How Green Becomes Wood

"You're welcome. I'm wondering how fast you'll destroy them," Xander smirked.

"Me next!" Alec cheered, handing over his own gift. His gift was shaped much like Xanders, but a bit smaller. Inside the black wrapping paper and inside the flimsy box, was a black shirt with a large, white goose with yellow feet and bill. It was holding a bat in its beak, and the bold, white words above said, "Mess with the honk," and the words below finished, "You get the bonk."

"Wait, what?" Xander murmured in surprise, staring at the shirt.
 
Xander handed him a small box a little bigger than a ring box. "This is not my fault," he stated.

Inside the box was an enamel pin bearing the exact same design as the shirt, but with a blue background and the word "bonk" written on the bat.

"I think our twinness is showing, because we got you One Thing jointly, and the rest of this is separate," Alec told Dark. "My stuff comes from a different Silly Goose store! Who would have thought there were two?"
 
"You should really talk to each other about what you want to do," Daizi suggested which a chuckle.

"Thank you anyway, I do have places I like to put pins," Dark assured Xander before putting it first into the box and then moving the box far from where Ivy might be able to reach to mess with it. Her eyes had lit up at the sight of the small curious trinket.
 
"You're welcome," Xander told him, completely expecting him to not wear the pin and fine with it.

"I have one more gift," Alec said almost sheepishly as he handed Dark a soft, squishy package. "It didn't come in any other colors." It was socks. Blue and yellow socks with white geese all over them in various funny positions, like on their back or honking. Around the cuff, black words declared, "Certified Silly Goose."
 
Dark didn't intend to wear the pin on his shirt, but he did put pins on some of the large tote bags he used for shopping, so he intended to add it to the mix, and when he opened the socks he shook his head and, looking at his son, he said, "But I have already said, I am a serious goose."
 
"Yes, Ba," Alec agreed, "you are a very serious goose, which makes silly goose stuff that much funnier! Plus, Mama calls you a silly goose sometimes, so we are not without cause."

"Mama, do you want to give Ba your gift before we give him our joint one?" Xander asked her.
 
"He's sillier than he lets on," Daizi grinned, lightly ruffling her husband's hair. Then she found a small box on the table and handed it to him, "I promise this one is not Goose themed."

When he opened the box, his eyes lit up softly, and he said, "Really?"

"Mmhm."

"You said that we could not manage it."

"Well yeah, I lied. Like a liar. So you wouldn't buy them before I could surprise you with them."
 
"It is the 20th anniversary of Danger Days," Dark told them, "And they actually released a new album not too long ago. Back in 2026, we went to their Black Parade reunion tour, and it was spectacular."

"The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders sued them," Daizi laughed.
 
Xander pulled out the large gift from under the table and pushed it closer to Dark. "Looks like you'll have to find out. This first."

"Then this," Alec said, placing a second box on the table.

It was goose themed. Because it was a goose. It was a vintage, heavy-duty, probably-concrete porch goose that was life-sized. The twins had cleaned it up, but had left many of the wear and tear marks from life on it to give it personality. Hilariously, some of the way the eyes had worn had given it a very suspicious gaze.

In Alec's box, there was a selection of ten costumes, either fully handmade or altered to fit the goose. All fully and beautifully gothic male outfits.
 
Dark looked over all of it, amused, a bit touched, and... rather confused. He really had no idea how to respond to all of it, so he just looked at them both and said, "You both really took my wife's pet name for me to heart."
 
"We've never really done anything with it, never at all," Alec said a little sheepishly. "We thought maybe this year we could do something to honor the gander, just for fun."

"And then it clearly spiraled out of control," Xander said blandly.
 
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