How Green Becomes Wood

"Oh. Cool." Milo nodded with his hands in his pockets, "I mean, I guess if nobody else wants it, I can take it. No point letting it go to waste. Probably not a good idea to give it to your sister yet, either. She'll just eat it. Or try to." He didn't really notice the change that had come over Alec, trying to survive the halls took too much of his mental effort.
 
"Yep. She eats everything. You should come over sometime," Xander said. He handed Milo the rock. "You can keep it, if you want, or not. Whatever you want." He nodded toward a doorway. "First class. Here we go again."
 
"Because it does," Xander said bluntly. "It sucks sometimes, but no matter how sucky, it gets better eventually. Eventually. Just gotta stick it out, and I guess learn what you can while we're here." He heaved a sigh. "Otherwise, if you keep talking like that, I'm going to end up dipping with you."

"Hey!" Alec warned behind them.

"Kidding, kidding," Xander grumbled, leading the way to their usual spots.

The big footballer was already there. He was in Milo's seat. Xander stopped and scowled. This was a serious breach of etiquette. Who did something like this? He glared at the big guy for a moment, trying to decide his course of action. Finally, he pulled out his usual seat, now next to the big guy, and nodded for Milo to take Alec's seat, and Alec could sit where the footballer had been sitting. This way, Xander could keep himself between Alec and Milo and the unknown and hopefully give Milo a small amount of peace of mind. The footballer never looked up.
 
"Okay," Milo said slowly, gesturing to the school, "but just because things get better in a metaphysical way, that doesn't make showing up to school not awful. I mean, I've kept up with showing up to class, and I've been doing all my assignments since the time my grandparents forced me to have that meeting, and my grades are better, but the rest is the same."

Then, when he walked into the classroom, the football player was in his seat. His seat. The tiny voice in his head reminded him it was okay, there were not assigned seats, and he could sit anywhere else. It wasn't like he was going to confront the guy, even if he wasn't a giant and at risk of being squashed like a bug, there was no chance. It was too much, it was too overwhelming. His eyes darted around for another empty seat that wasn't too visible to everyone else until Xander sat down next to the player and indicated where he should sit--so he did. This was awful. He exhaled quickly, staring down at his desk. It was first thing in the morning, he hadn't prepared for this.
 
Alec sat next to Milo and leaned over to him. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "Deep, slow breaths. Nice and easy. We'll arrive earlier next time."

Xander dug into his bag and soon came up with a stress ball. This one, despite its name, was a square. He set it on Milo's desk then pulled out another one that was a squishy ball filled with sand and had small items within to give the fingers something to focus on. He set it next to the square.
 
Milo did exactly as he was told, and it took a few moments before he was able to recognize and take one of the stress balls, without caring much about which one he grabbed. It wasn't a big deal, he kept trying to remind himself, but it was different, and he didn't understand why it was happening, and he didn't like it, and he wanted to leave class and go home. Or go anywhere. He just wanted something he could trust to be consistent.
 
"I know it's scary," Alec said gently. "Or at least unsettling. Something you expected to be stable wasn't stable, and that's hard to deal with. It's okay to be... unsettled by that. It's frustrating to say the least. But it'll be okay. Just breathe and focus on the ball in your hand and the fact that at least Xander's still next to you, right? That's still the same even if he is on the other side. He won't let anything happen to you. You are safe here to feel however you want to feel." As long as it was quiet, Alec thought as he glanced toward the front of the room where the teacher was getting ready to start.
 
Milo nodded repeatedly, doing his best to take deep breaths. Another, meaner, voice in his head criticized him for being a weird, overdramatic, baby. Nobody else reacted like this. Everyone else just dealt with it. He had to just---hurry up and do better. That's all. With great effort, he managed to settle himself just enough to cope with the rest of class. Really, he'd have to cope with the rest of the day, because he knew he had to go to his next class too, but, it was enough to tell himself he could skip the next one. Even though he couldn't, pretending was worth it.

Slinking down in his seat, he mumbled a thanks to Alec and fished out his notebook to try and actually participate in the class.
 
Alec risked giving Milo's arm a little squeeze of reassurance before turning to his own notebook. He kept an eye on Milo, but he did his best to not seem like he was. He wanted to be supportive, not suffocating or cause further agitation. Finding that balance was hard!

Xander didn't say or do anything after he'd given over the stress balls. He just sat and tried to pretend he was a wall between Milo and his stressor. If this happened again, he might try to get the guy out of Milo's seat. He didn't like seeing Milo so stressed. It might be worth getting a call to the principal's office if he could get the guy to stay out of Milo's spot. Eventually, he remembered he was supposed to be paying attention and tried his best to follow.

