How Green Becomes Wood

"If you say so," Xander said. He glanced around, puzzled. Where had Alec gone off to. "Speaking of you doing stuff, how's the photography?"

~~

Meanwhile, Alec had scurried off to where he'd seen Emma standing. He caught up to her as she was turning away from her locker. "Emma! Emma, hi! I waved to you three times today, but I guess you didn't see?"

"I saw, but I'm ignoring you," Emma sniffed, turning away from him and walking down the hall.

"I kind of guess that by the second unanswered text and the third wave, but I don't understand why," Alec said, following her.

"You should know why!" she snapped, but with a vulnerable edge to her tone.

Alec pondered a moment. "No, I really don't, which means that if you don't tell me, I can't fix it or at least apologize for it."

She glanced at him and slowed her hasty speed-walk so he could walk next to her. "You really don't get it? You were hugging that girl! I mean, I know we aren't officially dating, which means I guess I don't actually have any real claims on your affection, but is it really fair of you to go around hugging other girls like that? At least tell me you aren't interested in me instead of having me see it in the parking lot. And then you didn't text me at all yesterday." She sniffed and shook her head as if trying not to cry.

Alec was confused for a moment. "What girl- Oh!" The light dawned. "You mean Sloan! Yes, I did hug her, but she's one of my best friends, and I promise you, she's not interested in me like that."

Emma looked at him suspiciously. "Isn't it the person that you're told not to be worried about that you should be worried about?"

"She's also my next-door neighbor, and she recently got out of a terrible relationship and needs time to heal before she's interested in anyone, but between you and me, even if she was interested in guys for dating purposes," he amended smoothly, realizing his mistake just in time, "she'd be more interested in Xander than me. I guarantee it. And I hugged her because she was being really kind and checking up on me because yesterday was a really hard day for me. For both of us."

"It was? Why?" Emma asked, slowing to a stop. She looked at him uncertainly, torn between concern and still wanting to be offended.

Alec took a deep breath. "Our mum, our biological mother, she died two years ago yesterday."

"Oh!" Her eyes went wide. "That's why you weren't in school yesterday! And... that's why you were being so testy this week? Why didn't you tell me?"

Alec ducked his head. "That's my bad, but I am not good at processing things like that yet. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I mean, I'd rather you'd not been so sharp, but I see why you were," Emma assured him. Then she rallied. "But if we are going to date, I don't know that i like you hugging girls randomly like that. You haven't even hugged me yet."

"I haven't had the opportunity, and I've known Sloan for longer," Alec pointed out. "I don't hug any random girl, just the ones I know very well, and I'm afraid that's not really going to change. I like to hug people, and I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm not going to lie and say I can totally change when I'm not so sure I can or want to change that about myself."

"Well, at least you are honest," she said hesitantly. "Can you at least promise me no hug will last beyond three seconds? And if you ever feel like, you know, doing more than hugging with a girl, you'll back off?"

"That I can promise," Alec assured her. "I'm sorry it stressed you out like that." He smiled and held out his arms. "All better? I hope?"

She hesitated a little longer before relenting and accepting the hug. "Better."

Alec counted to three out loud and let go. "Like that?"

"Just like that," she giggled. "So, next week is break time. And we are going out?"

"Sunday or Monday? I have practice on Sunday, but I can go anywhere before or after," Alec assured her.

"Sunday at eleven for a hot beverage?" Emma asked.

"Deal! Meet you at the cafe?"

"Deal." She leaned in and gave him another quick hug before heading off to the cafeteria.

Alec sighed dreamily, holding onto the feel of her body so close to his for a moment longer. She smelled really nice. Like lemon candy. He shook himself back to reality and headed for the cafeteria and to find his brother.
 
"It's going good, yeah," Milo said, looking down at the camera he still always wore, "My grandparents said they might get me a digital camera for Christmas. And I don't really know how I feel, you know, because I really like the hands-on nature of film, I like, you know, the dark room, and what it's like to really gradually and meticulously bring the image to life. I like the mistakes and stuff. Even though they can be annoying and costly. But, I've seen what more modern cameras can do. I guess I'm a little bit interested in trying it. And then I'd be able to show people the pictures right away, you know? But really good digital cameras are expensive, and so are the editing softwares."
 
"I guess for now just thank them and make a show of using it. It means they are taking an interest in your interests, i guess, even if it's not quite right, and even if you don't come to love it, it could be cool to play with it even without the editing," Xander mused. "You know, I was thinking about history and pictures recently."

Alec came trotting over and grinned at Xander and Milo. "HI, Milo! Are you joining us today?"

"Where have you been?" Xander demanded.

"Oh, you know," Alec stalled, not sure what Milo had told Xander.
 
Milo earnestly did not pick up on how Alec was stalling, instead just saying, after greeting Alec, "Dunno. Hadn't thought about it." Before turning back to Xander, "Were you really? What about them?"
 
"You can join us if you'd like," Alec invited. "What are you talking about?"

"Pictures and history," Xander told Alec. "I was just thinking about how pictures preserve memories more than... pretty much anything. In a box of random stuff, it's the pictures you look at first. Even if you have no idea who the people are in the picture, you kind of... don't want to toss them because you don't want to see the memories trashed." He shrugged. "Sentimental stuff."
 
