How Green Becomes Wood

As the party began to wind down, Dark and Daizi made a point of encouraging everyone there to take leftovers home with them, especially of the cake, since it was all paid for anyway but far too much for them to all keep.
 
Lex was quite happy to help take a lot of leftovers home. She'd eat off of this for a couple of days, at least! And she barely put a dent in it.

Alec guarded a couple of pieces of cake for himself, determined to take some home. Xander claimed a couple of pieces, too, but one he intended for his father just in case he gave away the rest of the cake. It was cake Dark didn't hate! They had to have a couple of slices of it.
 
Cooger and Khalil also took a good bit home, and Hetty took home two pieces of cake, one she wanted to save for when Rose returned home. When selecting his leftovers, Khalil also made sure to bring cake for his wife and sons. They'd enjoy it.

As the party wound down, Daizi bounced Ivy--fallen into a deep sleep--while Dark made his goodbyes to his guests, thanking them for coming.
 
The twins waited until everyone else had left before approaching Dark.

"How does it feel to know you don't have to clean up this mess? That you get to enjoy a party and then... leave?" Alec asked Dark.
 
"It is nice," Dark said, idly arranging some of the plates to make it easier on the employees, "and it is nice to have known in advance when I would get to be finished with the bulk of socialization."
 
"That is possibly the best part, even more than not cleaning up," Xander agreed.

Alec giggled. "I promise, if I have any parties at our house, I'll make sure to have an exact cut-off date."
 
"I appreciate that," Dark said, picking up Ivy's diaper bag, now somewhat stuffed full of presents he told his friends not to buy him.

"And so does she," Daizi said, rubbing Ivy on her back, "I'm not sure the last time she's slept this solidly."

"She got to run around with her uncle and was fed cake, I am not surprised she crashed."
 
"She did a lot of running and got to see a lot of people, new and old," Alec smiled happily.

Xander offered to help carry the bag, and they headed out to the car after their parents. They were ready to crash, too, though not as heavily as Ivy.
 
Once Ivy was carefully placed into her car seat, Daizi kissed her on the forehead before getting into the passenger side, stretching out her legs.

"Did you have fun, Goose?" She asked her husband as he buckled himself in.

"Yes, it was peaceful," He replied, "I cannot complain."
 
Falling silent for a few moments, Dark looked out at the road, all at once sad, wistful, and content, "I am glad too. I would have missed out on so much." Without saying a word, Daizi reached over and rested her hand on his forearm. He glanced at her, but she couldn't see him to look back and smile. Instead, she traced tiny invisible hearts into his skin with her pointer finger.

When they returned home, Dark took Ivy upstairs to lay her down in her crib, taking some moments to just sit and hold her. Daizi, meanwhile, fed Enkidu and took him on his final walk of the evening before getting ready for bed. She finished getting ready first with the bathroom door shut, and came out in a large fluffy robe. When Dark went into the bathroom, though, she began lighting candles.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?" Daizi asked, as Dark started preparing for bedtime.

"I did," He answered, after a moment, shutting off the faucet. "I was not sure about my time being partitioned for me, but I enjoyed it in the end. I liked being able to dedicate specific time to all of you."

Slipping out of her robe and revealing a negligee Dark couldn't see just yet, she told him, "I'm glad, we really wanted to treat you. Alec struggles because he is so extravagant and probably would've hosted a parade for you, if he could, so he had to really work to curtail his desires for your sake."

"I am impressed by his restraint," Dark said, going through the steps of his skincare routine, "No, I did enjoy today. It was comfortable, that is all I really need."

Daizi crawled into bed and adjusted the pillows so she could lay out in the most alluring way she could manage, "We all love you, Goose," She slipped one of the straps of her negligee off of her shoulder, "I know your birthday is hard because we don't actually know the date," she moved it back onto her shoulder, "but everyone deserves a day which is just for them." She paused, frowning, and slipped the strap back off of her shoulder.

"I know," Dark said, sighing softly, "and the thing is, I loved it. Today was... But I still struggle. I know what you are going to say to this, Spider, and I do try to remind myself of it, but... I still do not feel like I deserve it. I still do not feel worthy of all of the attention." He stepped out of the bathroom, looking down at the ground, thinking deeply, "Today I just kept looking out at everyone who was there for me, who was so excited to be there to me, and I kept wondering--" He looked up, finally seeing his wife, and nearly did a double take, "Oh."

"I, um," Daizi swallowed, "Didn't... expect the conversation to get... serious."

"No, it..."

"I can change, so it's less..."

"No, do not do that."

"I just, I want to be able to have this conversation with you, it's important," She said, sitting up a bit, "I care about your feelings, I want to know what is on your mind."

Dark looked over her, and the candles, and couldn't help but laugh quietly at the absurdity, "We can talk later. Or first. Do not move."
 
The next day passed by quietly enough. The twins slept in, enjoying their last week off, and worked on their own projects. Naps were also had. They both played with Ivy and kept her entertained, and Alec texted Emma a lot.

That night, though, perhaps because it had been such a relaxed day, Alec couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on the bed, his wired mind going over things from the past few days. Did he do the right thing at the party? Was that a dumb text he'd sent to Emma? That thing Ba said during his interview. Could he make another cake like the birthday cake? It was good. That other thing Ba said in the interview. Should he have clapped at the birthday party? Where had he put his red yarn?