Class ended, and the big guy was one of the first out of his seat. He walked past Milo and Xander without glancing at them, but as he slung his backpack over his shoulder, he clipped Alec's shoulder firmly. "Oh. Sorry," he mumbled awkwardly.

"It's okay, accidents happen," Ale said cheerfully even as Xander angrily rose from his seat. "See you next class!"

He got no answer as the guy hurried away.
 
Milo scurried up at the end of the class as quickly as he could, not caring if he bent his folders or anything, he just wanted to be out of the classroom. "It's not what you're supposed to do," he grumbled as he hurried his way outside, "I don't understand, it's the rule of high school, you don't do that."
 
"Well, he is new," Alec pointed out. "Maybe that was the seat he was used to sitting in in his old school. Or maybe he's homeschooled and doesn't know the rules."

"Or maybe he doesn't care and just brings the chaos," Xander drawled.

"No, that would be you," Alec pointed out.

Xander grunted and walked side by side with Milo to their next class.
 
"He has been in our classes all week," Milo retorted morosely, "which means he saw where we were sitting and chose to disrupt it. And that's not okay, there's no point in it, sit in an open seat, you don't have to--displace others." He huffed, digging his nails into the palms of his hands while they were in his pockets so nobody would notice and disrupt him.
 
"Nope, he didn't need to do that," Xander agreed with Milo. "It was scummy. You don't just take someone else's spot."

"As scummy as you two not even taking a second to wonder if maybe he was having a bad day and just didn't think?" Alec retorted from behind them. "That maybe it was an accident or something he couldn't control? Besides, we hadn't arrived yet, meaning it was technically an open seat."

Xander turned to give him a bewildered look. "How can you not control where you sit?"

"I haven't seen him talk to the other footballers once since the incident, and you know as well as anyone that when the football team decides they don't want you to sit somewhere, they don't let you," Alec pointed out. "Look, I'm not saying it was a good thing that he disrupted the flow, but at the end of the day, he's still a person with needs just like us. He hasn't gotten to actually get a seat, has he? We've all sat in the same seats every day, and he should respect that, but other than the two days he sat next to me, he's not once sat in the same seat. What do you think that means?" He pointed into the classroom before they could enter. "Look. Our three seats are open, and he's sitting on the opposite side of the room. Not next to me or in Milo's seat or where he's sat any other day. Maybe we're lucky we have our seats that we've established. It's our safe zone. Where's his safe zone?"
 
Milo turned around and looked at Alec silently, staring blankly at him for a few moments. Had Alec somehow forgotten about forty five minutes ago he nearly had a panic attack in class because the change and confusion about what exactly was happening with this stranger was too much for him? Really, what did Alec expect from him? And it's not like he, Milo, didn't have familiarity with moving around all the time. It's not like he didn't know what it was like to not have a 'safe' zone. He didn't have a brother he could rely on, he hadn't gotten to stay in the school district his entire life. He was, in fact, pretty sure he knew more about what it was like than Alec did, and god forbid he try to talk about how it made him feel. God forbid he not just shrug it off like apparently Alec could, but, well, unfortunately he just wasn't normal enough for that.

But for whatever emotion was in his eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders and in his usual muted way said, "It's just stressful." and took his seat, not looking up again.
 
"Lay off," Xander told Alec sharply.

Alec nodded to Milo. "He makes sensed. You have no excuse. You lay off."

"Just... drop it for class, okay?" Xander huffed, sitting next to Milo.

Alec's jaw tightened. But he sat down and shifted so his back was to them both.

Xander tapped lightly on Milo's desk to get his attention. "Hey. Ignore him, okay? You're alright, and you are right. Just a couple more classes, then we get food, then a couple more, and we're free. One class at a time. We got this."
 
Milo nodded slightly at Xander's words, but didn't look up. He didn't even know what he was supposed to say. Anything he tried to express to Alec these days seemed to annoy him, and he didn't feel good about that, but he didn't know what else he was meant to do or say. He was talking the same as how he had last semester, he thought. Maybe he wasn't. But he thought he was, he felt like he was. Or maybe he was being too open. He supposed he used to not really talk to anyone much at all, and maybe Alec was just learning that he didn't like the things he had to say when he did did speak. And that's fine, but it sucked after so many talks about how he should speak up.

