How Green Becomes Wood

"Alright. We'll get an appointment scheduled for you." Daizi said, "Thank you for speaking with us."

"If the new therapist does not click, you have to tell us." Dark said seriously, looking at Alec, "Do not stick with her if it is not helping. It is normal to try different professionals before you find one suitable."
 
"Okay. Thanks." He turned and walked away, taking the stairs slowly before disappearing into his room once more.

They were trying to help. They were trying to make things better. They were trying to fix things. But what if it couldn't be fixed? All he did was make one disaster after another. The Crystal nonsense. Milo and his mother thing, and Milo still hated him, hadn't even acknowledged what Alec had tried to tell him, tried to open up to him about, which could only mean he hated Alec and was just minding his manners around him. Leaving school that time with the Milo incident. The many times he'd hurt Daizi's feelings. Basically everything school-related these days. Emma. Xander. It was all, all too much. Ba kept saying it was natural to make mistakes and to mess up, and he thought he believed that, wanted to believe that, but it seemed every time he tried to do anything outside of exactly what he was supposed to do, he broke everything and went crazy. Nothing worked. Ever. Why should it start changing now? He'd tried to open up to his first therapist, he really had, but that had seemed to help. He kept thinking maybe next time. Maybe next time. He liked having someone to talk to about anything and everything private, but it was never good enough. Never deep enough. Never enough.

He was never enough.

Or maybe that was the problem.

He was too much. Too focused on himself. Too focused on glitter. Too focused on trying to keep other people happy. Too focused on wanting to feel happy. Too focused on anything and everything. All of it. Feeling too much. He just wished it would all stop hurting so much. That somehow, some way, even when he did mess up, it wouldn't hurt so bad. That somehow, some way, he could figure out how to function as a proper person, properly in tune with other people's pain, and properly able to handle his own.

But.

If Ba still hadn't... then what hope was there for him?

He curled up under the covers and pulled the blankets over his head, trying not to feel any longer.
 
Dark and Daizi spent some time going through the three names Alec had selected and coming up with a ranked list of who they felt would best be able to help Alec. Then, after making sure all of the offices were open, sat back to call the different offices to see if they could set up an appointment, beginning with their favourite name on the list.
 
Alec stayed in his room for most of the rest of the day, coming out only for water at the end of the day. He did eat a couple of slices of bread, which was better than nothing, but still wasn't interested in food.

Xander spent most of the day out in the shed focused on work, which was both fun and frustrating him. He finally came in shortly before dinner feeling headachy from the smell of leather and crosseyed from trying to squint at tiny details for hours. He knew he probably should have stopped sooner, but he was so close! So close! He had a good feeling he'd finish up on Friday, maybe Thursday if he was allowed to steal some time away, but he wouldn't count on that.

The next day was Thanksgiving. Both twins showered and cleaned themselves up before dressing up. Alec chose to repeat the outfit he'd worn to meet Matt and Sean with the mustard yellow sweater and blue jeans with their sunflower motif, but he skipped the necklace this time. It was perhaps the first time in over a year he had actually repeated an outfit when going out to something special, but the jeans fit loosely as did the sweater, which was important when going to a feast. He'd gone light with the makeup but still matched his outfit. Xander wore black, as usual, with jeans and a loose-necked sweater as well, also planning for a looser fit, and silver earings.

Alec's mood lifted some with the promise of people and distraction. When Xander talked to him like nothing was wrong, his spirits lifted a little more, and he was nearly back to his usual self. He still carried a shadow, but it was in the background, not smothering him.
 
On Thanksgiving, since they were going to see Cooger's family, Daizi didn't dress quite as extravagantly as normal. Instead, she wore a silk, ankle-length slip dress over a black turtleneck. The slip dress was a dusty green and patterned with ravens. She wore her hair up, chose more-normal sunglasses, and accessorized with a death moth necklace and a string of pearls, and of course she still wore earrings in every hole in ears.

...So maybe it wasn't that understated, but the sleeves were a normal style, they didn't flair or puff out at all, there was no lace, and only a single layer of skirt. Dark dressed in his usual black suit, although he chose death moth cufflinks and chose a similar shade of green to the darkest hues in Daizi's dress to match her. They dressed Ivy in a little black and red overall dress with sunflower buckles over a sweater. In a way, despite her not wearing the same colours as her mother, she looked like she was matching her mom, although that wasn't the intention.

The night before, they had prepared an Egyptian dessert to bring to the table, and while they were in the car, they did take a moment to remind the twins of the behavior expectations for the day and impress upon them those expectations also applied for while they were in the car. It was an almost two hour drive to Cooger's parents' home.

When they arrived, they were welcomed in warmly by Shelley Cooger. Having grown up in West Virginia, she still had a touch of a southern accent, but it had mostly faded so it only came out on certain words. Having spent her career as a lawyer, this was very much by design. In contrast her husband, Scott, whom she met in law school, still sounded very much like the born-and-bred New Yorker he always had been, although they had moved away from the city after retirement, bringing them closer to their only son. The rest of the house was a swarm of relatives--Cooger's aunts and uncles, his cousins, and their children. Already, some of the older men were asleep "watching" football while some of the younger ones were throwing the ball around outside. Because the family was primarily boys, Ivy was immediately fussed over for simply not being one herself.

Cooger had been in the kitchen, helping his dad with the turkey, but when his family came in, he let it be for the moment and gave all of them except for Xander (who got a solid fist bump) a fierce hug.
 
