How Green Becomes Wood

Daizi took Ivy from Dark. It wasn't too hard to keep her occupied while she cooked and he needed a moment to rest and recenter himself, so she brought Ivy to the kitchen so they could cook 'together' and she ordered Dark upstairs to lie in underneath a weighted blanket in their room with all the lights off. This was the exact sort of thing which she had been living in fear of, and it was about as awful as she feared it would be, but right now, she was less depressed than her husband, so she'd handle things.
 
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"Nearly," Daizi replied, having been able to settle some while she cooked. Once again, Ivy was helping to stir, and she tipped her head back and grinned brightly at Xander when he walked in, "I hope you actually dressed for the weather."
 
Ivy squeaked happily and then went back to stirring her lentils in the pot.

"Sure, I'll set the table down here and then go and get your father." Daizi replied, taking dinner out of the oven, "Xander?"
 
"I just wanted to say thank you. I know things are a bit..." Although she grappled for the right word for some time, eventually she just shrugged and said, "A bit everything, right now. Thank you for still just being yourself. It helps."
 
"You're welcome. I think," Xander said with a faint smile. "Don't worry. Things will sort themselves out eventually. I'll go grab Alec." He headed upstairs and let himself in. "Hey, dinner's ready."

"Not hungry," Alec grumbled at the wall.

Xander leaned on the doorway. "You'll make them worry more."

Alec huffed. "I'd rather not eat up here than be down there with them and feeling them watching me. I'm not coming down."

Xander shrugged. "Fine, but you're being ridiculous." He went back downstairs and delivered the information that Alec would not be joining them.
 
Daizi sighed, "Alright. Keep an eye on your sister, would you? While I go get your father." She stretched, headed for the stairs, but then stopped, came back around, fixed a dinner plate for Alec and went upstairs, leaving it outside his door. After she set it down, she knocked, simply said Dinner, and then went to get her husband. Certainly, some parenting books would say she was giving into his negative behavior, but given his history with food, that child was not allowed a hunger strike.

Luckily, Dark was not as pouty and didn't need to be convinced to come downstairs. He might be dealing with depression, but he didn't want to make that everyone else's problem.
 
Alec did eventually fetch the plate and ate a fair amount before putting the plate back out. He wasn't very hungry, but he could eat some, so he did.

Later, Xander went up, fetched the plate and brought it back down to wash. He stayed downstairs for a while, mostly making sure everything was taken care of and looked after.
 
The thought did not help assuage Dark's guilt anymore, but dinner was easier to get through when he wasn't immediately dealing with someone who was hardly willing to so much as look at him. Daizi just did her best to not dwell and keep handling things that needed to be handled. Ivy still needed to be occupied, and when it was bed time, she told Dark he should be the one to lay her down. Tomorrow would be a new day. All they could do was take it as things came.
 
Xander eventually headed to his room and closed the door before plunking down on his bed and folded himself up. "You're seriously setting a record for yourself for longest sulk."

Alec sniffed in annoyance as he tried to coil the braided rope around the circle and sew it. It was an awkward process. "Not you, too."

“I just think you’re going too far with this,” Xander said, sitting cross-legged on his bed.

“Says the absolute king of sulking and pitching fits,” Alec said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, come on, my things were never like this,” Xander complained. “You literally picked a fight with Ba over something you know he’s sore about, and it's not even a bad thing or unreasonable. It’s not that hard to maintain decent grades and have a life. I proved that.”

“I think that maybe you should mind your own fights and let me have mine,” Alec stated. “It might be a stupid fight, but it’s mine. Not yours. Besides, it’s not just grades.”

Xander huffed and shifted his position. “I just don’t get what you’re hoping to accomplish with this. What’s the end goal?”

“My end goal is to prove that I know what I’m doing and I’m not just squandering my opportunities,” Alec stated, stabbing his needle hard into the fabric.

“By squandering your opportunities by not turning in any work?” Xander asked blandly.

