How Green Becomes Wood

"I am not so committed to cleanliness that I cannot cope with the thought my child was, at one point, messy," Dark said blandly in response to their shock and terror, "Had I come home and find you had let a paint-covered toddler and dog loose in my living room, I would be more put out, but she was outside, the mess was cleaned up, so no harm befell me."

"But she was so absolutely covered in it!" Cooger replied, "She was slimey to the touch!"

"Cooger, you need to understand: She is 18 months old. I can sit in an empty room with her, and the second I blink, she will have found a way to make herself slimey, or sticky, or damp, or messy in some hitherto unknown way." He shrugged, walking into the kitchen, and with a wave of his hand said, "At least this time, someone else did the clean up for me, and I didn't have to get messy with her."
 
Lex hummed, but wasn't sure she trusted this new, calm, rational Dark, who was not attempting to spike their heads. Even though she appreciated it. She pointed to the picture. "There it is! Her first masterpiece."

Alec sniffled and pretended to wipe away a tear as Dark walked out of the living room. "They grow up so fast!"

"I hate everyone and everything," Xander grumbled from his couched position.
 
"It is very avant garde, is it not?" Dark asked, holding the painting up towards the light. Her little hand and footprints on the page were his favourite parts. Ivy was getting so big, but she was still so little... It warmed his cold, dead heart. Hearing Xander, he set the painting down and walked to the living room, "You inherit your misanthropy from me. What inspired your hatred now?"
 
Xander rubbed his brow with one hand and waved the other vaguely. "Oh. You know. Happiness. Cuteness. Pain and suffering. Entrapment."

"Quite the list," Alec said dryly.

Lex nudged Cooger. "We should get some dry clothes, and the father is here... assuming he really is the father... so what do you say we bounce?"
 
"The usual suspects, then." Dark replied, but with real understanding underneath his tone.

"Probably a good idea," Cooger told Lex, but then said, "Chin up, Xander, you got your momma's soup to look forward too."

Then, before Cooger could leave with Lex, Dark stopped them and thanked them one last time for watching Ivy. To Lex he again offered to pay Lex, an offer he did not extend to his brother... mostly to purposefully annoy him, because usually he did offer to pay for babysitting, an offer Cooger always declined.
 
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