How Green Becomes Wood

Milo only vaguely heard what Xander told him, he was too busy trying not to cry. It had just been three classes in a row of overwhelming, stressful, stimulus, and it wasn't even lunch yet. Every time he had tried to get back to some semblance of a baseline, something else happened, and he was overwhelmed and fried. It was too much. And it was only the first week. Somewhere in his mind, he knew he needed to take out his notebook, but he just really wanted to shut down completely.
 
Xander glanced around. No one was paying attention. Not even Alec, as he was already focused on his notebook. As quietly as possible, Xander slipped out of his jacket and laid it over Milo's shoulders, putting just a tiny amount of pressure on his friend's back as he did so. He made sure the jacket was secure, placed a couple of stress balls in front of Milo, and then sat back wordlessly, letting Milo work it out.
 
The touch was the first thing that shook Milo enough that he was able to raise his head again, and roughly wiping his cheek with the back of his hand, attempted a deep breath, and then picked up one of the stress balls to do his best to get through it. Even as he gradually settled back down over the course of the class, he still didn't feel okay. It was all still beyond overwhelming, he still wanted to be elsewhere. But he didn't get to be elsewhere, anymore.

When the bell rang, he quietly handed Xander back his jacket and stress balls, and picked up his bag, having gotten exactly nothing from that lesson. Just one more class, and then he had lunch. At least his next one was with the teacher who never had the big light turned on.
 
"See me later and I'll give you my notes," Xander told Milo, taking his jacket. He held it up slightly. It was the leather one, which meant it had a good weight to it. "You can keep this for today, if you want. It's not too hot. If you want."
 
Milo looked at the jacket, and part of him did want to take it, but he shook his head, "People will think we're dating, it'll only cause more trouble for both of us." If it wasn't so distinctive, then maybe, but anyone in the school who knew Xander would know that was his jacket.
 
"I know," Xander said almost gently, "but you still need to eat. Promise me you'll get something down you, okay? I'll be at the bleachers, but I'll get it if you don't want to come. It's fine. I'll be there if you want. Or not." He turned and headed for his next class while Alec waited anxiously a few paces away.
 
"I'll eat," Milo promised quietly, but didn't know where yet. Maybe just in a closet. The cafeteria may actually kill him, but although he appreciated Xander's willingness to meet him somewhere quiet, he didn't know if he could handle even that level of interaction. It had all become too much. He sniffed, and then drifted quietly to his English class.
 
The twins' next class went by fine, though they didn't talk at all to each other. Xander walked with Alec to the cafeteria, and then he left. Alec stood near their table, a sudden empty hole opening up inside and threatening to swallow him. He stood there for a moment, lost and alone. Then he took a deep breath and straightened. It would be okay. Everyone would be okay. He wasn't going to allow himself to think otherwise. He sat down, opened his lunch, and started eating.

As promised, Xander went to the bleachers, but he didn't expect Milo to show up. He didn't mind. It was nice to have a bit of quiet reprieve. Milo wasn't the only one who missed his oportunities to skip class.
 
Just like Xander anticipated, Milo didn't join him in the cafeteria. He thought about it, and even tried to convince himself that he should go, but ultimately decided he couldn't handle it. Although his English class was somewhat settling, he was still done for the day, and still very much considering faking an illness. So, at lunch, he found a quiet janitor's closet, and sat on the floor with the lights off, allowing himself to cry and express everything he needed to express, however he needed to express it, without someone there to pull his hands away. After that, he was able to quickly eat in the little time he had left before pulling himself back together to fight for the end of the school day.

At lunch, though, when Sloan sat down, she looked around and immediately took stock of two things: The look on Alec's face and the lack of a cantankerous second redhead. Quietly leaning over to Alec, she asked, "Is everything okay?"
 
"Yeah, sure, It's fine," Alec said quickly, giving little sharp nods. "Xander is having lunch with Milo, I think." He sighed and started tearing apart his sandwich. He'd packed an extra for Milo if he wanted to share. "I did the usual attempt to help, fall flat on my face, and offend people routine. It's a tired old shtick. This time I get to add on saying something primarily meant for Xander but someone else getting in the way and thinking it was entirely about them, so that's new."
 
"Uh-huh..." Sloan nodded, doing her best to follow despite how vague Alec was being, "Well, I guess... were you trying to be Alec-helpful or them-helpful? Because sometimes the things that would help us aren't necessarily what would help someone else."
 
"Oh, believe me, that is a lesson I am Very. Familiar. with," Alec said through gritted teeth. He sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. It does not matter right now in this moment. Who all is coming to your party tomorrow?" He had one piece of bread in his hand and was deliberately ripping it into smaller and smaller pieces.
 
Sloan shifted before asking, "Is talking about my party going to help you right now? Because I'll tell you all about it, if that's what you need, but if you're just seeking background noise while you stew, I don't know if that's... healthy."
 
Alec bit the inside of his lip as he went over possible responses to Sloan's statement. Part of him wanted to snap, but he couldn't do that, and especially not to Sloan. "I would love to hear all about your party," he said deliberately and made an effort to focus on her. "Unless I have to wait until I show up to get the full effect."
 
"...Okay," Sloan replied, not totally believing him, but if it's what he needed, she'd go for it, "It's not really a... full effect, thing. My mom and I had different opinions of what it should look like, um, and of course my mom's opinion... won out, because... that's how it goes. But I'm having you and Xander, Peter, Rumy, Sherri, Becky, and pretty much my entire gymnastics team except for Britney, because she's the most two-faced person you'll ever meet on the mat. Which is to say she was really nice to me until I started scoring higher than her. But everyone knows we don't get along so it's not weird. We're pretty much just getting pizza and having cake, it's not... cool, you know? Like it's not the party of the year by any stretch."
 
"I wanted to go to Six Flags, but I wanted everyone to have to wear a themed outfit. I never got to the point of picking the theme, because my mom said no immediately. But I see all those videos online of people showing up to a party dressed as their type or as one of their friends' favourite things or something fun like that. Obviously not so extreme we'd be kicked out, but I think it'd be really funny to show up and the pictures would be great. Even if we just did the costume part and not Six Flags or one the one night and six flags the other. I just wanted it to feel, you know, not like every other birthday party."
 
"That makes sense to me," Alec agreed, and, of course, he made a note to text every person Sloan had mentioned. If they kept the costumes low-key and not too outrageous and came all on their own, surely her mom couldn't mad at her! Sloan had only mentioned it to one person. He'd tell them to all say they just thought they'd be funny or something. "Well, maybe next year! Or maybe Peter will throw another party and tell you about it in advance this time."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top