How Green Becomes Wood

"You will stop. Eventually. It feels terrifying and like it won't stop, but eventually, you will stop," Sally assured her. "There is a bottom. It is just sometimes a long way down."
 
"I didn't want this," Daizi replied, "I've been trying to make it better for myself. I have been. I haven't just not been caring and ignoring people, I've been trying but it's not that easy and nothing I've tried has helped."
 
"Nobody wants this, darling," Sally said gently. "Nobody asks to feel like this. I see that you have been trying, that you have been working, but sometimes we cannot help ourselves no matter how strong we are. Sometimes, our friends cannot help us no matter how much they might want to. Sometimes we need outside help. Just as if we needed to take care of an external injury and need a doctor. It is not about not being strong enough. It is not about being hindered in some way. It is about allowing yourself to accept outside help. That looks different for different people."
 
"I know you care. I know you listen to them," Sally assured her. "And perhaps we all push you a bit too hard. We do it because we care about you, which is not perhaps a good excuse. I don't mean to hurt you more than you are already hurting, darling, I really don't, but I am frightened for you and trying to help in my bungling way."
 
"I don't want to let anyone down," Daizi sniffed, her breath stuttering although she wasn't actively crying anymore, "and I know everyone is going to say that I won't, and I want to believe that, I do, but I don't want people to tell me they told me so."
 
"Oh, Daizi, love, that is not what they think at all," Sally sighed, truly saddened. "You did everything you could. That means you did enough. You do enough every single day by getting out of bed and working so hard in every aspect of your life. There is literally no way on earth I can think of how you might disappoint anyone in your life."
 
"I know I am right," Sally said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I know I'm right because while I am sure I am near the bottom of the list of people you might let down, I am assuming I am on the list, and you could never disappoint me or let me down. From what I have seen and been told by yourself and Peter, your boys could never be disappointed. Your husband wants nothing more than help you even to the point of asking for help from friends."
 
"You did no such thing," Sally assured her. "I am your friend, and as such, I desire to share your troubles as well as your joys. I hope next time we can share some joys, for your sake, but I will always be availible to hear your sorrows."
 
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