How Green Becomes Wood

"I imagine I would have gone on my own," Dark said, begrudgingly playing into the fantasy despite disliking it.

"No," Daizi argued, "You would have brought them with, I would've wanted to meet them. Or maybe, in this universe, I would've come to visit you."
 
"Disappearing on your own and trying to make things less painful for people is very much on brand for you," and failing, Xander thought but didn't say since that was something he also did, "but then Mama wanting to meet us is also very on brand."
 
"I do not think I would have done it to make it less painful," Dark argued, "I will not deny the overarching truth of that statement, but I imagine if I went to get her, it would be in the delusional way I went to her in the first place: simply to see her, refusing to believe there were any ulterior motives, and in such a circumstance, surely I would have expressed the plan to simply go and visit a friend of mine for a few days."
 
"Alright, I see your point," Xander agreed, nodding. "You were such a liar. It's kind of impressive. Poor Aria in all of this, though, gotta say." He glanced at Cooger. "Was she a real pain in the a**?"
 
"No, it was my fault," Dark answered, "She was lovely."

Cooger clicked his tongue, "No she was not. She wasn't awful or nothing, but she was just as messy as you were."

"She was complicated---" Dark began, but Cooger shut it that down.

"Did you forget the time she came pounding on our door at three a.m. yelling at you to take her back?" Cooger asked.

"Well---"

"Or the time she broke up with you because she saw your antidepressants and thought you were a drug addict?"

"Yes, okay, khalas---but I am pretty sure she was only a bit crazy because of how I was."

"You have a bigger ego than you think you do, Brother," Cooger chuckled. "Sometimes crazy just attracts crazy! And I know you're going to bellyache all remorsefully about what a dog you were but I'm still convinced she cheated on you multiple times too! Y'all were both awful."
 
"In a weird way, they were perfect for each other." Cooger said dryly.

"She was not that bad," Dark said, defending her, "She had her problems, but so did I. When last I heard, she is quite happy now. And, for what it is worth, when I got on that plane to Egypt, we were not still together. She ended things when I told her I was thinking about buying my plane ticket."
 
"If I turned out this way, surely she may have too," Dark said.

Daizi stretched out her legs and carefully moved her sleeping baby into her lap, "You know, Cooger, I don't think it's fair you tease Dark for his romantic history, when yours hasn't been all that clean either."

"Hey, I ain't never cheated."

"No..." Daizi nodded in agreement, "but you did break up with a woman because she didn't like your favourite pizza place."
 
"Hmm. That can be pretty serious," Xander mused. "What level of didn't like? Pizza is serious business. Besides, didn't one of you once tell me that it was cool for Uncle Ten to break up with someone because they didn't like the smell of pool water? I think you said something about how it wasn't trival if it mattered to you, or something like that."
 
"You can break up with anyone for any reason," Daizi giggled, "That doesn't mean your friends can't tease you for it later."

Cooger pointed at Xander, "It was the best pizza place in New York, she said it wasn't even top ten. I'd forgive her if she were more into Chicago style or something, but it wasn't even that."

"Hey, Cooger, remember the time your girlfriend broke up with you because her mood ring turned black?" Dark asked.
 
"You have certainly seen them before, they are those cheep rings you see at gift stores with the big stone you hold your thumb onto and they change colour," Dark explained, "They literally just function by temperature. Her hand was just cold."
 
"Oh, those things! I never really looked at them," Xander admitted. "So, she got a cheap little bit of plastic that worked as a thermometer and dumped you when her hand was cold?"
 
"She said black meant stress and anxiety," Cooger grumbled, rubbing his hand roughly over his face, "and since her mood ring came up that way, it meant she must be feeling latent stress and it must be our relationship causing it."

"This was three years ago," Daizi mentioned.
 
Dark raised a finger, shaking his head, "It was latent stress. She was unaware she even felt stressed, she thought, prior to the mood ring informing her otherwise, she was perfectly happy."

"It might've been the beard," Daizi mused, "I like Dark's, but I don't know if I'd like it if it was longer than this."
 
"So, she was perefectly happy until the ring informed her that she was actually low-key stressed about his beard," Xander said seriously, nodding along. "Yep. That makes sense to me!"
 
"I was sad when they broke up, the two of us got along really well," Daizi admitted, "Goose, come here, I need you to sit beside me so I can figure out of a longer beard would annoy me."

"It would annoy me," Dark said, sitting beside her.

"I'm not asking you to grow it out, I'm just thinking," Daizi told him, "and I think it'd be weird to ask Cooger to let my play with his beard."

"My mom hates my beard," Cooger told Xander.
 
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