“By showing him how it could be instead of what it is,” Alec said. He tied off his thread and cut his needle loose before storing it away safely. “He doesn’t trust me to know what I’m doing even after telling me not to worry, I’ve got it. He wants me to trust myself and the process, but when I do, he gets upset with me for not doing what he wants me to do, which is not what I want to do, which is what he told me to do. I’ve been doing all my work, and I’ll turn it in at the end of this week. Next week, we go back to business as usual. I’m still learning all the stuff, I’m not losing out.”

Xander scrunched up his face as he tried to follow that logic. “Alright,” he said at last. “That makes no sense to me, none whatsoever, but if that’s what you want to do, I guess I can’t stop you. I just wish you’d make up with Ba. He’s beating himself over this.”

“Ba beats himself up no matter what I do or say, anyway, even when I’m trying to get along, so we lose in both directions,” Alec said flatly. “I just want him, this one time, to let me win this. To see I do have a plan. I never have a plan. I have one this time, and I want him to let me have it.”

Xander grunted. He doubted it would be this one time. Alec had gotten a bug in his head, and he wasn’t letting go, so Xander would just let this madness run its course and hope they all made it out on the other side.

Alec’s phone chimed, but it wasn’t near Alec. Alec looked around, puzzled, and peered under a few items. It chimed again, and this time he could pinpoint the sound as coming from the pile of torn fabric strips creeping steadily toward Xander’s bed. “That’s probably Becky. She said she’d text me the details of the next school play. I wanted to see if I could help out with the makeup. Could you grab that for me?”

“Dude. This is getting out of hand,” Xander growled, un-curling and standing up so he could dig under the fabric and reach the phone.

“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. Just kick it more toward my side and you’ll be fine,” Alec assured him, focused on trying to thread in some new strips to his braid.

“I’m expecting some kind of science project to be growing under your bed,” Xander said. He located the phone and swiped the screen open. The text was from Becky, but the text app was already open to Alec’s last contact. Xander did not mean to read the text. He meant to open Becky’s text to Alec, read it to him, and then toss him the phone, something he’d done many times before. Automatically, his eyes skimmed the words presented before him, and he read a text not meant for him. He froze, his thumb hovering over the back button to take him to the right text thread. He re-read the text.


I know it’s not traditional, but I want to take you out on a date this time! My turn, my treat. How does Tuesday or Wednesday sound? There’s a nice little Mexican place that has live music sometimes at any time of the week. We might get lucky.


Date? This time? Turns? Who was talking about dates? Xander glanced at the name. Emma. Without thinking, lost in his confusion, he scrolled up, scanning a few other texts. This wasn’t an isolated incident. The conversations were familiar, almost intimate at time, flirty, awkward… everything you’d expect to find between teen partners exploring their first relationship. There were also an insane amount of emojis. Xander stopped at one from Alec to Emma.


I like holding your hand. I like hugging you as more than just a friend. I’d even like to maybe kiss you, but doing it in public is scary. I don’t know why.

Emma had responded: So, it’s not just because you haven’t told your brother?

No, it’s not that. I do mean to tell him, I just know he’ll be mad so I’m bracing myself. I don’t like doing it in public because I’m shy.

That’s so cute! Don’t worry. I understand. My mother would never let me out of the house if I ran around making out with-



“Hello? Was that Becky? What are you doing?” Alec asked, jolting Xander out of his shocked reading.

Xander looked up from the phone, holding it like it was about to catch fire.

Alec glanced from Xander to the phone and back. The penny dropped. His eyes widened, his face paling. “What are you reading?” he asked quietly.

Xander turned the phone to face Alec. “You’ve been dating a girl. Emma. You’ve been going out with her. It wasn’t drama club meetings or school friends. It was a girl.”

Alec dropped his rug and held out his hand for the phone. “What are you doing reading my private texts?”

