How Green Becomes Wood

He pointed his thumb at his paint-covered adorable and highly impressionable niece, "If you think the second she gets too excited she ain't gonna give us a hug, you haven't spent enough time with her. It don't matter what I do, she will cover us in paint."
 
Lex thought about pointing out the distinction between Ivy accidentally getting paint on them and deliberately painting another person, and then she decided that was a problem for her parents. Gleefully, she swiped a finger across Coogers cheek, leaving a purple streak.
 
"Well, well, well," Lex grinned. "It looks like we're going to war now, don't it?" She picked up the cup of paint with the least amount in it and dolloped a generous amount with her thumb. That paint then went in a swooping sweep right over Cooger's brow and a firm (but careful not to hurt) tap on the end of his nose.
 
Cooger looked from the paint on his hand back to Lex, and an idea came into his mind, but he decided against it. He was about to paint on Lex's face again, but before he could, Ivy stood up, walked right through the paint, and as expected, gave him a big hug. Then, giggling, touched his face, grinning at the hand print she left behind.
 
Lex laughed heartily. "Ha! Good job, Ivy! Get his face!" She looked at the little footprints left on the deck. "Aw, so cute! Good thing it washes off." She looked at Cooger, grinning. "Now what are you going to do? You've been pinned by Cuteness!"
 
"Ivy," Cooger said, putting both hands on her shoulders since she was covered in paint anyway, "This is very important. I need you to go and give your Aunty Lex the biggest hug of your life."

This seemed like something Ivy might be inclined to do when he turned her around to face Lex, but then Enkidu came up, curious about his humans. Seeing Ivy so covered in paint, he walked right through her drawing on the ground and came up to sniff her face. Laughing at this, Ivy started petting him with her paint covered hands before hugging him instead.

"lex." Cooger said, slowly looking from this to his girlfriend, "i think we will die tonight."
 
Lex stared at Enkidu, hoping hard that the homemade paint would wash out of dog fur, and also wondering how to wash a dog. Then she laughed and leaned over to hug Cooger. "Oh well! In for a penny and all that!" she giggled.
 
Wiping his thumb on his arm, he grinned at her and said, "Now I do," before taking out his phone and taking pictures of Ivy and Enkidu together, and of their foot/paw prints on the deck, "I think while she's distracted, we may want to pick up the paints."
 
"I've got paints if you can keep them corralled," Lex said. "I didn't even think that maybe we should leave the dog inside."

She picked up the papers and the paints, cradling everything carefully so that nothing would spill. Once she had everything orderly, she opened the door, slipping out of her sandals as she stepped inside. Her bare feet didn't have any paint on them, but her shoes might. The pictures she laid out on the kitchen counter with care, and the paints she rinsed quickly down the sink, putting the bowls aside to wash later. First, there was a dog and a child to take care of.

"Maybe we should hose her off with the dog," Lex suggested, stepping outside and back into her sandals.
 
"No, me either," Cooger chuckled, shaking his head, "We should've seen it coming."

While Lex was inside, Cooger did his best to keep Ivy distracted so she wouldn't notice she had lost access to the paints. Then, once Lex returned she looked up and said, "She'd probably love it. Do you think it's warm enough though?"
 
Lex held out a hand and considered the ambient air. "I think if we're fast and only get the main stuff. Then she'll be clean enough to get to a bathtub. Or we can wrap her up in an old towel and take her to the bath directly. The first way is more fun, the second way is safer."
 
Cooger considered their options and then said, "Let me go get a towel, and then we can wrap her in it as soon as we finish hosing her off, then that way she'll be warmed up right after. I just know if she sees us hose the dog, she'll be jealous and want to play in it too."
 
"Right, then," Lex said with a sharp nod. "I'll watch the kid and get the hose unwound. Grab a bag, too, for the wet stuff so it doesn't drip or smear everywhere. Let's do it!" She glanced at Ivy and sighed. "I'm going to get soaked, too, aren't I?" She shrugged. "Oh well!" She picked up Ivy under the arms with Ivy facing away from her and swayed her back and forth playfully as she walked into the yard.
 
"Good idea," Cooger said, going inside and retrieving all the items. The fact all the towels in the Necropolis were back seemed like a blessing, and after grabbing one and a tote bag from the pantry he went back outside. Pausing on the deck, he stopped to smile at the sight of Lex spinning Ivy around like that, taking a quick picture of it. Although nothing about this made him think that maybe he wanted a child of his own after all, it was still really nice to see his girlfriend be so kind to his niece.

"I brought Tarot's towel," He said, holding it up, "I figured I could've found one of hers, but this way when she's hosed off, I can burrito her so she won't ruin the house before we can get her into the bath."
 
"Great idea!" Lex praised. She set Ivy down and showed her the hose. "Ready to play in the water, Ivy? We're going to wash Enkidu and you, too!"

Once they had the water turned on, Lex started awkwardly trying to spray Enkidu down. She'd never actually washed a dog, so she was going by what she vaguely remembered seeing on TV and movies.
 
When Lex started spraying him with the hose, Enkidu, rather indignantly, started to run away from the hose. Ivy squeaked in shock, but unlike her dog, she didn't run to try to get away from the hose. Instead, she ran in and out of the water to play with it, enjoying yet another new experience with her aunt and uncle.

Seeing how Enkidu absolutely refused to be in the water, Cooger weighed his options. Either he could cut his losses, get in his truck, and drive home to pretend like he was never here. Or he could hold that painted dog still and get soaked by the hose himself. Looking at his girlfriend, and thinking about his brother, Cooger swore, regretted some of his choices that day, and went and knelt with Enkidu, holding him still.
 
"Thanks, Babe," Lex said sincerely, recognizing his sacrifice. Grimly, she worked at trying to work the paint out of the dog's fur while trying as hard as she could not to spray Cooger or herself too much. She was not particularly successful, but at least Ivy was having fun! She kept one eye on the little girl, telling her she was doing a good job now and then. Unfortunately for Lex, she was wearing a shirt that, while not white, was pale in color, meaning certain things were starting to slowly get more and more visible. The clinginess was not helping, either. Or rather, it was, just not in the way Lex would have wanted had she actually been paying attention, which she wasn't at the moment.

Eventually, she got everything out of Enkidu's fur that she possibly could, which was all except a few tiny bits of color here and there, but it was mostly unnoticeable. Lex handed the hose to Cooger, took a deep breath, and chased after Ivy, doing the usual pretending to be a monster as she scooped her up and tried to combine getting her clean with pretending to eat her. This meant that she definitely got a lot more soaked.
 
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