"That's why I like taking them," Milo replied staring down at his shoes, "I like getting to hold the memory as it happened. Stories will change, because memories aren't perfect. But I can go back through the pictures I have and see how things had been. That's also what makes me anxious about digital. Physical media has better longevity."
 
"I don't know much about cameras, but I do know you can print digital photos, and it's probably safer and cheaper," Xander pointed out musingly as he started walking into the cafeteria. "I know that doesn't answer all you fears, but there is a glitter of hope."
 
"It's not the prints," Milo replied with a furrowed brow, "It's the originals. I have tubs of used film, if I lose a copy of one of my photographs I can remake it, so long as I don't lose the film. But if the digital copy is gone? Corrupted? Then it is as though it never existed. There's a lot of lost media in the world, you wouldn't think it. Whole libraries of Alexandria, lost more times than you'd think, because," he waved a hand, "computers advance, and suddenly a file format isn't supported anymore. You can't access it. Look at Flash Games, some are saved by emulators, but one day, there'll be a need for emulators of emulators. Physical media deteriorates, too, but we already know it's impermanent, so it doesnt sneak up on you."
 
"That's what backups are for, and backups of backups," Xander pointed out patiently. "I think only the really ignorant believe digital is forever. Nothing is, and loads of stuff gets lost every day, but if someone like you is capturing it in two different medias, then it has a better chance of survival. I mean, considering how dangerous film development on your own is, I'm pretty surprised minors like us can do it without a license or adult supervision."
 
He shrugged, "They aren't that dangerous. I mean, they're not good to get into your eyes, but I'm not working with lead. I just... distrust the devaluation of physical media. People used to buy physical dvds and cds and video games, right? But now you buy video games online, and you listen to music and watch movies on streaming services, or at best you buy a digital copy, and buying a digital copy means you don't own it, you've licensed it, and they can revoke it. What do we leave for our kids? I have a few CDs from my dad, and my grandpa still has some vinyls. Tangibility means something."
 
"Not arguing that, and it's good to try to keep up some old stuff, but progress changes, and so does how we store stuff," Xander pointed out. "Besides, loads of people still buy physical. Vinyls are really popular right now. They were for a while, died off, and then came back a million times. Meanwhile, nobody even remembers what an eight-track is. Some stuff sticks, some doesn't, but I think not exploring the intangible means you might miss out on a lot of fun stuff. I don't think one's better than the other, I think both are needed, but with the new digital stuff, it does mean one really good thing: Less stuff. Less waste. Less junk in houses, landfills, and the ocean. Plus, more availability. I like physical books, but some books aren't available physically or are ridiculously expensive, and audiobooks are digital. Audio books are a big deal."
 
"I'm not against it holistically," Milo murmured, walking with them towards the cafeteria, "I just worry about the future. How will things be, one day? I worry about what we'll lose."
 
"We lose less in the future by treasuring what we have in the present. That includes what we have of the past," Xander said with a shrug. "There will always be people like you, and by being you, you've saved a lot already. By doing something you enjoy."
 
"I guess so," He replied, looking ahead of them, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, "But do you remember when we went to your mom's museum? How there are all these objects where they have no idea what they were for? Do you ever think about the future when you and I and everyone we know, and everything about our lives that matter to us, is gone? What's left of us, then? People, all people, wake up every day, and do what we can to survive, and to prepare, and but all the while, we're dust, and maybe, maybe one day someone will dig up remnants of who we were, but they won't know our names or if we had a favourite song. And digital or physical media won't do anything to save us, but I like having something to hold onto so I can pretend."
 
Xander studied Milo seriously. "Stitch, I genuinely have no idea what to say to all of that. I don't even know how we got from your grands giving you a digital camera to here, and I don't really like being here because I feel lost and confused when we're here. I don't even know how to continue this or change the topic without making you feel bad, and that's the worst of all."
 
Milo looked back at Xander for a few moments, and then looked away, staring down at the ground, "It's just the sorta thing I think about. I don't know. We don't have to talk about it. I don't feel bad, just. Awkward. I guess. I don't know what things to talk about."
 
"Sorry. I don't mind the subject, you just kind of have mic-drop moments that I don't know how to follow. I'm not very good at carrying that kind of conversation," Xander shrugged. "It's not that I mind it, I just... feel like I'm letting you down a bit. Sorry."
 
"No, it's okay," Milo replied, adjusting his bag, "I think, you know, I don't know what the good responses should be. I just, I think because I've spent so much time by myself, I've spent too much time thinking."

As they spoke, Daizi sent a quick text to Xander: Habibi, your father and I were finalizing the guest list for Ivy's party, did you and Alec want to invite any of your friends? Peter is already coming because we can't not invite him if we're inviting Sally and Jack, but we don't want you two to feel bored or overwhelmed with so many unfamiliar adults
 
"I spend most of my time alone trying not to think," Xander admitted. He paused and fished out his phone when he felt it buzz. He read it and considered for a second. "Want to come to a birthday party for a one-year-old? The guest list is something like 30 people who are from a culture where everyone is loud, boisterous, and excited. There will be a lot of unfamiliar food, too. Sound like the best party ever, right?"
 
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