Xander threw the phone to Alec’s bed. “Because you asked me to, you idiot! You left your phone open to the one with Emma!”

“That’s still no excuse,” Alec gasped, scrambling for his phone.

“When were you going to tell me?” Xander demanded furiously, raising his voice slightly. “When were you going to tell me about you and Emma?”

“Soon,” Alec promised, not quite looking at Xander. “I knew you’d react like this, so I didn’t want to!”

“I’m acting like this because you’ve been lying to me!” Xander shouted.

“I didn’t tell you because you’d get mad at me!” Alec yelled back, shoving things out of his way so he could stand.

“Yeah? You’re sure? You didn’t give me a chance to prove otherwise, did you?” Xander shot back. “You should have just told me!”

Alec scoffed. “What, like how you tell the truth about why you won’t do Judo tournaments?"

“That’s different and you know it!”

“Is it? It’s still lying! I’ve seen what you’re like after just regular class! You can’t stand the touching! You do it because you need the anger outlet, but then you come home and scrub until you’re red! And you’re worse after tournaments! But you don’t tell anyone! How’s that any different? My secret’s not hurting anyone, but yours is hurting you!”

“That’s not the same at all! I’m dealing with it! I’m learning! I’m building tolerance! Yours is just a straight-up pointless lie!” Xander accused. “I’m not scared of telling people, I just think it’s not their business!”

“And maybe who I date isn’t your business! But that’s not why you do it!” Alec jabbed a finger at Xander. “You don’t tell because you’re afraid that Mama and Ba will make you stop because it’s hurting you! I don’t say anything because, guess what, I think that just maybe you know what you’re doing!”

Xander snorted scoffingly. “Really? That’s why you don’t say anything? And you really think those two scenarios are even remotely related? No. You’re just trying to get the attention off of yourself and the fact that you lied to me! Me! It’s one thing to avoid telling me and even hide it, but to outright lie?”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, gee, I don’t know,” Xander said sarcastically, “maybe think of someone other than yourself for five seconds?”

“What are you talking about, all I was doing was thinking about you and how upset you’d feel!” Alec protested. “How betrayed you’d feel!”

“As betrayed as being lied to?” Xander demanded. He shook his head. “No, stop making excuses for yourself. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want to feel bad. That’s not a big deal! Not nearly as big as lying to me.” He turned to pace, and his foot caught on the fabric pieces, making him stumble. He swore and kicked the pile, sending part of it flying. “You’re just plain selfish!”

“Stop that!” Alec yelped, rushing to try to save the flying bits of fabric. “I had that partially sorted!”

“Why should I care? You clearly don’t care about me!” Xander shouted, kicking group of broken mobiles and sending them in a tangled tumble toward Alec’s bed.

“Stop!” Alec shrieked, diving to grab them. “This is my stuff! Mine! Leave it alone!” He half crouched over it, trying pointlessly to shield it. “This isn’t for you!”

Xander aimed a kick at a pile of folded shirts. “This is my space that you refuse to stay out of! I have asked and asked and asked you to keep your trash on your side!”

“It’s not trash!”

“But you won’t! Because your trash is worth more to you than the feelings of others! Your feelings are all that matter! How you feel, how other people react to you, it’s all about you! I can’t breathe in this room! I can’t think! This is supposed to be our room, but I’m just a footnote!”

“Leave it alone!” Alec demanded, nearly sobbing. “Leave me alone! Get out! Stop it!”

“Fine!” Xander snarled. He grabbed his coat and kicked an old pillow out of his way as he stalked toward the bedroom. “You sit here by yourself with your stuff and your girlfriend and your lies and you have fun being all about you!” He shoved the bedroom door open and stormed out, heading downstairs.

Alec half fell onto the floor, gripping random items in his hands, sobbing.
 