Finally, he got up and tiptoed downstairs. He didn't see or hear anyone awake. After standing awkwardly in the dark for a moment, he went to a specific closet, turned on the light, and started carefully searching through Dark's art journals. He wasn't certain what he was looking for. Something. But what?
 
There, in the closet, were all of Dark's sketchbooks, lined up neatly in rows, spanning time from 2010 to the present. The majority were blue, the red ones were fewer and marked as private. And of course, the art developed over the decades. The shading became more precise, anatomy became more accurate.

Even in the early ones, Dark took care to illustrate the quiet peaceful moments. Prior to 2013, Daizi wasn't present in them, as it was before they got back together, and it was a moment where his various exes could be seen, a few included Matthew, the one whose house they visited, back when he looked the way Dark had described him. It was clear from those few sketches why Dark hadn't recognized him when they met again. Cooger was thinner in those days, and had gone through phases of not having and growing beards, but in the early years it never got nearly as long as it was now.

It was in those sketchbooks, though, that his dark images were most frequent. Grim fires and desolations, mutilated bodies shambling, aching, screaming. So many were featureless, only shadowed shapes of anguish. Even the sex of these figures could be difficult to differentiate, and sometimes they stretched on for pages, and pages, and pages. Just blood, ash, and suffering. Sometimes nude even to the point where flesh did not even cover the bones of these figures.

Then, gradually, it'd return to the calmer, delicate sketches of his life. Occasionally, there'd be drawings of tattoo ideas intermixed. Through out the years, the proportion of dark figures to the sketches of his life varied. Sometimes they took up the bulk of the book, sometimes they were scarce, although they never disappeared entirely. The general trend throughout the years was they decreased, although there were exceptions to that rule.

Even now, in his most recent sketchbooks, they appeared. During a period of time from the year before, clearly from somewhat before to shortly after their attack outside the school by the change in Alec's haircut and the way Ivy grew, they became more intense and frequent again, and over the past few months of his most recent sketchbook, the grim ones again became more prominent. His most recent sketches, at least the ones prior to his birthday, were all pained.
 
Alec started with a random book in the middle and flipped through it carefully. After a bit, he put it back and started with the first book. Page after page, drawing after drawing, image after image, he looked at each one with care, studying them. He moved through the books at a steady pace, but sometimes he went back to a previous image or even a previous book to compare something he'd seen in a current book. Then he'd continue his forward journey. He had no idea how long he sat there in the closet, his back starting to ache until it gave up complaining.

He hadn't realized he was crying until a drop splashed on the page near the time when they'd been attacked at school. Hastily, he dabbed it off and adjusted the book so no more tears would fall on it. He kept going until he reached the present day. He stopped at a dark, tormented picture that had been done he guessed sometime around when Dark's interview had happened. He stared at it, studied it, willed it to speak to him, to tell him its secrets.

He didn't want it to.

He needed it to.

He didn't want to see it.

He had to.

Pain racked his soul as he studied the dark, twisted images of pain and suffering. His hand shook and wetness streaked his cheeks, but still he tried. He tried to look into the darkness. He tried to understand it.
 
These books were like Dark's diary. Although they were wordless, they illustrated his joy and suffering. They captured moments which mattered and moments which simply soothed his weary soul. Dark was so tired, and not just from his chronic insomnia. These sketches were what he kept to console himself and express what nobody could expect him to find words for before he had to get back up and be strong some more. It was all he could do.
 
Alec finally finished the books. He closed the last book when he reached the empty pages and hugged the book to his chest. He sat there for a long, long moment, staring off into the darkness. He was trying to process what he'd seen. Trying to understand the depths of this darkness. Trying to understand the sweet images of Ivy or Daizi or himself or his brother right alongside those dark, horrible images. It just didn't work! He couldn't understand!

But he had to accept.

He did not have to understand to accept, did he? To accept and support.

Finally, Alec put the books away, taking care to order them properly. Then he turned off the light and went upstairs. He went to his bathroom first and washed his face, and then went to his parents' bedroom. He hesitated outside for a long time and listened closely at the door. Finally, he let himself in and crept up to Dark's side of the bed. Cautiously, he reached out and poked Dark's shoulder.
 
When Alec came in, Dark was actually sleeping for once. Daizi was fast asleep with her arms loosely around his waist and her face pressed into his back as though he were a large body pillow or a stuffed toy. Alec's initial register didn't register, but a subsequent nudge made his eyes fly open and he bolted awake, eyes trying to make out the shape of this person standing over him in the darkness.
 
Alec quickly backed up, afraid Dark would do something in his startled, newly-awakened state. "Ba, it's me," he said, his voice whimpering slightly. "Ba, can I... Please, can I be with you? Please?"
 
Alec gripped his opposite elbow with one hand. He genuinely had no idea what to tell his father. He'd come because he really wanted to be with the man, but now he was regretting the action. Maybe he should have gone to Xander instead. He thought about saying it was nothing and leaving, but Dark wouldn't buy that.

"I... I just... I got caught up in my own head in a lot of dark thoughts."

That was the truth minus some details. Would it work?
 
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