How Green Becomes Wood

"I think it's called a dress. They might both be dresses, I don't know. Are they both dresses if one's in two pieces?" Xander wondered.

"Why? What did you give her? What did he give you?" Alec demanded.
 
"I don't know what this is," Sloan said over the sounds of rustling, "but it is not a dress."

When she stepped out again, she had her hands on her hips and an unamused look on her face. Immediately, Claire had to turn her back and cover her face, certain if she looked at Sloan for even a moment longer, she's fall over dead.

"You," Sloan said to Xander, "Are no longer allowed to pick dresses."
 
"Oh," Alec said in a strangled tone, his mouth twitching as he looked Sloan up and down. "Oh my. I." He turned away and coughed. He sneaked a glance at Claire, and seeing her nearly made him lose it.

Xander grinned unrepentantly and twirled the matching top hat between his hands before plunking it on her head. "Don't know what you're on about. You're fabulous! And everyone is going to know to beware your sting."
 
Silently glaring, Sloan went back inside the dressing room and pulled the curtain shut. As soon as it did, even though Sloan could totally hear her, Claire couldn't keep it together anymore and broke out into laughter.

"I'm not trying on any more of your dresses, Xander!"
 
Claire breaking broke Alec, and he cackled in delight. He laughed so hard he couldn't even speak.

"Oh, come on! Did you even look at the other one? And you could always try this one. I think you'll be a real hit. No one will be able to take their eyes off of you." He thrust one hand through the curtain - very much not looking - and dropped the final dress onto the floor. The one he'd had hidden the whole time. This was a slinky black number with some interesting straps and drapage that technically didn't show anything, but it didn't exactly leave much to the imagination. What it did leave, it taunted. He fully did not expect her to try that one on.
 
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