Since Ivy was already soundly sleeping in her crib, Dark and Daizi were taking a quiet moment to themselves on the couch and were sharing a bit of wine. They weren't saying much, just enjoying the comfort of being with each other in a moment like this. Daizi had one leg propped up on the coffee table and her head on his shoulder, Dark had his head against hers. Occasionally, she'd would chuckle softly, sometimes he'd take a shuddering breath, although he didn't cry. Neither of them did. They were too tired. They both felt like it.

Enkidu had been stretched across both of their laps, delighted by the late night attention, but he heard the sounds from upstairs first and leapt off the couch to go watch the bottom of the stairs. This on its own caught Dark and Daizi's attention, but at the sound of footsteps and the sight of their son, Dark set his wine glass down and said, "Xander? Is everything okay?"
 
Xander stormed into the living room, not looking at anything or anyone exactly, almost frantic in his movements. "Yes. No," he said shortly. "I don't know!" He made a short circuit around the room. "No. I need out. I need to get out. I can't breathe." He turned and strode toward the front door.
 
Xander yanked on his jacket, not really hearing his parents. He heard them talking, but the words did not compute. He strode outside, walking rapidly. Maybe movement would help make things make sense. Maybe being out here where it was quiet, where there was space, where there wasn't so much stuff.

"There's a girl," he finally said, not even aware if his parents could hear him or if they were even near him at the moment. "He's got a girlfriend. She likes holding hands in public. They've been keeping secret from me. He's been lying to me. Hiding it. Lying to me!" He was half yelling, half growling the words. "And there's stuff everywhere! I can't move! I can't breathe! It's everywhere! All over! And he's been hiding and lying and just doesn't care!"
 
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When Xander walked outside, Dark and Daizi paused for only a moment before Dark pulled on his coat and followed Xander outside. They both couldn't go, because of Ivy, but Daizi lingered in the doorway worriedly.

Dark only walked after Xander, hands deep in his pockets. It seemed important to just let Xander vent for a time to settle himself at least somewhat and, truthfully, he was afraid if he admitted that he knew, he'd have two sons who refused to speak to him. So for just then, he walked alongside Xander and listened, admittedly behaving not too differently from what he did when Ivy was having a tantrum. He was just making himself available while Xander regulated.

Meanwhile, Daizi only listened for a short while before shutting the front door and going upstairs, standing just outside Alec's room but not knocking. She wanted to check on him, but didn't want to smother him.
 
Xander kept walking, lost and tangled in his own thoughts. "He said he didn't want me mad at him for seeing a girl. Maybe I would have been. I don't know. Not mad. Not happy. Not about the girl. Emma. But he lied to me. He lied. To me. Not just hid. Lied. I can't... I don't know what to do with that. And his stuff is everywhere! I can't! I just... None of it!" He pulled his hands through his hair and gripped it hard enough to pull at his scalp, needing the pressure and light pain to keep himself grounded in reality.

The bedroom door stood open still where Xander had left it. Alec didn't notice Daizi's presence. He remained on the floor surrounded by his treasures, weeping. He never once feared losing his father or mother. That was part of why he felt safe enough to act out. He knew they loved him. He knew they'd never leave. They'd never abandon him or kick him out. They were there. Xander? Xander he knew would always love him, but would he stay? Would he stay with his brother? Would he leave? Never speak to him again? Had Alec hurt Xander beyond repair?
 
"He should have given you the chance," Dark said finally, staying right by his side. "He should have trusted you."

Hearing him sob, Daizi couldn't resist coming inside and sitting down on the floor and just said, "Come here, habibi."
 
"Yes!" Xander blurted. "Yes! I know I keep some things from him, but I don't lie. There's a difference! I would tell him before I lied. I would! And nothing I keep, none of it's as big as a first relationship. Why? Why didn't he tell me? Why is he being such an a**?"

Still clutching a tiny teddy bear with one eye missing (a rejected toy meant to go with flowers), Alec half crawled to Daizi and into her arms. His tears had a panicked edge to them as he clung to her. Everything was broken now. It was all gone and destroyed. He'd ruined it all!
 
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