How Green Becomes Wood

"Was he now?" Daizi asked slyly, turning towards her husband.

Raising his head, Dark said, "I was not spying. I was listening for Ivy, and you happened to go in there."

"But you kept listening," She grinned.

"You are intentionally implying the worst," Dark said, wiggling Ivy's legs as he spoke, "I have done nothing wrong. Nobody would expect me to turn off the baby monitor when you entered, as if you had left and put her back to sleep, I would not have known to switch it back on."

"Pennsylvania is a two-party consent state, Goose, I couldn't have consented, you broke the law."

"The room was monitored," He rebutted, "not recorded. And since you agreed to have the monitor in the room and knew it was on when you entered, I believe that counts as your consent."

"Oh yeah? Tell that to my lawyer."
 
"You two are adorable," Alec said quietly, amused by the pair of them and secure enough by now to fully know when they were just playing. "I guess Xander was right," he sighed dramatically. "You're just falling apart at the seems! It's so sad. So depressing." He finally got his finger free and made certain the bell was secure before stabbing the needle back into the pincushion. "I think that's enough sewing for me for now."
 
"You think we are joking, but I take my privacy very seriously," Daizi feigned distress, although not too much so Ivy didn't worry, "I'll have to file an order of protection!"

"Surely not," Dark grinned, pulling Ivy's new onesie onto her and gently snapping the buttons shut.

"I will, since you can't even be trusted to tell the truth."

"I am telling the truth."

"Goose!" Daizi cried out, putting one arm around Alec and squishing his face in one hand, "Look what you're doing to our children! Can't you hear his distress?! Alec, aren't you just on the verge of tears, habibi?!"
 
"Yesh," Alec confirmed, his face half-squished. "I am highly distressed and will never recover. Ever! It's the worst day of my life, for certain." He couldn't fake tears, but he did manage a truly sorrowful look. Or as best as he could with Daizi squishing his face.
 
"You're tearing this family apart!" Daizi exclaimed, unable to stifle a giggle, releasing her grip on her son's face only so she could dramatically pull him into a hug.

"Alright, I confess." Dark couldn't muster up the same false emotion his wife could, but he did well in comparison to his resting mood.

"And?"

"I was spying!"

"Oh!" She cried melodramatically, again releasing Alec so she could wilt over him.

"And I am not sorry, either."

"How dare you!" Her face was smushed into the couch from where she lay draped.
 
"Don't worry, Mama! We promise to stay with you and look after you no matter what!" Alec proclaimed as dramatically as he could. He grabbed one of Daizi's hand and held it tight. "No matter how broken this man makes this family, we shall hold together! I swear it!" He scowled at Dark. "How could you!"
 
"You do not understand," Dark turned towards them both, feigning at pleading over the sounds of his daughter laughing at how silly her mama was being, "I did it--because I wanted to hear how sweet you are with our daughter! I like to hear you laugh and sing to her!"

Daizi raised herself, still squeezing tight to Alec's hand, "Oh, Darling, do you promise?"

"I do."

"Oh, well, stalking is okay if it's romantic!" She exclaimed, mustering the strength to let go of Alec's hand and turning to Dark, "If it's romantic, it's not creepy at all, it just means you adore me!"

"I do adore you, Spider," He replied, kissing her, and after their kiss, Daizi broke away with a cackle.

"We really got full participation with that one," She bent over, "Good job, Alec, you really sold it."
 
Alec let himself laugh as he watched them. "You two are the darkest, sweetest, dorkiest, sappiest couple I have ever met!" he declared, grinning. "Ivy, it's going to be a culture shock when you grow up and go out into the world of non-sappy people!"
 
"Dorkiest!" Daizi scoffed, leaning against Dark's shoulder with one hand on his chest, "We're not dorky, I think we are very cool, actually. You can have fun and be cool. Right, Goose?"

"Right." Dark nodded, resting his cheek against the top of her head, supporting Ivy in his other arm.

"The rest I'll accept though. Especially sweetest and darkest," She ran her fingers through Dark's beard, content to be beside him.

"I still do not totally understand what sappiest means," Dark once more emphasized, "but you played along, so I think if that made us sappy, it means you are too."
 
Alec snorted. "Nope. I am most definitely not sappy. Unless I watch a romance movie. Then I might be sappy. Or maybe sometimes when playing with Ivy. Here, I am the most," he paused to strike a pose while sitting on the couch, "dramatic thespian!"
 
"Oh, so we're sappy, but you're just an actor?" Daizi snorted, "How is that fair?"

"I think he makes the rules, and gives himself an unfair advantage." Dark commented, looking down at his baby, "What do you think, Ivy-Qadira?"

When Ivy babbled at him, he nodded patiently, responding with gentle "mhms" and "ohs" until finally he looked back at Alec, "I asked Ivy, she says if her Mama and Baba are sappy, so is her big brother Alec."
 
"I certainly hope making out with someone is not the criteria that makes somebody sappy," Dark raised one eyebrow as he covered Ivy's ears, fully aware it was not, "Considering what you said regarding playing with Ivy."
 
Alec made a face. "Ew. That's just ew." He folded up the onsie he was supposed to be working on and had given up on. "Alright, well, I think I'm going to leave you to your snogging."
 
"I am just trying to understand based on your own logic," Dark replied, squinting at Alec, "You said you are not 'sappy' unless you are watching a romance movie or occasionally when you are playing with Ivy, but when Ivy very eloquently explained why she believes you are 'sappy,' you said you are not because you are not making out with anyone, but these things are unrelated, so one can presume somewhere in your definition you are lying."

"Don't listen to him, he's just being pedantic," Daizi said, her arms loosely around her husband's waist, "He's taken too many philosophy classes. Go do what you want, but to be clear, we are not snogging! We don't start kissing the moment you and Xander turn your back."
 
"Hey," Daizi laughed, holding up one hand, "Wait a minute, that's not fair. Our relationship is much more complex than just kissing."

"We could easily forgo it for at least a day," Dark confirmed confidently, but Daizi tugged lightly on his shirt.

In a quiet voice she said, "but we wouldn't want to do that."

"Well, no, of course not. But Alec does not know that." He murmured back.

"He's just my best friend," Daizi told Alec, unable to keep the sincerity from her voice, "and getting to spend everyday with your best friend is exactly as fantastic as it sounds."
 
"I did not agree to that," Daizi wilted, pressing down against her husband, distressed.

"We absolutely could," Dark said, seeing the challenge and feeling more than prepared, "We are not teenagers, we are more than capable of not kissing for one day."
 
"What should be the prize if you succeed - and don't say kissing - and what should be the consequence if you lose?" Alec asked, grinning. "Surely two best friends can help each other win a challenge!"
 
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