How Green Becomes Wood

"I assumed as much," Dark replied, shutting the door behind them as they came back inside. As soon as he had touched the salt, taking a few extra moments to appreciate the feeling of the grains against his fingers. The spirituality of the touch never moved him, but the bowl being there meant he was home and back in a place where he was loved and protected. On nights like these, he needed the silent reminder. Then he locked the door and removed his shoes, "You are fortunate to be young and your height."

Daizi began rocking him again, "You let it all out, habibi," she murmured to him with her cheek against his hair, "I've got you."
 
"Yep. Especially the young part," Xander agreed. He looked toward the stairs as he ran his fingers through the salt. Then he wandered over and plopped onto the couch with a massive sigh. "Not constantly being around things that hurt makes the times that do hurt that much more... hurty."

Alec cried himself out a second time until he was numb. He stayed there in Daizi's arms, exhausted and almost asleep. There were times when he almost missed the days before they came to live here. He loved his family, and he would never say it out loud, but there were times when he missed the simplicity of his old life. It was hard and dangerous and absolutely not good for a child, but there was always a clear path ahead. Survival was clear-cut in most cases, and he and his brother always faced it together. Now, it seemed more often than not, they were at odds. What had happened to them? To their relationship? What was wrong with his head? He just wanted to capture the happy times and stay there. The good days when things worked. When things were right. When love and loyalty shone their brightest. When he wasn't messing everything up.
 
"I understand how you feel." Dark said tiredly, still standing. "Believe me, I do. But there is no avoiding pain, it comes for us all, even when we feel we have had our fair share of it long ago."

When Alec couldn't cry anymore, Daizi still didn't move from that spot on the floor. She just kept rocking him and rubbing his back. Gently, she began to sing him her lullaby, not paying mind to anyone but her son. It didn't matter how late it got, she would sit up all night holding him if that's what he needed and he could wake up in the morning stiff, but still in her arms. Daizi had promised she would be there, and so unless he pulled away, she would be. It wouldn't be the first time she stayed up for someone who needed it.
 
"You'd know that for sure," Xander agreed. He ran his hands through his hair, this time to try to get it under some semblance of control. "It'll be nice when this round stops and we can relax for a while." He glanced at his father. "Is Mama okay?"

Alec did eventually wonder a bit if he should move. His mother had to be so stiff and sore now. She shouldn't stay here on the floor with him. Yet he couldn't bring himself to pull away. He wanted to, for her sake, but he couldn't. If he was already selfish, was it okay to be selfish for a little longer and stay here with her?
 
"I do not know if any of us are okay tonight." Dark replied, looking towards the stairs, "I can hear her singing, if I really listen. She must be with Alec."

Even when Alec stirred, Daizi stayed exactly where she was and continued to rock him. They'd probably be more comfortable on one of the beds, she knew, but as long as Alec was where he needed to be, she'd handle it.
 
"That's good," Xander mumbled. He didn't know what to do now other than to just sit here and wait. What was supposed to happen now? What was he supposed to do? He was tired, but he didn't know if he could sleep. He wanted to be concerned about Alec, but still felt anger and wanted to be angry at him. What now?
 
Dark sighed, standing at the foot of the steps. He wasn't going to sleep either that night, he could already feel it. Then he shook his head and said, "Come on, we should make the couch into a bed for you."
 
Xander followed his lead and got the couch made into a comfortable bed. It actually was pretty comfy. Good thing since they'd had to use it as a bed while the Amtys were here. When they finished, Xander looked at Dark. "Now what?"

Alec finally started to stir, forcing himself to sit up and pull away. He didn't want to. Pulling away from Daizi's embrace felt like literally tearing something in himself, but he had to. "You can't stay on the floor, Mama," he whispered, not looking at her directly. "You might get sick."
 
"At this point in the night is when I lay down for about three hours trying to will myself to sleep." Dark replied sardonically, "I hope you do not face the same struggles."

"Why would I get sick just sitting on the floor?" Daizi asked, brushing her hand against his cheek.
 
Xander sat on the couch bed and stared at the ceiling. "I wish somebody in this house was a gamer so we could at least numb our brains if we're going to be up this late," he grumbled.

