Much, much later, Alec lay in bed staring at the ceiling. He rolled over for the thousandth time. Nope. Still wasn't working. He could not get comfortable. His mind was spinning around and around, but slowly, like a dryer instead of the final wring cycle of the washing machine. Round and around and around...
Finally, he got up, pulling his blanket off the bed and dragging it up over his shoulders. He groped his way through the dark, grateful that nothing changed position in this house, and made his way to the basement. There was even less light down in the windowless basement than there had been above ground, but he gradually made his way down the stairs to the corner where Xander had set up his bed. Xander was, of course, out for the count. Alec sat down on the edge of the mattress and gently prodded Xander until he woke.
"What?" Xander mumbled, barely opening his eyes.
"I miss you," Alec said softly.
There was a long silence. Then Xander heaved a sigh and scooted over, pulling back his blanket. Alec gratefully climbed in and nestled up against his brother. The bed was barely big enough for the both of them, but it still worked as long as neither of them wanted any personal space. Xander draped one arm over his brother and was already falling back to sleep.
Alec gently nudged him again, earning an annoyed grunt. "Am I like Mum?"
"Huh?"
"Am I like Mum?"
Xander groaned and rubbed a hand over his face before plopping it non-too-gently back over Alec. "You woke me up to ask me that?" He growled softly. "Fine. You have her eyes, and I think her laugh, maybe."
"That's not what I mean," Alec muttered.
"Okay, then you are going to have to be more specific."
"Am I like Mum like... how she... she was and stuff. How she lived. Her choices and stuff."
"I don't know, man." Xander shifted to a more comfortable position. "Maybe a little."
"Oh," Alec murmured, wilting a little.
"Because you make panic choices and then try to stick with them no matter what good sense says," Xander told him. "Other than that, I don't think so. I can't think of any other ways you two are similar."
Alec stared into the darkness, only just barely able to make out the shapes of the equipment in the basement. "I don't want to be like her. Not like that."
"Then don't be," Xander mumbled sleepily. "You know you don't want to be, so start trying to change it."
"How do you change who you are?" Alec asked.
"I dunno. That's why we're both in therapy, doofus. I know it's not easy, but you can at least adjust."
ALec smiled slightly and buried himself against Xander. "I'm sorry I drove you away. I didn't mean to. I'll try to respect your space when you move down here, but... can we have sleepovers sometimes?"
"Definitely."
"Thanks." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. For a lot of things."
"Me too. Now can we please, please go to sleep?"
"Yes."