It was hard to focus on history, although he did make an effort at it. He just wanted to lock himself up somewhere private, where he could think or feel whatever it was he was thinking or feeling without being told why what he was thinking and feeling made him bad, actually. Made him selfish. He guessed he probably wasn't being very charitable to the football player, but it didn't seem like the football player was being very charitable to him, either. If Milo couldn't bring himself to be the bigger person with himself, how was he supposed to be the bigger person with a stranger who never even looked his way? Who just came in, threw off his day, and ignored his existence. For godsakes, he could barely handle sitting in a crowded room when he had his consistent, obscured space.

So, he took his notes with his head down, wondering if he could successfully fake an illness.
 
History ended uneventfully, and Alec bounced slightly ahead of Xander and Milo, talking excitedly about castles and moats and other things that were so wrongly taught so often but so incredibly cool when dived into! It was amazing what you could learn from history.

When they entered the next classroom and the last class before lunch, the footballer was sitting in Milo's seat again. Alec caught sight of it first. Moving quickly, he caught Milo's sleeve cuff and walked straight to the footballer, holding tight to Milo's sleeve. He knew he needed to move fast before Milo could protest, run, or collapse in a panic.

"Excuse me," Alec said, walking right up to the front of the desk. "Hi! I know we haven't talked properly before, but you're sitting in my friend's seat."

The big guy lifted his head and looked at Alec blankly. "What?"

Alec pointed to the desk with the hand not holding onto Milo's sleeve. "This is my friend's seat, and he' really appreciate it if you could please move."

"I don't see his name on it," groused the big guy.

Alec nodded. "This is true, and it would make things a lot easier if there were names, I'm sure, but he's sat here since the first day of school for the last couple of years. I bet you understand how hard it is to change that kind of routine."

The big guy glanced from Alec to Milo to Xander, who was quietly steaming at the back. "Uh. Yeah. Sure," he relented, a cloud of anger crossing his face as he stood.

"Thanks! Really we appreciate it," Alec told him. "Would you like to sit next to me again? I'm in that seat." He pointed to the desk he intended to sit in, subtly moving toward the big guy and keeping his attention while allowing Milo plenty of space to slip in behind him and reclaim his seat.

The big baller gave Alec an odd look, the anger slipping away. "Uh. Why?"

Alec shrugged and moved toward his desk. "I did take your seat from you. It seems only fair I offer you a new one. I'm Alec, by the way." He offered the big guy his hand.

The footballer didn't take the offered handshake, but he did mumble, "Austin," and sat down in the offered seat.

Xander took his normal seat and took out a stress ball, but this time he kept it for himself and squeezed so hard and fast it looked like it was about to explode.
 
When Milo saw the footballer in his seat again, he nearly decided, yeah, he'd fake an illness, he'd just go home, because he just, it was too much. And then Alec was dragging him towards him, and his mouth went dry and his face drained of colour. What was happening. What was Alec doing. He had already said, he thought, he had tried to make himself very clear, he didn't want to be the one to talk to the footballer. And suddenly he was being dragged over, and he couldn't get away, and he stared wide eyed at his friend, feeling like he might actually have collapsed if he hadn't been vaguely supported. He could just feel the eyes of everyone else in the class looking, everyone saw him, everyone saw this, and it was a nightmare.

While Alec spoke with the stranger, Milo couldn't do anything but stare at the ground, wide-eyed and nearly trembling. This was worse, right? This was definitely worse than just sitting elsewhere. Because now everybody was looking, and he heard the irritation in the stranger's voice, and what was going to happen if he found out Alec had lied? He hadn't been here for the past couple years, he hadn't even been here for one. As soon as the seat was cleared, Milo dropped down into it, wide-eyed, staring blankly at his desk while his heart beat as though he had just fled a predator. Still, he couldn't think of a thing to say, and wished he'd just vanish. Why did octopodes get to be so lucky?
 
Xander, meanwhile, was wondering what the word was for killing a sibling. He might actually do it. Yeah, Milo now had his spot, and Alec had actually handled it pretty smoothly, the other guy didn't even look annoyed anymore, but Milo looked like he was about to be legitimately sick. Xander allowed himself a little bit of time to be angry. Then he turned to Milo.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Look around. No one is looking. Anyone who saw has already forgotten. You're safe. See? No one cares. No one cares, and you are in your spot. It's going to be okay."

Xander was right. A few people had looked out of curiosity, but no one was looking any longer. Most of them were horsing around while the teacher wrote up on the board. Others were focused on scribbling in their notebooks. Some were only just now coming in and hadn't seen a thing.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top