How Green Becomes Wood

"I would not have, at your age," He replied, "I barely spoke English, wrote on the bathroom walls, skipped class, drank. I wrote poetry but only in Arabic and it was not good poetry." He drummed on the wheel, "But it was honest. I would not have blamed you if you did not like me." He glanced at his son, "Really? Well. I do not think he should feel that way. He is also part of a fairly successful local band, he started his own buisness, he does jiu-jitsu, and he is learning to care for horses. He is very impressive, also."
 
"You were the delinquent our mum warned us not to be like even if we did get into trouble sometimes," Alec giggled. He smiled and traced a shape on the window. "I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others and that everyone has their own path to walk, but I think he is far more awesome than me. I really do. I just hope someday he sees how cool he is."
 
"I was a delinquent. But I was a unique brand of delinquent, which gave me an edge." He shook his head but then said, "I think you both are equally 'awesome.' You are just different. But that is okay."
 
"He's not acting right," Alec said softly. He didn't want to tell Dark about Xander's near-violent reaction the evening before. It was out of character, and he didn't want Dark to think Xander would hurt someone. "And he doesn't want to talk about it."
 
Dark nodded, "Some things are difficult to talk about, even if you know it would help you to have the discussion. And some things bother you, but you cannot put a name to the feeling. It is impossible to talk about those things until you can figure out what exactly is the issue. Do you want me to try?"
 
Alec hesitated. "Maybe," he admitted. "I don't want to seem like I'm tattling, but I don't think I can do it." He bit his lip. It pained him to say he couldn't help Xander. They had always been there for each other. They'd always helped each other. But now they were older and their lives had started to separate. There were just things they couldn't help each other with right now.
 
"I can try to talk to him." Dark promised. "He does not need to know you said anything to me. We will see how he is when he returns home from therapy, yes? I do not want to speak to him unless he is in an amenable mood, otherwise it will only make things worse, if he is anything like how I used to be. How I still can be."
 
"I believe I have a mug you gave me declaring me the world's best father," Dark said, allowing himself to joke before more seriously saying, as he pulled into their driveway, "I was afraid for a long time, with everything I had been through, that I would be a bad father. I am glad to know that is not the case."
 
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, but I think it made you an even better father," Alec told him seriously. He patted Dark's arm and hopped out of the car, running to the house, eager to see Daizi and Ivy again.
 
Dark wasn't certain if that was true, but he accepted the compliment, and after locking the car, he followed Alec inside. Daizi was upstairs when they came inside, strumming on her harp with Ivy plopped down on the floor and discordantly shaking a baby tambourine shaped like an orange frog.
 
All around Ivy were various simple percussion instruments designed for babies, all shaped like various animals you'd find around a pond or in a backyard: fish and caterpillar shakers, little ladybug castanets, all packaged in a turtle shaped drum. But when Alec came in, she dropped her tambourine and crawled over to him, the bell on her clothes jingling as she went.

All of those noises combined made Daizi stop playing, "Baby girl, who is it?"
 
Alec grinned as he scooped Ivy up and hugged her. Then he turned her to sit on his lap and grabbed a caterpillar. He shook it, trying to match Daizi's rhythm from when she was playing on the harp. He hoped she'd guess who it was and continue playing.
 
Since whoever it wasn't didn't immediately come over to kiss her hello and Xander wasn't home, she did easily figure out who had walked in, and ran her fingers across the strings again, "Have you taken a vow of silence since I saw you last?"
 
Alec giggled and held out the caterpillar to Ivy for her to play with. "No, I just really didn't want to interrupt your session," he told her quietly. "But then Ivy blew my cover, but that's okay."
 
Ivy dropped reached out and grabbed onto the caterpillar, shaking it at Alec to show off how it worked.

"I don't think she's learned how to keep secrets yet," Daizi chuckled, "Hopefully she never learns to keep secrets from me. At least, not unless you all are planning something sweet. I don't mind you interrupting me, though. How was practice?"
 
Alec carefully turned Ivy so she wouldn't smack him with the rattle and excitedly told Daizi all about the routine they were learning and how he was finally able to smoothly spin inside the wheel. Everything was going so well! He was even making some good friends with the other students, and they were slowly growing more confident in encouraging each other.

Xander got home right about when Alec was finishing telling Daizi about his lesson. Xander sat slumped in his van staring at nothing. His therapist had hinted (it was barely a hint) that he was either hiding something or holding something back. She didn't pry too hard, but she did point out how it was affecting his horsemanship. There was something weighing him down. The problem was, he wasn't deliberately hiding or holding. There was something scratching at the edge of his brain, but he didn't know what it was. It'd go away on its own, right?

Finally, he got out of the car and headed inside. He kicked off his shoes and tapped the salt roughly.
 
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