How Green Becomes Wood

"I don't know," Milo replied, "I don't generally want to interact with people. I don't know my mom's side of the family well at all, but I remember being a kid and being close with the cousins on my dad's side. But it was so awkward when we visited for Thanksgiving."
 
Xander thought about this for a bit, watching as Becky showed Sloan her favorite leotards from the last Olympics. "I didn't think I wanted to know any family," he finally said. "Family was me, my brother, and our mum. Then it was me and him and our parents, and then the Mini, and then we got an aunt, and there were the amities from our mother's side... Didn't really get along with the cousins famously, but it wasn't too bad. Probably a me problem there. It went from empty to full in no time flat."
 
"I think I had the opposite experience," Milo mused, fiddling with this camera strap, "My family was never as large as yours is now, but I went from having, you know, a pretty okay sized family to it just being me and my mom."
 
Xander nodded. Maybe it was their separation, but something Alec wod say popped into his head. It felt right, so he decided to say it. "Family is good. Half born into, half picked. I think you should think about reaching out to them. Email or letter or something. Just something that says you're alive and open to communication. Maybe it'll go somewhere, maybe it won't. That's just my two cents. You can do what you want with them."
 
"Yeah, maybe," Milo shrugged, "I just don't know how. And it's weird now, you know? When I was there for Thanksgiving, it was just weird. Because I don't know what's been happening for them, but they all know the broad strokes of what I've been up to."
 
"Oh, trust me, I know," Xander said blandly. "Just because they think they know the broad strokes doesn't mean they don't want to know more about you. The stuff beyond the earth-shattering stuff. Just reach out with something little. Maybe talk about your upcoming move. Your photography. How school is going. Something like that. Short and simple. Doesn't need to be a big deal."
 
"Yeah, I could," Milo replied, "but I guess... I don't know. If my grandparents do let me go with my mom soon, then I'm going to be leaving not long after I get back in touch, so I don't know if it's... worth it, I guess."
 
"Dude, you can still stay in touch no matter where you are," Xander pointed out. "It doesn't matter if you're here, in New Mexico, or Timbuktu. It might mean you won't be seeing everyone in person all the time, but keeping in touch electronically or with old-fashioned mail. You keep in touch with Noor. You can keep in touch with them. If that's what you want."
 
"I think it's different with Noor," Milo said, "I don't know how to explain why. It just is." Then after a moment, he shook his head, and said, "No, I do know. It's that, if I fall out of touch with her, it won't hurt like getting back in touch with my family only to fall out of touch with them would."
 
"Family is pain," Xander said simply. "There's no way around it. That's like the one thing I've learned for sure, and you already know that with what you've already gone through. I never thought the pain was worth it, before, but I was wrong. That's me, though. You gotta decide for yourself if you're up for the pain. If you don't reach out, you get a small, consistent pain of 'what if?' If you do reach out, you have possibilities. Maybe it'll be great. Maybe it'll be awful. Maybe it'll just be mid. One thing it'll absolutely be is an answer. One way or another. And you'll probably get different answers from different people."
 
"I saw them at Thanksgiving, so I already sort of reached out, or was reached out too, or was brought along out of obligation." Milo responded, "It was just weird. None of them were how I remembered them, which obviously makes sense, and I knew it was going to be that way, so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it still was."
 
Xander shrugged. "Then all you have to do is keep the lines open on your end. People don't age when you don't see them. Not really. You know they do, in your head, but you still see them the same. It's the opposite when you watch someone grow up, and then, bam, you realize, this kid used to be tiny."

"What kid?" Becky asked, tuning in on their conversation. "Your sister?"

"Yeah, she's got new words and stuff and it's shocking," Xander told her.
 
Milo was quiet, contemplating what Xander had said. It was a complicated situation emotionally, and he was still so tired. He was fairly certain he'd never not be tired.

"That's why they count in months," Milo mumbled, "because a 12 month old and an 18 month old are both one year olds, but they're completely different in what they can do."
 
Becky looked at Milo in surprise. Most boys her age wouldn't think of something like that. "That's true! I still catch myself trying to convert in my head how many years old it is, and it is kind of funny how long some parents hold onto that counties system in months. What's the longest you've ever heard?"
 
"Oh, uh, I don't know," Milo replied, and meant it. He knew about babies, but didn't really interact with or have conversations about them often, at least not before making friends with Xander, "I guess, uhm..." he shut his eyes for a moment, "204."
 
Becky and Xander both stared at him.

"204 months?" Becky asked, wondering if she'd misheard or if Milo had misunderstood the question. "You've heard of a parent referring to their seventeen-year-old kid as 204 months?"
 
"No," Milo replied, looking down at the table, "but if I were to refer to myself in months, it would be that, or in a few weeks it would be, which would make it the longest I've heard."
 
"Okay, wow," Becky said, not sure if she followed his reasoning but accepting it. "You're one really old child!" She grinned at him. "It's your birthday soon, then? That's cool! Do you have any plans for it? Mine's in the summer, and hardly anyone can ever come because it's right in the middle of prime vacation-before-school time."
 
"Would you want to? Do something for it, I mean," Becky asked. "I know some people love a birthday bash," she gave Xander a significant look and a wink, "and I love a party, but I get not everyone is a party person."
 
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