"Because you couldn't rest properly, and you'll get cold and stiff," Alec explained uncertainly. "I don't want you to feel pourly because of me."
 
"I used to play Skyrim because my therapist said it would be good escapism but then he made me stop because I was trying too hard to perfect everything." Dark replied, "I told you that before."

"I think I'd be alright, but if you like we can sit in your bed, unless you'd rather be alone now." Daizi offered, completely willing to just move where it was she was holding him if that's what was needed. "Or I can bring you your father's weighted blanket."
 
"I forgot about that," Xander admitted. "I never tried Skyrim because it sounded boring to play but cool to look at. I like the music." A long pause.

"Um. I don't know," Alec admitted, fretfully plucking at his sleeve. "I don't.... um. Would you... Could I have the blanket, and will you sit with me until I fall asleep? Please?"
 
"I enjoyed it. I built my home without buying anything but the glass for it, became an assassin, and married a dark elf who lived in the slums. And I became a vampire and sacrificed a friend to a god for armor." He sighed, looking about the space and then looked at the coffee table, where his and Daizi's half-finished glasses of wine were still waiting. As soon as he saw them, he picked up his glass and finished it. "I can leave you alone so you can try and get some sleep."

"Of course, baby," Daizi replied, squeezing him close, "Go get into bed, I'll go get the blanket."
 
Xander stared at Dark. "So. Life as usual around here, right? No wonder it didn't work for escapism." He shrugged. "You can leave, if you want, or stay. I'm probably not going to sleep for a while."

"Yes, Mama," Alec said quietly. He forced himself up, feeling suddenly very cold, and climbed into bed, dragging a few stuffed animals in with him. He didn't care if some would call it childish. It was comforting.
 
"Essentially." Dark replied, and then looked down at Xander for a moment longer before sitting down on the couch besides him, "Is there anything else on your mind?"

It didn't take long for Daizi to return with the large weighted blanket. It wasn't as big as their bed, obviously, but since Dark was so large, his blanket needed to be, too. After carefully making her way to the bed, stumbling a bit on some of the items left over from the argument earlier, she sat down on the edge of the bed and draped the blanket over him, tucking him in like he was just a little kid again. Then, from out of her pocket, she took out a small sachet of dried lavender and a small amethyst stone, small enough that it wouldn't be felt, and gently tucked them both beneath Alec's pillow. Finally, she lay down beside him and pulled him back into her arms, "How's that?"
 
"Oh, lots of things. Lots and lots of things. Too much flaming dumpster trash in my brain to sort out right now," Xander told him. He hesitated and grudgingly admitted, "But the company's nice. Like a... what do you call them... fire line, I think."

Alec sniffled and nestled into her. "Really nice. Thank you for not hating me, Mama."
 
Dark nodded, "I understand that feeling, although I would not use the same words. I do not know what a fire line is, either." He leaned forward and poured a bit more wine into his glass and then sat back again, "It is that hard sharing the bedroom?"

Daizi smiled softly and kissed the top of his head, "There is nothing you could do which would make me hate you."
 
"I think it's the thing they use when fighting wildfires that keeps the fire from spreading, but I'm not sure that's the right word," Xander told him. He eyed the wine and then gestured to it. "Can I try? It didn't use to be so bad. It was fine. I can't remember ever not sharing a room, but lately... Sometimes I get nightmares that I'm drowning in stuff. Like literally drowning in it like it's water. That, or sometimes one of Alec's projects is trying to eat me."

"Sometimes I feel like you should," Alec whispered to her.
 
"Last time you did not like it," Dark reminded Xander, passing the glass over, "The offer always stands if you ever want to consider sleeping somewhere else. We have space in the basement that can easily be turned into a bedroom."

"Why would I hate you?" Daizi asked, turning her face towards him.
 
Xander took a sip and made a face, smacking his lips lightly. He paused and tried another sip. "Is it weird that it's growing on me while also being awful?" he asked, handing it back. "I guess that is an option, and I... I don't want to say yes, but... it doesn't feel like my room. Not like it used to. At first, it felt like an escape. But now it's Alec's workspace and storage dump."

"Because I'm selfish and mean and hurt people. Hurt you," Alec murmured, closing his eyes.
 
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