How Green Becomes Wood

Dark hugged him more tightly than he ever had before, and yet, the way he had Alec suggested he could, and wanted to, squeeze him tighter still, but he didn't want to hurt him. Through the fierceness of the debate, Dark's strong, rapid heartbeat was audible. God, he wasn't expecting this. And he wondered, blinking up at the roof of his shed, if Alec realized just about a year ago they were sat just here, just like this, when Alec said he didn't want the baby because he thought he meant he wouldn't be wanted anymore. Dark remembered. He moved one hand to the back of Alec's head to really keep him in close, and lowered his head just enough to kiss the top of Alec's head. "I love you too."
 
Alec closed his eyes and let himself cry just a little as he allowed himself to saver this moment. He was safe here. Safer than he'd ever been in his entire life. He'd been safe the moment he'd gotten into Dark's car what felt like a century ago even though it hadn't even been a full two years, but now he could fully allow himself to feel safe no matter what happened. No matter how idiotic he was or what was happening around them. No matter what, he was safe. Safe and loved, and it felt so good! It felt so good to love and to be loved so unconditionally.

Finally, he pulled back, wiping his eyes. "You know," he said, his voice wobbling, "maybe I should have talked to Xander about this first. He just might have a few thoughts on the matter." He tried a smile.
 
Dark shut his eyes and just held his son. His son. He was about ready to burst at the seams, and it was like that one song Daizi liked, he wasn't prepared to feel so... illuminated. And he was trying to remember how to breathe properly as a million thoughts raced through his mind, because he was thrilled, but not good at feeling thrilled, and trying to process what just happened.

When Alec sat back, Dark smoothed the back of his hair like he would smooth Ivy's, "He might," he agreed, "Daizi might, too." He exhaled, trying to steady himself, and he looked carefully at Alec's face, and thinking about his wife, his expression altered, "I cannot keep this secret from her."
 
Alec looked almost bashful when Dark mentioned telling Daizi. "Actually... I was wondering... can you keep it a secret a little longer? I need to talk to Xander about this first, but I thought that maybe we could talk to her about this on Mother's Day. I know she is a little worried about her position sometimes. You're our only father, after all, but we've already had a mother. Daizi's not a replacement. Neither of us see her that way. She stands equal to our mum in our minds, but completely different. She is as much our mother as our mum ever was, but in a completely different way. I was hoping that, maybe, if we could set something up to give to her as a gift on Mother's Day, maybe she'll see how we see her?" He blushed. "Now I'm babbling. I'm sorry. I hope you understand what I mean."
 
Mother's Day was only two weeks away, Dark knew that. But this was a hell of a secret to keep for two weeks. When they were keeping Ivy a secret, it was a little strange, although necessary, but possible, because they were keeping it together. Dark couldn't remember the last time he had kept something of this magnitude secret from his wife. She was... his wife! He told her everything. The last time he had to keep something major from her was when he was preparing to propose to her.

But he understood why Alec wanted this, and he recognized what the surprise would mean for her. Was he even capable of keeping a secret from her? "I... understand..." He said slowly.
 
Alec laid his hand on Dark's arm and looked him seriously. "Can you do that? Can you keep this a secret? If you say no, I'll understand, I really will, but I'd love to surprise her. Can you at least promise to wait for a few hours so I can talk to Xander first" He couldn't think of many worse ways for his twins to find out his current line of thought then to have Daiz say something about it in her excitement. Xander would be incredibly hurt.
 
"I... do not know. I have never tried. Not since I was preparing to propose, and that was... Over a decade ago." He inhaled, "But. If this matters to you. I will try." He took a breath, "You need to tell me what Xander says, though. Whatever he says."
 
Alec nodded quickly. "Of course! I will tell you the moment I know. I'll tell you everything always. Promise." He leaned back and looked around the shed. "You know, it's kind of funny, really."
 
"Thank you." Dark nodded, and pushed his hair back. He wanted to tell Daizi. He had promised not to tell Daizi, but he wanted to tell her. How was he going to walk inside the house, happy, and not immediately arouse suspicion? "What is funny?"
 
