how Mrs. F had made Peter write the whole assignment over again by hand when he couldn't convince her that he hadn't used AI to write the paper.

Xander took one more deep breath and tried to shake it off. He turned back. He noticed Milo watching and blushed slightly, feeling suddenly awkward that he'd shown weakness in front of one of the people he felt like he needed to protect.
 
Sloan laughed at the story, but also groaned, because she could only imagine how agonizing that was. In her estimation, there was no reason why Mrs. F should still be teaching because she clearly just wanted to punish students.

Milo mouthed the words are you okay? to Xander but didn't otherwise intervene, not wanting to call attention to him.
 
Xander relaxed just a little, grateful to Milo for his quiet handling of the situation and gave him a subtle thumbs up with a nod. He was feeling better. The topic had taken him off-guard or else he would have been able to handle it better. the birth of Ivy had helped him handle things like this a little better, but it was still hard sometimes, and especially when he wasn't expecting it.
 
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