How Green Becomes Wood

"They are," Dark agreed, frowning, "I always thought... Well, the problems behind it are so complicated. Teachers are underpaid, under appreciated by parents, students, and the school board, public school doesn't get the funding it needs, the expectations are absurd, but teachers get the blame for it, even though we don't decide the standards we have to fulfill, they are dictated to us. It was something I wanted to change, but something which cannot be fixed by one person."
 
"As tragic as it is, I think burning the educational system down and rebuilding it would be more efficient," Dark said blandly, "but the problem is it would put students out of an education while I became a dictator specifically for the school system."
 
"I don't see a problem," Xander said with an overly innocent expression.

Alec tapped his chin. "It's not such a bad idea, I suppose. Just burn them down in sections. States are supposed to be responsible for such things, right? So just destroy and remake each state individually."
 
"Just don't go to prison, Goose, because I don't want the stress of figuring out how to smuggle things in for you," Daizi teased.

"Why would you have to smuggle things in for me?" Dark asked with bemused appreciation.

"Because I'm not going to let you suffer," She told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "But you'd run that prison, so it'd probably be okay. You'd end up as the warden."
 
"She'd be sneaking in your skincare routine and razors to keep your beard in check," Xander told him, eying said beard with obvious envy.

Alec nodded. "You would be running that prison for sure!"
 
"I absolutely would," Daizi laughed, delighted by the idea, "I'd get Enkidu certified as a service dog, so they had to let him in when I visited you, and I'd have things hidden in his fur and beneath his vest. Who would think to pat down a blind woman's service dog?"

"You are diabolical," Dark grinned, "I am glad to know I would be saved from finishing my sentence looking like I had been stranded in the woods for a year." He caught sight of Xander's glance, but it didn't seem like something needing to be addressed. Really, he felt sorry the teenager was unable to grow what he clearly desired, "Even more than the beard, I would need something to take care of my eyebrows so I do not come out with a horrible unibrow."

Maybe that would be something to make his situation less glamorous.
 
"But if you did let your appearance go a little and grew giant eyebrows, maybe they'd respect and fear you even faster," Alec remarked.

"Nah, nah, being mysteriously always neat and tidy, that's far scarier," Xander replied.
 
"I already do have giant eyebrows," Dark replied, "I do not desire a giant eyebrow, singular. If I was walking around at my size and a unibrow, I think rather than being respected and feared, I would be perceived as an idiot henchman. I would need to be more like Hannibal Lector."

Daizi snorted, stopping just shy of making a wildly inappropriate joke, and pivoted to, "Maybe you actually would join the Arab Mafia. How fun would that be for everyone who presumed you were in it already?"

"Well I do not know," He replied, shifting to look at Xander, "How fun would it be? When you first saw my illustrations I believe your first remark was to inquire about my membership status. Unless I am misremembering."
 
Xander shrugged at the question, thinking back. "I don't know if 'fun' is the right word. Bewildering, ironic, confusing... one of those might fit better. But if it works, it works, so you do what you gotta do."

"You could use people's assumption that you are the idiot henchman to your advantage until you are ready to establish dominance," Alec pointed out.
 
"Yes, but is it worth all of the time spent masquerading as a fool?" Dark asked, amused by the whole idea.

"I wish you could rule something, even if it wasn't a prison. I suppose especially if it wasn't a prison. If we ruled a kingdom, then Xander could be head of the Calvary, Alec... I
want to say he'd be the castle bard, but that doesn't seem quite prestigious enough."

"He would be the Master of Ceremonies," Dark answered resolutely.

"Yes, exactly!"
 
"Can I be a bard and the master of ceremonies?" Alec asked hopefully.

"Head of the calvary, huh? Yeah, I could roll with that," Xander mused. "Now we definitely gotta move out to somewhere nearby because then we'd be expanding your territory."

"That's true! A peaceful expansion of the kingdom!" Alec cheered.
 
"It's very common for nobility to also learn to play instruments. You'd certainly be allowed to make all the music you like," Daizi replied, finding this fictional scenario much more delightful than the prison one. "And you would be in charge of planning all the celebrations."

Dark looked at Daizi, "And you would be my queen and most trusted advisor, who scrys and works her magic up in her tower."

"We'd be like the Macbeths, except without the tyranny and being murdered at the end after a failure to subvert prophecy," She grinned, "If you two ever move out, the expansion of territory will be quite peaceful, given where you move to was not already occupied."
 
"What if we slowly took over this neighborhood one house at a time?" Xander suggested.

"Lex might be willing to swear loyalty to the new kingdom provided we don't annoy her too much," Alec grinned. "She'd make a great blacksmith and a black knight!"

Xander glanced at the window. "We already have our sworn enemy who works against us. First thing we gotta do is cripple them by taking over the HOA."
 
Daizi laughed, "That would be perfect!"

"If I was head of the HOA..." Dark said slowly, a glimmer in his eyes, "Imagine how this street would look in October."

"I bet we'd make national news if the entire neighborhood committed to our level," Daizi grinned, dreaming with him even though she couldn't totally engage with the extent of the decorations.

"I bet we would," He agreed, "I find it difficult to tell who Cooger would be."

"The forest hermit, every good kingdom has one."
 
Alec nodded quickly. "Of course! He is one who lives on the outskirts, the secret brother to the King, the one entrusted to all the secrets, and the last defense should anything happen to threaten the kingdom. It's his job to keep the princess safe."

Xander snorted. "As if anything would get past us!"

"We still need a safe hiding place for just in case," Alec pointed out. "A tactical retreat before retaking the kingdom."

"Good point," Xander agreed.
 
"Oh, it's so dramatic," Daizi shivered, "What serious threats! I can just imagine having to put her safe into a saddlebag, or something, and sending Xander off into the dead of night, riding as quickly as he could, to get to Cooger before the invasion began."

"Then he would not be here for the battle," Dark pointed out.

"He'd be like Éomer, he'd ride in at the 12th hour," Daizi pointed out, "We couldn't send her with anyone else to get to safety, because he'd be the swiftest rider, obviously!"
 
"This is true. He would be the fastest rider. He'd be the best choice," Alec nodded.

Xander shook his head. "Nah, speed isn't everything. Alec would be a better choice. He's getting the hang of makeup, clothing, and all of that. He'd be able to get her out by sneaking her under the radar in disguise."
 
"How old is she when we are getting her to safety?" Dark asked curiously, "A baby is rather a different thing to smuggle out than a child. A child would need to be disguised, a baby just needs to be transported quickly and quietly."

Daizi thought about this for a few moments, "If... they both went, then Alec could care for her at Cooger's, and he could ride to our defense with Xander."

Shaking his head, Dark said, "No, one red-headed prince can be covert, two would be noticed. One needs to stay behind, and if Cooger rides to war, then it would need to be Alec to deliver Ivy, regardless of her age."
 
"This is very true," Alec agreed, nodding. "The princess would be kept safe, secure, and hidden until it is safe once more! And in the meantime, we'll play games. Like Dungeons and Dragons!"

Xander frowned. "What? Where does that come from?

"Doesn't that sound like the perfect game to play in times of peace? You, Sir Xander, could be an ogre," Alec said with a mischievous smirk.
 
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