"Yes, but... worth it. Ivy is the sweetest sister I could possibly ever dream of," Alec told him. He smiled at Dark. "Sometimes, reality is actually better than dreams. When you let them be."
 
"She is..." Dark began, his eyes softening immensely, and he put his hand over his heart to express what was hard to put into words, "and not because she is my only blood relation, or because she is a girl, but because she is so... Innocent. She is full of nothing but love, and joy, and it is enchanting to watch. So much of what she does, she does for the very first time." He looked away, a bit of sorrow creeping back into his face. His neutral expression, really, seemed to always have those traces of it sewn into the lines of his face. "Every day, even when the day begins at two a.m., because she woke up then, I am beyond grateful she lived. It was just as likely she would not have."
 
Alec stood up and hugged Dark again, more gently this time. "We are so lucky to have her, and she's so lucky to have us! And I don't mean that arrogantly. You are the greatest Baba ever."
 
Dark leaned into Alec's hug, lightly patting his arm. "Thank you." He allowed himself to sit there for a few more minutes before pulling away. "It's getting late, you still have school tomorrow. We should not talk here all night."
 
"That's a good point, and I have one more important conversation I need to have," Alec admitted. He smiled at Dark and moved to the door. "Your highchair for Ivy is quite the conversation starter. It might be too dangerous to have in the kitchen."
 
"Because I said the wrong room. It'll be just as dangerous in the dining room, though. Imagine all the deep, insightful conversations that could occur!" Alec grinned. He let himself out, saying as he went, "I'll see you probably in the morning, Ba."
 
"I am sure you will." He smiled softly at Alec and watched him leave. Once the door to the shed closed, he stood and walked to the small window in his shed, and even though they had a gated yard, and a dog who always barked if someone, or something, unfamiliar was on their property, he still watched until he saw Alec had made it back inside their home. Just in case. Then he returned to his desk and started to sketch something before getting up and going inside himself. Even though he couldn't tell Daizi what he and Alec had talked about, he still wanted to talk with her.
 
Alec went up to his room and found Xander listening to the CD Peter had given him through his headphones while doing homework. Or rather, trying to do homework. He wasn't focusing well. He tapped the rhythm out on the corner of his book as he read the homework problem. Alec sat where Xander could see him and waited.

Xander noticed Alec out of the corner of his eye and looked up, taking off his headphones. "Hey. You were gone a while."

"I was talking with Ba," Alec said, hugging his knees lightly. "And... I kind of came to a decision without you."

Xander's brows rose. "Oh yeah? This should be good."

Alec cleared his throat. "Well, you see, I've been thinking about it, and I talked to him, and it just kind of came out, but I... kind of... asked if they'd... adopt us?" his voice rose to a squeak, and he looked at Xander nervously.

Xander stared at him. "That's. Big," he finally said. "You could have mentioned it to me first."

Alec nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know I should have. It just kind of all came out. I would have told you sooner had I been thinking properly."

"Might have been good. "Especially if I didn't want to be adopted," Xander said mildly.

Alec actually gasped. "You don't? Oh no." He dropped his head, a sick feeling in his stomach. What was he going to tell Dark??

Xander threw a small eraser at him, bouncing it off his shoulder. "Oi. I said 'if.' Seriously."

"You mean?" Alec gasped a second time, raising his head. "You're alright with it."

Xander sighed. "I mean, I'd have liked more time to get to grips with the idea, but... yeah, I guess so. They basically already are our parents. Why not make it official? That way, no one can try to say they can't keep us for any reason."

"True," Alec smiled. "Very true." He scooted over and leaned against Xander's shoulder lightly. "You think I made the right decision, then?"

Xander nodded, pushing aside any doubts he had. If this was what Alec wanted, he was all for it. Yes, he kind of wanted it, too, but in this, Alec was the lead. "Yeah, I think so. It'll be good. For all of us."
 
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