How Green Becomes Wood

"Okay..." Daizi said, rubbing where his neck met his shoulders, "and now imagine you're seventy, and because you decided you did not want to risk hurting anyone--you never even tried to have that. How would you feel then?"
 
Alec considered that, his expression sobering. "Quiet," he said at last. "Quiet and... not quite empty, but close. Lonely. I imagine I'll make friends, qnd Xander will be there, but... I feel like I'd feel like I was missing something."
 
Now, Dark had a question to ask him, "Do you think you would regret it? At seventy years old, when you are an old man, would you regret it if you never even tried to pursue those feelings?"
 
"I don't know," Alec admitted. "I really don't, but I think I might. Even if I never end up being with anyone, I think I would regret not allowing myself to at least be open to the possibility."
 
"Yes," Alec said without a moment's hesitation. "I really believe he does. But..." he trailed off and shrugged. "He's never seen relationships as a good thing. I mean, I think seeing yours has softened him."
 
"Right, okay," Daizi murmured, "so you should talk to him, habibi. It does not need to be now, it does not even need to be soon, but if you really think you want to make space for that kind of love in your life."

Dark nodded in agreement to his wife but felt an addendum was necessary, "If I may advise you: Do not ask him for permission. It is your life, and you deserve to maintain the power in it. 'I think I want to date,' is better than, 'Is it okay if I.'"
 
Alec looked down at his hands. He knew that they were right. He knew that Dark was especially right about not asking permission, but it was a hard thing to imagine. "I'm scared," he admitted. "The closest I've ever been to this was that disaster with Crystal."
 
"In that regard, you also need to put up a few extra defenses and not give everyone the benefit of the doubt." Some of Dark's innate cynicism crept back in and he meant it, "If everyone you know and trust is warning you against someone and not for surface-level faults, listening to them helps to avoid disaster. It may feel kinder to approach everyone without a care to how they may have treated others, but it can lead you somewhere you do not wish to be."

"But you're not alone," Daizi promised, putting her arms around him, "and you know as well as I do nothing would make Xander leave your side. He may not be hurt at all, but even if he is, he will not walk away from you. You're his brother, that means something. He just wants you to be safe, I'm sure."
 
Alec nodded. Once upon a time, he hadn't wanted to trust anyone ever. Once upon a time, he'd been less trusting than Xander. Now it was time to find a balance between trusting everyone and trusting no one. He slid off his chair and went to Daizi, sitting on the very edge of the couch so he could hug her tightly.
 
Daizi held him as tightly as she could, swaying gently, "Thank you for talking to us about this, habibi." She kissed the top of his head and then rested her cheek against his hair so he could feel completely enclosed. She held him for as long as he needed, but when he began to pull away, she had another question, because she wanted him to feel good about the feelings he had developed, "Can I ask--it's okay if you're not comfortable sharing-- but is there a specific type of girl you like?"
 
Alec hugged her tight, soaking in the reassurance. Who knew having teen feelings could be such a big deal? He took a deep breath, feeling a lot better. "Thank you," he said sincerely to Dark and Daizi. When Daizi asked her question, he blushed and said, "Um. Slim, long hair, and a smile. That's as far as I've gotten, I think."
 
Dark chuckled softly, looking at his wife and son, "You have good taste."

Daizi very lightly whacked Dark's arm, but said, "That's really interesting to know. Attraction doesn't work that way for me.'
 
"I figured," Alec admitted with a little smile. "There are a lot of pretty girls, but nothing beats a beautiful personality. I mean it truly." He flashed a smile at Dark. "As sappy as that is to say."
 
"And that's how you know you're not being objectifying," Daizi kissed his forehead and then sat back to reclaim her place in her husband's arms, listening to how Ivy squeaked and jingled on the floor, "It's all just personality to me. Scents a little bit, and voices, but I'm not attracted to anyone until I start talking with them."

Dark moved to kiss Daizi's hair, but remembering their bet, stopped himself in time, and instead just held her more tightly, "You may have no choice but to end up sappy like we are. Since apparently we are."
 
Alec laughed and returned to his seat. "I suppose so."

"Suppose what?" Xander asked as he walked in. He was holding his hand with the other. He'd slipped with a knife - a bit like Dark - but it was only a smaller cut on the back of his hand. It was still bleeding decently, qnd he wanted to disinfect it. Clearly, he wasn't in a hurry as he paused to see what the rest of his family were talking about.
 
"Dark has been trying to get to the bottom of what sappy actually means, and we caught Alec in a trap, and proved if we are, so is he." Daizi explained resolutely, feeling satisfied it wouldn't leave any further questions.

Dark frowned seeing Xander and quickly crossed the room to him, "Are you alright?"
 
"Dude, you're a total sap," Xander told Alec. He showed Dark his hand. "Yeah, it's not deep. I think I need to sharpen my knife. It slipped when I was pushing on it. Done it a million times before."

"Oh, are you hurt?" Alec asked, only then noticing Xander's hand and feeling terrible that wasn't the first thing he saw.

"Yeah, don't worry. Just need a bandaid," Xander assured him.
 
"If you are sure." Dark said, stepping over Ivy to get the first aid kit. Xander was right, the cut was not bad, but it still needed treatment.

For her part, Daizi got up to simply remove Ivy from the equation, "After this, nobody else is able to walk into my home after working in their sheds with a cut hand, I can't cope."
 
"Yes, Mama," Xander said meekly. He let Dark help him with his hand, fidgeting only a little. It was an awkward spot to try to do it himself. He had to try to just deal with the feeling. At least it wasn't so bad anymore.

"Are you going to be able to go to your horse lesson tomorrow?" Alec asked worriedly.

Xander nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem. I'll wear a glove to protect it."
 
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