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It was an overwhelming event, but a warm one. One that had Alec and Xander forgetting their problems of the last few days in favor of new ones, especially one recurring problem: Who was this person talking to them like they knew each other?? They remembered some people with ease. Others were lost to the sands of an entire year of not thinking about them. Still, they did their best to get along. Xander stuck to the edges but did not fully hide. Alec gave his best attempt at joining throwing a ball around but soon relegated himself to just cheering or chatting. It was an awesome day!
 
Luckily, many of Cooger's relatives also didn't totally remember Alec and Xander. The family wasn't as large as Daizi's, and they were able to recognize 'oh yeah, that's Dark and Tarot's adopted sons', but they had to be reminded about names, ages, and those details. Unlike Daizi's family, they didn't know all of the details, and so asked more of the boring questions everyone asks teenagers like if they want to go to college.

One of Cooger's uncles practically forced Dark to drink a beer--a Coors Light, of all things--taking some weird issue with Dark's preference for wine, like he always did, and Dark spent about an hour forcing the single bottle down before returning to drinks he actually enjoyed. Daizi was allowed into the master bedroom to nurse and that room was also where Ivy was allowed to nap. While she was awake, she was torn between being curious and excited around all of the strangers and being absolutely intimidated by all of the strangers. Although her name wasn't remembered all that more than her brothers' names were ("She's got some sorta plant name, right? Is it Lily?"), most of the adults clearly remembered the extremely tiny baby who was at the table a year ago and were delighted by how much she had grown. At some point, she was presented an absolutely obnoxious turkey toy which made a gobble noise over banjo music when it was squeezed, and this kept her occupied for an extended period of time. While relatives yelled and cheered at the football game, there was an enduring gobble gobble gobble. Banjos. Gobble gobble gobble. Banjos. Gobble gobble gobble. mixed with the sounds of a baby shrieking in delight.

The food was mostly delicious, although there were one or two questionable sides. One was a horrible meal presented by a relative who was clearly making an attempt to be health conscious in the worst ways possible, and on the opposite side of the spectrum was a massive casserole which seemed to have no less than three layers which were just mayonnaise. It was clearly Cooger's family by the way he was delighted to get a bit of that casserole.

All of the desserts, though, were absolutely lovely, and by the end of the night, Dark expected the bulk of his family would end up falling asleep at some point on the drive home. Ivy already was when they left, meaning, graciously, they could 'forget' to bring the turkey without Ivy crying as if her soulmate had been robbed from her.
 
The twins ate a lot, even Alec, including some of the questionable casserole. Alec thought it was weird but didn't hate it. Xander despised it, hilariously. Neither could bring themselves to try the healthy option, but there was so much food that it was easy to skip. All in all, both behaved like perfect gentlemen and avoided all arguments.

On the way home, Alec happily babbled about all the family gossip he'd picked up from those chatting around him for about half an hour. Then he was out like a light. Xander lasted a little longer, fighting the urge, but then he, too, was snoring in the back and plastered against the window. He'd enjoyed himself quite a bit, too, especially the food, and no one had been offended when he refused any and all offers of some form of touch. That had been a relief.

They woke up when they got home and groggily climbed out of the car, turning to help with Ivy's things and anything else that needed brought inside.

When everything and everyone was in and settled, Alec plopped down next to Xander with a relieved sigh. "Today was a very good day," he announced.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Good turkey, too, not dry at all," Xander remarked, leaning back comfortably.

Alec glanced st him and smiled. "And now you can come back, right? I made sure all of my stuff is out of the way. Your area is just waiting for you to move back in!"

Xander looked at Alec steadily. "One good day does not mean it's all okay," he said quietly. He stood and stretched. "I'm going to take Enkidu for a walk and try to work off some of this turkey."

"Oh. Okay," Alec said, watching him walk away. He looked down at his feet and whispered, "Okay."
 
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The chatter throughout the day, and the car ride home, brought some peace of mind to both Dark and Daizi. Just like Xander, they knew they were not out of the woods, yet. There was still a lot of healing left to do and a long road ahead, but the quiet reminder things could improve wasn't meaningless to either of them.

When they got home, Ivy failed to stay asleep when she was being taken out of her car seat and being woken prematurely set her crying, so Dark took her upstairs to rock her back asleep, suspecting it make take awhile. Downstairs Daizi stretched and went upstairs to take her hair down change into something comfortable before returning back downstairs for a glass of water.
 
Ciara called Daizi then to wish her, Dark, and the twins a happy Thanksgiving, formal and stiff as ever, but she meant it. She had to work through Thanksgiving (something she offen signed up for as she hadn't had families to spend it with for years), but she had wanted to let them know she thought of them.

Tristan called a little later, hoping to not catch them in the middle of some celebration. He still felt awkward and, unlike Ciara, had not resigned himself to the fact that he was, indeed, family. He, also, just wanted to let them know they'd been thought of.
 
Daizi was absolutely delighted to hear from Ciara and did everything she could to keep her on the phone for longer. Of course, she wished her a Happy Thanksgiving, promised she'd share her well wishes with the rest of the family, and expressed hope Ciara would come visit for Christmas again.

She expressed similar sentiments to Tristan, promising him he called after they had returned home for the night. Although she didn't try as hard to keep him on the phone, the attempt at a conversation was still there. She was not one to ever have a brief conversation with family.
 
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Ciara graciously talked to Daizi for some time before politely ending the call. She'd rather enjoyed the discussion even if she was not the most comfortable even still.

Tristan talked for a while, also enjoying the conversation, but he did not linger as long as Ciara.

Lex called Cooger shockingly late qnd dead tired from visiting her family, but she wanted to tell him she'd been thinking about him. Even if she did almost fall asleep while talking to him.
 
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